FabSwingers.com forum: A true Dom

By *atmanh OP Man
over a year ago

bellshill

What makes a true Dom/Domme

Just an opinion of what it means for those interested. Dom, sub, switch or vanilla

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Trust is the most important thing

Understanding of each other's needs

Boundaries must be discussed before hand and respected

It can be the most intense amazing sessions if done properly xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Trust is the most important thing

Understanding of each other's needs

Boundaries must be discussed before hand and respected

It can be the most intense amazing sessions if done properly xx

As a Dom/ Domme your subs needs come first their safety and their boundaries are priority that's why safe words are used , it's a special thing when a sub gives the Dom that privalige of taking control and trusting them any true Dom will respect this xx

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By *atandasmileMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"What makes a true Dom/Domme"

I think most would say I have only dabbled, so maybe that means I am not a true dom.

Most of the time I don't worry about the power dynamic and go for mutual fun and frolics. Maybe that means I'm not a true dom.

I can't seem to bring myself to worry about capitalising 'dom'. Maybe that means I'm not a true Dom.

But...

I have found that, *if* I am *sure* that a partner wants to be dominated, then I will enjoy doing so.

And for me it's about:

- Giving her the pleasure she needs.

- Trust. Obviously she has to trust me if I'm dominating her. Less obviously I find that I have to have formed a bond of trust before I can bring myself to dominate her: it's part of how I truly know that she wants it.

- Control. Not pain; seldom punishment. Control over her pleasure: exerting control, making her control her urges, control over orgasms. My favourite bit would be the orgasms: I'm afraid I'm a bit of an orgasm-o-phile

So maybe I am a true dom in the sense that I feel the urge :shrug:. But only sometimes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What makes a true Dom/Domme

I think most would say I have only dabbled, so maybe that means I am not a true dom.

Most of the time I don't worry about the power dynamic and go for mutual fun and frolics. Maybe that means I'm not a true dom.

I can't seem to bring myself to worry about capitalising 'dom'. Maybe that means I'm not a true Dom.

But...

I have found that, *if* I am *sure* that a partner wants to be dominated, then I will enjoy doing so.

And for me it's about:

- Giving her the pleasure she needs.

So maybe I am a true dom in the sense that I feel the urge :shrug:. But only sometimes.

That's a great way to look at it xxx

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By *ewels74Woman
over a year ago

Dundee/Angus/Blackpool

Communication is mainly high on the list for me,Respectful,Trust,Honesty.

Btw I have no respect or trust to those who feel the need to have millions of subs all at once some I would call a chain,

To me you need to cherish the one Sub you are with,they have picked you,and if you fling that back into there face,then you will just see that sub, stand up,turn and walk out of your life and not look back, hearts become involved,don't be so flippant in how you treat

Also it's not a game,the trust you give

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By *atandasmileMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"That's a great way to look at it xxx

Thanks

I must admit I was a bit worried as I was writing that I might just look weird to both camps.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Communication is mainly high on the list for me,Respectful,Trust,Honesty.

Btw I have no respect or trust to those who feel the need to have millions of subs all at once some I would call a chain,

Also it's not a game,the trust you give"

Well said hunni xx

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By *atmanh OP Man
over a year ago

bellshill

"That's a great way to look at it xxx

Thanks

I must admit I was a bit worried as I was writing that I might just look weird to both camps.

You sound like a natural

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's a great way to look at it xxx

Thanks

I must admit I was a bit worried as I was writing that I might just look weird to both camps.

Not at all every one has different ways of looking at it but most common words you can see here and also other people's views are mostly centered around trust boundaries and respect goes along way xx

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Ok.....

A true Dom puts the needs of their sub above their own - ALWAYS. They wil trust, respect and often love them. The sub is to be cherished. They are giving you their body and mind.

The mind. Always remember here is no greater sexual organ than the mind. It's not always about what you do to a sub but also what you don't do.

It's not just about tying them to a bed and hitting their ass with a crop. A true Dom will make a sub lie still without restraints and that sub will obey the commands they are given.

And always reward them. It doesn't matter how, everyone is different. Work out what is best for them

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"That's a great way to look at it xxx

Thanks

I must admit I was a bit worried as I was writing that I might just look weird to both camps.

