FabSwingers.com forum: Has the Site changed so much?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

After reading some of the comments on Ravens thread i was struck particularly by the comment View made about we used have more fun a couple of years ago and funnily enough i agree but it then begs the question has the site changed?. Its part of a swingers site that people will come and go for a number of reasons over an extended period of time but isn't it down to us to maintain the same levels of fun, general lunacy and perving that makes coming into the forums or chat something to look forward to and not being wary that you upset someone with a comment that had no badness behind it so that the claws and knives come out and general mayhem ensues. Maybe we need to start making a conscious effort to make chat a laugh and the forums exactly what their supposed to be..a sounding board for ideas whether serious or not but without fear of being castigated, Lets get to having a laugh, a perv and a general coming together of like minded people.

Just my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good observation Col, and yeah maybe you are right in some aspects.. Deffo was a good giggle years ago, but there again, I still have a laugh in chat.

Seems to be more bitchy people and deffo more fuckwits about. Maybe we're the ones getting older and less tolerant, I dunno.

Maybe we should all remember, this site is about having fun and a laugh, and not to be taken too seriously.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

can we scrap the PC shite tae lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aye theres always someone bickering or acting a twat, i dont go into chatrooms very often because of it.

As for forums its either kiss shag and humiliate or people are jumping down each others throat.

So in my opinion the answer is yes it has changed a hell of a lot since we joined and not for the better!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"can we scrap the PC shite tae lol"

Sounds good

Positivity seems the way ahead, I read Atoms page too Concerns are justified, there is no need to attack someone by pm for trying to make a suggestion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have come and gone a few times on here over the past 3 years and talking to a good friend on here earlier today was saying I was considering hanging up my "spurs and riding boots" and moving on.

There is no longer the fun we used to have, too many new people have no concept of swinging and come on here cause they cannot afford to pay the fees for other sites.

Hanging in here until after the New Year but yes the site is fast losing its appeal now.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

more users here than standing outside the chemist at 8.55am.

people thinking its a free for all.

little or no effort required to get your leg over.

confusion between swinging and dating.

confusion between swinging and escorting.

consumption of lives .... swinging is the reason the marriage/partnership exists.

cheaper than having to buy drinks and entry fee to a club in the hope of a leg over.

jealousy

and down right self perceived superiority.. people start to believe their own hype...............

usually the first day of any downfall when that happens

only my 2p worth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I fully agree with you View

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

people thinking its a free for all.

little or no effort required to get your leg over.

confusion between swinging and dating.

jealousy

and down right self perceived superiority.. people start to believe their own hype...............

usually the first day of any downfall when that happens

i def agree with these points _iew having to explain to people messaging that just coz they say hi does not mean i will shag them in the 15 mins they reckon it takes to get to a car park somewhere!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Summed it up precisely View

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we are all guilty of deliberately trying to make an arse of a poster in one thread or another and the quicker WE ALL cut it out the better.some people are more prone to this than others and that includes some moderators that dont get thereway and ban us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Am in total agreement View.

Kay xxx

PS: Yes it did seem more fun years ago!

Is it because am older or do we need

to put back the "FUN" into

having "FUN"?

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Yep this site has changed beyond regognition in the past year and definatley not for the better .

From what ive seen recently especially in the forums and in chat

at one point if you were a new comer on here you were made to feel very welcome but not any more ive seen newbies feel like shit cause they maybe come into the forums and ask a certain question that maybe has been asked a million times befor but how are they to know that if they are new ?

even in the past few months ive spoke to many regulars who refuse to comment in the forums for fear of someone not agreeing with whats been said and turning the post into what was once seen as constructive opinions are now definatley coming across as indirect bullying.

i think regulars not all but some are definatly not as welcoming to new swingers as they once were .

i also agree that some newbies are not as nice as they could be either ive no idea how to make the site what it once was but here's hoping for big changes in peoples attitude in the swinging world in 2011 MAKE LOVE NOT WAR WERE ALL HERE FOR A GOOD TIME NOT A LONG TIME XXXXX

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By *l coupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

If we can add our 2p worth...?

There seems to be a bit of a clique in chat, where sometimes you can be practically ignored. Not great for people that have been around for a while, think of how crap it would be for someone brand new to the site?

The forums, well dear oh dear we don't really post much here because we don't want involved in the almost guaranteed rammy that comes from saying something that the usual suspects don't agree with. This will probably get the exact same response

Suggestions? Lighten up, its supposed to be a place for fun, dial down the bitchy, the cliques and the arrogance. Make a proper effort to get along with folks, even if you don't find them attractive or interesting. Remember that you were new once too, and put yourself in the newbie shoes. Be a bit more tolerant.

Finally...Have FUN and enjoy the bloody place!

