FabSwingers.com forum: Is she cheating

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Me and my gf have been together 8 years now and had profiles before we met as well as now cpls profile. We’ve met few people off here together and single with each other knowing and agreeing. However i work away a lot and over last few months shes been going out (cinema/lunch dates/ coffee meets/concerts etc) with a guy shes known for years longer than known me. Hes only came on scene more now that i work away. She said hes just a friend but on 1 occasion she said she was bit concerned he thought maybe more and inviting her for catch up at his place. She says nothings happened and just friends but im still worried because now shes making ‘dates’ with him and not telling me when previously she did. Should i worry or still trust her?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here's a sure fire way to find out...ask her

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have and she says hes just a friend. But recently ive noticed changes in her. Tiny things thats got me thinking is it for me or him. Im worried im over thinking. Now starting to check phones and stuff and i hate myself for doing that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

She also had couple toys shes had for long long time and all of a sudden they have disappeared. She said she threw them out but i dont believe her because other kinky things she has is still there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She also had couple toys shes had for long long time and all of a sudden they have disappeared. She said she threw them out but i dont believe her because other kinky things she has is still there. "

Toys do break.. if you don’t trust her there isn’t any point putting yourself through this but from what I can see it’s your issue, not hers

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I did trust her because she told me everything they spoke about and telling me she met up but then she told me she was worried he was reading too much into it and took a step back for a bit. That worried me and i told her. She said she was able to handle him but worried she now has to handle me and my feelings not to upset me. That makes me worse. Ive told her but she still doesnt tell me things

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By *acktar74Man
over a year ago

leeds

Checking phones and you being away will only cause more self doubt. If she admitted she wants to meet others while you are away would you be ok with that. Ask her if she says nothing's happened then believe her. If you don't believe her leave her as without trust it's over anyway

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple
over a year ago

Falkirk

Its not a nice situation to be in.

Like the the poster above has said its your issue however you will make your life a misery over thinking things.

I you are happy to have an open relationship together and both play alone then she is doing nothing wrong.

The only way to stop it is to set boundaries but by doing that you will jeopardise what relationship you have with her and she could say that its not for her.

Its a tough one OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I did trust her because she told me everything they spoke about and telling me she met up but then she told me she was worried he was reading too much into it and took a step back for a bit. That worried me and i told her. She said she was able to handle him but worried she now has to handle me and my feelings not to upset me. That makes me worse. Ive told her but she still doesnt tell me things"

Dump her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She may be able to handle him but she's not being considerate of your feelings. You're her partner and should be her priority, not him. You can't dictate who anyone talks to but if she cares she'd be willing to take a step back from this guy for the sake of your relationship.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

She said she did and understood and stopped but over last few months she’s met for coffee odd time and then went to a gig. When I checked phone other day he’s asked her to another gig and she’s agreed. It’s while I’m away again. I know I shouldn’t be reading phone. All 3 of us together other day and when said goodbye the both of them acted strange as if nervous to say goodbye in front of me. Heads fucked up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go with your gut. If thats telling you something is off, then it's off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are always risks when you play with multiple people aren't there? Feelings can come into play and suddenly the dynamics of a relationship can change. It's always best to discuss any feelings you have and see her response - otherwise your imagination will work overtime!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It sounds like it.

Does she spend as much time with her long term girlfriends as she does him?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

She’s not got any. Lives too far away. She used to but not anymore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So she only has one nearby friend and you are jealous

She tells you she is hanging out with him but you are the one being deceitful not trusting her and checking her private messages. Tell her your concerns and if you can’t control your jealousy then she is better off without you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

He’s only been coming around her since I started new job and being away. I’m probably just over thinking. Think the comment her having to handle me sticks in my head more

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"She’s not got any. Lives too far away. She used to but not anymore."

Don’t take any offence OP.

For the sake of debate, what do you expect her to do when you are away?

Sex is not the only thing a woman needs to be entertained!

So she’s friendly with a guy and go to cinema and gig what is the issue?

