FabSwingers.com forum: Advice

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Any advice / thoughts would be appreciated.

Last night we were in chat & had our cam on. A user who we don't know out of the blue asked, in the open chat forum if my name was such&such giving my real name. Then asked in the open forum if I did a specific job (which I do). We told them to leave it out & they got abusive, threatening to "out" me & also revealing even more about what it is I do for work, making it clear that I have had dealings with them in my work at some point & may yet have more to do with them.

Basically in scared, it's one thing revealing my private information on a chat forum for all to see, another that when I go to work from now on I'll be on high alert as to who this person is & what they might do. I have no idea who this person is, I'm assuming it was the male half of the couple, their profile reveals nothing & the pics are of the female only & don't give any clues as to who she is either.

Some will say, "if they out you they also out themselves" but what if they are happy to say they are on here? What if their friends know?

Any advice at all?!?

Worried Mr J

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our pompous society is probably behind most people hiding being on a swinger site, only revealing who you are to trusted like minded people and friends, because of fear of narrow minded people making an issue of it. Just be proud of who you are and if you show the rest that outing you isn T a big deal he'll lose the buzz of having his sick we but of fun, also report the nugget to admin, I'm sure that'll get him an instant ban!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Our pompous society is probably behind most people hiding being on a swinger site, only revealing who you are to trusted like minded people and friends, because of fear of narrow minded people making an issue of it. Just be proud of who you are and if you show the rest that outing you isn T a big deal he'll lose the buzz of having his sick we but of fun, also report the nugget to admin, I'm sure that'll get him an instant ban!"

apologies for the typo errors

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

presumably you have private messaged them?

unfortunately, my only advice is to keep your head held high. don't cow tow to a cowardice individual who almost certainly has a fake profile.

if it does come out in the open it won't be as painful as you think.

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By *all saulMan
over a year ago

Dunbartonshire

Shocking behaviour but think the advice of head held hi is correct it stops this person having any leverage. As said they have as much to lose as yourself but add long as you are comfortable with your lifestyle but by same token we are all entitled to our privacy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"presumably you have private messaged them?

unfortunately, my only advice is to keep your head held high. don't cow tow to a cowardice individual who almost certainly has a fake profile.

if it does come out in the open it won't be as painful as you think."

No we've never even seen their profile before. Our first ever contact with them was them asking in the chat room if my name was such&such

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By *ab femWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Something else that's happened to you now.

You don't seem to be having much luck in the swinging world.

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

For the moment I would report to admin and then leave it. If other things happen I would start keeping a log as you may need to involve the police at some point. Probably not as this sounds like a pathetic coward but it's better to be prepared

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By *wiftieeMan
over a year ago

near Glasgow

My personal take on this, Mr.J

It's very easy to be lulled into a false sense of security in this 'scene'. We're all supposedly here for the same reason, so we're all the same? Eh......no!

Fab, and similar sites are no different from the real world, they're inhabited by a wide creoss-section of the population. Which means that just as in the real world, there are nasty, bitter, twisted characters lurking on here.

Even more insidious, is the fact that there are some seemingly very nice people around here, but the minute they get upset about something, or think they've been wronged in some way, they become totally different characters.

I'm afraid it's simply life!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Something else that's happened to you now.

You don't seem to be having much luck in the world. "

True but through this site I've met some truly lovely people (such as your wonderful self) & ofcourse Mrs J. But we've also come across the folk at the opposite end of the spectrum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely the person who has revealed your personal info will be banned,is that not against site rules to do that.

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By *irtyGirlWoman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Report the profile to Admin. Block and delete.

I don't have any advice because I don't care who knows that I'm a terrible swinger.

It doesn't matter for me in terms of work etc. but I can understand why it would be an issue for people. It's a sure sign of a small mind and I'd be inclined to front it out.

I'm not sure posting on a public forum about it will do anything except show that it's hit a nerve. I'd be more inclined not to give any attention to such a person.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You;ve done nothing wrong. Report this to admin. If this person does come out then go to the police as he,ll try to blackmail you. Bullies are cowards

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Mr J - go read 'your' inbox please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know I certainly reported it when I saw it.

It was pretty shitty of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate to be the one to point this out but if you go on cam it's the risk you take. While this person should not have behaved in this way and is in the wrong. I do think if you are so worried about being outed, why take the risk?

There are many who 'lurk' and you don't know who they are.

Chances are this person is probably all mouth and no trousers. Most of the time they just want a reaction. However if it was me I would definitely keep away from the cams and see it as a word of caution.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you will be alright mr J

What they did was totally wrong but i think they were a bit pissed and once they realised they were out of line and the people in the room were telling them that they got a bit defensive and reactive

Probably wake up today and be a bit embarrassed with themselves

Ive had a few people message me saying they know me then refuse to tell me who they are ... Just dont let it get to you at work and block them on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its the risk you take with going on cam. You really don't know who is on here. Most of the time its just mouthing off. Just hold your head and I'd be prity sure

Nothing will happen its mind games. Keyboard gangsters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my 7/8 years of being on here I've had my fair share of numpties and what's happened to you happened to me and I have absolutely no clue how they found out all this information out about me. It freaks you out for a wee while then you end up forgetting it ever happened.

All I'll say is, I'm still here... Fuck them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've recognised a few people on here but I wouldn't say to them as I care about my own privacy and discretion. As others have said you shouldn't give away too much detail about yourself if you're overly worried about about being "outed".

Just remember what you're doing is legal and consensual. You're not hurting anyone and it has no bearing on your ability to do your job. Hold your head up and don't be intimidated by bullies hiding behind a computer screen xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's really shocking and shows a real lack of maturity. What are they intending to gain from their actions? Feck, if it's not some women getting abuse from some guys on here it's others acting like brainless idiots. We're supposed to be intelligent, mature adults. We might all be looking for different things from fab, but at at the end of the day we all want fun and why should some individuals have to spoil it for others.

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