FabSwingers.com forum: name and shame

By *nT OP Couple
over a year ago

funland

dont you think we should have a name and shame list for timewasters?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yeah defo i think it should b allowed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two sides to that coin

Yes for no shows if meet arranged

But no for I was named and shamed for a meet that I had no info about but the couple claimed to have txt me . Damages genuine guys like me tryin to get fun .

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"Two sides to that coin

Yes for no shows if meet arranged

But no for I was named and shamed for a meet that I had no info about but the couple claimed to have txt me . Damages genuine guys like me tryin to get fun . "

could defo be open to abuse someone with gripe against someone for instance so not nice but not much you can do your word against theirs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

True MissD. You were supportive when it happened with me ,did consider wrappin fab over it but glad I choose not to . Tho this couple still lurk and went unpunished .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/06/11 02:33:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very bad idea....wouldn't work ....would be ttly open to abuse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Definately no as it would be a tit for tat thing, too many different views on what a timewaster is as well, the only thing to do is block , delete and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im happy witht he current report function, easy to use and as its not public probably not abused as much as a public name and shame would be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"dont you think we should have a name and shame list for timewasters?"
nope as there is a rule for it not 2 name an shame

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe we could have something along the lines of reporting it to mods and if a name keeps popping up they might be able to contact/warn them or something along those lines.It would stop a free for all at least.Just a thought.

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"Maybe we could have something along the lines of reporting it to mods and if a name keeps popping up they might be able to contact/warn them or something along those lines.It would stop a free for all at least.Just a thought."

That function is already available through the "report" button; second from last option - "Arranged meet, did not turn up"

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Considering the amount of "he-said-she-said" stories that plague not just Fabs, but swinging as a whole, a public name-and-shame list would not work.

I myself have been a victim of some of these. Most recent one being supposedly getting a woman blind d*unk at a social (bearing in mind she and her husband are both older than me and have been swinging years before I started)... and I had never even been to the venue of the social... so who's to be believed?

It sadly won't work.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mods don't deal with this admin do... Admin look at reports ppl send in... But they don't go on just one persons say so they look at multiple reports on that person/persons...

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By *l coupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Theres far too much shit stirring goes on on fab that would make a public name-shame unworkable.

Example: You fall out with someone over something, you then badmouth them as being a timewaster and they get a bad name for it, would that be fair?

It would never work because of stuff like that which can and does go on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am torn on this one.I have had my time wasted on a few occasions but once there was a genuine mix up on where we were to meet.I was mad at the time and would have named and shamed the couple.We sorted things on the phone the next day and had some sucessful meetings ,I really dont know what the answer is.

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By *uy from scotlandMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

name and shame would work would get rid of them from site yes they may pop up with a diff name to many peeps on here for chat and not fun if u wanna chat go to local shopping centre

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"name and shame would work would get rid of them from site yes they may pop up with a diff name to many peeps on here for chat and not fun if u wanna chat go to local shopping centre

I wouldn't go to my local shopping centre to arrange a swinging meet any more than I'd come here to order stewing meat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

shopping centres dont have chat rooms but fab does , this timewaster thing usually only happens to those who rush into meeting folks , cant say i have ever had a timewaster , take ur time its not a race , engage brain and get to know someone first and always socially , never disappointed that way.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"name and shame would work would get rid of them from site yes they may pop up with a diff name to many peeps on here for chat and not fun if u wanna chat go to local shopping centre

We example of how it wouldnt work :You arranged to meet me last nite at 8pm in Glasgow at such and such a hotel but you didnt turn up wasting my time and money on the hotel now I KNOW thats not ture YOU KNOW thats not true if i told others what would they believe? can you see how it wouldnt work and how it could be open to abuse to people who have a grip with you ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you have had your time wasted by someone, dont arrange to meet them again... simple as! Lets be really honestly, how many people on here care if you have been let down ... not that many. There are 101 reasons why someone has to cancel a meet, yes some reasons are better than others but they are THEIR reasons, nobody has to like them. Some folk class people as timewasters if they dont reply to a mail, others if they ask someone to meet and they say NO (I mean how dare they not fancy you and say no!!).

Why not just put it behind you and move on ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"name and shame would work would get rid of them from site yes they may pop up with a diff name to many peeps on here for chat and not fun if u wanna chat go to local shopping centre

"
it wont work

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah name everyone ... I would lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First of all you have to define a TIMEWASTER.........