Nicely put

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok.....

A true Dom puts the needs of their sub above their own - ALWAYS. They wil trust, respect and often love them. The sub is to be cherished. They are giving you their body and mind.

The mind. Always remember here is no greater sexual organ than the mind. It's not always about what you do to a sub but also what you don't do.

It's not just about tying them to a bed and hitting their ass with a crop. A true Dom will make a sub lie still without restraints and that sub will obey the commands they are given.

And always reward them. It doesn't matter how, everyone is different. Work out what is best for them

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

Ive struggled all my life to understand the dom/domme sub phenomenon. To be honest I dont think I ever will. perhaps thats alot to do with me not enjoying any form of pain or submission. Unfortunatly especially over the past few yrs with the advent of 50 shades of sh**. there has been a massive influx of dom wannabes. I have a few friends heavily into this scene and from their mouths you dont meet someone one day and sub them hours later. it takes ages to build a lvl of trust way more than what is req for a normal relationship. I also think folk mix up what dom sub is for example sensory play is not only the realm of dom sub also with pain kindness and pleasure are a big part. For me dom domme/ sub is a dangerous thing especially on a site like fab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bdsm is like a big umbrella under which it covers lots of different types of play, it's entirely up to the individuals engaging in play to decide what they will do ,it is hard to understand some of the more extreme ,but as mentioned above if you are playing for more sensual play and you trust the person then why not ? each to their own as long as it's safe mutualy agreed play I say yes if it's something that turns you on and interests you why not

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

I am a Dom. Seemingly.

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"What makes a true Dom/Domme

Just an opinion of what it means for those interested. Dom, sub, switch or vanilla"

To be honest that's a question I never know how to answer as I find it it is a personal answer. Because a true Dom/Domme to 'me' might be totally different to someone else.

I can tell you what a true Dom is to me (don't like the word true) but I would be referring to 'my' own needs and the type of relationship 'i' am seeking with a Dom which might be different to someone else's.

I have read many bdsm texts that gives the do's and the don'ts and how to be a Dom and a good Sub. I find many excluded the individuals own personalities.

I believe each party needs to know what their needs are as a Sub or Dom, what they want to get out of it and then try to find the appropriate person that will fill those criteria.

Needs that can vary during the course of that relationship.

Each party needs to know if they get what they need. If they do they are with the Dominant/submissive they need. If they don't they need to discuss with the other party and see if changes can be made etc...

One common thing however is Communication and Trust, they are essential.

Hope i make sense to someone lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Judging by the messages and people we've come across on here this site isn't the place to get the answer from.

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Judging by the messages and people we've come across on here this site isn't the place to get the answer from."

And that's fine for you because it's works for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What makes a true Dom/Domme

Just an opinion of what it means for those interested. Dom, sub, switch or vanilla

To be honest that's a question I never know how to answer as I find it it is a personal answer. Because a true Dom/Domme to 'me' might be totally different to someone else.

I have read many bdsm texts that gives the do's and the don'ts and how to be a Dom and a good Sub. I find many excluded the individuals own personalities.

I believe each party needs to know what their needs are as a Sub or Dom, what they want to get out of it and then try to find the appropriate person that will fill those criteria.

Needs that can vary during the course of that relationship.

One common thing however is Communication and Trust, they are essential.

Hope i make sense to someone lol

Makes total sense max

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

"Judging by the messages and people we've come across on here this site isn't the place to get the answer from."

It's only a game show

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By *ewels74Woman
over a year ago

Dundee/Angus/Blackpool

"Ok.....

A true Dom puts the needs of their sub above their own - ALWAYS. They wil trust, respect and often love them. The sub is to be cherished. They are giving you their body and mind.

The mind. Always remember here is no greater sexual organ than the mind. It's not always about what you do to a sub but also what you don't do.

It's not just about tying them to a bed and hitting their ass with a crop. A true Dom will make a sub lie still without restraints and that sub will obey the commands they are given.

And always reward them. It doesn't matter how, everyone is different. Work out what is best for them

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By *ewels74Woman
over a year ago

Dundee/Angus/Blackpool

"What makes a true Dom/Domme

Just an opinion of what it means for those interested. Dom, sub, switch or vanilla

To be honest that's a question I never know how to answer as I find it it is a personal answer. Because a true Dom/Domme to 'me' might be totally different to someone else.

