FabSwingers.com forum: Advice please.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This 1s for the guys.

When you send a message and it's not a fancy a f..k or free today/night

But it's a hi hows your day been?

Do you want an instant I'm not interested reply or a yeah ok thanks carry on a conversation then swap pics and see if there's an attraction.

Reason im asking.

Guy messages me starting up a convo then swapped pics and there was no attraction told him politely and I got the ffs you women think your all that you could have just say no thanks message!

Bit confused as how do I know without swapping face pics?

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By *hat_not_whatMan
over a year ago

Glasgow West

You didn’t do anything wrong. How could you tell without pictures. He should’ve sent one with the first message.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

To be fair not all guys send face pics with a 1st message

But why would I say no thanks straight away from a

Hi how you doing message?

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

Different for almost everyone would be my guess.

Me personally I don't msg about sex anyway so would be a bit miffed if a person attempted that route with me

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By *ilversunMan
over a year ago

Cumbernauld

At least its a reply lol. I think get the pic out the way early unless they have good chat. ??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Not all will send a pic early on tho?

But my point is what's a good reply to a hi how are you

Is it can we swap face pics right away?

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By *eep.Man
over a year ago

Just a background character

Don't think you did anything wrong OP. I've have conversations pan out that way.

I'm also not keen on sending a face pic in a first message.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So your ok with having a conversation then if there's no attraction it's a ah well nice chatting thanks

Or the

Ffs well that was a waste of my time.

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By *ilversunMan
over a year ago

Cumbernauld

"So your ok with having a conversation then if there's no attraction it's a ah well nice chatting thanks

Or the

Ffs well that was a waste of my time."

I would prefer to be asked for face pic rather than waste time.

However Im not a huffy stuck up male on here and have no problem if we chat and it goes no where.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We find its best just not to get into conversations without face pics and if the other side wants to do the getting to know you bit first its a polite no thanks

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

Tbh I never send a face pic with first message ..and happy to strike up a conversation ..if.. when face pics have been swapped and there is no attraction then hey that's life ...I'm happy within myself to know some will like me some won't ...I'm not about to spit the dummy out and those that do well ..I think then you'd had a lucky escape

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We find its best just not to get into conversations without face pics and if the other side wants to do the getting to know you bit first its a polite no thanks "
so your reply to a hey how's your day been message would be?

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

Facepiece etiquette should be imo if your asking you should have sent yours

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yip if someone sends 1 I send 1 back wether I'm attracted to them or not

Yes would be great but as above posters say not everyone does that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

declare your disinterest at the point it becomes valid. if its on the receipt of a message / if its after seeing a pic etc. if they cant take rejection its their problem not yours. but it is better to be told no than just ignored if people are grown ups and can take the rejection

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"declare your disinterest at the point it becomes valid. if its on the receipt of a message / if its after seeing a pic etc. if they cant take rejection its their problem not yours. but it is better to be told no than just ignored if people are grown ups and can take the rejection"
well said

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By *eep.Man
over a year ago

Just a background character

My thinking is if a first message (and presumably a browse of my profile) doesn't spark enough interest to get a reply, then including a face pic probably wouldn't have made a jot of difference.

But I'm not sending face pics out to strangers unless there's been at least some sort of initial interest or engagement. (Unless it's FacePicFriday).

If the conversation doesn't lead to anything, well hey ho that's just the way the cookie crumbles, and move on.

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By *ullie-kingMan
over a year ago

newmains

I appreciate the honesty tbh and the fact the woman has took the time to open my message and reply. Dunno why he would get pissy about it. Can only imagine how hectic a woman's inbox is

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So you send a message the fem is replying to your messages then you swap pics and she says sorry no thanks

Your say ok thanks for chatting?

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By *eep.Man
over a year ago

Just a background character

"So you send a message the fem is replying to your messages then you swap pics and she says sorry no thanks

Your say ok thanks for chatting?"

Yes exactly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

See that's what I thought lol

But suppose everyone's different?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you send a message the fem is replying to your messages then you swap pics and she says sorry no thanks

Your say ok thanks for chatting?"

yea. sending pic is always gonna be sink or swim. some you win some you lose.

