FabSwingers.com forum: Losing my dad on Wednesday broke me heartbroken how can you deal with it ??????

By *angTidyBum OP Man
over a year ago

hamilton

????????

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By *anny77Man
over a year ago

glasgow

There's no quick solution unfortunately. And it never completely goes. You don't get over it... you come to terms with it.

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Oh mate. I'm sorry to hear this.

I'm afraid everyone is different. They say time is a great healer but unfortunately there is no 'one size fits all' answer.

Talking to someone helps. A lot. It does t have to be a family member. It could be a good friend. Even your GP.

But if for ANY reason you feel things getting on top of you, go talk to your GP as they can point you towards other organizations who can help with your grief.

Good luck OP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happened to me in February. Now have no parents.

All I can really say is

Don't deny it.

Don't fight it.

Don't hide it.

Let it out when it wants out.

Talk about it.

Time lessens the pain but the good memories remain as strong as ever.

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By *angTidyBum OP Man
over a year ago

hamilton

"Oh mate. I'm sorry to hear this.

I'm afraid everyone is different. They say time is a great healer but unfortunately there is no 'one size fits all' answer.

Talking to someone helps. A lot. It does t have to be a family member. It could be a good friend. Even your GP.

But if for ANY reason you feel things getting on top of you, go talk to your GP as they can point you towards other organizations who can help with your grief.

Good luck OP"

Thanks seriously mean a lot

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By *angTidyBum OP Man
over a year ago

hamilton

"It happened to me in February. Now have no parents.

All I can really say is

Don't deny it.

Don't fight it.

Don't hide it.

Let it out when it wants out.

Talk about it.

Time lessens the pain but the good memories remain as strong as ever."

Thanks m8

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"????????"
sorry for your loss (((big hugs)))

Im grieving myself just now for my wee mum who past away a few months ago.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

There are four stages of bereavement.

1.Accepting that the loss is real.

2.Experiencing the pain of grief.

3.Adjusting to life without the person who has died.

4.Putting less emotional energy into grieving and putting it into something new (in other words moving on)

You will go through all these stages and come out the other side being able to cope somehow .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So sorry to hear this. We all have our own way of dealing with grief..Take each day as it comes.xx

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By *ot - CoupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

You can always phone Breathing Space and talk to someone.

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By *heesyheadbandMan
over a year ago

Glenrothes

it's sad to see someone go but you can't let it break you, it's inevitable, every single one of us is going to die someday wither you like it or not lol

the sooner people can accept that the sooner they be able to deal with grief better.

i lost my father a long time ago, didn't really put me up or down, it's part of life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry too hear of your loss.

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By *appy 2 lickMan
over a year ago

lanarkshire

Sorry to hear about your loss my father passed away a year ago yesterday and it's my mum's 26th anniversary tomorrow the 16th so know how you feel

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

the sooner people can accept that the sooner they be able to deal with grief better.

"
I think were all aware of that but I guess it depends on the bond you had with the person you've lost.

The Grief we have when we lose a child or a parent is totally different to that of say a distant aunt/uncle or cousin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's always hard to lose someone you love but death is a natural part of life and grief is a natural part of healing... be kind to yourself and slowly you will remember the good times with happiness xXx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear of your loss.

Think of a pastime or sport that your dad done, maybe take it up on a Wednesday. Turn a negative into a positive. Easy said than done. Hope you feel better soon.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends on the circumstances, a sudden death or a long illness.

There's no time limit to grief, I for sure am still grieving for my dad 14yrs later.

Still no memories make me smile but that's down to the circumstances behind his passing.

Cry, scream or do what makes the feeling subside for a bit. But take time to heal in your time, not what others think is a suitable time frame.

Bless ya x

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By *litter and GrumpCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

I know how ur feeling lost my dad when I was young and my mum past away last month. There is no quick fix just need to take every day as it comes. If u want to chat feel free to send us a wee message xx

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Sorry to hear that OP.

We are all different. Take the time you need, don't try to push things, the grieving process is different depending on the person, relationship you had and the circumstances.

It is still very raw. Give yourself time, talk to family and friends and if you feel the need ask your gp if you want to chat to someone with no connection to you.

