FabSwingers.com forum: friends husband!!

By *bw6 OP Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Oh what a mess ...I've been approached by a single male who is very well verified. He sent a lengthy first message along with photos including face pics!! Yes ..my friends husband! I haven't replied and was considering forgetting all about it ...until my friend calls inconsolable as she's found condoms in his gym bag.

Do I tell her - in turn admitting what myself and my hubby get up to, or do I keep quiet while he talks his way out of it??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Oh what a mess ...I've been approached by a single male who is very well verified. He sent a lengthy first message along with photos including face pics!! Yes ..my friends husband! I haven't replied and was considering forgetting all about it ...until my friend calls inconsolable as she's found condoms in his gym bag.

Do I tell her - in turn admitting what myself and my hubby get up to, or do I keep quiet while he talks his way out of it?? "

Tough 1. I always think it's better to stay out of other people's business but then if she finds out you knew and didn't tell her she might not be too happy. If you were in her shoes what would you want her to do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He doesn't know that it's you that he's messages I'd assume? That being the case, your name won't come up in any conversation with her on this topic. Personally I'd offer a listening ear & let them sort it between themselves. You've done nothing wrong, & you can still keep this part of your life private from her.

Be a friend, be consoling, be kind. Don't say what you know, if he's well verified then he's met plenty of other people through whom he could be exposed.

Mr J xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"He doesn't know that it's you that he's messages I'd assume? That being the case, your name won't come up in any conversation with her on this topic. Personally I'd offer a listening ear & let them sort it between themselves. You've done nothing wrong, & you can still keep this part of your life private from her.

Be a friend, be consoling, be kind. Don't say what you know, if he's well verified then he's met plenty of other people through whom he could be exposed.

Mr J xx"

Great advice, Mr J.

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By *alnsanCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Personally wouldn't reply or block & stay clear of any involvement with profile, if you block for no apparent reason he might become curious as to why profile is blocked, in regards to telling your friend I would take into consideration about how much you value your friendship & if you are going to say anything make sure you have messages & photos recorded (especially before photos are deleted from message), pointless you jeprodising your friendship & your made to feel bad either-way with your descision, we have been in this situation (not on here) & informed the partner & then things turned sour towards us as the couple tried to redeem their relationship which later split & Mrs lost a very close friend from experience, I (Mr) would prob do the same as Mrs because there were young children involved, hopefully once you've made your desicion things work out for 1's involved.

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By *exycouplemmmmCouple
over a year ago

Surrey

I'd stay well out of it. Just be a kind friend and listen and support your friend. As long as he doesn't know your identity - there's little chance she will ever make the connection. Good luck - I'm sure you feel awful

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"I'd stay well out of it. Just be a kind friend and listen and support your friend. As long as he doesn't know your identity - there's little chance she will ever make the connection. Good luck - I'm sure you feel awful

This

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

What would hurt your friend more knowing that her hubby was cheating on her or knowing that her hubby was cheating on her and her best fried knew about but said nothing?

It's a tough call but I'd keep out of it and let them both sort it out themselves

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By *yrshiremischiefMan
over a year ago

Kilmarnock

Do I tell her - in turn admitting what myself and my hubby get up to, or do I keep quiet while he talks his way out of it?? "

I wonder if he'll reply on this thread?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was in this exact position. Someone I knew contacted me. Saying they were single.I speak to his wife and kids nearly every day. Thought long and hard. I came clean to him. Admited it was me. Was enough to shock him and leave fab.. .. lies always cause trouble and restless minds .

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

If your friend dosnt know your on here would you share that with them. For me if the answers yes then I would tell without hesitation as I see it not much of a friend if you allow them to be trodden over. If the answers no its pointless as you cant back it up but I would be advising what other need is there for condoms other than what your thinking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do I tell her - in turn admitting what myself and my hubby get up to, or do I keep quiet while he talks his way out of it??

I wonder if he'll reply on this thread?"

No names have been mentioned, she could be on about anyone. People get caught out all the time. Personally I'd stay out of it. He doesn't know it's you - keep it that way.

