FabSwingers.com forum: abuse

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Normally on here women talk about the abuse they get from guys, but let's change that & let's talk about the abuse guys get from women.

In the past I have took the advice from friends on here & from some people I've spoken to for a bit, the advice was to just mail some people, becuase usually I don't mail anyone I have the theory that if someone on here likes me they'll let me know, that's how it's happened in the past.

But against my better judgement I tried this new approach, in the past 7 days I have mailed 20 women.

I was polite, I introduced myself, I sent pictures, but out of those 20 women 1 read & deleted which is fine rude but fine, 2 read but never replied again rude but fine but 17 women replied with abuse, & not just fuck off that I could have dealt with but insulting me, and I know I shouldn't take it personally but when people take the time to write a big long speech on how much you make them sick becuase your not good enough for them it kinda gets under your skin.

I don't know what guys say to women on here but why is it when women decide to give abuse they've got to be cruel?

Whys it so hard just to say no thank you?

I get messages every day from gay/bi guys and I always reply just to say no thanks sometimes I have a wee chat with them after it. It's not a hassle & I would never dream about saying shit to someone to make them feel shit or bad about themselves.

I could rant more about it but I won't, guys comment ur experience's with female abuse below

Btw I realise it's not all women I have had women in the past just mail me and say thanks but your not what I'm looking for & good luck, there are decent women but so far for me the bad far FAR outweigh the good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry u've had that experience. I never give abuse on here what's the point. Just block them. Chin up and hope u find what ur looking for xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry u've had that experience. I never give abuse on here what's the point. Just block them. Chin up and hope u find what ur looking for xx"

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By *eather47Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I never do either and folk that only reply with abuse just block them they aint worth the time and bother

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I never do either and folk that only reply with abuse just block them they aint worth the time and bother

"
would have but they all blocked me straight away before i could reply

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never abuse. ..it's not needed x

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By *atex and KinkCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Look at it this way...

You got a mouth full of abuse.. If a woman is that up herself, would you really want to go there.......

I would say, you've ed out the bunny boiler physco nut jobs.

Blocking is a little rude, but people use the block for various reasons. Ducks back!

Your doing the right thing. Sensibly attempting to make contact with like minded individuals.

As long as you read the profile, reference the profile in your message and don't make nuisance off yourself keep doing what your doing.

It's what fab is for.

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

If you got abuse then report them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Look at it this way...

You got a mouth full of abuse.. If a woman is that up herself, would you really want to go there.......

I would say, you've ed out the bunny boiler physco nut jobs.

Blocking is a little rude, but people use the block for various reasons. Ducks back!

Your doing the right thing. Sensibly attempting to make contact with like minded individuals.

As long as you read the profile, reference the profile in your message and don't make nuisance off yourself keep doing what your doing.

It's what fab is for.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I never abuse. ..it's not needed x "

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If you got abuse then report them "
dont like reporting people, wouldn't achieve anything. If they were kicked off fab theyed just join back up.

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

"If you got abuse then report them dont like reporting people, wouldn't achieve anything. If they were kicked off fab theyed just join back up.

Well that's why the report button is there.... But look at it this way... You got 17 replies which is more than most guys seem to get

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some nasty people out here, 7 times out of 10 thought when ive told a guy no i have had some sort of abuse, im fat, im ugly, he only messaged me coz he was desperate its crappy i used to take offence now i just abuse back then block lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Two words, no need!

I find it shocking that you'd receive that level of abuse. From what I can tell about you on forums etc I can only imagine your messages to the ladies are nothing short of polite & exactly the kind of messages you would hope to receive from a person.

My experience as a single was more along the lines of, for every 50 messages, 2 polite no thanks, 1 chat possibly leading to something bit possibly nothing, about 20 read & not replied to & the rest just deleted (some read some not) but I didn't ever get abuse back.

There was one woman one time who took time out of her day to respond to something I said on forums telling me I was what was wrong with fab & blocked me. I was most irritated by being blocked without being able to reply or defend myself.

People need to learn that the old nursery rhyme isn't true. Words hurt.

Mr J

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By *appy 2 lickMan
over a year ago

lanarkshire

Ms diva how could anyone say that to you I just looked at your pictures mmmmm hot hot hot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats how i never send messages to females or even couples on here out of the blue,unless their looking for messages if theyve advertised for a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another angle you may not have looked at is this, maybe the accounts were fake and just some guy thinking its funny to send abuse...

Regardless of male or female it says a lot about the person and how many issues, hurt and pain they are in over who you are!

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By *dlilbumCouple
over a year ago

Aviemore and regularly visit Glasgow

"Another angle you may not have looked at is this, maybe the accounts were fake and just some guy thinking its funny to send abuse...

Regardless of male or female it says a lot about the person and how many issues, hurt and pain they are in over who you are!"

I was about to question how many of them were actually female too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Abuse is never right, whatever form it takes, or whoever it comes from.

