FabSwingers.com forum: Intimidating ...

By *yldstyle OP Woman
over a year ago

A world of my own

Like all women on here I get a lot of messages. There are some men I look at and think wow. Then I look at their profile and I'm soon scared off by the number of far hotter woman than me to have verified them. I instantly think I'm not their type.

How do you get past this?

How do you train yourself not to care?

And does everyone feel like this at some point?

I'm probably missing out on lots because I can't punch above my weight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if it's something that you're aware of you'll always care about it.

I'm guilty of it and try not to let it bother me but after having had a knock to my confidence I'm finding it really hard to arrange meets now. I just don't feel good enough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can be a very hard feeling to get past, and the same could probably be said for how alot of guys feel on here.

The way I see it, if it's someone that's already messaged you then chances are they've already seen something in you that's sparked their interest enough. Some people have a very varied taste too, so someone they've already met might not look anything like you, but that's not to say that he doesn't like both.

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By *ab femWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

For me I show clear photos of my body so people can decide for theirselves if they are attracted to me or not so if they message me I take it that they are.

Don't let who they have met before bother you If they are messaging you they are interested

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say up until a few months ago this was always in my mind aswell but now im just here to enjoy myself and i really dont give two hoots what anyone thinks about me. And its the best thing ive ever done.... As you said he mailed you there is obv an attraction or an interest from him, dont miss out on something that could be amazing either socially or sexually x

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

How do you know what their type is?

Why would you feel the need not to care ?

there is no punching above your weight you make connections for what suits you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was chatting to a woman on here a few days ago and things were going swimmingly well...next thing I know she blocks me on here and kik... I'm like WTF???

So I eventually get a hold of her and her reasoning was she thought I might be the one to push her over the edge and make her cheat on her husband and that I might be 'disappointed' if we met.

I didnt know whether to be flattered or offended

The bottom line is if I didnt want her..i wouldn't chase her like this, simples!

Anyway..we are back chatting now and the lady in particular is well on her way to misbehaving - which is alllll good in my books

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The same applies in reverse, there are lots of ladies I look at and think 'wow', then the next thought is 'dream on, you'd be lucky to get a glance from her'.

You're at an advantage, if they messaged you they're already interested so go for it, remember there is much more to attraction than looks.

All it takes is self-confidence - if only I knew where to find some!!!

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By *earded blossomCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Agree with switch. You find a lot of these "hot" people are ugly inside or have no personality, your a great person inside and out. Self confidence is hot in itself and isn't about being up your own arse, it's about being happy with who you are. I learned a long time ago to not care what people think about me. As for you... I've only ever thought and heard good things.

K x

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

"I was chatting to a woman on here a few days ago and things were going swimmingly well...next thing I know she blocks me on here and kik... I'm like WTF???

So I eventually get a hold of her and her reasoning was she thought I might be the one to push her over the edge and make her cheat on her husband and that I might be 'disappointed' if we met.

I didnt know whether to be flattered or offended

The bottom line is if I didnt want her..i wouldn't chase her like this, simples!

Anyway..we are back chatting now and the lady in particular is well on her way to misbehaving - which is alllll good in my books

"
so your happy to be the one who will make her get her cheat on congrats

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

"Agree with switch. You find a lot of these "hot" people are ugly inside or have no personality, your a great person inside and out. Self confidence is hot in itself and isn't about being up your own arse, it's about being happy with who you are. I learned a long time ago to not care what people think about me. As for you... I've only ever thought and heard good things.

K x"

It takes a lot to find that something inside to then change yourself your on a journey enjoy the ride your only here once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was chatting to a woman on here a few days ago and things were going swimmingly well...next thing I know she blocks me on here and kik... I'm like WTF???

So I eventually get a hold of her and her reasoning was she thought I might be the one to push her over the edge and make her cheat on her husband and that I might be 'disappointed' if we met.

I didnt know whether to be flattered or offended

The bottom line is if I didnt want her..i wouldn't chase her like this, simples!

Anyway..we are back chatting now and the lady in particular is well on her way to misbehaving - which is alllll good in my books

so your happy to be the one who will make her get her cheat on congrats "

I am actually cola yes. Thanks for your concern

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like all women on here I get a lot of messages. There are some men I look at and think wow. Then I look at their profile and I'm soon scared off by the number of far hotter woman than me to have verified them. I instantly think I'm not their type. How do you get past this? How do you train yourself not to care? And does everyone feel like this at some point? I'm probably missing out on lots because I can't punch above my weight. X"
Must be a female thing, I'm constantly punching above my weight. Fortunately I'm interesting, have a rule set I don't stray from, always discreet and I have some fun hobbies fab based.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you get past this?

How do you train yourself not to care?

And does everyone feel like this at some point?

I'm probably missing out on lots because I can't punch above my weight.

