FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Scotland

Innuendos

Jump to newest
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Just for fun lets see who can make the most innocent phrase sound dirty.

I suppose i should start.

Should i come in the front or the back?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *appy 2 lickMan
over a year ago

lanarkshire

Would you like one or two

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you want it runny or hard ??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oooh i say Thats a lovely pear you have madame

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

I'm just going to put my tool in your mouth. (as the dentist says)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *awaiianguyMan
over a year ago

East Ayrshire

I'm a Stuctural Engineer, on opening her front door a female client said "good, you've come to look at my crack" - if I could have laughed like Sid James I would've

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *anky-pankyMan
over a year ago

Cumbernauld


"I'm just going to put my tool in your mouth. (as the dentist says) "

Lie back and open up wide.

Your just going to feel a little pick. ....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *illy7239Man
over a year ago

Stenhousemuir

Plumber at customers door

Hello sir im here to service your old boiler

Also, looks like a good rodding will will clear it out

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *teve_it_aloneMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

Shall I be Mother?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ullie-kingMan
over a year ago

newmains

Do you want a poke with that?

(Poke as in a paper bag depending on where in Scotland u are if the words used LOL)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Can I see your puppies??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Want to come to a kentucky hog roast with me

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’ll just feel a small prick......

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m

Always coming last

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t get it off for love nor money

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Just stick it in and wiggle it about a bit!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make sure you give that a good head as my pints poured

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a special on facials today

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have a special on facials today "

Love walking past the A boards outside shops reading that and tempted to pop in to investigate further

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *e DevilMan
over a year ago

Blantyre

Left the wife at home, she wants to trim her bush.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Thats a nasty looking gash ... i think there might still be some glass in it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mudg3rMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I work in a bar and a female customer asked for a double entendre. So I gave her one.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *mudg3rMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Used to think an innuendo was a Spanish suppository.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s gonna be a long ride....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

Ive been trying to give up sexual innuendos...but it's hard ....soo hard

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ive been trying to give up sexual innuendos...but it's hard ....soo hard "

Need a hand?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been working on a tender opening all morning. Contract documents of course. You filthy minded creatures.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ullie-kingMan
over a year ago

newmains

It's a hard ride... in my car... with the stiff suspension

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

Am I coming ?? No its just the way I'm sitting

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting some home improvements done a while back and the big guy was standing there with a can of that foam filler in his hand..

"So, you needing any other holes filled then?"

Mr was literally biting his knuckles looking at me, fighting the urge to state the obvious.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Getting some home improvements done a while back and the big guy was standing there with a can of that foam filler in his hand..

"So, you needing any other holes filled then?"

Mr was literally biting his knuckles looking at me, fighting the urge to state the obvious."

Do you think he knew exactly what he was saying lol?

Some absolute belters on here folks keep them cumming

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Timeless chat up line classic "Do u cum here often?"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

Need a hand up?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *exy gentMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

How do you like your eggs in the morning?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you keep that up there ??

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Getting some home improvements done a while back and the big guy was standing there with a can of that foam filler in his hand..

"So, you needing any other holes filled then?"

Mr was literally biting his knuckles looking at me, fighting the urge to state the obvious.

Do you think he knew exactly what he was saying lol?

Some absolute belters on here folks keep them cumming"

No, I think the big guy was quite innocent and didn't realise Mr is a dirty bastard!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

I'll keep a hold of it for now, I'm bound to be able to fit it in somewhere

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *exy gentMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

Why do you insist on banging the back door

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Getting some home improvements done a while back and the big guy was standing there with a can of that foam filler in his hand..

"So, you needing any other holes filled then?"

Mr was literally biting his knuckles looking at me, fighting the urge to state the obvious.

Do you think he knew exactly what he was saying lol?

Some absolute belters on here folks keep them cumming

No, I think the big guy was quite innocent and didn't realise Mr is a dirty bastard!"

Either way its a classic

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *exydude69Man
over a year ago

Lothian

Made a female colleague laugh while she was drinking a can of juice, causing her to splutter juice everywhere. Told her not to spit but swallow. She spluttered some more laughing.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ornylittlesubWoman
over a year ago

Grangemouth

While waiting to play crazy golf, it was very busy, the woman told us "pick any hole to start"..... to which the dirty fker I was with fell about laughing uncontrollably. I was mortified and she was . Can't take him anywhere.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the gym and the female PT said go on keep pushing!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"While waiting to play crazy golf, it was very busy, the woman told us "pick any hole to start"..... to which the dirty fker I was with fell about laughing uncontrollably. I was mortified and she was . Can't take him anywhere. "

Now how could anyone refuse that offer

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *plfromfifeCouple
over a year ago

levenmouth

Working with pipes there are too many bushes, flanges and nipples all over the place fnar fnar

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay


"Made a female colleague laugh while she was drinking a can of juice, causing her to splutter juice everywhere. Told her not to spit but swallow. She spluttered some more laughing. "

Am sure that there was a poster at the dentist about not swallowing but spitting.

(Maybe it was spit not rinse.)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *utdooryoneMan
over a year ago

Over there

A colleague once told a all girl secondary school headmistress, who was abseiling off a cliff at the time, to lie back and spread her legs wide....

The watching class were suitably amused.

The same year, as an 'innocent' 17 year old, the boss overheard myself and female colleague in the shed discussing whether it was too big to fit, or if a bit of lube would help it fit if I pushed really hard from below...we were fitting a new part to sailing boat, honest...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I was okaying golf with a mate who plays at a high standard. We were on the green and he said to me if you want to get it in the hole you have to stroke it firmly. I nearly wet myself laughing

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you like me to trim your bush....I used to be a gardener..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ullie-kingMan
over a year ago

newmains

Not an innuendo but an abbreviation... I drive a ST diesel .... which in turn is an STD

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

I watched messi come inside a defender last week

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a packaging designer there is no end to fun in the office with the words 'box' and 'flaps'.

"Let me see your box"

"do your flaps open"

Really don't know how I haven't been sacked yet

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

At what point do you compliment some one on their "nice ring"

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/04/18 22:22:35]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have actually said this to someone who stripped off in front of me (at work) and bent over to pick up her clothes. Not knowing where to look I awkwardly complimented her on her jewellery but she thought I was talking about her balloon knot

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *achinescrew001Man
over a year ago

IoW

With a few strokes he had it in the hole. (For the golf minded)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was abseiling to take out a window and haul a big sofa up from ground level and the pretty lady owner asked if what i was doing was dangerous and actually said “I’m not afraid of heights, if you put me in a harness I might be able to help squeezing it in. I looks a bit to thick to slip in easily.”

I really had to wonder if she was one here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *ullie-kingMan
over a year ago

newmains


"I have actually said this to someone who stripped off in front of me (at work) and bent over to pick up her clothes. Not knowing where to look I awkwardly complimented her on her jewellery but she thought I was talking about her balloon knot "

Any jobs going ?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top