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

Lol this thread will end up showing quite a bit about people and their perceptions of what the site is.

I find it strange most of the replys here seem to be time focused.

That's only because time is not a major factor in my use of this site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're not attracted to a guy what you suppose to do... get them telt!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People with standards will respect other people have standards, People with none will think everyone should fuck anyone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lol this thread will end up showing quite a bit about people and their perceptions of what the site is.

I find it strange most of the replys here seem to be time focused.

That's only because time is not a major factor in my use of this site

"
as in what way kola? Like your happy to have a 3 day conversation without swapping a face pic? Iv had that and happy with to do so but my point is am I wasting someone's time by doing So?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Few messages, see if there's an attraction, move forward or move on

Should be all there is to it lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Few messages, see if there's an attraction, move forward or move on

Should be all there is to it lol "

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

"Lol this thread will end up showing quite a bit about people and their perceptions of what the site is.

I find it strange most of the replys here seem to be time focused.

That's only because time is not a major factor in my use of this site

as in what way kola? Like your happy to have a 3 day conversation without swapping a face pic? Iv had that and happy with to do so but my point is am I wasting someone's time by doing So?"
3 days I may not have even told them my real name only jesting. but my interest in folk is piqued not by how they look but how we interact I've met folk 20 minutes after chat no pics I've also spoke to folk for years but never met sex for me is a by - product

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Us men need to accept that women can say no thanks at anytime. We need to be grown up enough to just accept that without being a dick. It is that simple. It says a lot I think if you cant just move on. Lifes too short.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lol this thread will end up showing quite a bit about people and their perceptions of what the site is.

I find it strange most of the replys here seem to be time focused.

That's only because time is not a major factor in my use of this site

well said

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lol this thread will end up showing quite a bit about people and their perceptions of what the site is.

I find it strange most of the replys here seem to be time focused.

That's only because time is not a major factor in my use of this site

as in what way kola? Like your happy to have a 3 day conversation without swapping a face pic? Iv had that and happy with to do so but my point is am I wasting someone's time by doing So?3 days I may not have even told them my real name only jesting. but my interest in folk is piqued not by how they look but how we interact I've met folk 20 minutes after chat no pics I've also spoke to folk for years but never met sex for me is a by - product "
iv actually done the same so that's why tonight when I got the ffs your wasting my time message I was a bit taken back as what I did wrong?

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By *eep.Man
over a year ago

Just a background character

"Lol this thread will end up showing quite a bit about people and their perceptions of what the site is.

I find it strange most of the replys here seem to be time focused.

That's only because time is not a major factor in my use of this site

iv actually done the same so that's why tonight when I got the ffs your wasting my time message I was a bit taken back as what I did wrong?"

Their problem, not yours.

Everyone knows a face pic is a deal maker or breaker, whether it's after 2 messages or 3 days of conversations.

If one party can't be respectful of the decision, well they could have prompted a pic swap sooner. Would they behave much differently though?

Dodged a bullet I'd say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, I asked for a pic, I got a kik!

Did not answer back.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Maybe we need a disclaimer -

By requesting a face pic I am not entering into a binding contract to meet you. I reserve the right to decline to take this any further and no offence is intended.

A simple, ‘your not my type’ seems easier.

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

"Lol this thread will end up showing quite a bit about people and their perceptions of what the site is.

I find it strange most of the replys here seem to be time focused.

That's only because time is not a major factor in my use of this site

as in what way kola? Like your happy to have a 3 day conversation without swapping a face pic? Iv had that and happy with to do so but my point is am I wasting someone's time by doing So?3 days I may not have even told them my real name only jesting. but my interest in folk is piqued not by how they look but how we interact I've met folk 20 minutes after chat no pics I've also spoke to folk for years but never met sex for me is a by - product iv actually done the same so that's why tonight when I got the ffs your wasting my time message I was a bit taken back as what I did wrong?"
I have spoke to you over the yes and I've always thought of you as a rock solid person we have crossed swords on points and vehemently agreed on others.

I think you may be taken aback by how much the site has changed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lol this thread will end up showing quite a bit about people and their perceptions of what the site is.

I find it strange most of the replys here seem to be time focused.

