FabSwingers.com forum: Random Shit

By *ndykay OP Man
over a year ago

Falkirk

Let's talk random shit because I'm bored with the moans

Post all your random rubbish and talk gibberish all in one handy thread. Use it to vent that your supermarket didn't have the right cake or that your coffee was cold or just to admit that you love boobs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this not a rant thread in a different disguise ??

French fancies. ...imagine the supermarket being out of French fancies

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By *lawless doveWoman
over a year ago

bothwell

Apparently I'm no fun and too stuck up as I rejected a guy for repeatedly sending me cock pics.

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By *Carver-Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Apparently I'm no fun and too stuck up as I rejected a guy for repeatedly sending me cock pics."

What a tosspot.

Thread contribution : silver toast racks are the most useless object ever conceived. Let's make an expensive stand that does the exact same thing as a plate, but *only* for slices of toast. Meanwhile let's make it out of a highly conductive material and expose each slice's entire surface area to the ambient room temperature so they go cold as quickly as humanly possible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"silver toast racks are the most useless object ever conceived. Let's make an expensive stand that does the exact same thing as a plate, but *only* for slices of toast. Meanwhile let's make it out of a highly conductive material and expose each slice's entire surface area to the ambient room temperature so they go cold as quickly as humanly possible. "

Not quite the most useless thing ever concieved, as my contender for that title I give you.....

....diet water!! Yes it does actually exist and for some unknown reason people do buy it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not quite the most useless thing ever concieved, as my contender for that title I give you.....

....diet water!! Yes it does actually exist and for some unknown reason people do buy it."
is that the black water stuff?

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By *mudg3rMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

5 most useless things?

The Pope's balls and 3 cheers for the ref.

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By *ndykay OP Man
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Apparently I'm no fun and too stuck up as I rejected a guy for repeatedly sending me cock pics."

Awwwww come here for a furry hug ***HUG***

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By *ndykay OP Man
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Is this not a rant thread in a different disguise ??

French fancies. ...imagine the supermarket being out of French fancies

Or maybe it's because someone bought them all first thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is this not a rant thread in a different disguise ??

French fancies. ...imagine the supermarket being out of French fancies

What's wrong with Scottish Fancies? Bloody west end snobs....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Apparently I'm no fun and too stuck up as I rejected a guy for repeatedly sending me cock pics."
next time I'm gonna send you 2

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

"Apparently I'm no fun and too stuck up as I rejected a guy for repeatedly sending me cock pics.next time I'm gonna send you 2

You need to make sure it's yours though

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

I love boobs ( might get myself a new pair soon

)

Wish didn't have to defuzz so often body hair is a pest

I love boobies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love boobs ( might get myself a new pair soon

)

Wish didn't have to defuzz so often body hair is a pest

I love boobies"

I love boobs to although apart from my own I don't get to feel enough...ducks I hate ducks this war is taking it's toll I need a wingperson to help me in my quest but everyone wants to feed the ducks.i have to kill them afore they dominate the world...im lonely in my quest and you are all scaredy of the duck masters

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

"I love boobs ( might get myself a new pair soon

)

Wish didn't have to defuzz so often body hair is a pest

I love boobies

I'll eat as many as I can if their in a nice duck curry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love boobs ( might get myself a new pair soon

)

Wish didn't have to defuzz so often body hair is a pest

I love boobies

I'll eat as many as I can if their in a nice duck curry

No no no even in death the duck dna is dominant...have you not seen the duck pouts'..they all ate duck.....kill the ducks and burn them

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By *oody2shoesWoman
over a year ago

dunbartonshire

Feeling bit daft when ignoring someones texts and thinking haha its cool they wont know im blanking them only for them to whats app me to say uve been online for a hour why u ignoring my texts lol

After a quick 5 min of aww fuck all i could come up with is my signals down only working as im on wifi at min so not got ur texts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love boobs ( might get myself a new pair soon

)

Wish didn't have to defuzz so often body hair is a pest

I love boobies

I'll eat as many as I can if their in a nice duck curry

No no no even in death the duck dna is dominant...have you not seen the duck pouts'..they all ate duck.....kill the ducks and burn them"

I think your quest may already be Donald Ducked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm reminded of a cartoon strip I used to read"

"What the duck"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like upcycling and down hilling

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I like upcycling and down hilling

I second that and too add I love boob's and bums!

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By *ndykay OP Man
over a year ago

Falkirk

Love ladies boobs, bums, curves, wobbly bits, tiger stripes.....

Basically, I love ladies of all shapes and sizes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Love ladies boobs, bums, curves, wobbly bits, tiger stripes.....

Basically, I love ladies of all shapes and sizes

And...bloody glad we are for it, Furry!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't like iceberg lettuce.

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By *alnsanCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

I (mr) prefer to go into supermarkets & walk with empty trolly to furthest corner in shop & work my way backwards towards door, mrs thinks i'm a weirdo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you know there is a supermarket policy that you are meant to go one way in there shops. I will keep you guessing which company it is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had a copious amount of red wine!

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

"I have had a copious amount of red wine!

Lies all lies no spelling mistakes or slurring of words

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have had a copious amount of red wine!

Lies all lies no spelling mistakes or slurring of words

I was very careful!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tesco have reductions on Viagra ..

Grab yourself a bargain ..

Not only does it double your Erection ..it also doubles your Clubcard points ...lol

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By *ndykay OP Man
over a year ago

Falkirk

Boobies

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

Its fecking SNOWING here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just looked out window and seen some bugger trying to steal my gate....

Didn't want to say anything incase he to a fence...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im nearly home. I'm going to revel in the football result from last night by watching the highlights that I recorded

Wait there's no rant. Sorry. Um......

Bloody students!!

