FabSwingers.com forum: Your biggest waste of time?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi, i would like to hear of other peoples escapades regarding timewasters, i was on here recently defending "them" not so long ago, saying "ohh they maybe dont intend to waste our time".

Recently held a meet with people i know,does this sound familiar to anyone?

All the folks im very familiar with,with the minimum of fuss and communicating turned out,but see anyone new who shouted "oh i wanna come", i think they got as far as asking what day it was on,lol,yes now i get the term "timewasters",while your busy updating the good guys the details of you arrangement,messages from guys with zip diddly intention of turning out is a true waste of everyones time.

Just a feel good self indulgent post this, i would like as i say to hear other storys of being victim to "timewasters",cheers

T xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not really a timewaster but a rather sad little individual was who got on my tits recently.

before we joined Fab we were on glasgow gumtree and had a few meets and actually made friends with people without the sex, but we were contacted by this quite nice girl who appeared so genuine and exactly the type of girl we were hoping for, only thing she wouldnt do was chat on the phone...

after about a fortnight of emailing and shit, i got a bit suspicious when she kept asking for naked pics and kept reffering to this certain guys name and his huge 'dong', we had arranged a meet and everything, until i googled the phone number..dunno why i did it, but it linked on to a guys bebo site with a comment from his mate, who left the number we had.

turned out to be a sad wee twat who works at arnold clark in EK, thankfully he got no pics from us, but damn i felt like twatting him for a while afterwards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i have heard from a lot o friends on hear lately of timewasters... organising meets them letting them down at last min, or not even calling texting etc.... i have a kid and sometimes find it hard and i have cancelled on someone once ( i apologised ) but come on peeps a bit o common decenty xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

worst thing i feel about,... well dont want to say timewasters so just say folks that let me down is that i always considered myself to be quite a good judge of character so when someone turns out to be not as i thought it kinda makes me question my own judgement if that makes sense. but at end of day i dont want to harden my outlook n become one of lifes cynics so suppose im just gonna keep falling for the "timewasters" eh. But hey i suppose this site is now so big that its become part n parcel of life on here. just makes you apreciate the genuine folks all the more

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"worst thing i feel about,... well dont want to say timewasters so just say folks that let me down is that i always considered myself to be quite a good judge of character so when someone turns out to be not as i thought it kinda makes me question my own judgement if that makes sense. but at end of day i dont want to harden my outlook n become one of lifes cynics so suppose im just gonna keep falling for the "timewasters" eh. But hey i suppose this site is now so big that its become part n parcel of life on here. just makes you apreciate the genuine folks all the more"

know where ur coming from gahree hun i too consider myself to be a gd judge of charachter too but i get it wrong to sometimes ......

hence the reason i say time n time again i wont play until weve chatted for a few weeks and done the social meet

so its the only way u really get to know if they r genuine or not as non genuine ppl wont hang around that long to meet xxxx

luv jacs

xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, I think the "meet first for coffee or a drink with no expectations" practised by a number of ladies here is a really good idea, for both sides.

It doesn't guarantee anything, but I suspect it'll out a good percentage of timewasters, and it also lets you bow-out with some decency if you simply don't fancy the person 'in the flesh'!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

In the case of recognising timewasters when your organising a big meet or party.

1.They dont offer up a point of contact too readily,ie; moby number.

2.Assume they will get full details just because shout,"aye i will come",ut ut.

3.The dead giveaway they have zero intention of joining you, dont mention or ask any of the above.

I generally dont care how others get their fun on here, if its 1 to 1 and nowt else, good luck to them, i dont nor ever will get the "yes i wanna come" then just go silent thing,maybe guys wank for scotland and just the thought they nearly had a meet motivates even more wankage,lol

T xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i find the biggest waste of my time are fake peole guys pretending to be girls and that uno

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By *eathersWoman
over a year ago

So far So near

have chatted n chatted to a particular guy... and finally agreed to a meet.... all was arranged addy and numbers exchanged... guess what.. no show.. fair enough good excuse given and a second chance.. week later... same happens... we all get them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a single guy we chatted to for ages on site and MSN virtually beg for a meet, we made arrangements to meet at our home . The week before it while chatting he indicated he was nervous about meet because he has a regular meet with someone who for some reason no longer likes us, we gave HIM the option to cancel to which he replied (and i quote) " no its ok , guarantee i'll be there".

