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need cheered up

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Winter blues kicking in.help

Any good jokes, free cakes. Just some good old banter.

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By *all saulMan
over a year ago

Dunbartonshire

big hugs ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Huddles only.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do old women love to have loads of cats?

Because as women age they reach a phase of life called the ‘many paws'

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Why do old women love to have loads of cats?

Because as women age they reach a phase of life called the ‘many paws' "

That's bloody rubbish. One cake owed for that bad joke.

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Have you seen Bunkiewunkiedoodlepoodlepie?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes

I'll get direct debit set up for harry how cakes for you

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By *earded blossomCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Huddles only."

I'm sure the last huddle I enjoyed was back in 1999?

John

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Huddles only.

I'm sure the last huddle I enjoyed was back in 1999?

John "

Your living very very dangerously Mr.

One skelped arse for you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!". The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes

I'll get direct debit set up for harry how cakes for you "

Omg improving though . LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!

Best get shares in black forest gateau

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Adam and eve had an ideal marriage.he didn't have to hear about all the men she could have married. And she didn't hear. About how well his mother cooked.

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By *akedninjaMan
over a year ago

edinburgh

Always look on the bright side of life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/10/15 01:04:50]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle?

wipe it off and apologise

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle?

wipe it off and apologise "

Wit ??::

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle?

wipe it off and apologise "

Oh dear.

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By *argaidMan
over a year ago

glasgow

A priest and a rabbi end up sitting at the same table on the Glasgow to London train and, as is the way with British trains, it gets delayed. So they have plenty of time to chat.

Eventually, the priest says "We've been chatting for a long time low and I feel that we are becoming friends. Do you mind if I ask you a personal question?"

"I can't promise to answer " says the rabbi," but please ask. "

"Well, I was wondering, with it being against your religion, if you had ever eaten pork?"

"I did once. I was in a café and the man at the next table was eating a bacon sandwich. The aroma was so tempting I just had to have one. Although it was a sin, I enjoyed it very much but felt rather guilty. Do you mind if I ask you a similar question? "

" Fair's fair. " says the priest.

"Well I was wondering, given that priests are required to be celebrate if you had ever 'known' a woman?"

The priest pauses, then says "I joined the seminary very young and I was a virgin, but during my first placement as a young priest I must admit to having succumbed to temptation. One of our parishioners was a beautiful woman who I came to know, we fell for one another and, despite the sin, one day I gave into the temptations of the flesh and we indulged in a glorious afternoon of passion. Although it was a great sin it was a wonderful experience."

"Yeah." says the rabbi. "Beats the shit out of pork, eh?"

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