I have read many bdsm texts that gives the do's and the don'ts and how to be a Dom and a good Sub. I find many excluded the individuals own personalities.

I believe each party needs to know what their needs are as a Sub or Dom, what they want to get out of it and then try to find the appropriate person that will fill those criteria.

Needs that can vary during the course of that relationship.

One common thing however is Communication and Trust, they are essential.

Hope i make sense to someone lol

My thoughts exactly,im just really bad at putting what i think onto paper so to speak,so

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

It's not just about tying them to a bed and hitting their ass with a crop. A true Dom will make a sub lie still without restraints and that sub will obey the commands they are given.

And that's why am saying we are all different and we have different needs.

My 'true' Dom would know that telling me/his sub to lie there might work lol But it is most likely that he will have to physically make me lie there still.

It really doesn't turn me on to say Amen to everything a Dom says. I like challenging and be challenged and would look for a Dom able to understand this

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By *atmanh OP Man
over a year ago

bellshill

I posted this thread for a reason. Being Dom is very individual. And changes within the Dom/sub dynamic depending on needs and boundaries of the individuals. It's not about beating seven bells out of a sub and expecting total obedience from someone 2 mins after meeting them purely because you say you are Dom. Most here are control freaks or bullies

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Is there such a thing as a "true" dom or domme?

Its all about the experience and the perspective of the people in the situation at the time.

Its as individual as everything else. Sadly now theres this apparent uniform idea or approach. Where's the fun and excitement in that?

Of course trust, mutual respect and communication are vital in any people or group in a scene but that doesn't define them.

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By *atmanh OP Man
over a year ago

bellshill

"Is there such a thing as a "true" dom or domme?

Its all about the experience and the perspective of the people in the situation at the time.

Its as individual as everything else. Sadly now theres this apparent uniform idea or approach. Where's the fun and excitement in that?

Of course trust, mutual respect and communication are vital in any people or group in a scene but that doesn't define them. "

Maybe natural dom is a better term.

And agree. No rules to it. Very individual

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I posted this thread for a reason. Being Dom is very individual. And changes within the Dom/sub dynamic depending on needs and boundaries of the individuals. It's not about beating seven bells out of a sub and expecting total obedience from someone 2 mins after meeting them purely because you say you are Dom. Most here are control freaks or bullies"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most doms have an agenda on here and think that by writing what a sub wants to hear he will attract other sub girls. ..just saying..

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

[Removed by poster at 06/08/16 13:35:46]

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Most doms have an agenda on here and think that by writing what a sub wants to hear he will attract other sub girls. ..just saying..

Then don't deserve to be called 'Doms' then

lol

And subs are far from being dumb, they can spot a fake from miles.

Just saying

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By *atmanh OP Man
over a year ago

bellshill

"Most doms have an agenda on here and think that by writing what a sub wants to hear he will attract other sub girls. ..just saying..

Actions are what counts. A wanna be dom will be found out pretty quickly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most doms have an agenda on here and think that by writing what a sub wants to hear he will attract other sub girls. ..just saying..

Actions are what counts. A wanna be dom will be found out pretty quickly"

They don't care they have already got what they want. .But it's not just on the doms what about the subs that have various doms on the go at the same time? Plenty of those about too....just saying. ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ready whenever you are

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By *atmanh OP Man
over a year ago

bellshill

"Most doms have an agenda on here and think that by writing what a sub wants to hear he will attract other sub girls. ..just saying..

Actions are what counts. A wanna be dom will be found out pretty quickly

That's why we are here

To have as much fun as possible

Varied too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Trust is the most important thing

Understanding of each other's needs

Boundaries must be discussed before hand and respected

It can be the most intense amazing sessions if done properly xx

You can do what you want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most doms have an agenda on here and think that by writing what a sub wants to hear he will attract other sub girls. ..just saying..

Actions are what counts. A wanna be dom will be found out pretty quickly

That's why we are here

To have as much fun as possible

Varied too"

That's true as long as people are honest about it. .sadly on fab that quality is in short supply. .

