FabSwingers.com forum: Meeting when you have family commitments.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I know a lot of people here have families and work commitments.

My question to you is how do you work around these, when you don't have a babysitter /someone can't take your shift?

I find that when you can't meet someone at the drop of a hat, the chat goes cold and meeting goes out the window.

So how do you get around that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't

My kids come first and if they are available to come to mine and stay over or want to be with me the day of a meet then they win hands down, every time.

I've never cancelled on anyone but they know before hand that my kids come first, always

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By *issT45Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I only meet on or off line when I'm free; no baby sitting issues anymore but would drop someone if my kids wanted to come visit their old maw in a heart beat ... if someone goes cold on u because they don't consider your priorities then I'd say they weren't worth ur time in the first place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/10/17 11:03:22]

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By *earded blossomCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Family and work always take priority for us... we decided a while ago not to do meets at our home as having young adults in the house it's rarely possible. So for us clubs have became the only option that works for us, if we've made plans to travel to a club and something to do with family came up then the travel plans would get cancelled

K x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My youngest has recently left for uni which frees up some time but my priority is being a carer for my disabled parents as well as working part time in sales. Meets have to come down the pecking order I'm afraid!

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By *exicolaMan
over a year ago

West Lothian

Family first here too. I can only meet with planning or during a work day or something and that's only if work is quiet!

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By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee

Family first, if people have a problem with that then they're not worth my time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" if someone goes cold on u because they don't consider your priorities then I'd say they weren't worth ur time in the first place "

Yeah totally agree,

fuck them, well fuck them as in dont bother with them, not fuck them as in fuck them, well you know what I mean, dont ya

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone is worth meeting they will do when you BOTH can not make you feel you have to when their only free ..so dont try thinkn how you can get round it ..say when you def can and if they go off you then they def wernt meeting in the first place

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I do find that when speaking with other parents, it's a nightmare to try organise a meet.

Sometimes it can be more than a month away for me due to no babysitter etc.

As much as I would like to host at mine. I can't I do find that puts a lot of people off too.

But thank you all. I will take your advice. As it seems not many people are willing to wait.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I do find that when speaking with other parents, it's a nightmare to try organise a meet.

Sometimes it can be more than a month away for me due to no babysitter etc.

As much as I would like to host at mine. I can't I do find that puts a lot of people off too.

But thank you all. I will take your advice. As it seems not many people are willing to wait.

Dont let it annoy you, just cause you cant accom and it puts them off then they again, aint worth it.

The whole point of fun is that you want to enjoy yourself, truly connect and have a right good sexy time and its hard for that to happen when worrying and trying to arrange before hand with the preparation.

Just find the date you know your free and hopefully that someone will be available at the same time.

i;m a single guy who can accom but I dont really want to accom at mine anymore but i will never go in a huff if someone else cant accom, its not what fab is for.

Family life always comes first and so it should. For me my kids are my everything and they are the ones who bring me so much joys, when they dont cancel on me at last minute pmslllllll

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't have to talk to people constantly tho. I go on and chat and if I find them brand new they go on our friends list. Maybe go on and have a chat with them now and again just to see what their up to. When I know I want a meet I'll go onto our friends list and see who's free. If the chat fizzles out then patch them and move onto someone else....if the chat is crap then they are not really for you in the first place x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My kids have all grown up and flown the coop.

However, I now have grandkids and had to recently move in with them when I lost my home and became bankrupt.

I am now a full time granda so I cannot accom however, arranging a meet away from home is done out with babysitting duties

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I do find that when speaking with other parents, it's a nightmare to try organise a meet.

Sometimes it can be more than a month away for me due to no babysitter etc.

As much as I would like to host at mine. I can't I do find that puts a lot of people off too.

But thank you all. I will take your advice. As it seems not many people are willing to wait.

If people are not willing to wait then they are not for me!

Family and work take priority. When diary says 'free' that's when I will meet.

I always say to people I chat to that if something comes up with my boys I would have to cancel, that it rarely happens but they know the score.

Same when I have a social, I apologise and say if my phone goes, I have to check. I have a tone for them.

Just do what works for you. Don't worry about the impatient ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have the exact same problem. A daughter with issues that means I can't specify free time. No back up carers ..I'm always honest with guys and if they are happy to wait then great, but I'm not going to worry about those who get nasty...

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By *oanne_MacTV/TS
over a year ago

Perth

If their not willing to arrange a meet at a time your commitments allow you to be free...

Then their not worth meeting.

I have pretty limited time due to work and taking my kids. If someone starts chatting to me about meeting and I'm interested then I tell them it'll have to fit in around my availability, if that's not ok with them then their free to fuck off and look elsewhere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Between being parents and living so far away from any major cities or towns, we struggle alot too. We're back to Glasgow together in January and are already trying to start the process of possible meets/socials or a visit to CJs. Not ideal but family life comes before anything else.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all.

I will definitely take this advice on board. Especially with adding to friends list and seeing who is free when I am.

