FabSwingers.com forum: Hey?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some of my biggest annoyances on this site is when your profile clearly states that you will only reply to folk who have and send a photo in the message or that the have to message something more than 'hey' 'how are you today'.

It's worse when the do both.

I really think that I'm banging my head against the wall.

The point of a first message is to stand out and be original. If you don't put the effort in then it's an indication of what will come.

Is it just me who gets annoyed at this?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps its your age range

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

Demanding pics is something I find more annoying

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple
over a year ago

Falkirk

I agree with Kola.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

perhaps an attention seeking thread

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"Some of my biggest annoyances on this site is when your profile clearly states that you will only reply to folk who have and send a photo in the message or that the have to message something more than 'hey' 'how are you today'.

It's worse when the do both.

I really think that I'm banging my head against the wall.

The point of a first message is to stand out and be original. If you don't put the effort in then it's an indication of what will come.

Is it just me who gets annoyed at this?

Xx"
why not block all males and do your own searches & send the 1st message ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Demanding pics is something I find more annoying"

Not demanding pics not even face pics. But knowing you have them is why I would reply.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"perhaps an attention seeking thread"

No just wondering. I have been on and off this site for years. Was part of a couple at one point too. It seems to happen a lot more now than when I first joined the site when it began.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's worse when the do both.

I really think that I'm banging my head against the wall.

The point of a first message is to stand out and be original. If you don't put the effort in then it's an indication of what will come.

Is it just me who gets annoyed at this?

Xx"

Out of curiosity what would you send as an opening message x

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By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee

It's worse when the do both.

I really think that I'm banging my head against the wall.

The point of a first message is to stand out and be original. If you don't put the effort in then it's an indication of what will come.

Is it just me who gets annoyed at this?

Xx"

Nope, dealing with both this morning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It takes a minute to read someone’s profile, winds me up when men don’t bother. Even more annoying when I ignore their message (well, they ignored my profile!) and then I get abuse. A few times I’ve explained I didn’t reply because they didn’t read my page - and they moan, call me high maintenance and the abuse gets even better.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Out of curiosity what would you send as an opening message x

.... It depends. Its always individual from that person's profile. I will pick up on something they wrote or something in a photo that interests me.

I would never give generic first messages.

I've actually had folk who must have forgotten they messaged me before sending the exact same message as last time. Had a guy who even copied and pasted his profile.

It would be really good to understand it really. I don't know if it's because single guys outnumber single women so they are trying to message as many as they find attractive and it takes too long to individually message?

Maybe I'm wrong but I'd like to know because I know folk can do better than that especially when they like someone.

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By *lydebankMan
over a year ago

glasgow

I agree hun but it’s also a nightmare when you can’t even nesssge as it says outwith age range lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Out of curiosity what would you send as an opening message x

.... It depends. Its always individual from that person's profile. I will pick up on something they wrote or something in a photo that interests me.

I would never give generic first messages.

I've actually had folk who must have forgotten they messaged me before sending the exact same

message as last time. Had a guy who even copied and pasted his profile.

Maybe I'm wrong but I'd like to know because I know folk can do better than that especially when they like someone.

For a guy it’s hard as there is so many on here. Some guys just wanna send an opening message to get a reply and then start chatting properly, with regards to the pics, if you don’t require a pic to be sent with the first message but would like to know if the person has face pics on there profile, then you should maybe state this in your profile, some of us don’t want to just send a face pic on the 1st message for a variety of reasons, (job, privacy etc) I have pics for public view, I have pics for friends only and have private pics which are face pics. We are all here for the same thing, I hope this helps you and should you like to message me please do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Out of curiosity what would you send as an opening message x

.... It depends. Its always individual from that person's profile. I will pick up on something they wrote or something in a photo that interests me.

I would never give generic first messages.

I've actually had folk who must have forgotten they messaged me before sending the exact same message as last time. Had a guy who even copied and pasted his profile.

Maybe I'm wrong but I'd like to know because I know folk can do better than that especially when they like someone.

What was the last opening message you sent out to a single male and out and what would you send us x

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

"Demanding pics is something I find more annoying

Not demanding pics not even face pics. But knowing you have them is why I would reply.

"
clearly states that you will only reply to folk who have and send a photo in the message.

not to get at you but this to me is demanding pics.

For most there is nothing wrong in what you are doing hell a fair percentage do the same as what you are doing.