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By *atmanh OP Man
over a year ago

bellshill

There are a lot of people here who say what they need to to get what they want. Others are very open on what they meant

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

It's not just about tying them to a bed and hitting their ass with a crop. A true Dom will make a sub lie still without restraints and that sub will obey the commands they are given.

And that's why am saying we are all different and we have different needs.

My 'true' Dom would know that telling me/his sub to lie there might work lol But it is most likely that he will have to physically make me lie there still.

It really doesn't turn me on to say Amen to everything a Dom says. I like challenging and be challenged and would look for a Dom able to understand this

Perfectly put Max and just shows that there are so many different angles to explore. It all depends on the sub.

No two people are alike not do they react the same to the same stimuli.

It's the finding out what works that is the fun bit

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

No two people are alike not do they react the same to the same stimuli.

Absolutely

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There are a lot of people here who say what they need to to get what they want. Others are very open on what they meant"

Indeed...

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

[Removed by poster at 06/08/16 16:57:19]

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Ive struggled all my life to understand the dom/domme sub phenomenon. To be honest I dont think I ever will. perhaps thats alot to do with me not enjoying any form of pain or submission. Unfortunatly especially over the past few yrs with the advent of 50 shades of sh**. there has been a massive influx of dom wannabes. I have a few friends heavily into this scene and from their mouths you dont meet someone one day and sub them hours later. it takes ages to build a lvl of trust way more than what is req for a normal relationship. I also think folk mix up what dom sub is for example sensory play is not only the realm of dom sub also with pain kindness and pleasure are a big part. For me dom domme/ sub is a dangerous thing especially on a site like fab"

I think you're right kola.

I've had a couple of subs in the past but it's something that has slowly evolved over time. The more we got to know each other, the further we pushed the boundaries.

It's not something to be done between 2 people who have known each other for a day

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By *atmanh OP Man
over a year ago

bellshill

Totally agree that it takes time to build to get that understanding. Can't expect instant and complete control

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Power seems to go to certain so called doms little minds is all about stimulating the mind and body not distroying it , it's sad when someone thinks it's ok to do so yet they can do as they please people have the right to choose who and when they have fun no one should ever try to control that it's all about respecting each other equally

And if it doesn't work then walk away and find something that does work for you

end of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have found in life that no matter how unacceptable someones behaviour is, be it sub or dom they will always find a way to justify it to themselves, after all the stark reality of what you really are is too hard to take for most people therefore its always easier to blame someone than confront that reality.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

each to their own like said before everyone has a right to do as they please and what suits them , it's all about fun , people can do as they want without answering to anyone its a site for fun , it's just a shame some don't see it that way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Power seems to go to certain so called doms little minds is all about stimulating the mind and body not distroying it , it's sad when someone thinks it's ok to do so yet they can do as they please people have the right to choose who and when they have fun no one should ever try to control that it's all about respecting each other equally

And if it doesn't work then walk away and find something that does work for you

end of "
couldn't agree more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is indeed, but peoples capacity for self delusion knows no bounds therefore we will just have to agree to disagree.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is indeed, but peoples capacity for self delusion knows no bounds therefore we will just have to agree to disagree.

I think that's best like I said each to their own we are all entitled to do as we want, some of us just want to have fun and self delusion ?we all have our opinion on that to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And if it doesn't work then walk away and find something that does work for you

end of couldn't agree more"

lil xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It is indeed, but peoples capacity for self delusion knows no bounds therefore we will just have to agree to disagree.

I think that's best like I said each to their own we are all entitled to do as we want, some of us just want to have fun and self delusion ?we all have our opinion on that to

I'm glad we've agreed to disagree.

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

I'm under no self-delusion or otherwise.

What I choose to do and who I choose to do it with is entirely my choice (and the person I'm doing it with obviously).

What I like and they like changes.

And as far as being Dom, it's a side of me I rarely let out because it's not a big part of me or who I am. But it comes out with the right person and only at the appropriate times.

As far as being judged on what I do or don't do - anyone is welcome to do so as it almost always ends up in the wrong conclusion about me and that never fails to amuse me

So with all of that said, good luck one and all and I'll see you all on the next cake thread

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm under no self-delusion or otherwise.

What I choose to do and who I choose to do it with is entirely my choice (and the person I'm doing it with obviously).