The day comes ........guess what , no show no phone call nowt ....... and we find him in the chat room laughing and joking with the afore mentioned female he meets regularly about having NOTHING to do all afternoon.

Oh and guess what ...he had BLOCKED us .....lol

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By *eathersWoman
over a year ago

So far So near

so leave it and let him wonder what he missed.. don't give him the satisfaction of knowing u r so upset about it.. he sed he was nervous.. maybe a case of cold feet and second thoughts... i once had a guy actually sitting on my bed.. he suddenly sed 'oh i have left something in the car i will need to go get it' two mins later tyres screeching out of our drive!! of course i was upset at the time honesty would have been better but HEY HIS LOSS

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so leave it and let him wonder what he missed.. don't give him the satisfaction of knowing u r so upset about it.. he sed he was nervous.. maybe a case of cold feet and second thoughts... i once had a guy actually sitting on my bed.. he suddenly sed 'oh i have left something in the car i will need to go get it' two mins later tyres screeching out of our drive!! of course i was upset at the time honesty would have been better but HEY HIS LOSS

Feathers hun, we are NOT upset about it and agree HIS LOSS. Think this one not so much a case of cold feet, more a case of a plan hatched by some who considered it a BIG JOKE.

Only posted as a kinda warning of the kind of people sadly you do get out there.

tc hun xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

see still smiling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes (as Fifelass said) we have family committments which lead to the cancellation of a meet. I do, however, think at the very least a person should have the good manners to text or call. But alas, its becoming more apparent that good manners no longer seem to exist for some people (and not just swingers) its a pity that people who continue to be "no shows" cannot be named and shamed in some way - perhaps it should be a condition of the site that 3 no shows and you're out, afterall many people have very busy lives and go to great lengths to arrange sitters.

Roxyxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have had three meets cancelled in the last month or so by the same woman all for varying reasons. Jo not that happy I gave her a second chance, let alone a third!

But, each time I had to ask her if we were still on for following day rather than her letting me know ASAP.

I understand that plans can genuinly change but at least give as much notice as you can to cancel rather than at last minute.

We have been quite lucky in that we have only ever had to cancel meets with folk that we already know quite well through socials or previous meets but we do still give as much notice as possible and feel quite bad ourselves for cancelling.

Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The simple fact of life is that things will and do crop up at the last minute.

But we're all running about with mobiles these days so there's simply no excuse, imho, not to phone and say "sorry etc etc".

And from the stories I've heard I really do think it's high time that site owners and operators came down off their high horses, lived in the same world as the rest of us, and allowed some form of "naming and shaming"!

Although the bulk of this site is free, we're still 'customers' of a sort, we're using a service the owners provide, and so it's surely time that they listened to what a significant percentage of their customers are saying!

Rant over!!

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By *umpinjacsassCouple
over a year ago

lanarkshire

Naming and Shaming has never been allowed on here but i think that should change if someone has gone to the expence of booking hotels and the meet doesnt turn up manners cost nothing a two min call to say u cant make it isnt asking too much ppl who make arrangements to meet ppl then just simple dont turn up should defo be named n shamed because of the expence they have caused ppl lost count of the amount of guys ive spoke to who have been left sat in hotel rooms with no shows

luv jacs

xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of the biggest waste of times is the site Gumtree.

Anytime I've been on that site the replies have been from people with links to other adult sites.

If I wanted to pay the fee to join that site why would I be advertising on a free site.

Majority of adult sites ask for your credit card details before you can even chat to anyone.

The fact that this site is free gives you the chance to chat to people and build a rapport. If you feel right to take it further arrange a coffee meet first.

If the person doesn't show then ditch them and put it down to experience.

There are a lot of timewasters on any site but believe me the only meets I've had have come via Fabswingers.

So my biggest waste of time would be other adult sites especially Gumtree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im not sure on what the site owners view are on naming and shaming but from experience there are always 3 sides to a story.....

Your side, their side and somewhere in the middle will be the truth.

If naming and shaming were to be allowed then it would just end up in a big free for all, both parties slagging of the others.

However, maybe a point system, or better use of the "thumbs up or thumbs down" system could be used?