It's basically modern society's social media syndrome. Because people are faceless and hiding behind a screen, they are brave enough to dish out abuse and harsh comments. Whereas in reality, they would likely do no such thing when face to face with anyone. Little more than cowards.

The best thing is obviously to report, block and move on. Although, we're only human, things can get under our skin from time to time.

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By *ripleXrateDWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"Normally on here women talk about the abuse they get from guys, but let's change that & let's talk about the abuse guys get from women.

But against my better judgement I tried this new approach, in the past 7 days I have mailed 20 women.

I don't know what guys say to women on here but why is it when women decide to give abuse they've got to be cruel?

Whys it so hard just to say no thank you?

I could rant more about it but I won't, guys comment ur experience's with female abuse below

If you were nice and polite tgen it was undeserved. Unfortunately some people are just not that nice. Black them and move on and don't be scared to mail females. 17 out of 20 is pretty high I think you just got unlucky xxxxx

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

No form of abuse is right whether it be from male or female.

These people would never do it face to face in the real world but then again who knows maybe they would .

Simply report and block I know that's easy said than done because I know from experience that sometimes that infuriates some people even more and they then use other tactics like setting up profiles pretending to be you so people think your the abuser and not them all pretty sad really .

Op keep going I'm sure you'll find a wee gem or two they are about and waiting to be found ...good luck xx

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Out of 20 messages 1 deleted, 2 read but didn't reply and 17 sent abuse?

Sounds rather far fetched - I'd be more likely to believe that 17 deleted or didn't reply.

If that's the truth it makes me wonder firstly what you're sending that makes such a high percentage respond with rudeness, or what kind of people you messaged in the first place.

There's no need to give anyone abuse, if they don't like the message delete and block, it's not hard. Keyboard warriors, they would never dream of speaking to someone's face like that.

There's also nothing wrong with reading a message and not responding, or deleting it because you're not interested. The FAQs state this clearly. Makes me wonder how many people actually read them.

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By *ustcantgetenuf50Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Look at it this way...

You got a mouth full of abuse.. If a woman is that up herself, would you really want to go there.......

I would say, you've ed out the bunny boiler physco nut jobs.

Blocking is a little rude, but people use the block for various reasons. Ducks back!

Your doing the right thing. Sensibly attempting to make contact with like minded individuals.

As long as you read the profile, reference the profile in your message and don't make nuisance off yourself keep doing what your doing.

It's what fab is for.

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By *atekatWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

Yes I've had that lots of times...at least I now know I'm not the only one. Definitely no need to be abusive to folks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be over the moon to get abuse. At least it would mean they replied.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get over it. Plenty more fish in the sea and all that jazz.no point wasting your time with nasty folks. In the time I have been on here I have met some fantastic people. And maybe 2not so nice

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By *ustcantgetenuf50Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"No form of abuse is right whether it be from male or female.

These people would never do it face to face in the real world but then again who knows maybe they would .

Op keep going I'm sure you'll find a wee gem or two they are about and waiting to be found ...good luck xx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd be over the moon to get abuse. At least it would mean they replied.

Lol totally agree with this sentiment. And from the ones who do reply so blow really hot n cold

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

17 Women out of the 20 gave you abuse ?

Exaggeration springs too mind.

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By *ab femWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

That is a lot of abuse. You've got to be picking the wrong sort of women to get that much abuse back. Just laugh it off cult, they don't know you so who cares. They are the ones with the problem if they feel the need to hurl abuse at a stranger.

As for not replying. I don't reply to guys I'm not interested in for the simple reason that if I do then they can get through my single guy filters when I have them on. If I replied to everyone there would be no point in the filter because they could all still message me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most Women who don't reply simply because they are either not interested or don't want to encourage another message.

A lot of Guys on here don't take rejection too well.....If someone doesn't reply you'd be better taking it as a NO.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That is a lot of abuse. You've got to be picking the wrong sort of women to get that much abuse back. Just laugh it off cult, they don't know you so who cares. They are the ones with the problem if they feel the need to hurl abuse at a stranger.

I now understand the no reply bit after being shown the amount of mail you beautiful ladies receive on a daily basis and am totally respectful of that. What frustrates me however are the ones you chat with. Strike up a rapport then just delete all mails. Be friendlier to say no longer interested or only being polite in answering before

Agh look at me being a moaning Minnie. Think I need a darkened sauna somewhere

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By *ab femWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Agh look at me being a moaning Minnie. Think I need a darkened sauna somewhere "

I had to check that we hadn't chatted

It would be friendlier. I guess it's just too easy to ignore the people you don't want to chat to when it's online. To be perfectly honest I can be bad for doing that

Sorry everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agh look at me being a moaning Minnie. Think I need a darkened sauna somewhere

I had to check that we hadn't chatted

It would be friendlier. I guess it's just too easy to ignore the people you don't want to chat to when it's online. To be perfectly honest I can be bad for doing that

Sorry everyone

I've not yet had the pleasure Ms fem I may need to drop you a wee message in the next day or so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ms diva how could anyone say that to you I just looked at your pictures mmmmm hot hot hot

Thank you very much

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we all have a duty to report abuse. Otherwise how can admin build up a picture. No one should have to suffer it...but I have to say 17 messages stretches my credulity further than my knicker elastic I'm afraid.