What I like and they like changes.

And as far as being Dom, it's a side of me I rarely let out because it's not a big part of me or who I am. But it comes out with the right person and only at the appropriate times.

As far as being judged on what I do or don't do - anyone is welcome to do so as it almost always ends up in the wrong conclusion about me and that never fails to amuse me

So with all of that said, good luck one and all and I'll see you all on the next cake thread

Well said xxx

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

There are many so called Dominants who do not know the difference between being dominant and being domineering.

A dominant person can be authoritarian and powerful, they have the utmost respect for others and a high level of care and consideration.

A domineering person thinks that it is all about being in charge no matter what with very little respect and only want to please themselves not their sub .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

LeT's face it the majority of so called dom sub relationships are nothing of the sort...Most guys meet a girl. .pull her hair. Smack her arse call her a slut and thats it. .They meet a few times then both move on to more of the same...that's the reality for most dom sub. .meets on fab...

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"LeT's face it the majority of so called dom sub relationships are nothing of the sort...Most guys meet a girl. .pull her hair. Smack her arse call her a slut and thats it. .They meet a few times then both move on to more of the same...that's the reality for most dom sub. .meets on fab...

Right, but that's not what I was describing.......

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

[Removed by poster at 06/08/16 20:14:49]

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Were you a fly on da bedroom wall?? lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course not because like all the other guys on here you want the subs reading this thread to think you are different and you can fulfil the unreal fantasy of a dom they have in their heads. .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Were you a fly on da bedroom wall?? lol

Did you hear me buzzing about. Lol x

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"Most doms have an agenda on here and think that by writing what a sub wants to hear he will attract other sub girls. ..just saying..

Then don't deserve to be called 'Doms' then

lol

And subs are far from being dumb, they can spot a fake from miles.

Just saying

Agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most doms have an agenda on here and think that by writing what a sub wants to hear he will attract other sub girls. ..just saying..

Then don't deserve to be called 'Doms' then

lol

And subs are far from being dumb, they can spot a fake from miles.

Just saying

Agree

Subs are the same as the rest of the population some smart some dumb. ..fact.

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Of course not because like all the other guys on here you want the subs reading this thread to think you are different and you can fulfil the unreal fantasy of a dom they have in their heads. ."

In actual fact I'm not looking for a sub....haven't for a long time.

As I said, it's only a small side of me and I only let it out with the right person. It's not something I bandy around in public

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could say that about doms too. Some dumb, some smart, some liars, some fakes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Could say that about doms too. Some dumb, some smart, some liars, some fakes

Of course

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Were you a fly on da bedroom wall?? lol

Did you hear me buzzing about. Lol x"

Nope lol hence why you cannot say what the Dom/sub meets on fab are like. You are speculating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Were you a fly on da bedroom wall?? lol

Did you hear me buzzing about. Lol x

Nope lol hence why you cannot say what the Dom/sub meets on fab are like. You are speculating

I'm speaking from conversations I've had with girls over the years.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Could say that about doms too. Some dumb, some smart, some liars, some fakes

So true lil

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/08/16 20:36:02]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Could say that about doms too. Some dumb, some smart, some liars, some fakes

So true lil

I'm sure you've met them all..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/08/16 20:36:06]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't say I am a true Dom not at all as no one has ever taught me right from wrong but in my eyes I do like to switch sometimes and be the one in control only done it with one guy and we spoke about what he wanted and I got advise a few months ago from fabbers about how to tease and Dom a guy etc and I enjoyed it and he enjoyed it as well and have enjoyed it since but maybe I am using the term wrong God knows but I'm defo not a true Dom I'm more a beginner who would like to explore this more

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Most doms have an agenda on here and think that by writing what a sub wants to hear he will attract other sub girls. ..just saying..

Then don't deserve to be called 'Doms' then

lol

And subs are far from being dumb, they can spot a fake from miles.

Just saying

Agree

Subs are the same as the rest of the population some smart some dumb. ..fact.

I agree, but how long you think you gonna keep that sub for??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most doms have an agenda on here and think that by writing what a sub wants to hear he will attract other sub girls. ..just saying..

Then don't deserve to be called 'Doms' then

lol

And subs are far from being dumb, they can spot a fake from miles.