Be a listening ear for your friend and offer advice if you were in her position. Hopefully she'd do the same vice versa.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've one friend who would want to know and I couldn't keep it from and I've another friend I know who wouldn't want to know and would stay with regardless. Everyone can give you advice but only you know your friend and what to do. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been in this situation and didn't tell... she found out anyway and I got the blame even though I stopped it in its tracks... four years of abuse and harrasment ending in a lawyers letter to tell her to back off and he left her anyway. Would it have been better if I had told her... I really don't know... I feel for you and sincerely wish you well. I only wish I could be more constructive.

Red xXx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Really hard one with some good advice above, Iv nothing to add but the fact that this thread alone proves that fems read their emails!

No more need for guys to post new threads on 'why don't fems open their emails'

(My attempt to brighten up a serious thread)

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By *atex and KinkCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I'm with most other's. Stay out of it. However, as suggested, log and keep messages, screen dump, profiles, pictures just incase the shit hits the fan.

Friends should be friends. But if she decides to make 2+2=7 and use you as a whipping stick for her marriage break up, you can tell her straight. Not your fight, but you hold your ground.

Best wishes and good luck.

Latexkink

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By *bw6 OP Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Wow thank you all so much - I can't believe I'm in this position!

If I'm honest I hope he has seen this post and is wondering if it's him I'm talking about and wondering which friend I am.

For the moment I'm going to be there for my friend and support her anyway I can.

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you should tell your friend after all it is her who is your true friend not her cheating husband. I am sure you would want her to tell you if it was your husband that was cheating on you. I could not stand by and watch her hurting..Ray x.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of good advice for you to decide over..

Personally ..i would block the profile..If you hadnt seen the message that was sent too you..you would be non the wiser.

As some have said its a tough one too call..

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By *lawless doveWoman
over a year ago

bothwell

"Wow thank you all so much - I can't believe I'm in this position!

If I'm honest I hope he has seen this post and is wondering if it's him I'm talking about and wondering which friend I am.

For the moment I'm going to be there for my friend and support her anyway I can.

Think you have made the correct decision. Your friend is going to need lists of support from you. Good luck to you both and hope it all works out for the best xx

Xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was in this exact position. Someone I knew contacted me. Saying they were single.I speak to his wife and kids nearly every day. Thought long and hard. I came clean to him. Admited it was me. Was enough to shock him and leave fab.. .. lies always cause trouble and restless minds ."

Far to many married people cheating on here, if there marriage is that bad why stay in it? If it was me id just reply saying hi & name him & ask if his wife knows about him being on fab & naming her too. He,d shit a tonne. Maybe even throw in a time deadline to force him to either see sense or leave. Cheating will catch up with the cheaters in time but good friends are hard to come by.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wow thank you all so much - I can't believe I'm in this position!

If I'm honest I hope he has seen this post and is wondering if it's him I'm talking about and wondering which friend I am.

For the moment I'm going to be there for my friend and support her anyway I can.

Xxx

Very surprised that he has sent you face pics if married, especially if you live close by.

I think it is up to your friend and her husband to sort things out without you becoming involved

Cheating often leads to Separation and can often get very nasty, especially when friends on each side start putting their advice in

husbands friends will say one thing, wife's friends another and its not a nice place to be

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would agree with you that leaving is the correct option but sometimes lives are so much more complicated than that... sometimes someone stays for the greater good... for instance children... perhaps that isn't even the right reason and of course hindsight is a wonderful thing

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Stay out of it, and just be there for your friend. Telling her wouldn't achieve anything.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Understand that you used children as an example but the offender isnt thinking about kids wife or his wedding vows. Could be finacially tied but at the end of the day the offender isnt talking to his wife about issues within. Cheats are liars & so are people helping them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't argue with the black and whiteness of that... if only life was the same and I don't mean fifty shades of grey

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't tell her if you want to keep her as a friend don't tell her your on fab because of this if you had wanted her to know you'd have already told her. If you tell her he may very well turn on you blaming you for trying to wreck his marriage and say you came on to him but he knocked you back and you could lose a friend. You must block him completely if your worried about her an anonymous note saying he's on a website called fab and give his user name but only should do this if worried about her health and the fact he's using condoms would augur well for that just be there for her don't judge him or her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't tell her if you want to keep her as a friend don't tell her your on fab because of this if you had wanted her to know you'd have already told her. If you tell her he may very well turn on you blaming you for trying to wreck his marriage and say you came on to him but he knocked you back and you could lose a friend. You must block him completely if your worried about her an anonymous note saying he's on a website called fab and give his user name but only should do this if worried about her health and the fact he's using condoms would augur well for that just be there for her don't judge him or her "

Agreed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My thoughts are that you do as you would be done by. Discretion and respect are due to all members even errant husbands of best friends. We are all here for our own reasons so if I were to come across anyone I know I'd block and forget. Meddling in other people's lives never tends to go well for any party involved.