That's only because time is not a major factor in my use of this site

as in what way kola? Like your happy to have a 3 day conversation without swapping a face pic? Iv had that and happy with to do so but my point is am I wasting someone's time by doing So?3 days I may not have even told them my real name only jesting. but my interest in folk is piqued not by how they look but how we interact I've met folk 20 minutes after chat no pics I've also spoke to folk for years but never met sex for me is a by - product iv actually done the same so that's why tonight when I got the ffs your wasting my time message I was a bit taken back as what I did wrong?I have spoke to you over the yes and I've always thought of you as a rock solid person we have crossed swords on points and vehemently agreed on others.

I think you may be taken aback by how much the site has changed "
I think you may be right

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe we need a disclaimer -

By requesting a face pic I am not entering into a binding contract to meet you. I reserve the right to decline to take this any further and no offence is intended.

A simple, ‘your not my type’ seems easier. "
love it!!

Instead of the university thingy

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

Difficult .... I’ve chstted to someone for nearly 10 years off and on and we have never switched pics although I think we may have seen each other on cam back in the day but I really can’t remember, however we both know we are never meeting for sex.

If I got sent that message I would reply and probably message a few times to see if we had any connection and I would then send a pic of me if I thought we did. If he sent a pic back and I wasn’t attracted to him I would say (nicely) . If he said I’ve wasted his time then so be it ..... nexttttt

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By *oast888Man
over a year ago

cambuslang

Can’t see any problem with what you did, it seems like the natural order was followed and at least you had the courtesy to tell him your not interested.

He should take the positive that he was interesting enough to have a conversation with.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks guys n gals

For all your comments

Seems as tho no one can please everyone lol

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By *utdooryoneMan
over a year ago

Over there

There are dicks in every part of life.

Sounds like you were perfectly reasonable, and have every right to say no, at any point.

Just move on....

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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

If your chatting away that's all good,

If either go in a huff just cause one of the two don want sex after a face pic then that's the huffy persons problem

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By *ullie-kingMan
over a year ago

newmains

"So you send a message the fem is replying to your messages then you swap pics and she says sorry no thanks

Your say ok thanks for chatting?"

Yeah. Same if after swapping pics and I don't see an attraction, I'd like to think if I said "sorry I don't see an attraction here thanks for swapping pics" there wouldn't be an issue either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh lighten up, it's a shagging site, not Love Island!

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

I think that we are subjective in nature.

Our perception of a face pic may vary depending upon how engaging the chat has been. How their image matches your mental picture of them.

Obviously this does not happen if they send a picture immediately.

Any how, it matters not, if there is no physical attraction then accept it and say thanks for the chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You didn’t do anything wrong. How could you tell without pictures. He should’ve sent one with the first message. "

I totally disagree with this ...

IF ..i had an interest in someone i would try build up some fun banter and mutual conversation.

I have know interest in sending a face pic nor recieving one until im entirely sure there is good communication and trust ..

Sending a random face pic to someone .reck naw ..

I dont see any issue in what youve done Oldie ..x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks

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By *e DevilMan
over a year ago

Blantyre

Oldie , my advice is change your profile slightly. You say you want a face pic early , change it to face pic with your first message. You will still get lots of interest , maybe a few guys will decide they dont like the idea. If a guy has the best banter in the world it still wont get them a meet if you are not attracted to them so it leads to false hope then having to deal with rejection. Poor souls . Also you could reply with a 'sry your not my type' with the initial pic message . Thats easy for a guy to deal with. If a guy sends a great message that sparks interest but without a pic you could simply reply ' think you forgot to include a face pic or have you just not read my profile' . Your not being rude but clearly it starts with initial attraction for you, so your playtime , your rules. Simples. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks

But as I dont send a face pic 1st I would never ask anyone to attach 1 with a 1st message.

Yes it would be great if guys would but not fair to ask.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just a thought. Write a basic description of the type of guy that appeals to you on a physical level? Then when guys read your profile they can assess if they fit the description. However, the flaw is that the guys who are too "horny lol" to read a profile will still message you. The grown ups should be able to figure it out tho.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First thing I do is send a face pic. Often a non nude body pic too.

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