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Parties/socials

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Are we the only couple that ask the guest list for parties and socials before we decide if we are attending.

We've enjoyed some good parties and socials in the past like a bbq last year but we've also been to some where the crowd weren't really our age or interested in the same things as us so we decided that we weren't going to attend another unless we knew there would be a couple of people we may click with

Recently we have been invited to a few events and have asked the guest list to be told it will be revealed a few days before. It takes a wee bit of planning for us to get time for things due to family and don't get much chance to have nights out so we see it as a bit of a waste if we go and don't find what we are looking for

Just wondered if anyone thinks the same or everyone is happy to go along and take the chance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think alot has to do with privacy

If I was attending a private party or even social and folk told others I was attending without my permission to do so I would be quite miffed and not go

If I wanted folk to know I would put it the forum that I was attending

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Think alot has to do with privacy

If I was attending a private party or even social and folk told others I was attending without my permission to do so I would be quite miffed and not go

If I wanted folk to know I would put it the forum that I was attending

"

But they are going to see you when you are there anyway?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yip

And they will be there also

But not others knowing and then not going or telling others I'm going

If your going to a party...go..take your chance and go ...as you said...not many host will tell you before hand who us attending

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's pretty difficult for a host to know until a few days before really. Guest lists will change a lot during the course of planning a party

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very easy to rectify.

Organise your own and only admit those you find 'acceptable'

Personally I think you'd be missing out but your restrictions are up to you

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

I think social nights and parties are slightly different.

A social night is exactly as it says you turn up, chat get to know others and if you meet someone you like you take it from there what happens next.

A party if it were a "play party" I would like to know who was on the guest list as you are absolutely right there is no point going if you are not attracted to anyone. For this reason we rarely attend any of these types of events and instead meet people we are looking to play with x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think it's pretty difficult for a host to know until a few days before really. Guest lists will change a lot during the course of planning a party"

I would have thought if a deposit was being paid that it would be pretty certain they were going

We hosted a party before and felt that we should say who was coming if we invited someone.

Anyway we were more wondering if people like to know the guest list like we do or we were different to the majority.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Very easy to rectify.

Organise your own and only admit those you find 'acceptable'

We have

It's not about people being acceptable, as you have put it, it's about finding people we have things in common with and are attracted to. "

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By *earded blossomCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

The answer to this would be to host your own. If I was going to a play party I would want to know who was going but as has already been said guest lists aren't really final until a few days before. With socials you can usually see from the forums who is going, although in this case not that bothered as its only socialising. There's lots of people that I get on with and who's company I enjoy but maybe wouldn't consider them play partners or vice versa.

K X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I probably would like to know ... but conpletely understand why they wont tell you ... so i tend not to go to play parties as i imagine if you turned up and either didn't like anyone or nobody like you it could be a bit awkward

Rather go to a club where you have the option of socialise or play without feeling that pressure of a smaller group

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The answer to this would be to host your own. If I was going to a play party I would want to know who was going but as has already been said guest lists aren't really final until a few days before. With socials you can usually see from the forums who is going, although in this case not that bothered as its only socialising. There's lots of people that I get on with and who's company I enjoy but maybe wouldn't consider them play partners or vice versa.

K X "

I can't remember did you send out a guess list before the bbq or did we know who was going through the forum?

That was a great night but was a social so your right it didn't really matter but if you can remember right we attended another party a while afterwards and it was a play party and we hadn't asked who was going and it was an older crowd. After that we decided we wouldn't attend another play party without knowing who was going.

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh


"I think social nights and parties are slightly different.

A social night is exactly as it says you turn up, chat get to know others and if you meet someone you like you take it from there what happens next.

A party if it were a "play party" I would like to know who was on the guest list as you are absolutely right there is no point going if you are not attracted to anyone. For this reason we rarely attend any of these types of events and instead meet people we are looking to play with x

"

What she said

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By *earded blossomCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"The answer to this would be to host your own. If I was going to a play party I would want to know who was going but as has already been said guest lists aren't really final until a few days before. With socials you can usually see from the forums who is going, although in this case not that bothered as its only socialising. There's lots of people that I get on with and who's company I enjoy but maybe wouldn't consider them play partners or vice versa.

K X

I can't remember did you send out a guess list before the bbq or did we know who was going through the forum?

