FabSwingers.com forum: One Liner Jokes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I entered an erection contest....only made the semis

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Corduroy Pillows... they're making headlines...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Corduroy Pillows... they're making headlines...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm also gonna get rid of my hoover... it was just gathering dust...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I once had sex for an hour and 10 minutes, then realised the clocks went forward, still counts in my book

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Conjunctivitis.com - that's a site for sore eyes.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

10:30am today, I am in the ??Hotel till lunchtime, love to meet you...

'That' is a Joke lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Conjunctivitis.com - that's a site for sore eyes.

Jinty

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atmanhMan
over a year ago

bellshill

"10:30am today, I am in the ??Hotel till lunchtime, love to meet you...

'That' is a Joke lol

Thought you'd got threads crossed Max

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Nipples, without them breasts are pointless

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Waking up this morning was an eye opening experience

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Velcro....what a rip off!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Nostalgia....not what it used to be

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Working in a mirror factory is something I could totally see myself doing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Working in a mirror factory is something I could totally see myself doing

When did Stewart Francis have a sex change?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Had a threesome the other night, got 2 cancellations but still had a great time

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *owboy BebopMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Here's a picture of me with REM.Thats me in the corner.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *owboy BebopMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

f you want to feel better-looking and increase your self-esteem..... move to Leeds.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Don't you hate people who answer their own questions?? I do!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have sex daily... sorry DYSLEXIA... Fcuk sake

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have sex daily... sorry DYSLEXIA... Fcuk sake

Hahahaha!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *owboy BebopMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I'm driving.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do the letters DNA stand for

National Dyslexic Association

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got an odd job man in. He was useless. I gave him a list of eight things to do.....he only did numbers one three five and seven

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate roofers... Always looking down on me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate russian dolls... they are SO full of themselves

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bumped into the guy who invented window sills....what a ledge!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had the police at the door complaining of my rottie chasing a guy on a bike took me a while to convince them my rottie cant ride a bike

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bad spellers of the world...UNTIE!!!!!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Took a once in a lifetime holiday NEVER AGAIN

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just read through all of these lolol brilliant

Btw... there are three kinds of people in the world... those than can count and those that can't

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had the police at the door complaining of my rottie chasing a guy on a bike took me a while to convince them my rottie cant ride a bike"
haha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

I farted in an elevator ..it was wrong on soo many levels

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mudg3rMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

My dad's a magician. I have two half sisters.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Nice work everyone!! Kept me entertained all day!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My dad's a magician. I have two half sisters.

I knew a Magician once too... he turned into a driveway...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a job as a human cannonball did not last long got FIRED

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been offered a job in an advent calendar factory but I'm not taking it... I think it's days are numbered...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My uncle used to sell filofaxes for the mafia, he was into very organised crime

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've deleted all the German numbers off my phone... it's hans free now

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once had a job selling pens in a nudist camp.

"Felt tips?" I hear you ask.

No, but I touched a couple of bollocks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *anny77Man
over a year ago

glasgow

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exit signs, they're on the way out.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be indecisive but now I'm not so sure

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went out to catch fog today.....mist

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

"I went out to catch fog today.....mist"

I'm actually laughing as my son told me that joke today and at the time I was making dinner and it just skimmed over my head and it wasn't until we sat down I got him to repeat it then chortled away for longer than it was probably funny

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *k2nkCouple
over a year ago

livingston

Oedipus was a complex mother fucker

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Went to a zoo earlier that only had one dog

It was a shihtzu

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *trunieMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Went to a zoo today and they had a bit of toast in a cage.When I asked the keeper about it he told me it was bread in captivity

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Friends with Benefits ....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are 3 different types of people in this World.

Ones who can count and ones who cant.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are 3 different types of people in this World.

Ones who can count and ones who cant.

There are two different types of people on this forum.

Those the check that their joke wasn't already posted and those that don't.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are 3 different types of people in this World.

Ones who can count and ones who cant.

There are two different types of people on this forum.

Those the check that their joke wasn't already posted and those that don't.

Aww really ?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are 3 different types of people in this World.

Ones who can count and ones who cant.

There are two different types of people on this forum.

Those the check that their joke wasn't already posted and those that don't.

Aww really ?

"Big Bad Flo" posted it 9 hours ago!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aster and sub 69 79Couple
over a year ago

portadown. tyrone area

[Removed by poster at 18/11/16 01:30:09]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's with hedgehogs? Why don't they share?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

These are all great... but I hate those German sausage jokes... they're the wurst...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I joined a dating website for people who love the circus recently - it's called Fairground Attraction!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ale for nsaMan
over a year ago

ayr

Once opened an origami shop feck only lasted two weeks and it folded lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheers, a very entertaining 5 minutes. That's not a joke, I just mean I've had a laugh at all of yours

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I went to the pet shop and asked to a buy a goldfish. Bloke asked if I want an aquarium? I said didn't care what star sign it was .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guy got caught stealing advent calendars, he got 25 days

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watcha call a camel with 3 humps? Pregnant

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *cotsguyyMan
over a year ago

Belfast

I was stood in the park contemplating on why a ball gets bigger the closer it gets ....then it hit me!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hedgehogs why cant they learn to share!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Irish shop lifter ,found dead under marks&spencer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

I met an African girl the other night, we talked for hours, we just, clicked

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mu neighbour hold the world record for concussions i say my neighbour he lives a stones throw away

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Out of of ten, "yeah I'd give her one"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *omaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Dyslexics . . . Untie

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's been an explosion at a cheese factory. De brie everywhere...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ary_ArgyllMan
over a year ago

Argyll

"There's been an explosion at a cheese factory. De brie everywhere...

Doesn't really count as two lines?

Hear about the dyslexic who walked into a bra.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im addicted to brake fluid, but its ok I can stop anytime.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *atmanhMan
over a year ago

bellshill

Dyslexic pimp who bought a warehouse

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We'll see about that.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you think nobody cares whether you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met the guy who invented crosswords. I can't remember what his name was....it was p something t something r

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *omaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I used to hear voices in my head . . but now I ignore them . . and carry on killing

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edLionScotMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"What's the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck.

What's the difference between your bonus and your penis?

Your wife will only blow your bonus!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Old people should be shot at birth!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Black beauty.....he's a dark horse!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *omaMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

it's a funny thing . . . . comedy

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Met a bloke Richard ...what a (dick).....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I must keep some of these for the pub quiz. Those that have been will know why lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to be dyslexic but in k.o. now

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

Went to a new bar last night. The sign said poker in the back and liquor in the front

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate sitting in traffic, because I always get run over

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *razy dancerMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

My 2 mates got jail for stealing a calender got 6 months each

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread