FabSwingers.com forum: Must reply even if it's a no thanks

By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

Am I the only one who finds this irritating?

The FAQs clearly state a no response is a no thanks. We tell guys this on the forum all the time.

Being told that I need to reply, even if it's to say that I'm not interested, is quite rude imo and an instant delete.

The irony being, if they hadn't told me that I should reply, I would have!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks for your thread but no thanks. ..it's really not my type

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"Thanks for your thread but no thanks. ..it's really not my type

Hehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always hate when they're pushy and write that they want a reply. I think you'll find that's my decision

Usually an instant delete for me

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"I always hate when they're pushy and write that they want a reply. I think you'll find that's my decision

Usually an instant delete for me

Exactly. If they're like that on a first message then I don't really want to meet them in person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always hate when they're pushy and write that they want a reply. I think you'll find that's my decision

Usually an instant delete for me

Exactly. If they're like that on a first message then I don't really want to meet them in person. "

Precisely hardly a great first impression

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being a little more serious. ...

My filters are very tight so I am not swamped with messages and unless they are, to my mind, extremely crude and off putting I will reply to most.

And my standard response rarely leads to any further messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being a little more serious. ...

My filters are very tight so I am not swamped with messages and unless they are, to my mind, extremely crude and off putting I will reply to most.

And my standard response rarely leads to any further messages

"
standard response being pure sarcasm?

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

"Being a little more serious. ...

My filters are very tight so I am not swamped with messages and unless they are, to my mind, extremely crude and off putting I will reply to most.

And my standard response rarely leads to any further messages

I don't want to see the inside of her cauldren

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"Being a little more serious. ...

My filters are very tight so I am not swamped with messages and unless they are, to my mind, extremely crude and off putting I will reply to most.

And my standard response rarely leads to any further messages

Haha, me too.

We do meet single guys so that filter is open, our age filters are wider at the moment due to organising a social. I prefer to reply with a no thanks if uninterested, but dislike being told what to do!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being a little more serious. ...

My filters are very tight so I am not swamped with messages and unless they are, to my mind, extremely crude and off putting I will reply to most.

And my standard response rarely leads to any further messages

I don't want to see the inside of her cauldren

Oh I never offered

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i fight ducks i would be offended to get a reply saying ooooo your my type

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i fight ducks i would be offended to get a reply saying ooooo your my type

Oh but Gas...do you wear a super hero duck fighting cape???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i fight ducks i would be offended to get a reply saying ooooo your my type

Oh but Gas...do you wear a super hero duck fighting cape???

"
i will for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am I the only one who finds this irritating?

The FAQs clearly state a no response is a no thanks. We tell guys this on the forum all the time.

Being told that I need to reply, even if it's to say that I'm not interested, is quite rude imo and an instant delete.

The irony being, if they hadn't told me that I should reply, I would have! "

Yeah it's weird how people block people if they don't reply to messages haha

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By *leasure domMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

If you put up a post inviting responses, you should at least have the courtesy to send a quick reply to those who reply.

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"If you put up a post inviting responses, you should at least have the courtesy to send a quick reply to those who reply."

It wasn't in reply to a post, it was an unsolicited message of interest. I'm not referring to forum posts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i fight ducks i would be offended to get a reply saying ooooo your my type

Oh but Gas...do you wear a super hero duck fighting cape???

i will for you

Get yer cape...you've pulled

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"i fight ducks i would be offended to get a reply saying ooooo your my type

Oh but Gas...do you wear a super hero duck fighting cape???

I will for you

What kind of cape would you have?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a big one

and oor iiier mrs doyle my first pull on fab i will have to fight more ducks now to increase my stamina

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I get a message that tells me to reply I will deliberately not reply. It's my option to reply and I do try to reply to most decent ones but things such as life take over my time. And cooking dinner and dealing with family life is more important than using what time I have to use on here repling no.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that's it's hard for the girls being swamped cos let's face it , it must be 10 to 1 guys favour in here. So it's understandable that ladies will ignore. I've never been rude or crude but it's so frustrating when u write a nice polite invitation to chat and it's deleted Asap.

Two sides of the coin here.

