FabSwingers.com forum: A Bumpkin's Guide To Driving in Glasgow

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Coming from a land where 2 cars behind a tractor is called a traffic jam and is worthy of a mention in the local paper,,, here's some of my observations of driving in Glasgow....

1. Despite the fact there are many cars in the city..DO NOT expect those cars to have indicators....they're obviously never used

2. Hone your psychic abilities...you're meant to be able to mind read as to when the car in front of you will change lanes at the very last moment

3. Those lane indicators at roundabouts are just meant to keep lane painters in work, they're not there to guide you silly !!

4. When the traffic info board tells you it will take you 20mins to get to anywhere - add on an hour cos they forget to inform you they closed the road taking you there.

5. Don't expect the freedom to drive fast and enjoy your music,,,they like to look after their citizens so forbid you to drive faster than 30mph unless you can show your "ginger" addiction card.

6. And you thought 4x4 vehicles were for use over fields and rough tracks like what you get in the country? Don't be silly - they're obviously required to get over speed bumps and require constantly sprayed with fake mud.

7. And finally.....you thought the outside lane was for overtaking?? Alas No... its for ure own personal use so you can flip down the visor and pick ure nose in peace without the inconvenience of actually allowing faster vehicles to pass

P.S. You ought to know...I'm the dark haired woman in the silver van and yes....it is a sawn-off shotgun pointing out the driver's window !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

pmsl roxi,

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By *inesawineWoman
over a year ago

fife

Fantastic Roxie, lmao xx

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By *lackbird186Man
over a year ago

west glasgow

"Coming from a land where 2 cars behind a tractor is called a traffic jam and is worthy of a mention in the local paper,,, here's some of my observations of driving in Glasgow....

1. Despite the fact there are many cars in the city..DO NOT expect those cars to have indicators....they're obviously never used

2. Hone your psychic abilities...you're meant to be able to mind read as to when the car in front of you will change lanes at the very last moment

3. Those lane indicators at roundabouts are just meant to keep lane painters in work, they're not there to guide you silly !!

4. When the traffic info board tells you it will take you 20mins to get to anywhere - add on an hour cos they forget to inform you they closed the road taking you there.

5. Don't expect the freedom to drive fast and enjoy your music,,,they like to look after their citizens so forbid you to drive faster than 30mph unless you can show your "ginger" addiction card.

P.S. You ought to know...I'm the dark haired woman in the silver van and yes....it is a sawn-off shotgun pointing out the driver's window !!!

1. indicators are just for use at xmas with the dash xmas tree.

2. mind read Naw "just use the force luke".

3. white lines at roundabouts "oh look a pretty white line under the car"

4. disinformation board =lets screw your day up boards.

5. 30mph on the M8 oh what luxury.

6. "Mud in a can" £5.99 "freshair in a can" £1.99

7.A the beuty of bikes just over take them on the outside shoulder doing 120 and they soon move, or give them selfs a brain hemerage as they thrust their finger in to that pea they call a brain

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

LMFAO Roxie and Blackbird, after taking an hour to crawl seven miles into Glasgow centre last trip through there I can assure you, you don't half see some sights without a gun! xxxx

p.s I keep a crystal ball on the dash to predict what the next move the car in front is going to make.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glasgow is a breeze, where ever you want to go is either left or right of the M8, wats yer prrrrrrrablem? lol

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By *empnbunkCouple
over a year ago

south coast

1. using indicators wears out the bulbs

2. so womens ability to do anything is a myth?? lol

3. whits lines on roundabouts are a game ...how many lanes you can use b4 coming off said roundabout.

4. When the traffic info board tells you it will take you 20mins to get to anywhere - it would have if you hadnt taken an extra 2hrs gettin ready

5. Don't expect the freedom to drive fast and enjoy your music,,,by all means do exactly that but turn your music down a lil so you can hear the horns blasting behind you as leave a trail of carnage behind you

6. And you thought 4x4 vehicles were for use over fields and rough tracks like what you get in the country? no their for women takin their kids to school

7. And finally.....you thought the outside lane was for overtaking?? Alas No... its for women to cruise along in peace as they apply their make up and do their hair while textin whoever their meetin tellin them why they are 2 hrs late

now going to hide 4 the backlash starts...lmao

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Laugh? I nearly shat when I read the above !! lololol I'd have believed it if I had'nt remembered that women are NEVER wrong LOLOL

Hope all you days are spangly and your transmission never fails on the M8 at 5pm xxxx lol

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By *imfromGlasgowMan
over a year ago

er...guess

[Removed by poster at 22/07/09 17:50:58]

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

you sum it up nicely roxie

but guys the outside lane early hours of morning is reserved for d*unks staggering home

they think your indicators are disco lights especially when acconmpanied by your music blaring

ps never trust googlemap or multi map directions - they're pish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i hate driving in glasgow with a vengence but i can find the fishing shop in possil but just dont park your car or the bassa's book you.(ps im the one that drives in the middle lane checking out all the females with minis on in the outside and inside lanes)

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By *ockyjockyMan
over a year ago

G63 countryside

Roxie,

Your from the land of the Broons....therefore I presume your driving skills are suspect if you have been driving in the play parks, after all, cars drive around cricles and children play on rounabouts in parks in your neck of the woods! So what you doing painting lines on roundabouts ya vandal?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

fekk thats where I been going wrong.....my satnav tells me second exit off the roundabout, that'll explain the headaches .. I should let it stop first!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

LOL Rory, I'd have had to agree with you there if I hadn't remembered I passed my test in Edinburgh and had to be a newbie driver round the morass of roads in the Heathrow area. So after 27 years of driving with no prangs I feel qualified in commenting on the wee proclivities of city drivers lolol Play parks? lol we call them fields up here and as for painting lines on a roundabout..I'm not the culprit cos my lines would be purple and spangly

xxx

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