Steve

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I never ever even venture near the thumbs up down thing for the very reasons,if i dont have it all weighed up why my time was wasted then i dont go sticking nails in folks swingin coffins, im sure bit by bit like something infectious we recognise the ones with the "timewasters" disease and they know how to cure it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all get fed up and pissed of with timewaster........but hey let them cos they are the ones that will suffer. news gets around fast within people who are real and who isnt.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i agree with you jo.

i got messed about a few weeks ago and as we have kids i already sorted a sitter so was really pissed i was let down.found the "guy" a chatroom the time he was ment to me meeting me so i politely whispered him that word gets about and if he was into messing folk about then he would prob end up never meeting anyone?

hey ho happens to the best of us lol.x

auds xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm well aware that there are several angles on 'naming and shaming', but surely if someone simply doesn't turn-up, then it's pretty definite.

I would always want to exchange mobile numbers before a meet and if the other party didn't want to do that then I'd be very wary of going through with the meet at all.

So numbers exchanged, no show, no phone call, no doubt about what's going on!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think one of the things I find rather ridiculous is the guy's that chase so hard for a meet, and then when you finally have time, they back out of it. It seems so pointless. They are hanging on every word you say and then you say fuck it, let's get it on, they seem to have all these reasons why all of a sudden they can't do it.

Another thing I have noticed is planning a lot in advance. This just seems to give people more reasons to back out of it. I find it's best to either organise a meet on the day, or in the next two days, otherwise someone get's sucked into doing something else.

I had really irritating evening. The guy wanted to meet, and I quite fancied it. He phoned me and said let's meet at royal exchange square and I will take you for a drink in the merchant city and then take you back to mine. I got all dressed up on a friday night. Guess what, I waited around for half an hour in the cold for a munter who never turned up.

I must admit if a guy lets me down I email all the girls I know and that way they don't face the same prospect. I think it's the only way to look out for one another!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I was on here a while ago actually theorising about reasons why folks have their time wasted,actually giving timewasters possible reasons for not showing.

1,So busy juggling meets they forget the other one.

2.Genuinely in a job where they get called out last minute.

3.Just so full of self doubt they lose nerve.

But the more i hear the storys of folks leaft standing,waiting and their meet has'nt the common decency to even call to say "sorry cant make it",then i have to ditch the theory that some dont mean to waste your time, i think they bloody do!!

T xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think people need to be more honest and say when they dont fancy someone or dont feel that spark with someone and just be honest. Myself and my hubby dont have a problem with people saying to us they we aint their type etc........end of the day not everyones going to like you.

Steveandj (my hubby)in an above post pointed out i was annoyed with someone for mucking him about....Reason i was annoyed was because i felt the person was dishonest with him and if she had been truthfull and upfront then it would of saved a lot of hasstle.

If you dont fancy someone.... tell them.

This isnt a dig at anyone but a word of advice, honesty is the best policy !!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm well aware that there are several angles on 'naming and shaming', but surely if someone simply doesn't turn-up, then it's pretty definite.

I would always want to exchange mobile numbers before a meet and if the other party didn't want to do that then I'd be very wary of going through with the meet at all.

So numbers exchanged, no show, no phone call, no doubt about what's going on!!"

If they dont turn up then ignore you afterwords or you never hear from them again.......then yes i agree a complete timewaster.......but on accasions people wont turn up for legitimate reasons but normally they come to light afterwords.

I dont see the point in name and shame board of any sort....word of mouth seems to work thou.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

1,So busy juggling meets they forget the other one.

2.Genuinely in a job where they get called out last minute.

3.Just so full of self doubt they lose nerve.

Number 2) Yes I've been caught out with this one myself as I'm on 24hr call

As for the other two,

Number 3. If you have any doubts at all clarify them first in chat before making a 100% decision to a meet. I'm a cheeky bugger full of shit so I know my own capabilities, however if I was chatting to a new person on here then I would lay my cards out on the table before any meet. Then again maybe thats why I get left standing outside pubs so often.

Question 1) Do not arrange so many meets at the one time, keep a diary.

We all have private e-mail addresses, that have drafts or Notes in them, Write a wee note in there to remind you that a meet has been arranged.

If everyone did this there would be no excuse for timewasters.

That way if you are stood up and the person has not contcted you to explain why then by all means send the smoke signals around the egulars on who to avoid.

not necessary to name and shame onan open forum, but how many of us have our own little networks on here where w can easily black ball someone.

My thoughts only feel free to tear apart

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have to say that in my book, Squidgy's experience is an open & shut case, and I hope you've e-mailed the miserable sod's details far & wide.

Buddha, if you've got a wee network of guys I'd be keen to join it. I'm not interested in what you get up to with the ladies and what they and you do and don't do, just exchanging info on the ones to watch and beware of is all I'm interested in.

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