Everypne ask themselves tho. If you were in a bar or club how would you act n what would u say. Nobody would be as rude or crude or ignore. Just a d*unken thought

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By *issBehavingxxWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I think that's it's hard for the girls being swamped cos let's face it , it must be 10 to 1 guys favour in here. So it's understandable that ladies will ignore. I've never been rude or crude but it's so frustrating when u write a nice polite invitation to chat and it's deleted Asap.

Two sides of the coin here.

Everypne ask themselves tho. If you were in a bar or club how would you act n what would u say. Nobody would be as rude or crude or ignore. Just a d*unken thought

The key there is "polite invitation"

Many messages I get on here are far from that... and if someone came up to me in a bar and said what some say in their opening messages on here you're damn right I'd ignore them, or possibly tell them to fuck right off...(but you can get reported for abuse if you reply to people with that on here) so far simpler to delete and ignore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get zillions of messages,its impossible to reply to them,,plus most I'm not remotely interested in.

I do try n reply to folk I know and forumites that message me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know that's the same for guys aswell, most guys wouldn't dare going up to a lassy n give it that shit, that's my point bit of respect all round is needed. To many hiding behind a keyboard

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By *0 Shades of RedCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Are manners a thing of the past ? A polite message deserves a polite response, a rude or inappropriate one deserves to be ignored ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We used to reply to every message as again thought it was rude not too, however we ended up exceeding our messages for the day, and ended up having to wait to midnight before 'hitting on someone we wanted' so now... block so they do not waste their messages or ours, so at least they get the message!

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

My no thanks is already on my profile if people can't accept a no reply as a no thank you then that's their problem

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By *uzzy-LogicMan
over a year ago

Fochabers

I don't mind if people don't reply , having been part of a couples profile on here before I get that it can be hard to keep up with all the messages. I tried to reply to everyone at first but then you get the reply saying but you'd like me if you gave me a chance or the arguments that you are wrong for not wanting to meet them. So in the end only replied to people we wanted to take things further with.

I do appreciate it when I get a no thank you message and always reply thanking them for taking the time.

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

It's not the replying that grinds my gears, it's the 'it's only polite to reply to say you're not interested in me' sense of entitlement that I find rude.

Whether I choose to reply or not, that's MY choice. It's not bad manners to ignore an unsolicited message, it clearly states it in the FAQs.

But then how many people read the FAQs?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of pot kettle black on this post I must say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't mind if people don't reply , having been part of a couples profile on here before I get that it can be hard to keep up with all the messages. I tried to reply to everyone at first but then you get the reply saying but you'd like me if you gave me a chance or the arguments that you are wrong for not wanting to meet them. So in the end only replied to people we wanted to take things further with.

I do appreciate it when I get a no thank you message and always reply thanking them for taking the time. "
This kinda sums up our thoughts. Sometimes a polite no thanks isn't good enough for some.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never really understood this idea.

Surely no reply cushions the blow somewhat?

Nothing worse than actually getting a reply, thinking "I'm in here", opening it only to be told 'no thanks'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks"

You'd think so!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks"

Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks

Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa

"
I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks

Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa

I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of

I was talking about me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks

Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa

I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of

I was talking about me

"
too polite to say that

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks

Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa

I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of

Not cake? Say it ain't so!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/06/16 13:03:35]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks

Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa

I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of

Not cake? Say it ain't so!

Neither of them have ever offered cake

It's a ploy to tempt ya...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks

Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa

I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of

Not cake? Say it ain't so!

"
if you want cake you'll have to be extra nice nice to me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not the replying that grinds my gears, it's the 'it's only polite to reply to say you're not interested in me' sense of entitlement that I find rude.

Whether I choose to reply or not, that's MY choice. It's not bad manners to ignore an unsolicited message, it clearly states it in the FAQs.

But then how many people read the FAQs?

See I find this train of thought sorry to say this but rude. If you were in a bar n some ugly fat guy comes up to you n says the sweetest thing but your not interested your going to "choose not to reply". That's what's wrong

If he comes up n says something out of order then fair enough. Respect deserves respect surely?

hiding behind FAQ common ehh just say no thanks.

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

[Removed by poster at 20/06/16 13:07:00]

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks

Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa

I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of

Not cake? Say it ain't so!

Neither of them have ever offered cake

It's a ploy to tempt ya...

I'll be on my guard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks

Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa

I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of

Not cake? Say it ain't so!

Neither of them have ever offered cake

It's a ploy to tempt ya...

I'll be on my guard

"
I'm very sneaky though

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"It's not the replying that grinds my gears, it's the 'it's only polite to reply to say you're not interested in me' sense of entitlement that I find rude.

Whether I choose to reply or not, that's MY choice. It's not bad manners to ignore an unsolicited message, it clearly states it in the FAQs.

But then how many people read the FAQs?

If he comes up n says something out of order then fair enough. Respect deserves respect surely?

hiding behind FAQ common ehh just say no thanks. "

You've completely missed the point. The question I raised was that someone messages you out of the blue, not someone you've ever spoken to, and says that they're interested in meeting. Then they add that you should reply to their message, even if you're only replying to say no thanks, because 'it's only polite'.

Telling someone that they owe you a reply is rude, and is an instant delete from me. Had the guy not done that, I would have replied to say no thanks as I usually do (with the exception of one word messages), but telling me that I had to do so? No.

Being in a pub and someone coming up to you is a totally different scenario. Although you do have the option to just turn your back and ignore them, if you wish.

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks

Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa

I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of

Not cake? Say it ain't so!

Neither of them have ever offered cake

It's a ploy to tempt ya...

I'll be on my guard

I'm very sneaky though

Yes you are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks

Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa

I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of

Not cake? Say it ain't so!

Neither of them have ever offered cake

It's a ploy to tempt ya...

I'll be on my guard

I'm very sneaky though

Yes you are

"
affy tendency of calling in an air strike from the paper air force

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks

Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa

I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of

Not cake? Say it ain't so!

if you want cake you'll have to be extra nice nice to me

I'm always happy to share my cake - with nice people

And as for Gnorman - I offered a cuppa but you'd driven past me

So stop whinging

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"Don't get me wrong,it's always nice to receive a reply even if it's a no thanks,but surely in this adult world we all know that no reply is the same as a no thanks

Yeah....but some people keep pestering and then you end up meeting them for a cuppa

I know,a certain hirsute gentleman (and I'm using that term very loosely),is bad for blagging cans of

Not cake? Say it ain't so!

Neither of them have ever offered cake

It's a ploy to tempt ya...

I'll be on my guard

I'm very sneaky though

Yes you are

affy tendency of calling in an air strike from the paper air force

Crash helmet at the ready

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Woohoo!! It's official!!

I'm NOT a daft ass

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woohoo!! It's official!!

I'm NOT a daft ass

"
says who?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not the replying that grinds my gears, it's the 'it's only polite to reply to say you're not interested in me' sense of entitlement that I find rude.

Whether I choose to reply or not, that's MY choice. It's not bad manners to ignore an unsolicited message, it clearly states it in the FAQs.

But then how many people read the FAQs?

If he comes up n says something out of order then fair enough. Respect deserves respect surely?

hiding behind FAQ common ehh just say no thanks.

Being in a pub and someone coming up to you is a totally different scenario. Although you do have the option to just turn your back and ignore them, if you wish.

I see what your meaning there

Well fair enough if someone telling u what to do yip get that.

It's the whole other side that when your polite n try n strike up convo then deleted annoys me. Crossed wires peace

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woohoo!! It's official!!

I'm NOT a daft ass

says who?

What he said

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"It's not the replying that grinds my gears, it's the 'it's only polite to reply to say you're not interested in me' sense of entitlement that I find rude.

Whether I choose to reply or not, that's MY choice. It's not bad manners to ignore an unsolicited message, it clearly states it in the FAQs.

But then how many people read the FAQs?

If he comes up n says something out of order then fair enough. Respect deserves respect surely?

hiding behind FAQ common ehh just say no thanks.

Being in a pub and someone coming up to you is a totally different scenario. Although you do have the option to just turn your back and ignore them, if you wish.

I see what your meaning there

Well fair enough if someone telling u what to do yip get that.

