FabSwingers.com forum: Name and shame

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think that if you can verify someone as genuine then you should also be allowed to name and shame too.

After a conversation last night with a young boy I said thanks but no thanks. He then messages today to say that he hopes I die cause I'm a fat smelly cow.

I've reported and blocked but there should be a way to warn others of this vile creature.

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By *lawless doveWoman
over a year ago

bothwell

"I think that if you can verify someone as genuine then you should also be allowed to name and shame too.

After a conversation last night with a young boy I said thanks but no thanks. He then messages today to say that he hopes I die cause I'm a fat smelly cow.

I've reported and blocked but there should be a way to warn others of this vile creature. "

That's shocking. Hope the admins do something about this. Sadly there are too much keyboard warriors on this site who write horrible messages but wishing someone to die is really horrendous

You have a great figure and I'm sure a beautiful person.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The thing is he's a friend of someone I have met before and it now has me thinking hmmmm maybe I don't want to see him again if that's the company he keeps...

I've been here a looooooong time but I've never had someone wishes I died cause I rejected him.

Awww thanks for saying so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And, I forgot to mention on my other post (thread is up twice?!), I agree with the other poster above,- you look great x

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By *lawless doveWoman
over a year ago

bothwell

"The thing is he's a friend of someone I have met before and it now has me thinking hmmmm maybe I don't want to see him again if that's the company he keeps...

I've been here a looooooong time but I've never had someone wishes I died cause I rejected him.

Awww thanks for saying so

That really does complicate things. Was in a similar situation a few months back. Guy I was seeing was also seeing another woman from here but she started giving me hassle. Told him but he didn't believe me. Just walked away as deserve to be treated better.

Tell him what's happened that's my advice xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeah I did. He's apologised three times for his mates message.

I don't get what this guy hoped to achieve though. Was he expecting me to be like " come back, love me. I'm sorry let's have sex" hahaha. He's only proved that my spidey senses were right.

My point is though, if I name and shame him then admin get arsey with me. There should be a way to warn others that this is the kind of behaviour this child hits out with and to avoid.

Like a public service announcement. Lmao. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The guy is just an arsehole who you shouldn't pay any attention to, but to punish someone else because he knows that person isn't right either.

The company people keep, the way someone types, the way someone dresses is in no way a reflection on who someone is, not to be a dick about it but you ladies on fab need to calm down with all that stuff.

You do look great so don't pay attention

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sweetie you always get a few numpties that ruin things for everyone. He obviously cant handle rejection and that is the best he can do. Dodged a bullet anyway by telling him no by the looks of it. Delete. Block and forget the fool. Dont listen to his pish either you look fantastic from the pics you have and who cares what dim-witted clowns think xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow ur pics are lovely

I think curves is more beautiful anyway

As others have said don't let this one guy put u off and ruin it for others

Don't be down heartened as the knows fat outweigh the decent guys in here

Personally I would name and shame

I did it once 5 day ban or something

Get kik and get ur closest pals on it lol

Warn others is my advice

He is probably married the guy x

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

You can verify someone as a nasty horrible person...... they wont show it but the options there.naming and shaming is slightly diffrent. Naming and shaming is so open to abuse and can you just imagine if it was allowed lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that if you can verify someone as genuine then you should also be allowed to name and shame too.

After a conversation last night with a young boy I said thanks but no thanks. He then messages today to say that he hopes I die cause I'm a fat smelly cow.

I've reported and blocked but there should be a way to warn others of this vile creature. "

Just fabbed one of your pics right now

if he sent that message then you simply click the "report" button and then the "ignore" button

ofcourse you can discretely pass word to your friends of who the person is

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"I think that if you can verify someone as genuine then you should also be allowed to name and shame too.

After a conversation last night with a young boy I said thanks but no thanks. He then messages today to say that he hopes I die cause I'm a fat smelly cow.

I've reported and blocked but there should be a way to warn others of this vile creature. "
I could write a book about the nasty things said about me and to me .

Hold your head high girl and don't give them a 2nd though the truth about them will come out in the end.

And as others said just because your friends with someone they are friends with too should not reflect on them were all responsible for our own actions no one else's. Xx

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Naming and shaming is so open to abuse which is why its not allowed.

