FabSwingers.com forum: Becoming too attached

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

That's the problem with me- I can't just have sex without any emotions. I need to really like the guy. I'm kind of in the middle group as I don't use or desire a conventional dating site as I genuinely don't want a serious relationship, yet I can't have great sex without being fond of someone! That is why most of.my meets are social

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sorry that header phrase is.misleading. I don't become too attached to most folk on here and none I have.met socially but if I get as far as the bedroom it is because I have built up a rapport and like the person!

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Sorry that header phrase is.misleading. I don't become too attached to most folk on here and none I have.met socially but if I get as far as the bedroom it is because I have built up a rapport and like the person!"

Glad you clarified that heading lol

I know what you mean! I am the same.

For me... There needs to be chemistry both physical and intellectual in the sense that we actually have something to speak about during play meets.

Yes! I do have chatty chatty moments during a play meet and some people don't need that or don't understand that.

Someone you connect physically and can have a laugh with.

I need to 'connect' with someone to play with them.

Sex with no connection is not fun at all for me. Am not into mechanical sex.

Hope this makes sense and that i understood what you meant lol

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By *r and Mrs SnogalotCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

I know what you mean, to me Mr S, sex although classed as a bodily function is generally not something that can I be ready for with someone in an instant unless I have, as you both have mentioned, some sort of chemistry with them be it having a laugh with, intellectual or just in general fun and lustable with.

I've seen myself being offered it on a plate so to speak and just not felt it so couldn't go through with it.

Unfortunately I may go against the grain when it comes to the 'normal' guy on FAB who are generally all horn dogs

Mr S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been tempted to write, 'I'd like to make friends too and if they come with benefits, then cool' on my profile...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope

If I fancy the guy and he's funny

I'm in

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Nope

If I fancy the guy and he's funny

I'm in

You mean... he's in lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

I have to agree with Oldie .... I have a husband we have a connection. Yes we need to get and be able to have a chat etc but that's it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/04/17 16:22:52]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have to admit I much prefer to get to know people before any fun happens, with chats, messages, laughs, socials.

Don't get me wrong, I have had one night s_ands but I still need a rapport between us .

But I can become attached as I have many wonderful friends but I do know where the 'attached line' is and I will not cross it

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

I prefer to play with people I consider friends too. I think it makes meets more fun and relaxed which then in turn makes them more enjoyable.

That being said, I've never become too attatched but I do have one or two ladies who I've become really good friends with and we are there for each other.

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"I have to agree with Oldie .... I have a husband we have a connection. Yes we need to get and be able to have a chat etc but that's it x"

But then I think it's different for couples. They already have the emotional side as they have each other.

Some singles feel they need that and it can scare a lot of potential meets off.

It's finding the middle ground but as you said, you still need to like the people you play with first.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Ive actually lernt over the years that to have good sex doesnt always mean you need to have chemistry or a connection to the person.

Yes my preference is for nawty fun with a regular playmate and friend but ive had some amazing times with one off meets too

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By *imited 3EditionCouple
over a year ago

Live in Scotland Play in England

Glad you clarified that heading lol

I know what you mean! I am the same.

For me... There needs to be chemistry both physical and intellectual in the sense that we actually have something to speak about during play meets.

Yes! I do have chatty chatty moments during a play meet and some people don't need that or don't understand that.

Someone you connect physically and can have a laugh with.

I need to 'connect' with someone to play with them.

Sex with no connection is not fun at all for me. Am not into mechanical sex.

Hope this makes sense and that i understood what you meant lol

I totally agree with all of this. Its where I started off on this site but some experiences at clubs have since shown me that I don't necessarily always need that. And that was a bit of a surprise.

Having said that my first instinct is still always to want some kind of intellectual connection at the very least. Or is that just wishful thinking

Sara

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Absolutely agree, if they cannot hold a decent intelligent conversation then we are not interested.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Glad you clarified that heading lol

I know what you mean! I am the same.

For me... There needs to be chemistry both physical and intellectual in the sense that we actually have something to speak about during play meets.

Yes! I do have chatty chatty moments during a play meet and some people don't need that or don't understand that.

Someone you connect physically and can have a laugh with.

I need to 'connect' with someone to play with them.

Sex with no connection is not fun at all for me. Am not into mechanical sex.

Hope this makes sense and that i understood what you meant lol

Thanks

I honestly think sex is pointless without a great connection. I thought I had met someone like this on fab then quickly realised he wanted to play with any female he could!

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

"I have to agree with Oldie .... I have a husband we have a connection. Yes we need to get and be able to have a chat etc but that's it x

But then I think it's different for couples. They already have the emotional side as they have each other.

Some singles feel they need that and it can scare a lot of potential meets off.

It's finding the middle ground but as you said, you still need to like the people you play with first. "

Absolutely.... over the years we have experienced both. Chatted to a bloke for a good few years (yes years) had great chemistry on-line and the actual sex when we did get round to it was ok but probably not what either of us thought it would be. On the other hand we messaged a single guy one night was at his house within the hour had some small talk and the sex was fantastic.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was thinking back to when I was in my 20s long before fab and I did have quite a few one night s_ands with guys which seemed a good idea at the time but looking back it was within a lonely period of my life when I was living away

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I prefer to play with people I consider friends too. I think it makes meets more fun and relaxed which then in turn makes them more enjoyable.

That being said, I've never become too attatched but I do have one or two ladies who I've become really good friends with and we are there for each other.

That sounds great. I need to find another good friend! I do have one at the moment but he is veering towards preferring mm experiences

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"I prefer to play with people I consider friends too. I think it makes meets more fun and relaxed which then in turn makes them more enjoyable.