It's the whole other side that when your polite n try n strike up convo then deleted annoys me. Crossed wires peace

I'm sure it does, that's a different discussion though

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Woohoo!! It's official!!

I'm NOT a daft ass

says who?

What he said

I don't need to explain myself

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By *ornyone30Man
over a year ago

ABERDEEN

If a message I send is read and deleted I take it as a no thanks and leave it. No problem. However see when a profile says things like be original or no one liners when messaging so you read the profile in full making sure you are within the criteria and send a message relating to the person and a bit about yourself and how you think you may be good to meet and it's then deleted before reading? That is a tad annoying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's not the replying that grinds my gears, it's the 'it's only polite to reply to say you're not interested in me' sense of entitlement that I find rude.

Whether I choose to reply or not, that's MY choice. It's not bad manners to ignore an unsolicited message, it clearly states it in the FAQs.

I replied to someone saying thanks for the message but you are too far away to encourage. Cue he mails me all the time now so I ignore them. Which yes is rude but I'd already said no.

But then how many people read the FAQs?

If he comes up n says something out of order then fair enough. Respect deserves respect surely?

hiding behind FAQ common ehh just say no thanks. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Doesn't really bother me. Though the same copy and paste message being sent 3 times telling me to do so and I had said no thanks already. Yeah block!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two sides of the coin here.

Everypne ask themselves tho. If you were in a bar or club how would you act n what would u say. Nobody would be as rude or crude or ignore. Just a d*unken thought

"
I ignore if they live to far stuff like that .why talk if u sent gonna meet.and getting told u should reply is a no go

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"Doesn't really bother me. Though the same copy and paste message being sent 3 times telling me to do so and I had said no thanks already. Yeah block!"

Urgh

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By *ab femWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Just ignore the messages then. It's that simple

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By *ouwontforgetMan
over a year ago

tayside

I normally message once if no reply then so be it I just take it people read my profile and don't like what they see hAha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't understand why some people need rejection in writing. Does it make any difference to the whole fab experience?

My profile says that I won't reply if I'm not interested. They so they can make an informed choice whether or not to message me if a reply is so important.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My profile doesn't invite messages except from friends so to message and request an answer goes straight to my deaf ear....pardon?

If I message someone, I'm happy to get a response. If I don't...fair do's. No one is entitled to an answer or indeed a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't understand why some people need rejection in writing. Does it make any difference to the whole fab experience?

My profile says that I won't reply if I'm not interested. They so they can make an informed choice whether or not to message me if a reply is so important.

It's just a wee bit of manners but you got it on your profile then fair enough.

I just hate rudeness that's all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Am I the only one who finds this irritating?

The FAQs clearly state a no response is a no thanks. We tell guys this on the forum all the time.

Being told that I need to reply, even if it's to say that I'm not interested, is quite rude imo and an instant delete.

The irony being, if they hadn't told me that I should reply, I would have! "

tbh i think its just manners to say that to someone not even getting a reply can be annoying but I do put it down aw well i tryed, there lost lol. but for me if i have some one messege me and im not interested i would let them now lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have you responded to all the politicians who have put leaflets through your letter box?

It's nothing to do with manners. Is a no thanks going to make you feel any better? What does it actually bring to your experience on this site.

Sorry to bang on but it's the same whine every day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry not for me, happy fabbing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The messages along the lines of "face pic" or "pics" do my head in

Especially from a newby with zero verifications

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By *ostEligibleBachelorMan
over a year ago

—

I'm a bit of a hypocrite. I don't say no thanks, I leave the messages marked as unread and just move on as if I never saw them. But if i message someone who deleted my message without replying, i do make a mental note and if they message me at some point in the future, I make a point of ignoring them ha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/06/16 23:57:24]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of people take it bad if u say .

Not intrested or ur not my type they start ..how do u know u haven't tryed ect ...then u get the others that call u names .slut fat cow .ect when u answer so easyer not too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks for your thread but no thanks. ..it's really not my type

"
ahhhh to be sure Mrs Doyle that's funny would u like a wee cup of tea go on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No reply is your reply.

Takes up too much of my time and energy replying to guys I'm not interested in sorry.

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