I feel the same way sometimes

But I make it very clear on my profile I am a fatty lmao!

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By *ouncingBiscuitsWoman
over a year ago

toy town, Glasgow

"I think if it's something that you're aware of you'll always care about it.

I'm guilty of it and try not to let it bother me but after having had a knock to my confidence I'm finding it really hard to arrange meets now. I just don't feel good enough. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you get past this?

How do you train yourself not to care?

And does everyone feel like this at some point?

I'm probably missing out on lots because I can't punch above my weight.

You need to realise that you're your own worst critic. Others see this amazing, confident, sensual and beautiful woman who knows what she wants and how to get it. Try thinking of yourself the same way as you're seen and you'll be fine

I get the self doubt popping up all the time, especially if a guy I like meets a stunning girl or couple and I just think there is no way he will be interested in me now lol

I just have to remind myself that I have alot to offer and if they dont see that, then they're clearly not worth it, so no point stressing over it.

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

How do you get past this?

How do you train yourself not to care?

And does everyone feel like this at some point?

I'm probably missing out on lots because I can't punch above my weight.

I get the self doubt popping up all the time, especially if a guy I like meets a stunning girl or couple and I just think there is no way he will be interested in me now lol

I just have to remind myself that I have alot to offer and if they dont see that, then they're clearly not worth it, so no point stressing over it.

Lx"

This is so true L. As for me, I ALWAYS punch well above my weight as I'm nothing special. But as has already been said, I just get on with people and if it happens, great.

Variety is the spice of life you know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My philosophy on the subject for what its worth...

It isn't a competition to be as "good" as someone else. This place is an opportunity for me to be myself and get what I'm looking for..if others do the same with more success than me then good luck to them

Self confidence has to come from within and I feel that until you are happy with who you are then you wont be able to progress.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My philosophy on the subject for what its worth...

Self confidence has to come from within and I feel that until you are happy with who you are then you wont be able to progress."

I agree with this too

Fab allows us all to just be ourselves and do what we want with others we choose. It would be boring if we all tried to be like someone else, there would be no point in that.

Whether or not someone likes what I have to offer is up to them lol

If they do, fun times ahead. If they dont, I hope they find what they seek.

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By *andl kinkycoupleCouple
over a year ago

Scotland

I totally relate to this and probs a lot of other people on this will too. There's usually a bit of a build up before a meet then the dreaded what if they don't like the look of us or what if I disappoint? You sometimes have to just think fuck it or you may miss out on something amazing! Lol

Just be yourself and love every minute of it!

L x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you get past this?

How do you train yourself not to care?

And does everyone feel like this at some point?

I'm probably missing out on lots because I can't punch above my weight.

I feel the same way sometimes

But I make it very clear on my profile I am a fatty lmao!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My problem on here is I've been here too long and as I approach my 55th birthday my chances with women especially younger are diminishing.

I also have a reputation of being around the block a few times too many and got more mileage on me than one of Lewis Hamiltons race cars, which I believe can be a turn off for many.

The thing is my life took a serious downward spiral a few years ago and my self esteem is only now starting to come back and I have avoided meets for about 3 years.

If I message someone on here then I'm definitely interested and yes I've got plenty to offer.

So to OP do not be disheartened set yourself a goal and stick to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like all women on here I get a lot of messages. There are some men I look at and think wow. Then I look at their profile and I'm soon scared off by the number of far hotter woman than me to have verified them. I instantly think I'm not their type. How do you get past this? How do you train yourself not to care? And does everyone feel like this at some point? I'm probably missing out on lots because I can't punch above my weight. X You need to realise that you're your own worst critic. Others see this amazing, confident, sensual and beautiful woman who knows what she wants and how to get it. Try thinking of yourself the same way as you're seen and you'll be fine

I get the self doubt popping up all the time, especially if a guy I like meets a stunning girl or couple and I just think there is no way he will be interested in me now lol I just have to remind myself that I have alot to offer and if they dont see that, then they're clearly not worth it, so no point stressing over it. Lx"
Star put it way better than I did, ive met women who put themselves down on this very forum as being fat/ugly and when I met them thought 'wtf is this gorgeous girl doing meeting me!?!?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally a self confidence thing...I feel I punch above my weight all the time on fab, it's a great ego boost when they like you back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Totally a self confidence thing...I feel I punch above my weight all the time on fab, it's a great ego boost when they like you back

Snap!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same reason I don't mail anyone, I let them mail me.

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

There's been a few people that I've thought "I haven't got a chance in hell" but I've been proved wrong.

When it comes to messaging people though I do have a tendency to think they won't be interested, so don't message.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

How do you get past this?

How do you train yourself not to care?

And does everyone feel like this at some point?

I'm probably missing out on lots because I can't punch above my weight.