1) Someone who chats to you on here for hours and tells all their fantasies and how you can fulfill them and then after a couple of hours says thanks but no thanks...

2) Someone you've chatted to, built up an online rapport and then arranged a meet only for them not to show..

3) Same as 1) and it turns out to be a single guy using a couple's profile.....

Who do you banme and who do you shame.....

Jacs is correct with the no show.. How infuriating is it when you go to a lot of bother for a meet, arrange a hotel etc at your cost and the person (s) do not show....Your out of pocket as well as having your time wasted....

If like me you have recently been made redundant this is a major pain in the arse...as well as the wallet....

Name and Shame does not work....

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By *omaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Although annoying, the "timewasters" are part and parcel of this kinda site.

Rather than "Name & Shame maybe have a system like EBay has, where you have positive/Negative feedback for planned meets ONLY.....

It would also give a chance to respond by the persons involved.

Ok Ok i know its a complicated set up to have but surely its better than a Name & Shame

Other than that then yes, we would say put the timewasters down to experience. We are not all here to make life annoying, and you will have plenty of fun in the long run.....Its deffo worth the effort on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Although annoying, the "timewasters" are part and parcel of this kinda site.

Rather than "Name & Shame maybe have a system like EBay has, where you have positive/Negative feedback for planned meets ONLY.....

It would also give a chance to respond by the persons involved.

Ok Ok i know its a complicated set up to have but surely its better than a Name & Shame

All it takes is one legitimate cancellation from a couple, woman or guy and one impatient,quick to judge, peeved person to quickly shout timewaster!! And delve straight into pinging up some kind of negative feedback, then yer straight back to who to believe and indeed why should we know?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

such a bad idea... like jands said leaves it open to abuse, also it only gives one side of the story, and everyone would get dragged into others disbutes

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

have always been against this rule but after the past few days since one person has felt it ok to say things about me to others and actually naming and giving fone numbers out i am having a change of heart about it. does seem so far it doesn't apply to everyone after all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it is bad rule don no why it keeps coming up about it,

if you have an issue with an user that are time waster or for whatever reason just report it privately

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By *omaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

everyone is entitled to their opinion i suppose....even those with bad ideas LOL

I wasnt calling for a "Feedback system" i was just throwing it open to opinions.

Id rather things stayed as they are.... for good or bad.... you ll always have the timewasters, wherever you go online...... Jeez even Gum Tree has them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first instinct was to say yes . This place is full of them , but so is rest of the web. The dedicated tranny pick up sites are many times worse than here where the majority of people are genuine.

However every so often you do run into weirdos. I meet people every week , both regulars and newbies. My verifications show only a small percentage of my activity, yet I managed to run foul of a complete creep who called me one. We had discussed him attending one of my bi weekly meets with guys, but my instincts told me to drop him so I did. He was never invited yet travelled to Perth and not knowing where to come bombarded my phone with messages. So the bugger ends up calling me a time waster, despite fact I am spending the afternoon with 5 other members here!

If we had a name and shame list any of us genuine people could end up on it. Do what I do, if they dont show and dont get in touch with good explanation simply block. Then move on to the genuine ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is easy to get negative on a free site such as fab. However there is enough nice, decent genuine people on this site to balance out the wasters. Just ignore them and move on (Sometimes easier said than done I know!!!)

C xx

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By *nT OP Couple
over a year ago

funland

thanks for all the opinions on this thorny issue - greatly appreciated folks. being honest it isnt a huge issue for us these days and only get caught out with the no showers on very rare occassions - we normally manage to suss them out way before we ever get to arranging a meet lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My first instinct was to say yes . This place is full of them , but so is rest of the web. The dedicated tranny pick up sites are many times worse than here where the majority of people are genuine.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People are there own worst enemy. There is no reason not to be photo verified..genuine people who are not photo verified are adding to the problem.

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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

"People are there own worst enemy. There is no reason not to be photo verified..genuine people who are not photo verified are adding to the problem. "

we aren't photo verified and have no intention of doing so. Does this make us less genuine than those who are?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People are there own worst enemy. There is no reason not to be photo verified..genuine people who are not photo verified are adding to the problem. "

Peter Tobin could click on here, join, get a cell mate to take a pic, hold up his wee card and get photo verified if he wanted, whats the big plus/comfort in photo verified?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can we have a seperate one for females as well. It's becoming a complete joke this site in past few months for females who are fantasists and timewasters and have no intention of meeting whatsoever!