Just saying

Agree

Subs are the same as the rest of the population some smart some dumb. ..fact.

I agree, but how long you think you gonna keep that sub for?? "

It last's as long as it lasts ....its a mutual decision surely..!

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By *atmanh OP Man
over a year ago

bellshill

There is no right and wrong. It's about what you have discussed and want

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Most doms have an agenda on here and think that by writing what a sub wants to hear he will attract other sub girls. ..just saying..

Then don't deserve to be called 'Doms' then

lol

And subs are far from being dumb, they can spot a fake from miles.

Just saying

Agree

Subs are the same as the rest of the population some smart some dumb. ..fact.

I agree, but how long you think you gonna keep that sub for??

It last's as long as it lasts ....its a mutual decision surely..!"

I was referring to your original comment regarding fake Doms duping sub in messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most doms have an agenda on here and think that by writing what a sub wants to hear he will attract other sub girls. ..just saying..

Then don't deserve to be called 'Doms' then

lol

And subs are far from being dumb, they can spot a fake from miles.

Just saying

Agree

Subs are the same as the rest of the population some smart some dumb. ..fact.

I agree, but how long you think you gonna keep that sub for??

It last's as long as it lasts ....its a mutual decision surely..!

I was referring to your original comment regarding fake Doms duping sub in messages.

Doms that dupe those girls have no intention of being their dom they only want to fuck them that's their goal. .

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Most doms have an agenda on here and think that by writing what a sub wants to hear he will attract other sub girls. ..just saying..

Then don't deserve to be called 'Doms' then

lol

And subs are far from being dumb, they can spot a fake from miles.

Just saying

Agree

Subs are the same as the rest of the population some smart some dumb. ..fact.

I agree, but how long you think you gonna keep that sub for??

It last's as long as it lasts ....its a mutual decision surely..!

I was referring to your original comment regarding fake Doms duping sub in messages.

Doms that dupe those girls have no intention of being their dom they only want to fuck them that's their goal. ."

Sorry I thought we had established that already

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most doms have an agenda on here and think that by writing what a sub wants to hear he will attract other sub girls. ..just saying..

Then don't deserve to be called 'Doms' then

lol

And subs are far from being dumb, they can spot a fake from miles.

Just saying

Agree

Subs are the same as the rest of the population some smart some dumb. ..fact.

I agree, but how long you think you gonna keep that sub for??

It last's as long as it lasts ....its a mutual decision surely..!

I was referring to your original comment regarding fake Doms duping sub in messages.

Doms that dupe those girls have no intention of being their dom they only want to fuck them that's their goal. .

Sorry I thought we had established that already

So did I. ...

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Makes a pleasant change to hear people that understand what a Dom/Domme is.

Too many mistake it for a master/slave relationship.

Finding a good Dom is difficult but great when you do.

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By *atmanh OP Man
over a year ago

bellshill

"Makes a pleasant change to hear people that understand what a Dom/Domme is.

Too many mistake it for a master/slave relationship.

Finding a good Dom is difficult but great when you do."

Just as hard to find a submissive lady too

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By *awty MaxWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Finding a good Dom is difficult but great when you do."

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"Could say that about doms too. Some dumb, some smart, some liars, some fakes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Trust is the most important thing

Understanding of each other's needs

Boundaries must be discussed before hand and respected

It can be the most intense amazing sessions if done properly xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My wife and i have a sub dom sexual relationship.

I have spent the last 17 years earning her trust so that she feels completely happy with laying her body and mind in my hands. It actually took her 15 years to build the courage to tell me it is what she wanted.

We sometimes use restraints and sometimes not. Being able to restrain her with my words is hugely important and shows the trust i have earned from her.

She has a massive pain/pleasure fetish. I very rarely use pain as a punishment so to speak it is most used to reward her for allowing me control and being completely obedient. However she does occasionally misbehave deliberately to earn a little punishment.

It is not about force. Never. It is about control and her giving herself 100% to me.

I will never be anyone elses dominant. I may be dominating with them but its very different. What i have with my sub i have earned. Not her. Me. I had to earn that right.

Would i say im a true dom?

Yes i suppose i would but only for her x

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By *atmanh OP Man
over a year ago

bellshill

"My wife and i have a sub dom sexual relationship.