Just ignore the idiots and try to find the nice ones. They're out there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After I turned down his offer of money, this idiot decides to send an abusive message. I kept the messages and reported him to admin. He's still on here too.

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"The guy is just an arsehole who you shouldn't pay any attention to, but to punish someone else because he knows that person isn't right either"

Agree with this, he's a silly little boy who you shouldn't give time of day to. It's really not worth stressing about.

Practically on a daily basis there's a thread on naming and shaming, use the forum search box to find them and you'll see why it's a bad idea.

Plus we do have an unofficial name and shame - people here tell their friends to watch out for someone undesirable.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 13/04/16 09:35:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thing is that it isn't just one silly wee arse, there are far too many people who think it's ok to be abusive.

We get told to block and report but there are always more and I'd like the site to deal with these people better as I really don't think anything gets done

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Inviting people to ask the details is thriving on the drama of it all.

There are horrible people in life, horrible people in swinging.

Block, report and leave it there.

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"Thing is that it isn't just one silly wee arse, there are far too many people who think it's ok to be abusive.

We get told to block and report but there are always more and I'd like the site to deal with these people better as I really don't think anything gets done"

Yes there are always more, just as there are in everyday life. You can choose whether or not to engage though.

I really don't know what admin are expected to do about it - inter_iew every single person who creates a profile?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thing is that it isn't just one silly wee arse, there are far too many people who think it's ok to be abusive.

We get told to block and report but there are always more and I'd like the site to deal with these people better as I really don't think anything gets done

Yes there are always more, just as there are in everyday life. You can choose whether or not to engage though.

I really don't know what admin are expected to do about it - inter_iew every single person who creates a profile?

Strangers don't randomly abuse me in the street!

It's not the point of engaging as I do block and report but nothing appears to get done so these people keep on doing it.

They need to clamp down on these people who think it's ok to abuse strangers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If Fabswingers introduced a "Name and Shame" ...There would be no one on the site.

Someones idea of a fake could be someones genuine.

Whenever the site began over 9 years ago it would have been a little bit easier if it had introduced a "Vetting System".It may or may not have worked ..Who knows..

Fabswingers is probably not a place for hanging dirty washing .

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"Thing is that it isn't just one silly wee arse, there are far too many people who think it's ok to be abusive.

We get told to block and report but there are always more and I'd like the site to deal with these people better as I really don't think anything gets done

Yes there are always more, just as there are in everyday life. You can choose whether or not to engage though.

I really don't know what admin are expected to do about it - inter_iew every single person who creates a profile?

Strangers don't randomly abuse me in the street!

It's not the point of engaging as I do block and report but nothing appears to get done so these people keep on doing it.

They need to clamp down on these people who think it's ok to abuse strangers "

And how do you suggest that? Genuine question.

There are a lot of threads on various topics saying admin should do this and that, yet no suggestions on how to improve the situation. This is our site too, if anyone has some ideas that they think might actually work, then suggest them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im thinking time outs from using the site starting with 24 hours then increasing until a 3strikes and you are out, profile disabled

In my opinion nothing gets done at all and it sends the message that it's ok to abuse other members as all they will do is block

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Ok, so that's reaction to someone's action. But that doesn't stop those people becoming abusive in the first place, which is where the problem lies yes?

So how can admin anticipate that someone is going to be abusive? They can't.

Plus a profile deletion just means they'll come back with another one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it doesn't stop them but at the moment they can hop about and be abusive to as many people as they like .. No deterrent

Making up new profiles every other day will become boring

Do you think it's acceptable and we should just accept nasty messages?

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"No it doesn't stop them but at the moment they can hop about and be abusive to as many people as they like .. No deterrent

Making up new profiles every other day will become boring

Do you think it's acceptable and we should just accept nasty messages?"

No, I don't. But I can't think of a cast iron way to stop them. All we can do is use the tools that are available to us until a better alternative appears

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By *ortland51Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

No one can stop how people choose to behave or act. The biggest weapon anyone ever has when someone does behave like this, is how you personally control the situation.

In this case, you did the best thing you could by reporting and blocking. That's all you can do and you took control of the issue.

Sadly, it might not be the last time this happens to you (and others), but you've dealt with it in the most effective possible way you could have.