Don’t you think her changing comes from your attitude towards her and in fact has nothing to do with him?

Have a seat and a good discussion with her and you better think what you’re going to do if trust is no longer there... because you can’t go on mentally torturing her and yourself.

Hope this makes sense and good luck OP

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By *oast888Man
over a year ago

cambuslang

Just an observation but if there are some issues between the 2 of you just know and you mentioned that you have a couples profile then if she she's this thread I can't imagine it will make things in easier for you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These things can get under your skin, normally when you think something isn't right it usually isn't however from my experience.

It sounds like she was being completely honest with you about everything to begin with, but you don't think she is anymore (confirmed by her agreeing to go to a concert but not mentioning it to you).

Is she hiding what she is doing because she is doing something wrong?

Is she hiding it although she is doing nothing wrong but doesn't want to upset you, because of the way you have reacted?

From outside it's really hard to say and without getting it out in the open neither of you are going to be in a nice position emotionally.

Personally I believe you need to sit her down, maybe even take her for a meal then put it all out there calmly.

Maybe write down what you need to ask so you don't miss anything.

Tell her what's going on in your head, tell her you just need to be able to join the dots or it'll drive you mad.

Pose it as your issue but if there is anything she needs to tell you you need her to so you can both move past it and or deal with it.

Tell her what you want from your relationship, are you happy for her to meet with someone sexually alone when you are not there? How about emotionally? Can she have a fwb? Do you mind her having him as just a friend with no benefit as long as she isn't hiding anything?

I remember with my ex she was going to see a friend (male) all the time, for ages we were all friends and I'll be honest it never crossed my mind.

Then things began to change with us, then I noticed he was also different with me. I started to get suspicious, then things went really wrong.

To this day I don't know what went on but the atmosphere between us drove us apart.

Our biggest problem was opening up, we just didn't.

When myself and mrs f got together she was friends with her ex still, at first I wondered what if, then I put it to the side and thought I'm not doing all this again.

We opened up, I told her the red line with me will always be not being open and honest. After 10+ years we are still in a place of trust, mainly because if there's anything we both just say it.

I hope you can get there and get this resolved.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks. I don’t think it’s the trusting her that’s a problem it’s him I don’t trust. Typical bloke thing but I think he’s just after 1 thing and she’s friends. Yes she has a kinky side and I wonder because I’m away is it enough for her. But I do get she’s trying to save my feelings with way I reacted before. I Must trust her I know.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Surely if there was something going on it would show in how they text ?

If there is nothing other than making arrangements to meet then she aint cheating on you if shes telling you they are meeting !

On the otherhand maybe they have an agreement that when they text each other when your home its simply to arrange their meets to look like they are only friends.

Only advice I can give is go with your gut instinct op as it never lets you down .

Good luck xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks. I don’t think it’s the trusting her that’s a problem it’s him I don’t trust. Typical bloke thing but I think he’s just after 1 thing and she’s friends. Yes she has a kinky side and I wonder because I’m away is it enough for her. But I do get she’s trying to save my feelings with way I reacted before. I Must trust her I know. "

I think you have answered your own questions in your head already and deep down you trust her

Might be worth still telling her whats been going on in your head and you feel silly because of it, if nothing else it'll be off you chest and maybe she'll be able to allay your fears more.

Do it without turning it into a big drama and have a romantic time both before and after. Maybe take her to a spa or something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/05/18 09:35:37]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, 14 weeks ago you was having the same problem but she was your wife then but your gf now.. is it two ladies or one, confused.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swinging is all about emotionless sex with others which is exactly why our rules are nobody too close to home i.e. a neighbour or work colleague, no exes or people in the same circle of friends and nobody too regular. This is 100% mutual as we love each other and don't want to risk emotions getting involved... so my advice would be to ask her not to see the guy anymore and see how she would feel about those sort of rules... Swinging goes from fun to nightmare very quickly without them and i learned this the hard way many years ago when i let a friend get involved.