We sometimes use restraints and sometimes not. Being able to restrain her with my words is hugely important and shows the trust i have earned from her.

It is not about force. Never. It is about control and her giving herself 100% to me.

I will never be anyone elses dominant. I may be dominating with them but its very different. What i have with my sub i have earned. Not her. Me. I had to earn that right.

Would i say im a true dom?

Yes i suppose i would but only for her x

Perfect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What i have with my sub i have earned. Not her. Me. I had to earn that right.

Would i say im a true dom?

Yes i suppose i would but only for her x

A genuine question, out of nothing but curiosity, do you see her as your sub or your wife first and foremost?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/08/16 06:22:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/08/16 06:25:19]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always see her as my wife first. I treat her with the absolute respect a wife and mother of my children deserves.

She gives herself to me 100% sexually. Even when i am in control that respect stays. I have earned the privilege of dominating her. It is a gift she has given me and one i cherish greatly x

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By *atmanh OP Man
over a year ago

bellshill

"I always see her as my wife first. I treat her with the absolute respect a wife and mother of my children deserves.

She gives herself to me 100% sexually. Even when i am in control that respect stays. I have earned the privilege of dominating her. It is a gift she has given me and one i cherish greatly x"

Wife and mother at all times except sexually. Ideal balance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always see her as my wife first. I treat her with the absolute respect a wife and mother of my children deserves.

She gives herself to me 100% sexually. Even when i am in control that respect stays. I have earned the privilege of dominating her. It is a gift she has given me and one i cherish greatly x"

Thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ok, having read through most of the replies on here, I thought I'd chime in with my two cents on what I think a 'true dom' is.

First of all, I am a collared submissive. There may not be any one correct definition of a 'true dom' as every dom/me, sub and subsequently D/s relationship are different. However, there is a massive difference to being a dom/me, being dominant and being a domineering asshat and thats where I personally think there can be much confusion. Incidentally, I have met all three of these types from this site!

To me, being dominant does not necessarily make you a Dom/me. The relationship I have with my Sir, is firstly and foremostly based on trust and communication. This allows us to form a strong bond and enables us to explore/ push limits safely. I trust him implicitly to look after me both physically and emotionally with any play that occurs because when you look towards pushing limits, it can be emotionally draining.

Because I am quite new to the BDSM scene, he, as a Dom and as a friend, takes on a protective and guiding role... He has much more experience than me and in the wrong hands (as I have experienced before meeting him), things can go wrong. Being a Dom/me certainly isn't just about barking orders and spanking the living daylights out of someone.... A 'true' Dom/me, will respect limits and will establish a safe word to keep all parties right.

At the end of the day, it is the submissive that actually has the ultimate control. Anyone who doesn't understand and accept that, in my opinion is not a Dom/me. Xxx

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By *wisted and kinkyCouple
over a year ago

Livingston

"Ok, having read through most of the replies on here, I thought I'd chime in with my two cents on what I think a 'true dom' is.

At the end of the day, it is the submissive that actually has the ultimate control. Anyone who doesn't understand and accept that, in my opinion is not a Dom/me. Xxx"

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Ok, having read through most of the replies on here, I thought I'd chime in with my two cents on what I think a 'true dom' is.

At the end of the day, it is the submissive that actually has the ultimate control. Anyone who doesn't understand and accept that, in my opinion is not a Dom/me. Xxx"

Perfectly described

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By *atmanh OP Man
over a year ago

bellshill

"Ok, having read through most of the replies on here, I thought I'd chime in with my two cents on what I think a 'true dom' is.

At the end of the day, it is the submissive that actually has the ultimate control. Anyone who doesn't understand and accept that, in my opinion is not a Dom/me. Xxx"

Very well said and totally agree

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By *atandasmileMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"At the end of the day, it is the submissive that actually has the ultimate control. Anyone who doesn't understand and accept that, in my opinion is not a Dom/me. Xxx"

Funnily enough I was just discussing exactly this point with someone today

Whenever I have dominated someone, I have found it to be hard, but rewarding, work: you need to stay on your toes and *pay attention* to figure out what the submissive needs - and then give them exactly that.