Mr J

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do pear drops come in yellow and a pinky colour? Both taste the same to me .....anyone know? ?

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

Why is it women go to the toilet in pairs it's OK but when I go to the toilet in pears the greengrocer flings me out

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By *ndykay OP Man
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Why do pear drops come in yellow and a pinky colour? Both taste the same to me .....anyone know? ?

You're buying the wrong ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why do pear drops come in yellow and a pinky colour? Both taste the same to me .....anyone know? ?

You're buying the wrong ones

What??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like a nice pair.(Drops).

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

How do they handcuff a 1 arm bandit ??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do they handcuff a 1 arm bandit ??

By his ankles

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

"How do they handcuff a 1 arm bandit ??

By his ankles"

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By *lawless doveWoman
over a year ago

bothwell

The Romans used to clean and whiten their teeth with urine. Apparently it works. Please don't do it, though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tried a new tapas restaurant in Glasgow today, it's not the best

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

I tried a tapass got a skelp in the jaw

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you know there is 10,000 lion statues in London and there is only 20,000 in the wild .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We need to protect all these wild statues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm eating a stock of rock right now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

"What was the best thing before sliced bread? "

A roll

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Getting called a Wanker is nothing to be ashamed of it's just a shorter name for a masturbator.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How does a guide dog know which shop to go to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stewardesses' is the longest word typed with only the left hand... might be useful to know here... aherm

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What makes you think any guy here uses more than one hand to type?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What makes you think any guy here uses more than one hand to type? "

I read it on a forum post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh and 'lollipop' is the longest one you type with your right... just in case one hand gets tired...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A ratchet.....is a lot bigger than a moose shit!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jelly tots and ice cream are great together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jelly tots and ice cream are great together

You told me it was Jelly Tits...

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By *yldstyleWoman
over a year ago

A world of my own

I've had a rubbish night. My car is looking a bit bashed. I'm not long home from work its been a 14 hour day.

There is no one to hug me and tell me tomorrow will be better.

And I've been given a massive lecture by my aunt.

Do I win a prize?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jelly tots and ice cream are great together

You told me it was Jelly Tits...

You weren't meant to tell everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Jelly tots and ice cream are great together

You told me it was Jelly Tits...

You weren't meant to tell everyone

You should have patented it when I said.

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By *ickstributerMan
over a year ago

Ocala/Belleview/

Commercials for toilet paper.... Why? Who's Not buying this..? Or..

Artificial knee caps for penguins: medically necessary,or insurance company scam..?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A duck knocked my front tooth out yesterday ??

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By *ingerTwistWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I sometimes pop home from work for lunch and regularly get incandescent with rage that I can't park on my street for commuters using my road as a park and ride. It's minor I know but it irrationally infuriates me to the point of swearing loudly every time.

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

Same in most bigger towns and cities sadly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I need a fucking rant! Broke my fucking wrist yesterday, all in all this is the combined 8th time Iv broken either my right wrist or my right hand. Now whilst I'm fine to use my left for work and to write etc there's two things that I always forget were the hardest to do. One is making a cup of tea! Seriously try it, use your other hand to fill the kettle and pour it then do the milk etc. Messy.

The other is wiping my arse after a plop, again I suggest you try it (your own arse not mine). Nearly fell off the pan this morning, balance was like that of a newly born giraffe...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 20/04/16 16:58:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I need a fucking rant! Broke my fucking wrist yesterday, all in all this is the combined 8th time Iv broken either my right wrist or my right hand. Now whilst I'm fine to use my left for work and to write etc there's two things that I always forget were the hardest to do. One is making a cup of tea! Seriously try it, use your other hand to fill the kettle and pour it then do the milk etc. Messy.

The other is wiping my arse after a plop, again I suggest you try it (your own arse not mine). Nearly fell off the pan this morning, balance was like that of a newly born giraffe..."

But congrats on some excellent typing... but maybe you are kinna good at one handed typing anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The other is wiping my arse after a plop, again I suggest you try it (your own arse not mine). Nearly fell off the pan this morning, balance was like that of a newly born giraffe..."

I'm sorry but I laughed! I broke my fingers once and I swear the worst bit was the after toilet cleaning! That and continually forgetting I had broken fingers and attempting to use them causing extreme pain!

By the way, what the hell are you doing to break it 8 times!?! Do you not learn from your mistakes!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But congrats on some excellent typing... but maybe you are kinna good at one handed typing anyway

I may have occasionally browsed the interwebs videos with my left hand whilst my right was busy..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

By the way, what the hell are you doing to break it 8 times!?! Do you not learn from your mistakes!?"

The wrist and hand are just very weak with the damages over the years,

1 - broke knuckle when I was a ned at 13

2 - broke wrist when saving a penalty (don't laugh)

3 - broke wrist in judo

4 - broke wrist at work by a fall

5 - broke 9 bones in my right hand, I now have a pin in place

6 - small bone breaks in the hand (hadn't properly healed)

7 - fracture to wrist after having to slam the brakes on the car (seriously Urgh)

8 - 2 small bones at the ball joint

break when I picked up my tool bag, just snapped.

Nurse said to me yesterday that if I was a dog the bet would just amputate the paw!!! Then I'd never get to wipe my arse properly!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Chickens are not Mammals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Today, I have been mostly eating...cereal.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Today I have mostly been a domestic goddess

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Today I have mostly been a domestic goddess

Sorry about that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Today I have mostly been a domestic goddess

Sorry about that!

You could have popped over to do the hoovering. ....I would have made you a cuppa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Today I have mostly been a domestic goddess

Sorry about that!

You could have popped over to do the hoovering. ....I would have made you a cuppa

Don't be silly, everybody knows the the instructions for hoovers are written in woman, and men can't translate it!

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