FabSwingers.com forum: Dom/Sub Relations

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

OK, so not sure what advice ill get on here but I am prepared for the shit-storm of useless comments but I am hoping to at least get one or two genuine replies.

So I have a bit of a dilemma, I have been in dom / sub relationships for a number of years and consider myself pretty experienced.

I have started seeing this fantastic girl, we have been chatting for a while and got talking because of our mutual interests in Dom/Sub relations.

Recently things took a massive upwards swing, as we met after a good few months of chatting. it was electric, it was amazing, no other words to describe it. Honestly, I have never connected with anyone on an emotional / mental level as I have with her.

We have hooked up a couple of times and it was great, nothing too extreme in terms of domination, but enough to wet the appetite and leaving us both wanting more. I have never been reluctant with any previous partners to progress to more extreme domination, but with her, I am feeling some sort of apprehension / caution and I am looking to see if firstly, this is a common thing when you connect this deeply with this, and also, what advice you would give?

Like I said, not looking for useless information.

Answers on a postcard or in fact, id prefer you to message me personally.

Thanks =)

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By *oney4uCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Maybe because you've had a much more emotional connection than before it feels different to normal?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That is definitely the case, before it was mostly based on mutual likes, so dom / sub, but with her it is a connection like I have never felt before.

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By *FFB69Woman
over a year ago

Torfaen/Gwent

Maybe, in some way, you're reluctant to "dom" someone you have a connection with?

There could be a part of you that doesn't want to *hurt* someone you have such a connection with? If you're emotionally invested in someone it can be hard to seperate the D/S side of things with the more *normal* side of things?

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I think that the best person to talk to and get feedback from is 'her'.

I think that in this type of relationship extensive communication between the Dominant and the submissive is primordial, verbal communication as face to face communication but also body language, learn to read your partner.

The more you talk to her, the more you spend time playing, the better you get to know her and her to know you, giving space to explore the next level.

I think that sometimes the apprehension/caution comes from not knowing the person enough. you said you meet just a few times and yes you have talked for ages but getting to know the physical person is different.

Hope I make sense. Good luck and enjoy OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think that is the case, I have been so used to having that connection between us that is built solely on dom/sub and is mostly physical, don't get me wrong the emotional side of things comes with it.

but with her, because I have built up such an attachment before anything physical it is sending me into a frenzy, it is confusing.

We do talk about everything and very openly and deeply.

I personally think that I am worried because it is new territory for me, and indeed her, we have already spoken about that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having been in this position myself I'd say to just let it go forward organically, don't over think it (easy to say) let things develop . It would be difficult for you to have just a physical dom/sub now that you've gone down the connection route I'd say.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I was in an active dom/sub relationship we set 1 day a week aside for a "normal" day and talked over everything that was on our minds, how we would take things to the next level etc.

As you said you've been a dom for a few years, remember communication is the key

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By *issT45Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Sounds like ur just evolving, people play dom/sub all the time but when u find someone u have a real emotional and mental connection with it takes things to a whole new level, it may be that ur experiences with her change ur sexual direction too or it might even be that old thing called love creeping in, just keep talking, don't over think things and go with the flow .. good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

*whet* the appetite

dom police over and out

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By *aelawMan
over a year ago

Paisley

I thought I'd already responded to this....deja vu :O

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Communication trust and being open to learning about the other person are key factors in making it work ,the only person you should ask is her everyone is different no one can give you advise that needs to come from her as she is the one you are in the dom sub relationship with good luck

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