X"
This site is full of people quite happy to put you down for one reason or another without you beating yourself up too .

If someone is interested enough to mail you then take it they are interested in you for a reason .

I'l meet who I want and when I want much to the dismay of some but that's thier issue not mine .

I'm sure we all have tastes in both men and women which change over time ..I for instance wouldn't meet guys with facial hair now I quote like it altho I still prefer clean shaven lol .

Just get out there and enjoy the company of people who are quite happy to enjoy yours xxx

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"There's been a few people that I've thought "I haven't got a chance in hell" but I've been proved wrong.

When it comes to messaging people though I do have a tendency to think they won't be interested, so don't message."

Try hello ......

It works you know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although I'm quite confident when we meet someone, I don't think I've ever sent a first message, unless it's been as a response to a wink (& that would be rare).

I've also never had the confidence to arrange a meet on my own.

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By *rsFine-MrBallsCouple
over a year ago

markinch

Your a female, youve won a meet instantly .

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"There's been a few people that I've thought "I haven't got a chance in hell" but I've been proved wrong.

When it comes to messaging people though I do have a tendency to think they won't be interested, so don't message.

Try hello ......

It works you know

I heard that but thought it was just a rumour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fascinating post OP and some very wonderful advice given by many above. I have felt much like yourself in the past and on a previous profile but as someone has said, I began to think "bugger it I am here for me". I had some amazing meets with some amazing people who became good friends too. For personal reasons I find myself feeling much like you do now and Rok's post rings true too but I'm working on it. You look gorgeous and sound lovely too - so don't think your punching above your weight, I am sure anyone meeting you would be blown away (no pun intended there lol ). As someone up there also said - you're only here once so Gofurrrrrrrrrrit girl .

Red

xXx

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"There's been a few people that I've thought "I haven't got a chance in hell" but I've been proved wrong.

When it comes to messaging people though I do have a tendency to think they won't be interested, so don't message.

Try hello ......

It works you know

I heard that but thought it was just a rumour

Try it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get yourself out there OP

. don't care what others think its you that matters, Its the same for us guys I'm a bit chubby at the mo 165lbs(I was 198lbs due to a Fast Roping accident) when I see the other blokes on here I think I have no chance messaging girls since most of the blokes are Adonis's, why would a girl reply to be...well they do(sometimes)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your a female, youve won a meet instantly . "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What would you rather... to msg every guy on here and get a knock back from all or message none and never know what could have been?

For me its easy! Nothing worse than dwelling on what might or could have been if I only...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you get past this?

How do you train yourself not to care?

And does everyone feel like this at some point?

I'm probably missing out on lots because I can't punch above my weight.

I totally get this. Felt as if I'd written it. Wish confidence could be bottled and sold. I'd buy a bulk order

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How do you get past this?

How do you train yourself not to care?

And does everyone feel like this at some point?

I'm probably missing out on lots because I can't punch above my weight.

I totally get this. Felt as if I'd written it. Wish confidence could be bottled and sold. I'd buy a bulk order

"
women don't need to feel like that though? Sorry to be harsh but guys aren't as judgmental or fussy as women, we won't not pick about every flaw big or small, we won't turn you away becuase your not wearing the types of clothes we like to see on women, I can't speak for every guy on fab but I'm sure most guys would be happy just to get a mail on here, confidence & punching above your weight shouldn't be a problem on fab for women.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not put off by folks veris but there has been a quite a few times I've been put off messaging a hot lass after reading a long ass demanding n ranty profile.

I'm pretty lazy so things like persuading them why they should meet me as they get loads of male attention?....cannae be bothered with that

Many do though n fair play to em,they can crack on

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

How do you get past this?

How do you train yourself not to care?

And does everyone feel like this at some point?

I'm probably missing out on lots because I can't punch above my weight.

I totally get this. Felt as if I'd written it. Wish confidence could be bottled and sold. I'd buy a bulk order

women don't need to feel like that though? Sorry to be harsh but guys aren't as judgmental or fussy as women, we won't not pick about every flaw big or small, we won't turn you away becuase your not wearing the types of clothes we like to see on women, I can't speak for every guy on fab but I'm sure most guys would be happy just to get a mail on here, confidence & punching above your weight shouldn't be a problem on fab for women.

But that's not the point. It's how people feel about themselves.

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By *lue4youCouple
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

K x"

Be happy with yourself, that brings it's own confidence, and indeed makes you more attractive. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can have crazy confidence at times - turning up at parties on my own but deep down I'm terrified of people seeing me in person and thinking "oh she takes a good picture". I met someone on Saturday night that probably in non fab life I would never have a chance with but low and behold he seems interested - but I think it's because he has seen the butt plug picture

Thanks for writing such an honest post xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree here.. sometimes see a guys picture and think offtt and then think behave he wont be interested x

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