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

"My thoughts are that you do as you would be done by. Discretion and respect are due to all members even errant husbands of best friends. We are all here for our own reasons so if I were to come across anyone I know I'd block and forget. Meddling in other people's lives never tends to go well for any party involved.

"
surely do as you would be done by means the opposite of what tou say just as much. As an example I would expect a friend to inform me if I was being cheated on informing isnt meddling in my view turning a blind eye is not friendship in my eyes so again it comes down to how each individual sees it and how they view friendship

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

surely do as you would be done by means the opposite of what tou say just as much. As an example I would expect a friend to inform me if I was being cheated on informing isnt meddling in my view turning a blind eye is not friendship in my eyes so again it comes down to how each individual sees it and how they view friendship"

Yes, it does Kola and believe me I see your point of view but rightly or wrongly I'd rather say nothing and risk hurting than interfere and hurt for sure. Sadly, in this kind of situation nobody wins.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does anyone really have the right to interfere in someones'relationship?

I sure as hell don't, and would keep well out of it. Some might think about telling a friend about their partner, but as far as I am concerned, if anyone is going to hurt my friend, let it be the person "cheating" on them, not me.

If you want to go hurting friends, you'll soon end up losing more of them.

Block they guy, and let sleeping dogs lie.

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By *tarl0rdMan
over a year ago

Ardrossan

It's a real dilemma! Firstly think of the consequences, will she believe you? Will she hate you for the truth? Will she run straight back to him and you lose a friend? Are there children involved?

You are obligated morally to do what you believe and live by? How would you like her to behave in this dilemma if the shoe was on the other foot and it was happening behind your back?

I would build up a screenshot profile of this guy so you have proof that at a later stage could help her! I would let her find out inadvertently by letter from someone who says she was seeing him from fab? I would then help her look into his profile on here? I would then send her emails with the screenshots that you trawled through when he was online giving her the proof she asked you for inadvertently! You see this way you are helping but no way involved other than by her request!

Remember you choose your friends and she is one for a reason, definitely not worth losing! However she deserves the truth! This site is not for guys like him and he does not deserve her!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its a hard one....

type up an anonymous note, saying i think ur hubby is cheating on u and give her the link to his profile....

shes gets to know the truth, and u dont have to tell all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like the msg that says reply naming him and his wife to let him know you know exactly who he is. Potentially give him a piece of your mind and then block after sending msg. No chance he will know who you are and sends a clear msg of stop being a dick and you're gonna get found out! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've read most posts, and there's a lot of different views, all valid and good advice, but I have the solution to your problem! Send a msg to your pal anonymously, giving the details of her husband's profile, explain to get how she sets up a profile, then she can msg him giving him all the chat, ask to see his face pic, then after he sends his she can send hers, with a lovely wee msg of her choice attached

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On a lighter note imagine all the married guys that habe contacted Bbw6 and are bot crapping their pants wondering if this is them

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By *plfromfifeCouple
over a year ago

levenmouth

You are already in a no win situation. How long before your friend told you about the condoms had this guy contacted you? If you had any contact with her between then she may already accuse you of hiding it from her. If there is no way of you being identified by him cut all contact on here and be a sympathetic friend without getting over involved

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

I'd personally want to know if my hubby was cheating .I also know there's plenty of others who wouldn't want to know . He's the one that's caused the situation and the one who's made the choice to cheat. He's put the whole sorry mess inadvertently and unfairly on you. I'd turn it back on to him ... mail him naming him and fact you know he's married , block him and let him sweat !

Your friend already knows he's up to no good so shes the one who needs to confront him . Be there for her but don't be surprised if she takes it no further as rather not know for sure .