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By *dmirationMan
over a year ago

Bathgate

If People cant except your commitments what ever they may be then they are not worth knowing "BLOCK" Have noticed over the years people can be very selfish on here and expect people to drop things on command.. yes ok I will take a day off work just for you or I will Lock my kids up so I can meet you.. Dont think so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to let everyone know, think I'm free on the 29th of January 2019 between 2am and 5am

just saying like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to let everyone know, think I'm free on the 29th of January 2019 between 2am and 5am

just saying like

Fuckin lollllllll x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to let everyone know, think I'm free on the 29th of January 2019 between 2am and 5am

just saying like

Fuckin lollllllll x"

Depressingly accurate for us

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just to let everyone know, think I'm free on the 29th of January 2019 between 2am and 5am

just saying like

Hahah. Same lol. In fact maybe 2020 I am free.

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By *ID 123456Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

If a person can't wait or work around your private life ,then they are not worth the time and effort to meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/10/17 17:05:03]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We understand perfectly. In fact we've only been able to attend one social as it is. Add to that wanting to take things slow and poof, any chance of meeting vanishes...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to let everyone know, think I'm free on the 29th of January 2019 between 2am and 5am

just saying like

I should have added:

Only a Social though, the sexual fun will be in 21st august 2019 between the time of 1.34am and 1.41am.

Perfect time, I can't wait till all the messages/mail fly in, however will I choose

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By *oanne_MacTV/TS
over a year ago

Perth

"Just to let everyone know, think I'm free on the 29th of January 2019 between 2am and 5am

just saying like

I should have added:

Only a Social though, the sexual fun will be in 21st august 2019 between the time of 1.34am and 1.41am.

Perfect time, I can't wait till all the messages/mail fly in, however will I choose

7 minutes, take it you're a repeater?

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By *erigoodMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Hey it’s a part of life easy sed tho unless your meets going to pay your wage that day and sort out a sitter lol , it’s same if meets are arranged and somthing pops up then meets need to be cancelled it happens, if they take a huff not worth the hassle the real ones shine through

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

No brainier, no sitter don’t go out couldn’t care less if the chat dries up this is an additional part of life not the main part.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If someone doesn't understand that the "real world" and responsibilities come first then they're not the kind of person I want to meet!

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By *exy gentMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

Totally agree with family first, it's a no brainer.

I'm available when I hit my coffin any takers?

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

If they aint prepared to wait until a time that suits us both then Im going to be put off meeting them pretty quickly.

I had one or two last year who couldnt understand why I couldnt meet at the drop of a hat when Id already explained to them that my mum was very ill,I didnt meet them then and wouldnt meet them now .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Both my Daughters are young adults now, both married and both with family.

They only have to call for the simplest thing and I will be there for them no matter what.

They lost their mother due to an illness and come hell or high water I will all I could just to see them smile

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By *rscotsdudeMan
over a year ago

angus

Like most on this thread I have kids that come first.

On a slightly different note, what excuses do people use if they have a meet,social going to a club ect!? Like most, we have only so many babysitting privileges we can use. Often mostly family members that have our kids so can't just say we are going out without a good reason! Just curious as some couples seem to be free for meets alot and im sure they have kids, I don't know how they have the time and what excuses they use!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I explain when first chatting there's no way I can meet at a drop of a hat and my family, commitments always comes first!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I explain when first chatting there's no way I can meet at a drop of a hat and my family, commitments always comes first! "

its best to get everything out in the open straight away.

I tell the girls before a meet, no anal, well for the first 47 minutes

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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

Someone once told me they where invited around to a couoles house. When asked about the kids they said "dont worry we put a chest of drawers in frony of their room door so they cany get ouy".

I hope it wasnt true, unfortunatley I suspect its very true

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By *eeling hot hot hotCouple
over a year ago

Ardrossan

Go to cjs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My family commitments are few and far between thankfully, and my child knows about fab.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Go to cjs

I have never been to cjs. Don't want to go alone lol. Kinda want to go with a newbie like myself. So am not sticking out like a sore thumb.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got kids. Meet when I can. Always tell ppl this and I work so juggle it all. I do make exceptions for some if I know them really well. Rarely have ppl at my house unless all kids are away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go to cjs

I have never been to cjs. Don't want to go alone lol. Kinda want to go with a newbie like myself. So am not sticking out like a sore thumb.

"
.

I got with u lass if we get the time n dates matching

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/11/17 11:08:50]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Go to cjs

Why

That's s a club scene and a lot dnt want the cub scene.

I don't want to be amoung people I don't know where many want to play. Not saying all want to play but I like it at my own pace, whatever that may be on the night. Not saying OP is the same, she might like it.

But at least the OP knows that, CJ"s won't cancel but imagine arranging to go, kids arranged with babysitter, time off next day and then everyone at cjs don't interest yiu then what a waste. At least the OP trusts her instincts with the one she's been chatting, connection etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like most on this thread I have kids that come first.

You have a life. I wouldn't think you need to explain where your going.

But a night out with pals, a birthday celebration, "works do" where yiu gave to show face etc..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our kids are still pretty young and we are very limited for babysitters. No way in hell would I have someone I met on here over to the house as they're sleeping upstairs. Mr D isn't into the idea of a club so at the moment the options are The Premier Inn or Tesco car park!

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