FabSwingers.com forum: Insult the best of the best

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What is the best insult you have ever heard ..

Yesterday I heard that my friend "has had so much cock, her fanny needs border control ..."

I probably will be considered cruel, but I haven't stopped laughing since yesterday . Fair brought me out my funky mood.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are as useful as a knitted condom.

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By *earded villainMan
over a year ago

edinburgh

i wouldnt ride you into battle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have a great body shame about the face

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i wouldnt ride you into battle "
1 of my favorites

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By *tew1985Man
over a year ago

Near You

Body off Baywatch, face off crime watch.

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By *tew1985Man
over a year ago

Near You

I would call you a fanny but you lack the depth and warmth.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Seriously is that it

Is it in yet ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That ugly not even the tide would take you out

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"That ugly not even the tide would take you out

"
not heard that one but I like it lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"i wouldnt ride you into battle "

Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're like ready salted crisps

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She's a real skip rat, everyone knows where she's been and no one really wants to touch her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I received this yesterday from a troll i dont know or have spoken too. Quite creative

"You look like a diseased riden fat bastard that would only look good in a morgue please you and the other fatties just die"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I received this yesterday from a troll i dont know or have spoken too. Quite creative

"You look like a diseased riden fat bastard that would only look good in a morgue please you and the other fatties just die" "

Creative. But absolute rubbish. You look fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ass so fat you can see it from the front

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By *earded villainMan
over a year ago

edinburgh

"I received this yesterday from a troll i dont know or have spoken too. Quite creative

"You look like a diseased riden fat bastard that would only look good in a morgue please you and the other fatties just die" "

what a pleasant chap . im staggered that your knickers didnt drop off and you where over come by desire to ride him after that.

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By *earded villainMan
over a year ago

edinburgh

her fanny looked like an axe wound in a gorillas back

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By *e gentle 100Woman
over a year ago

Bathgate

"What is the best insult you have ever heard ..

Yesterday I heard that my friend "has had so much cock, her fanny needs border control ..."

I probably will be considered cruel, but I haven't stopped laughing since yesterday . Fair brought me out my funky mood."

Get it right EagerBeaver2000, person said, "I've had so many foreigners that my fanny needs border control" wonder if she was there counting and watching pmsl. Needless to say it's the best ever I've heard, maybe I should see if border control is squatting in my puss puss, meow meow

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What is the best insult you have ever heard ..

Yesterday I heard that my friend "has had so much cock, her fanny needs border control ..."

I probably will be considered cruel, but I haven't stopped laughing since yesterday . Fair brought me out my funky mood.

"
I was attempting to give a degree of anonymity fudd.Wasnt wanting to bring a racist tone.. I haven't felt depressed all day ..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I received this yesterday from a troll i dont know or have spoken too. Quite creative

"You look like a diseased riden fat bastard that would only look good in a morgue please you and the other fatties just die" "
what a dick , obviously a small one also. Xoxo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fanny like a bull dog eating mayonnaise!

She was a Kronenburg girl;

16 from the back, 64 from the front

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I received this yesterday from a troll i dont know or have spoken too. Quite creative

"You look like a diseased riden fat bastard that would only look good in a morgue please you and the other fatties just die"

Creative. But absolute rubbish.

You look fab"

thank you kind Sir

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By *e gentle 100Woman
over a year ago

Bathgate

"What is the best insult you have ever heard ..

Yesterday I heard that my friend "has had so much cock, her fanny needs border control ..."

I probably will be considered cruel, but I haven't stopped laughing since yesterday . Fair brought me out my funky mood.

I was attempting to give a degree of anonymity fudd.Wasnt wanting to bring a racist tone.. I haven't felt depressed all day ..

It was the person that said it who is racist and very deluded, I did laugh too as it's the best insult ever lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I received this yesterday from a troll i dont know or have spoken too. Quite creative

"You look like a diseased riden fat bastard that would only look good in a morgue please you and the other fatties just die"

Creative. But absolute rubbish.

You look fab

thank you kind Sir

You're of course very welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your pretty hot for a fat burd

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when you were born you were that ugly the doctor picked you up and slapped your mother.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your that old even your holes haunted lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So ugly your mum tied a bone round your neck so the dog would play with you...

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By *leasure domMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Her mission in life is to provide a warm berth to passing sailors

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By *overocketoneMan
over a year ago

aberdeen

"I received this yesterday from a troll i dont know or have spoken too. Quite creative

"You look like a diseased riden fat bastard that would only look good in a morgue please you and the other fatties just die"

Creative. But absolute rubbish.

You look fab

thank you kind Sir

"
I saw that bloody awful .That person needs help

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She may never have been married but she has had plenty honeymoons

(Said my granny many many years ago about a neighbour)

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By *lder for funxxxMan
over a year ago

glasgow

only thing you are fit for is your coffin,i did send a nice reply back being a gent.

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By *lder for funxxxMan
over a year ago

glasgow

should have added to my last,she was 56 looking for guys between 50 and 72.ha ha.

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By *he ODBMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Seen some pics on these sites that make the human centipede look like a conga at butlins .