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By *TUNNAWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

"Can we have a seperate one for females as well. It's becoming a complete joke this site in past few months for females who are fantasists and timewasters and have no intention of meeting whatsoever!"

takes all kinds xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe, just maybe they just like to be picky on who they share a bed with

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Gut instinct is a wonderful thing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well that’s the problem we don’t know do we. And many others won’t know will they? You can get someone else to verify you but that means nothing at all. Time after time in chat we get single men pretending to be single women or couples. They are there day after day when it is clearly obvious they are not who they say they are. Now they can’t be banned because there is no evidence as such yet they don’t need to provide evidence to back up who they say they are. So the only people being protected are those who are guilty. There must be a reason why the site wants as many people as possible no matter who or what they say they are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And how many single men know a female or a couple that will do that for them?

The site sets up a system and people dont use it. Ok if it dosent work why not get rid of it altogether. We also know normal verifications dont work so we might as well get rid of them as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Certainly thats the downtime, checking, cross checking people add up to being the real thing.

Thats why, certainly in my case, the profiles a bit of an open book, verifications are up there for that simple reason, it endorses the fact i meet, i dont rely on simply the verified green tick, thats a whole other thread, the all verifications hidden thing is either folks being very discreet about who they meet, met or know.

If your a single guy and got yourself a "genuine" and "reliable" reputation on here and dont feel the need to display a single verification, well done.

Whenever a new verification goes up, you can guarantee an up in folks lookin you up, 90% of those who do that usually are my fellow solo male with that idle curiosity.

Some are'nt idle, hell no, some look them up coincidently if its someone they have met too, then they go all detective, usually on the 20 questions tack to who you met, "what dyou meet him for?" "Does that mean yer lookin for more meets then"? etc etc etc.

And its meant to be fun? lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They work for you and against you,seems to be the way of it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can we have a seperate one for females as well. It's becoming a complete joke this site in past few months for females who are fantasists and timewasters and have no intention of meeting whatsoever!

Maybe, just maybe they just like to be picky on who they share a bed with

S. "

+ 1

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does wonders to the swinging confidence meeting "fussy", or "picky",but part of acheiving that is not calling them timewasters and fantasists, wee nugget there,hope it helps,lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can we have a seperate one for females as well. It's becoming a complete joke this site in past few months for females who are fantasists and timewasters and have no intention of meeting whatsoever!

Maybe, just maybe they just like to be picky on who they share a bed with

+ 1"

+2 xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can we have a seperate one for females as well. It's becoming a complete joke this site in past few months for females who are fantasists and timewasters and have no intention of meeting whatsoever!

Maybe, just maybe they just like to be picky on who they share a bed with

S. "

Maybe you don't have a clue how many times woman on here muck guys about? All i'm saying is it's not just guys who are timewasters.

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By *nT OP Couple
over a year ago

funland

as a couple who do meet single guys i am sure you are right steve and it is worse for yourselves as just so many guys out there to choose from. still doesnt make it right to pretend u r going to meet. we always tell a guy if we aint interested. other side of that coin is that we are told by some "who do we think we are". always going to be folk who suffer, be it couples, single guys or girls

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just the sweeping generalisation of this kinda has me curious.

If folks are good enough to take the time out to explain why they cant meet,nothing timewaster like about that.

offt, dyou know wat, we been here n said all this again and again, then it turns into, "whats your idea of a timewaster etc", people are free to cancel,postpone, if your utterly misslead and leaft standing at meet point with a "no-show",thats my idea of being timewasted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People are there own worst enemy. There is no reason not to be photo verified..genuine people who are not photo verified are adding to the problem.

we aren't photo verified and have no intention of doing so. Does this make us less genuine than those who are?"

im not photo verified either, nor do i intend to be. I am real, and not a timewaster, although people do seem to take pleasure in wasting my time at the moment.

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By *urvy N TeaseCouple
over a year ago

Stirling

We are not photo verified either and we never will be, besides its a bit pointless when already verified by other genuine people

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By *dultfunscotland2000Man
over a year ago

Scotland and beyond

Likewise, i'm not photo verified, nor do i intend to be. I feel a verification carries more weight, a few verifications, even more so.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

was told 2 get verified so i did

when 1st join.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no to open to abuse by the time wasters themselves ,people need to use the system that already in place

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

o yeh also had my first meet to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/07/11 16:55:33]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

try again this time without spelling mistakes

you can name and shame me anytime you want _nt lol lol

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