FabSwingers.com forum: Sex in relationship

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just split up with my boyfriend because we aren't having sex anymore (been going out a year). I tried so hard to find things to excite him but it just didn't seem to work.

What really worried me as the same thing happened in my last relationship. I'm starting to worry I'm doing something wrong .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear that. Was that he din't want to have sex if he wasn't excited or was the spark gone?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

A bit of both, but it's really disheartening when you are practically throwing yourself at someone and they are 'too tired'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your Boyfriend and your last encounter only wanted you for Sex ..They are probably not for you anyway

I could possibly teach ya great techniques lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I understand that must have felt awful. Did he say towards then why he wasn't wanting to have sex or did he blank it out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Communication, if both parties can openly talk to each other about their sexlife then it will help keep the chemistry and spark alive, very easy to neglect that part of a relationship and can be incredibly hard to reignite.

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By *all saulMan
over a year ago

Dunbartonshire

"A bit of both, but it's really disheartening when you are practically throwing yourself at someone and they are 'too tired' "

that's why my marriage ended sex is a huge part and when it goes it puts a strain on everything else I think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just split up with my boyfriend because we aren't having sex anymore (been going out a year). I tried so hard to find things to excite him but it just didn't seem to work.

What really worried me as the same thing happened in my last relationship. I'm starting to worry I'm doing something wrong .

I'm just out a relationship too it didn't fulfil my sexual needs I wanted everything fun and deviantbut it was a strong no. She knew I was a swinger and it kinky and fun at the start then came the rules.. boring as fuck after,lI wasn't feeling it and then was looking around when I shouldnt of been. Never done anything but just watched the menu go by, lol it sucked but free as a bird now woo

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We talked but he says he doesn't know why we aren't having sex and seemed to think a 'wait and see how it goes' would sort things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you find somebody else soon OP.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's always up and down anyway that's the flow of life just get a high point and run with it as long as it gose and if it dips??? Who knows xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's maybe just as simple as you haven't met someone on the same sexual wave length as you.

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By *usky Couple01Couple
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

Some times it's the woman that don't want sex in my case

Mr husky

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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

I wouldn't think for a minute it's you, you know you're fantastic

It's better to know sooner than later when someones sex drive is lower that yours.

And once you know, only you can decide if you can live with that long term or not.

Give it a while and things will sort themselves out, always works for me, lol

bigc

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By *akedninjaMan
over a year ago

edinburgh

Hmm thats a tricky one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its probably not even about the sex and actually a sign there were other problems already there

ive been in relationships where ive not realised how unhappy i was and the result was i went off sex compeltely ... but look at me here on a swing site ... im clearly not lacking a sex drive ... it was more about the person and issues i had with the relationships that i wouldnt let myself pay attention to so it manifested other ways

so dont worry your probs ace in bed and they just were not right for you

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

My ex had intimacy issues and in our year long relationship we only had full sex once. Any time I tried to initiate anything I was rebuffed and I eventually stopped trying. I figured I just didn't do it for him, and I lost a lot of confidence because of it.

Recently he told me that it was because he was so worried about doing something wrong he'd felt it was better to just not try at all. Not that he didn't fancy me. Which makes me feel a bit better.

For me, intimacy is a huge part, I can't have a relationship without sex. Otherwise it's just a friendship really.

Know what you want, and don't change that for anyone.

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By *ortland51Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

I'm sure you've just been unlucky in your last couple of relationships than you actually doing anything 'wrong', as it were.

From my own experience, a few years ago I went almost completely off sex with a long term girlfriend and ultimately, it was the undoing of us.

I adored the girl and most definately fancied her, but something just switched off within me and looking back now, at the time I didn't have the maturity, confidence or ability to address the situation honestly and openly.

In hindsight, it could have easily been worked through, but I was unaware of that then.

I might not be explaining this very well OP, but as someone said above, it might be more a communication issue with your ex rather than sexual. It almost certainly was for me but I wasn't adult enough to deal with it at the time.

Anyway, good luck, I'm sure many good things lie ahead for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex in a relationship is always a minefield!! I hope you find someone soon OP x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hard one it takes 2 to have intimacy and stimulate the mind you stimulate the body.perhaps you not found partner who can do that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just split up with my boyfriend because we aren't having sex anymore (been going out a year). I tried so hard to find things to excite him but it just didn't seem to work.

What really worried me as the same thing happened in my last relationship. I'm starting to worry I'm doing something wrong .

My husband is similar although its down to erection problems which he did not want to open up too. Now that he has, things are better, not the best but better and he has a little pill which gets him going.

My friends husband is a big strapping fireman and he has lost all interest in sex too, she plays away from home due to it

I guess communication is needed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just split up with my boyfriend because we aren't having sex anymore (been going out a year). I tried so hard to find things to excite him but it just didn't seem to work.

What really worried me as the same thing happened in my last relationship. I'm starting to worry I'm doing something wrong .

My friends husband is a big strapping fireman and he has lost all interest in sex too, she plays away from home due to it

I guess communication is needed"

Communication is key to every thing

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By *oanne_MacTV/TS
over a year ago

Perth

My ex was the same.... it got to the stage it was always me that made a move to initiate sex..... you either get rejected or they grudgingly play along but you feel like a rapist. ....so eventually stop trying as well.

I spoke about it and it perked up slightly but not for long before going back to the way it was, paired with relationship problems I just had enough and finished it. Id just turned 40 and wasnt going to see out the slide into old age in a sexless, loveless marriage. ..

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By *egal221Man
over a year ago

glasgow

I would agree with some of the others and say it's a big part of a relationship and if both parties aren't on the same page with sex and sexual desires something's got to give unfortunately ...your pics look amazing so don't think you will have too much trouble " bumping into" someone haha x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just split up with my boyfriend because we aren't having sex anymore (been going out a year). I tried so hard to find things to excite him but it just didn't seem to work.

What really worried me as the same thing happened in my last relationship. I'm starting to worry I'm doing something wrong .

"
his loss I think you are sexy like the profile

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Your a young woman so I'm guessing your partners have be of a similar age.

I can remember being that age and sex was a huge part of that and thankfully my partner was just as horny as I wasand we were at it like rabbits 24/7 lol.

Over the years you tend not to focus on that so much as family, work and other commitments come along.

I presume you both worked? so even that can have a huge impact on how you feel sexually.

We're all different and for me it's a case of a little of what I like every now and again rather than doing the dirty deed just to keep them happy.

A relationship needs built on,that comfort zone that suits you both needs to be found and everything else should fall into place.

But sex should not be the be all and end all in a relationship... But sadly it does happen.

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By *ripleXrateDWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Some good advice here, it's happend to me before and I remember the "is something wrong with me" feelings.

It happend after a few years with my current bf and to be honest although we didn't break up we never really got along to well.

Now for what ever reason we got our spark back and it's lead us to here.

Hope you find someone thats worth you soon xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The old dead bedroom scenario. There's too many reasons why it happens to go over every one imaginable but I know when I was on the receiving end of it I used to browse the r/deadbedrooms sub on Reddit. Parties from both sides post on here and if nothing else it could give you a better understanding of your partners mindset. It also helps you feel less alone as there's a plethora of people that go through this, and like it's proved here, sharing is caring.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feel for you OP same thing happened to me a couple of years ago just get on with it and don't let it effect you mentally as its not your fault he didn't want it !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cum visit me I never tire of sex lol

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