Hope you sort it out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"OP, 14 weeks ago you was having the same problem but she was your wife then but your gf now.. is it two ladies or one, confused. "

Yeah, can't believe the number of posters fell for this bullshit!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If i give any personal details then folk know who it is so trying to be discrete and still get advice from fellow fabbers

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By *mberbCouple
over a year ago

Lothians

1st of all I think this is the wrong place to bring this for obvious reasons lol. But for what it is worth I will say Once they start to Lie that in its self is cheating. If you cant trust and you cant be honest with each other then you don't have a relationship. I personally as a man would not except this situation. as said above follow your gut instinct! People can give you all the advice you want but you already know the answer deep inside. god luck sir.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pretty sure your relationship will be over when she sees this thread, if it wasn't already dead in the water.

Communication is always key in relationships, and choosing to do this says to me that you have got to the stage in yours where you really can't talk to each other, and you can't express your feelings, other than a swingers' forum, there can't be much of a future for you together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've always had male friends. One of them said to me tho that he had feelings for me and I ended the friendship immediately. It wasn't fair on him..me or my hubby. It's not right if he likes her more than a friend and they are still socialising. I think she's being really selfish. I have no problem with Mr having female friends and trust him 100% but the minute I thought there was feelings involved and it didn't end...someone's getting their eyes scratched out one way or another. Get her told x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've always had male friends. One of them said to me tho that he had feelings for me and I ended the friendship immediately. It wasn't fair on him..me or my hubby. It's not right if he likes her more than a friend and they are still socialising. I think she's being really selfish. I have no problem with Mr having female friends and trust him 100% but the minute I thought there was feelings involved and it didn't end...someone's getting their eyes scratched out one way or another. Get her told x"

Yeah thats exactly how we do it... apparently this post is bullshit anyway of you read the comments lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah thats exactly how we do it... apparently this post is bullshit anyway of you read the comments lol

Aww you talking shite OP lol x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its not a shite post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its not a shite post"

How does it work with being on here. Do yous both meet singles x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is she your wife or you gf?

14 weeks ago she was your wife?

Green arrow never lies!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Iv already explained why I said gf and wife. And yes we play together and on own with each other consent. This is different

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aww yous all scared him away. You big bullies x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Again makes me wonder why some guys can't accept that some women can have guy mates and no feeling?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shame this thread is apparently a fake one - doesn't take away from the great advice here from many though

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Looks like the OP has left the building

Wondering if he took his 'couples' profile with him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looks like the OP has left the building

Wondering if he took his 'couples' profile with him

Or "she" did... so many questions Max

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By *anarkshirelassCouple
over a year ago

lanarkshire

"Looks like the OP has left the building

Wondering if he took his 'couples' profile with him

Old saying if it looks like shit, smells like shit and tastes like shit..then it probably is shit

....Just like this thread... another Fab fantasist getting his jollies off

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Looks like the OP has left the building

Wondering if he took his 'couples' profile with him

Or "she" did... so many questions Max

Lol true Rouge

Maybe a come back with a 'fiancée'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looks like the OP has left the building

Wondering if he took his 'couples' profile with him

Or "she" did... so many questions Max

Lol true Rouge

Maybe a come back with a 'fiancée'

As long as it's not a boakakee (sorry that's just my opinion

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Looks like the OP has left the building

Wondering if he took his 'couples' profile with him

Old saying if it looks like shit, smells like shit and tastes like shit..then it probably is shit

....Just like this thread... another Fab fantasist getting his jollies off"

Indeed Lass x

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By *atsnTitsCouple
over a year ago

Land Of Naughtiness

God sake now we will never know the answer!!!! No gonna sleep tonight how ignorant of the OP

Tits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"God sake now we will never know the answer!!!! No gonna sleep tonight how ignorant of the OP

Tits

It think Max has a point... He'll be back (said in Arnie voice)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"God sake now we will never know the answer!!!! No gonna sleep tonight how ignorant of the OP