I mearly commented I find those who demand pics more annoying

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By *eADevilCouple
over a year ago

Blantyre

Its your profile , your body, your free time , and up to you solely the criteria you would like adhered to from any possible meet. Its not demands its your personal criteria for a meet. If guys dont want to follow your requests then nobody makes them message you. Continue deleting and blocking until you have guys that read your profile and act accordingly. Ps you need to check out your age range your on a 99 year old guy only now lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ps you need to check out your age range your on a 99 year old guy only now lol x"

One of the few women looking for an older guy, and I'm too young... I cannot catch a break!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's worse when the do both.

I really think that I'm banging my head against the wall.

The point of a first message is to stand out and be original. If you don't put the effort in then it's an indication of what will come.

Is it just me who gets annoyed at this?

Xx"

You specify you require a face pic or won’t reply but you don’t have a face pic yourself (even though you have a half face pic) - somewhat hypocritical?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it’s frustrating reading many a profile, taking the time to write a decent message then not getting a reply. I’ve gotten sick of it so I’ve given up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Demanding pics is something I find more annoying"

Yup I find this annoying, I regard my privacy highly and don’t share pics, anyone who I do meet for a coffee does so blind, if they wish to send me pics good for them ! Still doesn’t mean I’ll send anything back. Pics can be stolen out of date you name it, and even the hottest looking guys can turn out to be complete assholes

I’d much rather meet someone for a coffee and see how it goes, anyone who puts vanity in such high regard is not going to be my type

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By *atindollTV/TS
over a year ago

edinburgh

I only reply if I feel like replying,like my profile clearly states in caps I'm never available through the week and currently not at all but if still had about 6 messages since I came on asking if I'm free to meet.i tend to read then ignore but if they look nice I'll thank them for the interest and bear them in mind....just cherry pick what you want and ignore the rest.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Its your profile , your body, your free time , and up to you solely the criteria you would like adhered to from any possible meet. Its not demands its your personal criteria for a meet. If guys dont want to follow your requests then nobody makes them message you. Continue deleting and blocking until you have guys that read your profile and act accordingly. Ps you need to check out your age range your on a 99 year old guy only now lol x"

I'm taking the advice from earlier. I'm going to do the first message instead that way I can stop those messages.

But thanks guys will tweak my profile to make it more clearer and not to sound demanding. Xx

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

A reflection on society perhaps where everyone wants it now without putting in much effort . Where a few clicks online brings the item to your door in a day or maybe even a couple of hours . If Amazon done swinging ! ( other online retailers are available ) .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"A reflection on society perhaps where everyone wants it now without putting in much effort . Where a few clicks online brings the item to your door in a day or maybe even a couple of hours . If Amazon done swinging ! ( other online retailers are available ) .

Total reflection on society no one wants to put in much effort quick fixes, if half the guys spent more time chatting to a small number of women rather than messaging everyone and anyone they would probably get laid quicker lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You specify you require a face pic or won’t reply but you don’t have a face pic yourself (even though you have a half face pic) - somewhat hypocritical?"

I did state I have face pictures. Just wanted one in return. I did look back and realised I worded it wrong but I did say I had face pics to use in private.

Also everyone on my friends list see my face pics because I've seen their faces and know who I'm talking to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's worse when the do both.

I really think that I'm banging my head against the wall.

The point of a first message is to stand out and be original. If you don't put the effort in then it's an indication of what will come.

Is it just me who gets annoyed at this?

Xx"

I think you may just need to try and get over yourself.

If you don't like being messaged, use the filters provided.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm taking the advice from earlier. I'm going to do the first message instead that way I can stop those messages.

But thanks guys will tweak my profile to make it more clearer and not to sound demanding. Xx"

What would your opening message be to us x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's worse when the do both.

I really think that I'm banging my head against the wall.

The point of a first message is to stand out and be original. If you don't put the effort in then it's an indication of what will come.

Is it just me who gets annoyed at this?

Xxwhy not block all males and do your own searches & send the 1st message ?"

Agreed

Best way for females

Check n think who interests you and then message who you want

I don't see the fuss, If you get messages from a single guy who doesn't do what you ask from reading your profile then I don't see the problem. It's obviously they don't care so block. SIMPLE

What kola says about girls demanding or wanting a pic then those guys prob won't message so it's up to you to take the initiative and message them to see if you both get on. You both will prob send pics when ready

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oiiiiii. Cough! Cough! But not all guys are here to get laid.

I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks but I ain't on here to get laid. You know this shrinking, you know what I'm like. I'm on for laughs chat n banter, socials, house parties, making friends and if fun happens great if not then it's just more laughs.

I certinally have a fantastic time on here and I'm happy. Just don't do drama or hassle

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"It would be really good to understand it really... ...Maybe I'm wrong but I'd like to know because I know folk can do better than that especially when they like someone."

