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A wee joke!

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By *976scott OP   Man
over a year ago

North Lanarkshire

The other day I needed to pay a visit to the public toliet, so I found a public toilet that had two cubicles.

One of the doors was locked. So I went into the other one, closed the door, dropped my trousers and sat down.

A voice came from the cubicle next to me: 'Hello mate, how are you doing?'

Although I thought that it was a bit strange, I didn't want to be rude, so I replied 'Not too bad thanks.'

After a short pause, I heard the voice again 'So, what are you up to?'

Again I answered, somewhat reluctantly, 'Just having a quick shit... How about yourself?'

The next thing I heard him say was "sorry mate, I'll have to call you back. I've got some arse in the cubicle next to me answering everything I say.'

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By *igD262Man
over a year ago

glasgow

Good one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in the pub last week and an older guy came in and said to the bartender, can I have a pint please, I'm 62 today, the bartender said certainly sir, this ones on the house, thanks he replied as he took his first sip,then said and I'm 2 til 10 tomorrow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scotstoun guy was on American version of who wants to be a millionaire. Got to the million dollar question.

Host: 'Geography!Where is Santa Fe?'

Scots guy thinks for a while, dramatic music plays in the background, finally he is ready to give his final answer. 'Lapland!'

Apparently he was wrong!!!!

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By *atexbound_scotMan
over a year ago

Livingston

There's this zoo, it only has one animal, it's a dog....it's a shitzu

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By *exywheelsCouple
over a year ago

inverness

A young boy is the the garden with his grandad, and grandad is doing some ing in the flower beds. As the old man tuns over the earth, a worm comes out of a hole in the earth and starts wiggling away over the flower bed.

Grandad turns to the boy and says "If you can get that worm back in its hole I'll give you 50 cents".

The boy thinks for a second then runs back into the house. He comes back a couple of minutes later with his mums can of hairspray, and picks the worm up by one end. The worm hangs straight down for a second, so the boy sprays the worm with hair spray which sets and keeps the worm straight. The boy them lines up the worm against the hole it came out of and slowly inserts the worm into the hole.

Grandad has been watching the whole thing, so he pats the boy on the head and says he will pay him tomorrow.

The next day the boy rushes to Grandad and holds out his hand. Grandad reaches into his pocket, takes out a coin and says "He's the 50 cents I owed you", then reaches into his wallet, takes out a banknote and says "and here's 5 dollars from grandma

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What does it take to make a octopus laugh?????

Ten-tickels!

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