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Distance Travelled for a Meet?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This is fresh news and I'm struggling to get my head round it. I have a very good (female) friend whom I've known since childhood and who I look upon effectively as a sister more than anything else, even though we haven't seen each other for ages as she now lives in Fife. We keep in touch via text and e-mail.

I've known for a while that she's on dating sites since she split from her husband (not Fab - more mainstream ones) but when she told me last week she was off to London for the weekend with friends, I never thought any more of it. Until this morning. I got a frantic phone call from her at 7.30am to tell me she was in Glasgow with no money and no bank card.

Turns out she had travelled to London by bus on her own to meet a guy she met online. Never met him before and had only known him online for a few weeks. She says he was perfect gentleman and although she went to bed with him for three nights, he never so much as made an attempt to kiss her. Said he valued her too much as a lady. She has left her bank card wallet in his house by mistake and he wants to come up here next weekend with it to stay at her house. She doesn't want that as she has family at home. I've told her just to report the bank card as lost and deal with anything else separately.

Is it just me or was she taking one hell of a risk and at great expense? Possibly looking at taking another unnecessary mad risk?

I'm not even sure she'll listen to me (just spent 40 minutes on phone to her) but if any ladies have any advice I could give her, it would be much appreciated...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good job she never kept her bus ticket in her purse I guess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why has the guy not posted her belongings up?

Seems very strange!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Good job she never kept her bus ticket in her purse I guess"

So far as I can gather, she kept her bank card in a separate little wallet from bank. Yes, just as well!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why has the guy not posted her belongings up?

Seems very strange!

"

I said that as well. She says he doesn't want to risk them getting lost in post and he's free to travel anyway... Yes, sounds all round strange to me...

Guy could be genuine - I know. But I guess I still can't believe she went all the way to London for what was effectively a blind date...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not blind date if they have been talking online and swapped pictures

Her bus ticket was likely in an email which would be on her phone not in a purse

If they got on well enough for her to stay for 3 days then why is it so strange that he would like to come visit her at her place and returning the belongings is as good a reason as any when you want an excuse to see someone you like

Tbh she is a grown woman and i dont think its any of your business and if you are her friend and she is happy i think you need to just stay out

I couldnt personally be arsed travelling that far for a date or having a long distance relationship ... but thats just me and it works for others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Before jumping to conclusions that he's a creep maybe he wants to bring the bank card up as an excuse because he really likes her and wants to see her again? Let's not forget she has stayed with him for several nights and he's treated her with respect. More likely to attack her if she's on his turf with very few (if any) people who knew her exact whereabouts and with whom.

Of course she's taken a risk but she felt confident enough to do so and she's a grown woman, able to make these decisions for herself. Instead of being condescending and treating her as a child that's done something naughty be non judgemental and listen. She's more likely to discuss things like this before doing them with you if she feels comfortable enough to talk to you, meaning she's less likely to hide what she's doing and put herself at risk.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is also not really any more risk in what she did than a female on here either going to a guys for a meet or having a guy over ... the fact there was more distance involved just means she has a longer bus journey home if she didnt like him is all

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Its not blind date if they have been talking online and swapped pictures

Her bus ticket was likely in an email which would be on her phone not in a purse

If they got on well enough for her to stay for 3 days then why is it so strange that he would like to come visit her at her place and returning the belongings is as good a reason as any when you want an excuse to see someone you like

Tbh she is a grown woman and i dont think its any of your business and if you are her friend and she is happy i think you need to just stay out

I couldnt personally be arsed travelling that far for a date or having a long distance relationship ... but thats just me and it works for others "

Thank you. You make many good points and I guess I'm maybe just being "over protective" of a perceived little sister. I suppose I'm forgetting that she's a 45 year old grown woman and not the little girl I tend to think of. Thanks again for the wake up...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Before jumping to conclusions that he's a creep maybe he wants to bring the bank card up as an excuse because he really likes her and wants to see her again? Let's not forget she has stayed with him for several nights and he's treated her with respect. More likely to attack her if she's on his turf with very few (if any) people who knew her exact whereabouts and with whom.

Of course she's taken a risk but she felt confident enough to do so and she's a grown woman, able to make these decisions for herself. Instead of being condescending and treating her as a child that's done something naughty be non judgemental and listen. She's more likely to discuss things like this before doing them with you if she feels comfortable enough to talk to you, meaning she's less likely to hide what she's doing and put herself at risk. "

Firstly, I would point out that I'm not assuming he's a "creep" - I'm just concerned. That aside, you are right and I have no right to be judgemental. The last thing I would want is to lose contact with or the trust of my long time friend. I guess I do just have to trust in her judgement, support her - and always be there for her if things don't work out. Thanks for your input - appreciated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like a pile of BS, to me. The whole thing.

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By *achinescrew001Man
over a year ago

IoW

I agree with Scarletwitch. The only thing I reckon would have made more sense would ha e been for her to at least let a friend know where she was and how long for and who she was with.... just in case.

I would say she's lucky to have someone she can call on for help. Just give her a couple of pointers if she's gonna do it again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sounds like a pile of BS, to me. The whole thing. "

Don't hold back lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Before jumping to conclusions that he's a creep maybe he wants to bring the bank card up as an excuse because he really likes her and wants to see her again? Let's not forget she has stayed with him for several nights and he's treated her with respect. More likely to attack her if she's on his turf with very few (if any) people who knew her exact whereabouts and with whom.

Of course she's taken a risk but she felt confident enough to do so and she's a grown woman, able to make these decisions for herself. Instead of being condescending and treating her as a child that's done something naughty be non judgemental and listen. She's more likely to discuss things like this before doing them with you if she feels comfortable enough to talk to you, meaning she's less likely to hide what she's doing and put herself at risk.

Firstly, I would point out that I'm not assuming he's a "creep" - I'm just concerned. That aside, you are right and I have no right to be judgemental. The last thing I would want is to lose contact with or the trust of my long time friend. I guess I do just have to trust in her judgement, support her - and always be there for her if things don't work out. Thanks for your input - appreciated."

I didn't just mean you assuming he's a creep, just the whole bandwagon of Fab forums lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I drove to Carlisle to meet a guy I’d only met once before from fab and spent the night Year’s ago when I was first on the site, I don’t think there’s a huge deal in it tbh it’s the way of the world nowadays there’s risks no matter what you do

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge


"Why has the guy not posted her belongings up?

Seems very strange!

I said that as well. She says he doesn't want to risk them getting lost in post and he's free to travel anyway... Yes, sounds all round strange to me...

Guy could be genuine - I know. But I guess I still can't believe she went all the way to London for what was effectively a blind date..."
why folk travel worldwide constantly.

if its because its a female then its a bit patronising.

She is a grown woman able to make her own decisions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Met this exceptional guy in Manchester a few years ago....hotel fun and we had a lovely night out. It was well worth it and... well will admit I was going to the West Midlands anyway to deliver a car!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guys have came from Ireland London and Manchester to meet me

So don't see what the difference is?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So what’s she going to do that’s taking a risk. She said she doesn’t want him to visit her. Tell him to post it back up to her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I travelled to Cork for a meet. It was a fabulous weekend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your friend is an idiot.

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