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By *yan19Man
over a year ago

NLC

I've only read the top message and I see women saying this all the time what is it with you men! Treat women with respect and talk to them how you would want someone to talk to you very disappointing to see someone harasse women it's a site to meet if the women isn't intrested take it on the chin and move on

sorry for the a****** yous have to deal with they are just jealous a beautiful women with a very good body and personality isn't intrested

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

maybe they do a 3 strikes and you are out, that is once they have looked at both sides of any email exchange between parties. Just because someone reports something, doesn't mean it is actually factual in the context they state.

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By *lawless doveWoman
over a year ago

bothwell

Be so much easier if admin allowed screenshots to be included within you public pics even setting a time limit on how long they stay. This allows people who get abusive / threatening messages to post the evidence for others to see and make an informed decision

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"I've only read the top message and I see women saying this all the time what is it with you men! Treat women with respect and talk to them how you would want someone to talk to you very disappointing to see someone harasse women it's a site to meet if the women isn't intrested take it on the chin and move on

sorry for the a****** yous have to deal with they are just jealous a beautiful women with a very good body and personality isn't intrested

I can guarantee that the abusive idiots aren't even aware that there's a forum, never mind use it and read posts about how they should stop being twats lol

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"Be so much easier if admin allowed screenshots to be included within you public pics even setting a time limit on how long they stay. This allows people who get abusive / threatening messages to post the evidence for others to see and make an informed decision "

I have seen that actually, when looking through 'today's pics'. That's still breaking site rules though, and I wouldn't be inclined to meet either party involved if they did that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"maybe they do a 3 strikes and you are out, that is once they have looked at both sides of any email exchange between parties. Just because someone reports something, doesn't mean it is actually factual in the context they state."

I completely agree that both sides should be looked at. As well as abusive people there are also some spiteful people unfortunately

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By *lawless doveWoman
over a year ago

bothwell

I have seen that actually, when looking through 'today's pics'. That's still breaking site rules though, and I wouldn't be inclined to meet either party involved if they did that."

I tried to do it once and pic was rejected. I was blocked from checking the guys profile but know he is still on here. I know there have been many forum posts about naming and shaming and I'm not totally in favour however there does need to be a better way in dealing with the threats, wishing people to die or get a horrendous medical condition.

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

If people behaved like adults then yes it would be an option ...it also wouldn't then actually be required lol . We all know it would be used in spite and childish tit for tat. I feel there's enough of that made up drama with out adding to it .

You did right thing by reporting.Just forget it and enjoy intetactions with the many lovely folks on here .

As for guy you know ....he's only responsible for his own action not those of his fud friend . So not fair to stop your contact with as you said a very decent guy . Hes done nothing yet has apologised 3 times ...I feel sorry for him being made to feel he has to keep apologising. Give the lad a wee break you know he's one of the good ones .x

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

I have seen that actually, when looking through 'today's pics'. That's still breaking site rules though, and I wouldn't be inclined to meet either party involved if they did that.

That kind of behaviour says more about them than it does about anyone else. I just block and don't give them a second thought.

There's a guy on here who had a fake couple profile. He claimed to know where I work, I didn't recognise him. C was chatting to the couple profile, I told him it was fake. Then because he didn't answer a couple of messages my work address was posted in the status update, for about 45 mins.

I reported both profiles, the couples one was deleted but the single male profile is still here and on our block list. I warned our friends, then got on with my day. I refuse to let an idiot like that bother me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this is the kind of shit that is just part of life now. It's not just on sites like this. You look at comments on political arrticals of football match reports and it's just pure hate and vitriol.

If you go to the Guardian site today you'll see that a minister is calling for an overhaul of online abuse laws. While a good idea, This could be seen as a bit dangerous as the more control means the less anonymity you have, which is pretty important (I feel) on sites like this.

The think I try remember is that those abusing must have terrible sad lifes that will never improve with out a great deal of support from mental health workers. Sadly this type of support is getting cut by a ruthless Tory government, this combined with the poorest standards of education in years mean that there is not much hope for the abusers. So just pity them, move on and have a fab time!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Total true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't worry gas will come to the rescue.Once I've conquered this duck hoard I shall set my sites on this very topic as my next war.Patience good ladies.im a coming to help

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By *ripleXrateDWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

The problem with admin blocking some idiots account is they'll just set up another one. I know it can be upsetting receiving abuse but all you can do is report and block.