You’re kind of right if the guys are new. I was overwhelmed when I first looked at this place. Didn’t know how to go about getting started. When rejection rates are high, you then avoid sending a long message that might not even get read.

But, I’ve been here a little longer. Still very, very new, but starting to get an idea about how to message people who I’d like to meet.

My personal opinion on why so many women receive so many shit messages? Their own profiles.

I absolutely understand why it happens. When the ratio is so off, girls start to list their rules to try to put guys off. That leads to a profile with no personality, and just a list of demands. But, all the evidence says that the dickheads ignore the list of demands, and message a dick pic with, “Hey, wanna fuck?” anyway.

Meanwhile, a guy like me, who’s looking for people he can have fun with, which (for me) means more than just a physical attraction, I read your profile and get precisely zero clue about your personality.

I’ve got a bit of chat, I like a laugh, I’ve made the people I’ve met here laugh. But, take a step back, read your own profile and tell me: what would YOU say to you as an opening message? What indication have you given about your personality or sense of humour that gives me, a genuine guy who is willing to put in the effort, something to work with?

It’s the same for so many profiles I read (I lost count some time ago). Fed up of messages that just say, “Wanna fuck?” Write a profile that suggests it’s not the only thing you talk about. Fed up of opening comments about your tits? Post a picture of something else.

The demands for face pics have been covered. I’ve made the mistake of complying with those. Respect my privacy as much as you respect your own.

But, as for all the other demands that women use to make up their profiles, I’ve kinda said it already; if they get ignored, why bother? Why use your profile to list negatives? Paint a positive picture.

(As an aside, and at risk of derailing, the disclaimers at the bottom of some profiles are a hoot. Good luck enforcing them, folks.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would be really good to understand it really... ...Maybe I'm wrong but I'd like to know because I know folk can do better than that especially when they like someone.

But, I’ve been here a little longer. Still very, very new, but starting to get an idea about how to message people who I’d like to meet.

My personal opinion on why so many women receive so many shit messages? Their own profiles.

The demands for face pics have been covered. I’ve made the mistake of complying with those. Respect my privacy as much as you respect your own.

(As an aside, and at risk of derailing, the disclaimers at the bottom of some profiles are a hoot. Good luck enforcing them, folks.)"

Well thought out and articulated post with good points

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Perhaps its your age range

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It goes both ways I guess but it’s still shit :/

Had women message me just saying hey numerous times.

I reply and try and ask questions or keep a conversation flowing but a lot of the time just get short answers back with no effort which seems odd considering they messaged me!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It goes both ways I guess but it’s still shit :/

Had women message me just saying hey numerous times.

I reply and try and ask questions or keep a conversation flowing but a lot of the time just get short answers back with no effort which seems odd considering they messaged me!"

They'll be guys pretending to be women.

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By *ero StressMan
over a year ago

Scotland

It's worse when the do both.

I really think that I'm banging my head against the wall.

The point of a first message is to stand out and be original. If you don't put the effort in then it's an indication of what will come.

Is it just me who gets annoyed at this?

Xx"

Well for me personally I find it dust matter what I put as usually when I look it says message deleted I don't have many public pics I've a few friends only pics which include face pics and I've loads other pics that can also be sent I don't know whether my opening message puts them off or the face I always send a face pic with my opening message but in a way as a single guy here sending the opening message I'm 95% sure I'm not going to get a reply so maybe that reflects in my message I can't send u a message to see what u think as your age range but if u fancy sending me an opening message feel free to and I will reply and include face pic as I always would

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By *ero StressMan
over a year ago

Scotland

Dubiusoutcake very well said I've got to say and we'll put god j wish I could answer like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm happy with hi as a starting point.

I then use my wit instead of my tits to lure them in.

If they can reciprocate..then cha-ching!

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By *eADevilCouple
over a year ago

Blantyre

[Removed by poster at 15/03/18 03:38:12]

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By *ockster69Man
over a year ago

Leven

"I'm happy with hi as a starting point.

I then use my wit instead of my tits to lure them in.

If they can reciprocate..then cha-ching!"

That's quite funny! But to be honest you already had me once I'd looked at your tits! ??????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It goes both ways I guess but it’s still shit :/

Had women message me just saying hey numerous times.

I reply and try and ask questions or keep a conversation flowing but a lot of the time just get short answers back with no effort which seems odd considering they messaged me!"

That just about sums up the quality of conversation you get from single females x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm happy with hi as a starting point.

I then use my wit instead of my tits to lure them in.

If they can reciprocate..then cha-ching!

That's quite funny! But to be honest you already had me once I'd looked at your tits! ??????"