Standard proviso applies: everyone is different, that's just the way I approach it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really interesting thread

It's really interesting the amount of "Doms" that message us who clearly think that being a "Dom" is simply how tight you can tie someone up and how hard you can hit the sub with something be that flogger, whip etc etc.

If you ask them for their "tick list" of do's and dont's. It normally has them baffled and you don't often hear again.

Not sure there is such a thing as a true Dom. It's so individual that one persons right is another persons wrong.

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Really interesting thread

If you ask them for their "tick list" of do's and dont's. It normally has them baffled and you don't often hear again.

Not sure there is such a thing as a true Dom. It's so individual that one persons right is another persons wrong. "

I think it all depends on the sub. Because no two people are the same so a Dom has to figure out what the sub wants and how to give it to them. That's not an easy thing without time and communication.

That's why someone who says they can become someone's Dom overnight almost certainly doesn't understand or get it

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By *atmanh OP Man
over a year ago

bellshill

"Really interesting thread

If you ask them for their "tick list" of do's and dont's. It normally has them baffled and you don't often hear again.

Not sure there is such a thing as a true Dom. It's so individual that one persons right is another persons wrong.

That's why someone who says they can become someone's Dom overnight almost certainly doesn't understand or get it

Not a hope in hell. Need to know needs, limits, find out where you can and can't push. From what I've been told here it's all "kneel bitch" and a beating

No clue

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By *erverts R usCouple
over a year ago

Stirling

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Not a hope in hell. Need to know needs, limits, find out where you can and can't push. From what I've been told here it's all "kneel bitch" and a beating

No clue"

I haven't said that to my sub - EVER

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By *atmanh OP Man
over a year ago

bellshill

Not a hope in hell. Need to know needs, limits, find out where you can and can't push. From what I've been told here it's all "kneel bitch" and a beating

No clue

I haven't said that to my sub - EVER

Me either

But that's what some think it entails

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not a hope in hell. Need to know needs, limits, find out where you can and can't push. From what I've been told here it's all "kneel bitch" and a beating

No clue

I haven't said that to my sub - EVER

Me either

But that's what some think it entails"

I think this is a good example of people's different likes/boundaries, Jasmine likes if I'm forceful and say "kneel bitch" or other similar terms.

Some might be horrified by that....communication and knowing the person is key.

She certainly wouldn't want that from a meet where she doesn't know the person well enough.

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Not a hope in hell. Need to know needs, limits, find out where you can and can't push. From what I've been told here it's all "kneel bitch" and a beating

No clue

I haven't said that to my sub - EVER

Me either

But that's what some think it entails

I think this is a good example of people's different likes/boundaries, Jasmine likes if I'm forceful and say "kneel bitch" or other similar terms.

Some might be horrified by that....communication and knowing the person is key.

She certainly wouldn't want that from a meet where she doesn't know the person well enough.

Oh, it doesn't horrify me. However, it's saying it to someone you don't know and then slapping them around that horrifies me.

I feel sorry for the subs that don't know any better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Trust is the most important thing

Understanding of each other's needs

Boundaries must be discussed before hand and respected

It can be the most intense amazing sessions if done properly xx

Second the above

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By *ewels74Woman
over a year ago

Dundee/Angus/Blackpool

"Ok, having read through most of the replies on here, I thought I'd chime in with my two cents on what I think a 'true dom' is.

At the end of the day, it is the submissive that actually has the ultimate control. Anyone who doesn't understand and accept that, in my opinion is not a Dom/me. Xxx"

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By *ust LouiseWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Well for me being Dom is about charisma, holding their Sub's pleasure in the palm of their hand and knowing exactly how to get them sooo turned on they will beg for more and want to do whatever it takes to get that pleasure. And I'm still searching for a Dom with the power to melt any resistance I may have....they're turning out to be more elusive than a female unicorn!??????

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By *atmanh OP Man
over a year ago

bellshill

"Well for me being Dom is about charisma, holding their Sub's pleasure in the palm of their hand and knowing exactly how to get them sooo turned on they will beg for more and want to do whatever it takes to get that pleasure. And I'm still searching for a Dom with the power to melt any resistance I may have....they're turning out to be more elusive than a female unicorn!??????"

That takes time, trust and patience

Keep looking

He might be the next person you talk to

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