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Fuckin' Magpies

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Morning fabanistas...

Woke by squabbling Magpies.

Hope everyone got a rude awakening...

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!


"Morning fabanistas...

Woke by squabbling Magpies.

Hope everyone got a rude awakening... "
Good morning

Nice gentle wake up this morning as was away before the alarm went off lol

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By *teve_it_aloneMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Oyster Catchers. Now, they’re the real bastards of the morning!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oystercatchers all night bleedin long!

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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

I know your pain...squealin little feckers ...them and seagulls ..rats with wings.

Pains in the arse..

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By *atsnTitsCouple
over a year ago

Land Of Naughtiness

I love waking up to birds chirping away it’s so much nicer than an alarm.

However it is nippy when I have to slyly salute them when pass them for good luck

Tits

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I love waking up to birds chirping away it’s so much nicer than an alarm.

However it is nippy when I have to slyly salute them when pass them for good luck

Tits "

Can't beat a sly salute...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gone are the days to be woken up by the words 'I love you'.

Awwww

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

One for sorrow,

Two for joy,

Three for a girl,

Four for a boy,

Five for silver,

Six for gold,

Seven for a secret,

Never to be told.

Eight for a wish,

Nine for a kiss,

Ten for a bird,

You must not miss.

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By *atsnTitsCouple
over a year ago

Land Of Naughtiness


"One for sorrow,

Two for joy,

Three for a girl,

Four for a boy,

Five for silver,

Six for gold,

Seven for a secret,

Never to be told.

Eight for a wish,

Nine for a kiss,

Ten for a bird,

You must not miss. "

And if you see more than 10 your fucked

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east


"One for sorrow,

Two for joy,

Three for a girl,

Four for a boy,

Five for silver,

Six for gold,

Seven for a secret,

Never to be told.

Eight for a wish,

Nine for a kiss,

Ten for a bird,

You must not miss.

And if you see more than 10 your fucked "

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I wake up early everyday automatically. I love mornings and bounce out of bed like Tigger ready to embrace the day.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wake up early everyday automatically. I love mornings and bounce out of bed like Tigger ready to embrace the day.x"

lollol, I actually believe you do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The name for a collective/group of magpies is known as a “Murder of Magpies”. A positive fountain of useless pish I am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An 8yr old accidentally punching me right on the bugle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I love waking up to birds chirping away it’s so much nicer than an alarm. "

My alarm used to be chirping birds.

Now it’s barking dogs!

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk


"An 8yr old accidentally punching me right on the bugle."

It’s NEVER accidental

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By *atsnTitsCouple
over a year ago

Land Of Naughtiness


"The name for a collective/group of magpies is known as a “Murder of Magpies”. A positive fountain of useless pish I am."

I thought a group of magpipes was called a parliament lollll

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"An 8yr old accidentally punching me right on the bugle.

It’s NEVER accidental "

It was when I punched her back

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By *teve_it_aloneMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"An 8yr old accidentally punching me right on the bugle.

It’s NEVER accidental

It was when I punched her back "

I’m still scratching my head to work out what part of the anatomy the bugle is!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The name for a collective/group of magpies is known as a “Murder of Magpies”. A positive fountain of useless pish I am.

I thought a group of magpipes was called a parliament lollll "

Both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"An 8yr old accidentally punching me right on the bugle.

It’s NEVER accidental

It was when I punched her back

I’m still scratching my head to work out what part of the anatomy the bugle is! "

Nose..

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By *teve_it_aloneMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"An 8yr old accidentally punching me right on the bugle.

It’s NEVER accidental

It was when I punched her back

I’m still scratching my head to work out what part of the anatomy the bugle is!

Nose.. "

Thank god for that!

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"One for sorrow,

Two for joy,

Three for a girl,

Four for a boy,

Five for silver,

Six for gold,

Seven for a secret,

Never to be told.

Eight for a wish,

Nine for a kiss,

Ten for a bird,

You must not miss. "

None of that counts if a baby one deids in yer garden.. never get rid of them...

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"An 8yr old accidentally punching me right on the bugle.

It’s NEVER accidental "

ANDY!!!!!!!!!!!! Ya wee hairy gobshite!! How ye diddling? (Sorry folks) x

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By *imbobaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Have a scoped air rifle. Magpies don't bother me.

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"Have a scoped air rifle. Magpies don't bother me. "

Didn't bother me until a babby one head bombed my patio table as we were having dinner lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What woke me this morning?

The family of four in the house behind us jumping about on their trampoline, screaming like banshees.

It will be getting slashed at approximately 2am tomorrow morning.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Someone evidently fed them their morning serving of sucrose and E numbers, then set them loose upon the world to terrorise those of us who didn’t happen to go to bed at a sensible time last night.

Me? I was woken up by a splitting headache. Again.

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By *olloxsMan
over a year ago

edinburgh

Sounds like love thy neighbour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Magpies are vermin. Over running town and country and hedge birds are suffering. Also for some reason the b**tards like pecking double glazing silicone!!!!!!

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By *eather47Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Theyre viscous feckers them and seagulls and crowa Shoot the feckin lot But wait u cant do that seagulls are protected birds what daft fecker passed that feckin law

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By *eather47Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

meant crows

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By *teve_it_aloneMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline


"What woke me this morning?

The family of four in the house behind us jumping about on their trampoline, screaming like banshees.

It will be getting slashed at approximately 2am tomorrow morning. "

The trampoline, I assume, rather than the family of four... or did they REALLY piss you off?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What woke me this morning?

The family of four in the house behind us jumping about on their trampoline, screaming like banshees.

It will be getting slashed at approximately 2am tomorrow morning.

The trampoline, I assume, rather than the family of four... or did they REALLY piss you off? "

The trampoline.....mibbe....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nice wee explosion woke me up today....

4am. I heard the bang, looked outside, seen flames over the top of the houses across the road. Called the fire service, but they had already arrived.

Turned out to be a shed between the houses, so nobody hurt.

Frightning sight to wake to tho....

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By *illdeeCouple
over a year ago

nr Edinburgh


"The name for a collective/group of magpies is known as a “Murder of Magpies”. A positive fountain of useless pish I am."

Murder of crows, surely?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The name for a collective/group of magpies is known as a “Murder of Magpies”. A positive fountain of useless pish I am.

Murder of crows, surely?"

I prefer "shower of bastards". Can be applied to any group of animals or people who are ripping ma knittin'.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The name for a collective/group of magpies is known as a “Murder of Magpies”. A positive fountain of useless pish I am.

Murder of crows, surely?

I prefer "shower of bastards". Can be applied to any group of animals or people who are ripping ma knittin'."

You knit too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The name for a collective/group of magpies is known as a “Murder of Magpies”. A positive fountain of useless pish I am.

Murder of crows, surely?

I prefer "shower of bastards". Can be applied to any group of animals or people who are ripping ma knittin'.

You knit too? "

Yeah....gonnae knit myself a burd I think

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A hawk?

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