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By *atex and KinkCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Look at it this way...

You got a mouth full of abuse.. If a woman is that up herself, would you really want to go there.......

I would say, you've ed out the bunny boiler physco nut jobs.

Blocking is a little rude, but people use the block for various reasons. Ducks back!

Your doing the right thing. Sensibly attempting to make contact with like minded individuals.

As long as you read the profile, reference the profile in your message and don't make nuisance off yourself keep doing what your doing.

It's what fab is for.

Yeah, I should point out that, as another has stated above. How many profiles are just fakers...

No need for abuse in any situation... Unless you like humilation and degradation, in which enjoy the Wank material!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have always endeavoured to answer all messages but responses vary from;-

1. A very polite thank you please/keep me in mind

2. Abuse when at some point in the next few messages you point out you don't wish to meet. This one tends to make you think a non response to messages is best but then you see all the guys who would like a reply as they think it's rude and I would concur. Manners cost nothing I and I always try to be polite no matter what their attitude is. Just because some have no manners there is no reason for me to drop MY standards.

3. If you do reply some think they can then persuade you because you have spoken to them for a few messages.

In any case as said above there in no excuse for abuse or rudeness and it's best to ignore and think you were lucky not to meet such people as there is NO EXCUSE for it in either sex.

C'est la vie and I am not sure you will ever solve the problem on here either.

For what it's worth it sounds like you did everything right so good luck

Red

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the replys, I would reply to each one but there's too many.

But thanks for the advice it's appreciated.

As far fetched as it may seem sadly it is true, but after reading some of the posts I'm now thinking possibly most of them could have been guys pretending to be women, that had never crossed my mind.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh and the problem alot of them had was that !y messages were too short, I'm not a wordsmith & not great at talking hence why I try not to mail people & one of the biggest reasons for not going to socials

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I have always said: fall out with 1 woman on here and you more than likely fall out with 2/3 by default

the silly sisterhood effect

All abuse is reportable

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Out of 20 messages 1 deleted, 2 read but didn't reply and 17 sent abuse?

Sounds rather far fetched - I'd be more likely to believe that 17 deleted or didn't reply.

was beginnig to think I was the only one that thought this belonged on the fantasy thread

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"Out of 20 messages 1 deleted, 2 read but didn't reply and 17 sent abuse?

Sounds rather far fetched - I'd be more likely to believe that 17 deleted or didn't reply.

was beginnig to think I was the only one that thought this belonged on the fantasy thread

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By *earded blossomCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Oh and the problem alot of them had was that !y messages were too short, I'm not a wordsmith & not great at talking hence why I try not to mail people & one of the biggest reasons for not going to socials"

I think you'd do ok at a social, you seem to be liked well enough on the forums. I totally didn't think they'd be my thing, turned out I was wrong

K x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Out of 20 messages 1 deleted, 2 read but didn't reply and 17 sent abuse?

Sounds rather far fetched - I'd be more likely to believe that 17 deleted or didn't reply.

was beginnig to think I was the only one that thought this belonged on the fantasy thread

"
then u all really underestimate people on this site lol was over the course of a week, next time I get that many I'll be sure to screenshot them all and send them to you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/03/16 19:32:41]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think you'd do ok at a social, you seem to be liked well enough on the forums. I totally didn't think they'd be my thing, turned out I was wrong

K x"
lol I don't ID sit quietly in a corner and just listen to other people talk,

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By *ustcantgetenuf50Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I think you'd do ok at a social, you seem to be liked well enough on the forums. I totally didn't think they'd be my thing, turned out I was wrong

K xlol I don't ID sit quietly in a corner and just listen to other people talk, "

Nothing wrong with that OP, that's what I do, sit quietly in corner with my lemonade shandy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You would be lucky too send 20 messages in a week and get 17 replies no matter if its abuse or not .

125% of people om here exaggerate

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think you'd do ok at a social, you seem to be liked well enough on the forums. I totally didn't think they'd be my thing, turned out I was wrong

K xlol I don't ID sit quietly in a corner and just listen to other people talk,

Nothing wrong with that OP, that's what I do, sit quietly in corner with my lemonade shandy

"
don't think people would take kindly to me showing up in ma trackies and a hoodie though

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You would be lucky too send 20 messages in a week and get 17 replies no matter if its abuse or not .

125% of people om here exaggerate

"
well unfortunately it is true, am glad you've neverexperiencedd getting that much abuse but it does happen.

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