I agree with everyone else here o.p you are gorgeous don't let a freak like that guy ruin your day xxxx.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The OP's horrible experience does make me wonder why anybody would make the leap of faith and allow for a trust to be built by way of messaging here. And the extent to which single men are, understandably, looked upon with suspicion.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"The OP's horrible experience does make me wonder why anybody would make the leap of faith and allow for a trust to be built by way of messaging here. And the extent to which single men are, understandably, looked upon with suspicion."
This is not sex specific some women and couples can dish out just as much as any single guy

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I did think like that once.... then I observed the behaviours of woman, couples and guys over the years and I now think, 'no different, some of each just thrive on the drama of the site and what it offers, the attention it gives them and the opportunity to be a complete cock/fanny/one of each'....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have named and shamed on my status a couple of times. I don't do it to be nasty but to warn other women not to waste their time. Abusive messages are not acceptable and neither is being stood up. I used to always give guys the benefit of the doubt, sadly tho I don't now as I have been proved wrong far too many times x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Being what i would like to think a sensible and equal opportunities type of person istn't there meant to be two sides of a story.

As i have been in situtations on here with the opposite sex that i would love to name & shame but have thought better of it as it would be frowned upon and not the right thing to do but i don't condone people who do do it as this is on there own head if they do .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may have had a few nasty messages, but the vast percentage of my messages have been really nice, and I've been lucky enough to have some amazing meets...I just hope that the wankers don't put off the good guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sticks & stones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well said Batman ..

The Forum seems to be a dumping ground for negativies.Idiots thrive on drama ..

There is a solition to abusive message ..USE THE BLOCK BUTTON ..

Sorry ...but i just want to take this opertunity ..im horny as feck these days ..HELP ..lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The problem with naming and shaming, is you only get one side of a story. The person doing the naming and shaming becomes jury, judge and executioner all in one go. Best just to report, block and forget. (Mr)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just report block and move on and. Be thankful I didn't meet them.

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By *oungmaleformatureMan
over a year ago

glasgow

That's horrible I found you really good to talk to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The OP's horrible experience does make me wonder why anybody would make the leap of faith and allow for a trust to be built by way of messaging here. And the extent to which single men are, understandably, looked upon with suspicion.This is not sex specific some women and couples can dish out just as much as any single guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been called so many horrible names in the past it's untrue. But hey, they will get what's coming to them - a big zero sex session cos they are immature little twats with no manners.

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By *othingButCocoChanelWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Yes i got threatened the other day for not replying to a snide message from a 35 year old. Was told he will give me abuse to my face at cjs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes i got threatened the other day for not replying to a snide message from a 35 year old. Was told he will give me abuse to my face at cjs "

Theres a young guy gives similar abuse ... He has another new profile this week

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By *othingButCocoChanelWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Yes i got threatened the other day for not replying to a snide message from a 35 year old. Was told he will give me abuse to my face at cjs

Theres a young guy gives similar abuse ... He has another new profile this week

Some other guy ages ago told me i was getting slapped in cjs.. just for not responding lol

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By *dmirationMan
over a year ago

Bathgate

Reporting dont always work. we got this for saying thanks not our type: I think your fucked up if you share partners yous obviously don't love each other and should have a good look at yourselves and your disgusting sleazy lives! Goodbye sickos.

We reported hime a few day back now and it is still on fab!!!!! so Reporting dont work

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By *ary_ArgyllMan
over a year ago

Argyll

Name and shame will just lead to endless recriminations - best just to ignore such ignorant and immature people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think that if you can verify someone as genuine then you should also be allowed to name and shame too.

After a conversation last night with a young boy I said thanks but no thanks. He then messages today to say that he hopes I die cause I'm a fat smelly cow.

I've reported and blocked but there should be a way to warn others of this vile creature. "

Get some right horrible bstrds in this world eh.

My ex used to tell me to die all the time hope your chopper crashes on way back from work etc and that was someone who's supposed to love you. She was a cheat anyway...btch lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's horrible I found you really good to talk to."

What!,,,

You were talking to her too? Thought it was just me

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