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By *utdooryoneMan
over a year ago

Over there

"On a lighter note imagine all the married guys that habe contacted Bbw6 and are bot crapping their pants wondering if this is them"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On a lighter note imagine all the married guys that habe contacted Bbw6 and are bot crapping their pants wondering if this is them

OMG

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By *hosadonisMan
over a year ago

Lowestoft

Be a friend, be consoling, be kind. Don't say what you know, if he's well verified then he's met plenty of other people through whom he could be exposed.

Mr J xx"

Good advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Arrange a dark room meeting with no chat in hotel, not at your place, u will find it one of the hottest sessions you have ever had.

Once he has gone either tell him 'that was a one off and will never happen again' or tell him 'come back anytime, but it will always be in darkness'!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Arrange a dark room meeting with no chat in hotel, not at your place, u will find it one of the hottest sessions you have ever had.

Once he has gone either tell him 'that was a one off and will never happen again' or tell him 'come back anytime, but it will always be in darkness'!

No offence but I think this comment should be on the fantasies forum and also sounds that it's the male that posted... sorry to all the males who posted great supportive comments and advice but this one is just... insensitive at best!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you feel like it's a secret that you can keep? I think things will be worse if you 'burst' several months down the line as you will hurt her more having kept the secret.

If you don't tell you need to resolve that you will never tell.

Quite frankly finding out a partner had cheated would hurt, finding out they had been in multiple situations (possibly with multiple people), exploring sexual fantasies on a swinging site would be exceptionally painful.

Varied advice on the post, but not all of it neutral (some of those arguing to stay quiet are themselves cheaters)

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By *uncity1Man
over a year ago

dundee

some good advice , some bad , some indifferent ...

can I just say that now that you have put this dilemma out into fab world , everyone that does know you will all now be wondering who this guy is ??

just remember its a small world we live in ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd tell him you know him and know he's married. Don't have to say who you are. Although im figuring he probably already knows?

Leave it up to him to tell his wife. Lots of attached folk on this site. You just happen to know one.

It is a hard one and depends how close you are to his wife.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/04/16 07:55:03]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll tell her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will you keep us posted with the next instalment?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't tell her. I was in a situation I had a horrible gut feeling that something was off. Nothing happened between us but the next day I met my friend and baby and along came the previous nights meet......was his baby!

They are still together. He is still playing the field.

I think he about shits his pants each time he sees me chatting to her. Which is rare as I barely speak to her anymore....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know its a conundrum, its both the right and wrong thing to do at the same time, but if you value your friendship with her, don't tell her. Human nature can be strange and she will probably not believe you because she wont want to believe you, even if you present her with the proof. She will see you as the bad one and fall out with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nope keep quiet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's a horrible situation to be in!

I've thought about what I would do and it varies depending on which friend I'm using in the scenario.

All actions cause reactions!

I wish you well and hope somehow this burden is taken away from you without any direct involvement. Cheaters more often than not trip themselves up.

Keep us posted x

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By *bw6 OP Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Hi everyone .. Thanks again for all the advice it's very much appreciated. After lengthy discussions with my husband about what I should do I decided to say nothing and continue to support my friend through a very hard week.

At this stage she has confronted him and he's telling her it's a mix up and one of the guys at his gym is playing a prank!!!

And he's very convincing - it's taking me all my strength to hold my tongue.

Thankfully they have no kids and my friend can see right through him - she's confessed to me that he's had indiscretions before which they have worked through but this time she's done.

If I'm honest I'm very relieved she's being strong and at this time planning on leaving him on her own accord - I think this situation could have gone a lot of different ways.

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

I'm glad you dodged the bullet OP

Just be there for her and offer her support.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm glad you dodged the bullet OP

Just be there for her and offer her support.

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By *helma_richardsCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

Do I tell her - in turn admitting what myself and my hubby get up to, or do I keep quiet while he talks his way out of it??

I wonder if he'll reply on this thread?"

Exactly. Isn't he reading this now ?

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By *helma_richardsCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

"Arrange a dark room meeting with no chat in hotel, not at your place, u will find it one of the hottest sessions you have ever had.

Once he has gone either tell him 'that was a one off and will never happen again' or tell him 'come back anytime, but it will always be in darkness'!

Better idea. Invite them both to the same hotel room and stand well back

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