Tits

Ano. Wish they would have kept all their pointless opinions to themselves. I wanted to know what was going to happen. Sake

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By *ilveryFoxMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

Seems like it, face up to it and deal with the situation. The longer this festers in your head the more it will fuck you up, trust me

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

I was the guy taking his girlfriend out. I was banging her rotten. We used to laugh at him as we fucked. Great times cuckolding him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just caught up on this

one less fantasist to deal with.. lets them all out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was the guy taking his girlfriend out. I was banging her rotten. We used to laugh at him as we fucked. Great times cuckolding him.

Is that metaphorically speaking? X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was the guy taking his girlfriend out. I was banging her rotten. We used to laugh at him as we fucked. Great times cuckolding him.

In your dreams.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great comments Shame it’s not a genuine post, I had issues with my ex, zero trust in the relationship, he was on fab my gut told me he was apparently checking up on me, when I’m in a relationship I’m always totally committed and stay away from fab and the likes, I totally give myself over to my partner, I try ever so hard not to let my own insercirirtes have me questioning their behaviour but sometimes your gut instinct is telling you everything you need to know, I asked the questions time and time again about fab, did he still love me was there a reason he wasn’t coming near me etc, basically he was so caught up in his own insecurities/cheating as he will never truly admit what he was actually doing on fab, he pushed me away and made me feel so worthless and unloved I did eventually end up doing exactly that and having a one night stand just purely to get some attention, don’t know who’s heart broke more mine or his, took me a while to deal with my guilt and then to discover he had been on here was another blow, onwards and upwards as they say but I’ll certainly pay more attention to my instincts in the future, and communication is the key, and if someone doesn’t want to sit and “have this conversation” it’s probably because they don’t want to trip themselves up in lies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Great comments Shame it’s not a genuine post, I had issues with my ex, zero trust in the relationship, he was on fab my gut told me he was apparently checking up on me, when I’m in a relationship I’m always totally committed and stay away from fab and the likes, I totally give myself over to my partner, I try ever so hard not to let my own insercirirtes have me questioning their behaviour but sometimes your gut instinct is telling you everything you need to know, I asked the questions time and time again about fab, did he still love me was there a reason he wasn’t coming near me etc, basically he was so caught up in his own insecurities/cheating as he will never truly admit what he was actually doing on fab, he pushed me away and made me feel so worthless and unloved I did eventually end up doing exactly that and having a one night stand just purely to get some attention, don’t know who’s heart broke more mine or his, took me a while to deal with my guilt and then to discover he had been on here was another blow, onwards and upwards as they say but I’ll certainly pay more attention to my instincts in the future, and communication is the key, and if someone doesn’t want to sit and “have this conversation” it’s probably because they don’t want to trip themselves up in lies "

Frank and open... thank you, yes I get this and think it's very insightful xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fair play to you for sharing what was clearly a painful experience. We've all been there at one time or another I think. When trust goes communication goes with it and they are the hardest two things to get back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When trust goes communication goes with it and they are the hardest two things to get back"

So true...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When trust goes communication goes with it and they are the hardest two things to get back"

So true...

Very painful times and still hurts now somewhat, but I have been having fun recently but had to get that out my system and now in a place of contentment, still love the socialising on the site but I much prefer the familiarity and emotions of being in a monogamous relationship, the biggest draw for me personally to fab is the non judgmental attitude that “most” people on here have, I have always been fussy and cautious but still like the choice of having fun x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know the OP. When I sent him a private message he left the site. He is married and as far as I am concerned is a total fantasist. Unfortunately he will just probably rejoin using a different name

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

"I know the OP. When I sent him a private message he left the site. He is married and as far as I am concerned is a total fantasist. Unfortunately he will just probably rejoin using a different name

Unfortunately there's a lot of them (fantasists) about

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By *oxycouplexxxCouple
over a year ago

ayrshire

[Removed by poster at 25/05/18 16:49:38]

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