This was actually said by a friend about his brothers new gf (now ex) who he thought had cheated :

I get it , he's at an age where looks are less important . He'll settle for a fat slut that cooks, cleans and does dishes . Problem is his fat slut neither cooks, cleans or does dishes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seen some pics on these sites that make the human centipede look like a conga at butlins .

This was actually said by a friend about his brothers new gf (now ex) who he thought had cheated :

I get it , he's at an age where looks are less important . He'll settle for a fat slut that cooks, cleans and does dishes . Problem is his fat slut neither cooks, cleans or does dishes.

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

My friend told a guy he was so ugly the tide wouldn't even take him out

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By *omaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

[Removed by poster at 20/04/17 14:43:37]

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By *omaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I wouldn't kiss you under anaesthetic never mind mistletoe!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aww your sweet can we just be friends

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy I knows wife finally flipped on him and said she wanted a divorce.

Bob replied 'Good, tell your old man I want my fucking cows back then' having paid a pre-nuptial dowry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My good friend being told on fab when she displayed her face pic that she had a "face like a well skelped arse"

Charming eh? But speak volumes about many of the.toxic,nasty characters on fab.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

two favs of mine....

"Fuck you is like opening the window and fucking the night" & "Shagging you is like punching smoke"

Lastly, "when she ran she whistled"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She's had more cock ends than weekends

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By *atmanhMan
over a year ago

bellshill

Like chucking a wellie up a close

Looks like his face was set on fire and put out with a golf shoe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Said by my English teacher in reference to bringing in your homework on a an unformatted floppy disk but also very applicable to people in situations.

I use it at work to discipline other chefs for example:

"Well that's about as useful as a used condom"

Can obviously substitute "that's" for "your" to make it person specific appose to action

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I received this yesterday from a troll i dont know or have spoken too. Quite creative

"You look like a diseased riden fat bastard that would only look good in a morgue please you and the other fatties just die"

Creative. But absolute rubbish.

You look fab

thank you kind Sir

I saw that bloody awful .That person needs help"

I do wander at the troll mentality

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By *earded villainMan
over a year ago

edinburgh

im no daying he/she was ugly but tbey could eat an apple through a tennis racket .

looked like they had been dooking for chips

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By *riendly foeWoman
over a year ago

In a crisp poke on the A814

"I received this yesterday from a troll i dont know or have spoken too. Quite creative

"You look like a diseased riden fat bastard that would only look good in a morgue please you and the other fatties just die" "

So...when you meeting??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

when hell freezes over

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By *earded blossomCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

I've just got some puppy fat..... yeah bitch a litter of 12

John

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She's got a fanny like a clowns pocket.

It would be like shaking a pencil in a cave.

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

"She's got a fanny like a clowns pocket.

In a similar vein, a wizard's sleeve.

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By *he ODBMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Fanny was hanging like a junkies curtains

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By *onkersMan
over a year ago

livingston

a face like a bulldog licking piss of a thistle

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By *ourneboyMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh/glasgow / London

She has had more pricks than a second hand dart board

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He was built like a midgees hard on

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By *ickeyo85Man
over a year ago

ayrshire

My mate describing a girl from across the street 'that chick over there has a butter face'

Me: 'what do you mean'

My mate: 'she has fine legs, cracking arse, lovely set of tits. Everything is perfect butter face'.

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By *outhsider69Man
over a year ago

glasgow

Old one, but somehow always makes me laugh.

From a Mickey Rourke movie called Barfly

He's trying to provoke a fight and succeeds, taking a punch in the face. He shrugs it off, smiles back at the other guy and says...

'Your mother's cunt smells of carpet cleaner'

Makes no real sense but still makes me chuckle

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

A fanny like a badly packed kebab

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Some of these insults are fabulous . I'm chuckling away here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hung like a half chewed Nik Nak

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She has seen more helmets than hitler!!

She has a fanny like the back seat of a 70/80s single decker bus that has been ripped open with a Stanley Knife.

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By *PLoversCouple
over a year ago

aberdeenshire

"She had a fanny like a ripped out fireplace"

"He had teeth like a row of condemned houses"

And

"He had a face like a kicked in piece tin" are a few of my favourites. Some crackers in here like haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some belters on here. ..I always liked. ..she's got a fanny like a bill posters bucket or it's like throwing a sausage up a close. ..

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Its like licking a 9 volter

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By *yz69Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

She gets around that much I wouldn't even put your dick in there.

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

I saw yer maws profile on fab. Shes got tits in all the wrong places

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont get insults

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By *yan19Man
over a year ago

NLC

Best one ive ever heard was at a comedy show the guys saying?

why is it fine when a women shouts deeper it's fine but when a man shouts tighter it's a big deal?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been round the block more times than the ice cream van lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

She,s that ugly no even a sniper would take her out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It must take you ages to put make up on two faces in the morning lol

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

That fellow is grimmer than a hangmans dinner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Celtic-2...Sevco international -0

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By *trunieMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Your face looks like somebody sat on it when it was still warm

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By *ivingston_cplCouple
over a year ago

livingston

A princess from the back an abscess from the front

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By *atmanhMan
over a year ago

bellshill

"A princess from the back an abscess from the front

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By *atmanhMan
over a year ago

bellshill

A fizzer like a riveter's knee bag

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