That being said, I've never become too attatched but I do have one or two ladies who I've become really good friends with and we are there for each other.

That sounds great. I need to find another good friend! I do have one at the moment but he is veering towards preferring mm experiences"

You just have to do what's best for you

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Glad you clarified that heading lol

I know what you mean! I am the same.

For me... There needs to be chemistry both physical and intellectual in the sense that we actually have something to speak about during play meets.

Yes! I do have chatty chatty moments during a play meet and some people don't need that or don't understand that.

Someone you connect physically and can have a laugh with.

I need to 'connect' with someone to play with them.

Sex with no connection is not fun at all for me. Am not into mechanical sex.

Hope this makes sense and that i understood what you meant lol

Thanks

I honestly think sex is pointless without a great connection. I thought I had met someone like this on fab then quickly realised he wanted to play with any female he could!"
But the whole point of being on a swingers site is to swing with different partners not just one

You can still have a regular thing going with a playmate and swing with others too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad you clarified that heading lol

I know what you mean! I am the same.

For me... There needs to be chemistry both physical and intellectual in the sense that we actually have something to speak about during play meets.

Yes! I do have chatty chatty moments during a play meet and some people don't need that or don't understand that.

Someone you connect physically and can have a laugh with.

I need to 'connect' with someone to play with them.

Sex with no connection is not fun at all for me. Am not into mechanical sex.

Hope this makes sense and that i understood what you meant lol

Thanks

I honestly think sex is pointless without a great connection. I thought I had met someone like this on fab then quickly realised he wanted to play with any female he could!But the whole point of being on a swingers site is to swing with different partners not just one

You can still have a regular thing going with a playmate and swing with others too

Agreed !

As long as the other regular knows and is totally happy wit this

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Glad you clarified that heading lol

I know what you mean! I am the same.

For me... There needs to be chemistry both physical and intellectual in the sense that we actually have something to speak about during play meets.

Yes! I do have chatty chatty moments during a play meet and some people don't need that or don't understand that.

Someone you connect physically and can have a laugh with.

I need to 'connect' with someone to play with them.

Sex with no connection is not fun at all for me. Am not into mechanical sex.

Hope this makes sense and that i understood what you meant lol

Thanks

You can still have a regular thing going with a playmate and swing with others too

Agreed !

As long as the other regular knows and is totally happy wit this

"
yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If there's a physical attraction and your only looking for sex...Surely that's all that's needed?

Lol

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"If there's a physical attraction and your only looking for sex...Surely that's all that's needed?

Lol"

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Glad you clarified that heading lol

I know what you mean! I am the same.

For me... There needs to be chemistry both physical and intellectual in the sense that we actually have something to speak about during play meets.

Yes! I do have chatty chatty moments during a play meet and some people don't need that or don't understand that.

Someone you connect physically and can have a laugh with.

I need to 'connect' with someone to play with them.

Sex with no connection is not fun at all for me. Am not into mechanical sex.

Hope this makes sense and that i understood what you meant lol

I totally agree with all of this. Its where I started off on this site but some experiences at clubs have since shown me that I don't necessarily always need that. And that was a bit of a surprise.

Having said that my first instinct is still always to want some kind of intellectual connection at the very least. Or is that just wishful thinking

Sara "

I know what you mean with the Club experiences.

However, in my experiences, I have not (so far) deviated from my original statement above.

If I go to a Club and no one takes my fancy, I am happy to socialise and not play.

Everyone's body and mind connection is different.

Some people are wired differently

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"If there's a physical attraction and your only looking for sex...Surely that's all that's needed?

Lol"

Yes but not with someone who is so boring they could make watching paint dry exciting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I did say if he can make me laugh

But...I really don't need to know someone's life story to want to have sex with someone

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By *r Costa xxMan
over a year ago

stirling

"I did say if he can make me laugh

But...I really don't need to know someone's life story to want to have sex with someone

Change the he to she and I'll say the same

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By *atmanhMan
over a year ago

bellshill

Intellectual connection makes the physical better in my opinion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm all for connection before sex it makes it sooo much better, series, hotter than mechanical sex....id rather go without if there was not connection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer a connection too

I like to be fucked then have a chat and a kiss and a cuddle then fucked again

Hard to find a regular fb on fab

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By *atmanhMan
over a year ago

bellshill

Chat and connect helps each other with likes/dislikes. Makes it easier to know how to give pleasure than fumbling around. And regular makes things more comfortable and more likely to explore

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

If it takes time to meet that special one fair enough. I'm prepared to wait and in the.meantime be.open to social and kink meets but sex will only follow if there is a massive attraction as well as knowing it will probably develop into a regular thing.

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By *r Costa xxMan
over a year ago

stirling

"If it takes time to meet that special one fair enough. I'm prepared to wait and in the.meantime be.open to social and kink meets but sex will only follow if there is a massive attraction as well as knowing it will probably develop into a regular thing. "

So is a kink meet with or without sex? Slightly confused

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So is a kink meet with or without sex? Slightly confused

Kink meet for me involves tying up, spanking, Dom, heavy bondage, gagging, whipping etc and humiliation. And yep I only give! And it is just fun without the sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather just say hello n shag then say maybe next time...

*adding I like cuddly fun sex etc of course

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer to have a connection first. Like to chat and get to know personality and likes etc before jumping in the sack.

Doesn't necessarily have to be a social meet first if feel had connection from chatting prior.

I get nervous with meeting new folk so if connection there it helps the nerves and I can enjoy myself more.

Love having chat/ fun/ spoon/ laugh n giggle then more fun and a cuddle nothing better xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I actually don't see.myself having sex for a long time with fabbers...It is not easy to find the right guy who feels the same

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