That was a great night but was a social so your right it didn't really matter but if you can remember right we attended another party a while afterwards and it was a play party and we hadn't asked who was going and it was an older crowd. After that we decided we wouldn't attend another play party without knowing who was going. "

We didn't send out a list... Yep I remember the party, we ended up in a small lounge chatting with you and another couple as it wasn't for us. That's the risk you take I suppose, that's why we prefer clubs and socials unless it's a party organised by a group of friends.

K x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The answer to this would be to host your own. If I was going to a play party I would want to know who was going but as has already been said guest lists aren't really final until a few days before. With socials you can usually see from the forums who is going, although in this case not that bothered as its only socialising. There's lots of people that I get on with and who's company I enjoy but maybe wouldn't consider them play partners or vice versa.

K X

I can't remember did you send out a guess list before the bbq or did we know who was going through the forum?

That was a great night but was a social so your right it didn't really matter but if you can remember right we attended another party a while afterwards and it was a play party and we hadn't asked who was going and it was an older crowd. After that we decided we wouldn't attend another play party without knowing who was going.

We didn't send out a list... Yep I remember the party, we ended up in a small lounge chatting with you and another couple as it wasn't for us. That's the risk you take I suppose, that's why we prefer clubs and socials unless it's a party organised by a group of friends.

K x"

Thats why we ask, our spare time is rare so the risk isn't worth it for us. We still had a good night that night it was just a bit of a let down in that we thought it would turn out differently lol

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews


"I think it's pretty difficult for a host to know until a few days before really. Guest lists will change a lot during the course of planning a party"

Very much this. As you know we've spoken to you in regards to our party this week, and right now we still have messages coming in, and a few people who have been down to attend for a while have now cancelled.

So it's very much in flux until a couple of days before. Even then someone may have to pull out for whatever reason right up to the last minute, real life happens.

Plus the above point about people not attending the party being told who is attending, many people don't like that and prefer discretion.

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By *earded villainMan
over a year ago

edinburgh


"I think social nights and parties are slightly different.

A social night is exactly as it says you turn up, chat get to know others and if you meet someone you like you take it from there what happens next.

A party if it were a "play party" I would like to know who was on the guest list as you are absolutely right there is no point going if you are not attracted to anyone. For this reason we rarely attend any of these types of events and instead meet people we are looking to play with x

"

this

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Just to clarify, we send out the guest list a few days before the party so everyone has a chance to check each other out beforehand, it's not a turning up blind situation like at a club. Some people are even meeting up for drinks first

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown


"Are we the only couple that ask the guest list for parties and socials before we decide if we are attending.

We've enjoyed some good parties and socials in the past like a bbq last year but we've also been to some where the crowd weren't really our age or interested in the same things as us so we decided that we weren't going to attend another unless we knew there would be a couple of people we may click with

Recently we have been invited to a few events and have asked the guest list to be told it will be revealed a few days before. It takes a wee bit of planning for us to get time for things due to family and don't get much chance to have nights out so we see it as a bit of a waste if we go and don't find what we are looking for

Just wondered if anyone thinks the same or everyone is happy to go along and take the chance "

Can understand that, I know that if I saw someone I disliked was going then I may reconsider my attendance.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just to clarify, we send out the guest list a few days before the party so everyone has a chance to check each other out beforehand, it's not a turning up blind situation like at a club. Some people are even meeting up for drinks first "

Hey we have been invited to 4 different events over the past few weeks with the same reply when we were asking about guest lists so we weren't meaning specifically yours. Didn't mean any offence if it was taken we apologise

I get the privacy thing but the amount of abusive messages we also receive on here sometimes from well verified members means we would like to know who's going as well as if there's anyone we are interested in. So for us our safety (or others haha) is more important that our privacy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can see the argument for both giving out the guest list or not beforehand.

From a personal point of view I would like to know however if it wasn't given out I don't think it would stop us from going.

If you go and nothing happens then that's a bit of bad luck, or you could go and have a great time! Remember profiles don't always give you a true reflection of who someone is when you meet them in the flesh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For a party where it's likely there could be playing involved I'd want you know who was attending. For a social I'm not particularly fussed about knowing, it's all about meeting new people, stepping out of a comfort zone and talking to people I may not usually talk to. At a social I'm adult enough to be able to avoid/be civil to anyone I may not get on too well with. Parties are more intimate though so I understand not wanting to go into it blind.

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