((Big hugs)) x

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By *angTidyBum OP Man
over a year ago

hamilton

"????????sorry for your loss (((big hugs)))

Im grieving myself just now for my wee mum who past away a few months ago.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

There are four stages of bereavement.

1.Accepting that the loss is real.

2.Experiencing the pain of grief.

3.Adjusting to life without the person who has died.

4.Putting less emotional energy into grieving and putting it into something new (in other words moving on)

You will go through all these stages and come out the other side being able to cope somehow .

Thanks seriously mean a lot

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By *angTidyBum OP Man
over a year ago

hamilton

Thanks everyone for taking the time to message seriously mean a lot bless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Heartbreaking buddy but what I find lovely is how people on here always step up with nice messages I'm close to my dad he is fit and strong the thought of looking him shivers hope you find your way bud

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only time heals grief.

Sorry for your loss

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By *iss xWoman
over a year ago

hamilton

Sorry to hear your sad news . Hugs xxxx

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By *andy_FraserTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I've been through the loss of both of my parents. So know what sorta feelings you have.

The following quote was actually about losing a dog, but it's relevant to family too;

“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Mandy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear that.

As others said don't bottle it up, talk to your friends/other family laugh when you want cry when you want just let it out

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By *exy gentMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

Sorry to hear of your loss

My mum died a year ago, 3 days after I took my family to Disney world resort in America, had to keep going f and say nothing, was hard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"????????"

Cherish the memories within your heart... he will always be with you.... he will have your back always.... but most of all remember he walks with you just a few steps behind... we all grieve differently but know you can xhat here anytime x hugs for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Big hugs,x x

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By *iceguy 1966Man
over a year ago

in pa postcode

PM me is all i will say i will help you through this journey

I will do this over email or one to one mate.

I will let you heal your pain as they are never away but just in your thoughts and i can help you my friend

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By *evkdyMan
over a year ago

Kirkcaldy

Sorry for your loss fella,

It's important to talk, I had a bereavement some time ago that hit me hard. Got myself to a bereavement councillor. Best thing I ever did, my best mate was there for me as well.

He helped in ways only a mate can.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Take the time to grieve. If you don't just now it will hit you later.

There are no sure fire coping mechanisms and we all do it our own way.

I feel for you

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By *angTidyBum OP Man
over a year ago

hamilton

Thank you everyone for your kind words

A cared for him 24/7 for 2 years he was bed bound with MS witch he had for 42 years he was a fight laid him to rest yesterday broke my heart so sad a fell in a heep on the ground couldn't handle it

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By *angTidyBum OP Man
over a year ago

hamilton

"I know how ur feeling lost my dad when I was young and my mum past away last month. There is no quick fix just need to take every day as it comes. If u want to chat feel free to send us a wee message xx"

A would love to thanks finding it hard to talk to someone close just can't do that a will definitely pm your appreciated

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By *iking68Man
over a year ago

glasgow

im so sorry for your loss ...thoughts and prayers go out to you mate ...all I can say you will learn to deal with it ...it will be a long road and heart breaking but in time you will be able to deal with it ..

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By *angTidyBum OP Man
over a year ago

hamilton

Thanks everyone god bless

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By *e_frenchMan
over a year ago

edinburgh

All my thoughts are with you man...

It feels silly I have no word for that. Do not be scared to get help from councillor or psychologist.

It is taught and it helps to speak about it and get it out of your chest...

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

First year is the hardest especially birthdays, Christmas and New Year. Everyone copes differently and some quicket than others.

I still miss my Dad even after 11 years.

As others have said there’s no shame in going for counselling. Hope you’re ok.

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By *entlemanj63Man
over a year ago

dundee

Hi ,

Sorry for your loss .

I lost my dad 5 yrs ago , the pain of that day never leaves you , as a previous poster said you come to terms with it .

I get peace by talking to my dad either in my head or vocally when I am alone , on his Remembrance Day , birthday, Father’s Day I go to the crematorium with a half bottle of whisky pour half of it in the ground and drink the rest , sharing a drink with him and talking .

It’s easy for others to say it gets easier but the pain never leaves you ,

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