You're right to use all those question marks...my tits aren't on show

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By *oloandsaabWoman
over a year ago

Essex

I'm taking the advice from earlier. I'm going to do the first message instead that way I can stop those messages.

But thanks guys will tweak my profile to make it more clearer and not to sound demanding. Xx

What would your opening message be to us x"

she's not looking for couples so she wouldn't message you so stop asking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm taking the advice from earlier. I'm going to do the first message instead that way I can stop those messages.

But thanks guys will tweak my profile to make it more clearer and not to sound demanding. Xx

What would your opening message be to us x

she's not looking for couples so she wouldn't message you so stop asking

I'm not looking for single females. It was purely hypothetical x

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"I'm not looking for single females. It was purely hypothetical x"

Hypothetically, if I was interested in couples and still in your age bracket, I wouldn’t message you. You say that guys should be a good laugh, while providing no evidence that you’re a good laugh yourselves. You come across as a personality-free zone. I’m sure that’s not the case, but you’re really not selling yourselves well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not looking for single females. It was purely hypothetical x

The OP said her opening message would be based on someones profile out of curiosity I would like to know (just by our profile) what she would message us as an opening message x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not looking for single females. It was purely hypothetical x

Would you change your mind if we were bland boring sycophants like yourself

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"Would you change your mind if we were bland boring sycophants like yourself

I’m not sure what’s sycophantic about my profile, or who you think I’m being sycophantic towards. I’m aware that my profile text isn’t to everyone’s tastes but, since I’ve met people directly off the back of them contacting me to tell me how much they enjoyed reading it, I’m quite happy with it, thanks. x

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Let's keep it civil please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you change your mind if we were bland boring sycophants like yourself

Wasn't talking about your profile x

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"Wasn't talking about your profile x"

Okay, so... what are you talking about? Where have I been a sycophant? To whom?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you change your mind if we were bland boring sycophants like yourself

Wasn't talking about your profile x"

The Op put a thread up about opening messages. Out of curiosity I asked wondered what she would message us by the profile. Someone piped up she wouldn't message you. Fair enough but still none the wiser. You piped up about us being personality free. Fair enough. I'm still none the wiser about what anyone (according to our profile) what they would send. I don't want to meet any of you. Just asking a question based on the thread that the OP started. Its no more complicated than that lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wasn't talking about your profile x

Okay, so... what are you talking about? Where have I been a sycophant? To whom?"

No one in particular x

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"You piped up about us being personality free. Fair enough."

Reading comprehension. I said your profile makes it /look/ that way, which I’m sure is not the case.

It would appear that you’re both posting, without signing off, which makes it hard to follow. Whichever one of you messaged me was the more polite one, I know that much.

Whichever one of me thinks I’m a sycophant, I’d still like to know why.

I’d wager that my point would apply to anyone: I don’t know what ANYONE would say in a message to you, because there’s nothing there to talk about, really. If that’s how you want it, that’s fine, but it’s a bit like me asking for feedback on my face pics.

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"No one in particular x"

Right. Do you know what ‘sycophant’ means?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You piped up about us being personality free. Fair enough.

Reading comprehension. I said your profile makes it /look/ that way, which I’m sure is not the case.

It would appear that you’re both posting, without signing off, which makes it hard to follow. Whichever one of you messaged me was the more polite one, I know that much.

Whichever one of me thinks I’m a sycophant, I’d still like to know why.

Yeah but I didn't ask what your impression of my profile is. I don't care. I wanted to know what the OP would send as a message if she was looking at it. Or you even...what would you send. It was me (mrs) who messaged you.

It was Mr who made the comment about the sycophant x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No one in particular x

Right. Do you know what ‘sycophant’ means?"

I think it means people pleaser x

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By *ubiousOatcakeMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

"Yeah but I didn't ask what your impression of my profile is. I don't care. I wanted to know what the OP would send as a message if she was looking at it."
So... it is okay for you to hijack a thread with your own agenda, but not okay for me to offer an answer?

"I think it means people pleaser x"
Maybe don’t use words you don’t really understand, then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah but I didn't ask what your impression of my profile is. I don't care. I wanted to know what the OP would send as a message if she was looking at it.So... it is okay for you to hijack a thread with your own agenda, but not okay for me to offer an answer?

I think it means people pleaser xMaybe don’t use words you don’t really understand, then."

You didnt answer me tho. You still havent said what your opening message would be to us. I never asked if you liked the profile I asked what an opening message would be. The thread was about messages not if they like the profiles or not or who they would meet

I have no control over what my other half writes. Anything I write I fully understand x

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