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By *at n michaelCouple
over a year ago

AYRSHIRE

whilst i agree with most posts,i have said for a long time,it always happens in the winter time,dont know why,mibees more full moons.....mark my words,was on other site and same happened.

chat is our biggest problem with hassle,but guess wat?we have learned to live with it,have reported but they still there next week.

can go on and on about times we wanted to leave,but cant because of friends and socials we still enjoy.

its mr cat here so wat im saying is ride over the crap like we have had to do,and believe me,i dare to differ ANYONE who has had crap like us.....

btw,merry christmas ya fannys...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As You all know I am the other half of the OP. For me the forums are the place I like to be I always try and be polite and enjoy the crack on here but I must admit it has changed and it hasn't just changed in the winter and someone had sugested. I enjoy it here and have made some good friends, I also see these friends getting attacked by posters. I have always said if you have nothing nice to say don't say anything at all. As for a clique yes there is some on here and the reason for that is that they have been here for so long they know each other so well. I also know that if you were to join in on one of the "clique" convos you will be made welcomed not told to p off.

Everyone please lighten up the is ment to be fun and the emphasis being on FUN. We come here to meet new people gave some fun with them and then when we see them on chat or here we can say hi. I for myself like the friends I have made on the site, but I really don't like all the bitching that is going on if you want to be in the clique join in the convo and then you will be in and we will all then be members of the same clique.

Michelle xxxxxx

As always my own thoughts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course the site has changed.

How can it not when you have a large turnover of members?

Everything changes tho, sometimes for the better, sometimes not.

That's life!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can cliques also be mistaken for friendships built up over the years?

Just a suggestion

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Of course the site has changed.

How can it not when you have a large turnover of members?

Everything changes tho, sometimes for the better, sometimes not.

That's life!"

I agree...the site is ever changing....people are coming and going....groups come n go....you get different vibes....some good some bad....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yip i agree

was just chatting about this today in fact,

yes the site has changed but yes its alot more popular than it used to be good or bad thats the fact,the fact is alot of peeps are on here to stand out for good or bad reasons,some stand out because they are polite and really funny,,,others stand out because they cld start an argument in a empty chatroom ,,,or forum lol.

we have made some really great peeps on here and just fingers crossed folk get bored starting arguments and tryn to be in the right "gang"

just my thoughts auds xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"some stand out because they are polite and really funny"

ooooo, I'm blushing

lol

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

having been on since 0ctober 2008, I have noticed a definite change, cliques have been established, and somewhere along the line, the fun has slid out the Fab door, I have been to a couple of the socials, and met some brilliant people, however some of the banter, could come across as intimidating, to some I have been a figure to poke fun at, and due to that I have left and returned a couple of times, I have met someone here before, and had a thoroughly enjoyable time, however I do not expect to get my leg over with anyone who dains to meet me, or within 15 minutes of a chat, life dont work like that. Bickering can put potential new members off, so I hope 2011 see's a wind of change, otherwise I will be heading out the door of Fab and not coming back. I like to think of myself as a non-pushy type of guy, and don't see myself as gods gift to the women here.

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By *uy from scotlandMan
over a year ago

ayrshire

[Removed by poster at 22/12/10 00:18:51]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im not sure what "cliques" are, if they are folks who have met and get along really well,cool thats a positive section of the site surely?

I click on here every time with the healthy attitude that i want to get to know the positive folks, to read the fun/funny and again positive threads in forums.

To go in chat and yet again chat to the fun/funny positive thinking swinging people.

The reality of it though is as most are conveying,not that simple,not talking about the weekly headlined famous "timewasters",i mean this daft negative,low opinionated,just out n out "grab my chance to have a pop at you" element that pops up from time to time that (if you aint got the thick skin) leave you scratching your head and feeling a bit lost for words.

Thats possibly fun for them and only them,but its not what i signed up for nor for many others i bet.

Is the site more fun now or less?

Well yes its fine in theory, you decide to become swingers, you click on here in the hope you meet likeminded other swingers, Thats it!!

For that not to work, something somewhere from another element within the site must be trying to trip that process up,we all have ideas and opinions on what may cause or be causing that.

T xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/12/10 00:34:59]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"having been on since 0ctober 2008, I have noticed a definite change, cliques have been established, and somewhere along the line, the fun has slid out the Fab door, I have been to a couple of the socials, and met some brilliant people, however some of the banter, could come across as intimidating, to some I have been a figure to poke fun at, and due to that I have left and returned a couple of times, I have met someone here before, and had a thoroughly enjoyable time, however I do not expect to get my leg over with anyone who dains to meet me, or within 15 minutes of a chat, life dont work like that. Bickering can put potential new members off, so I hope 2011 see's a wind of change, otherwise I will be heading out the door of Fab and not coming back. I like to think of myself as a non-pushy type of guy, and don't see myself as gods gift to the women here."
i have too agree with everything you said mate,could have come from me aswell,jm

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

my previous post was in the context of swinging in general/the site and not the Scottish scene. I posted the same reply in the Lounge.

regarding Scotland Chat... nearly 2 years since I was a regular chat room user, the few times I have been in, people are welcoming and pleasant. Seemed a bit flat but to be honest I made little effort and if you don't make the effort, you CAN'T EXPECT others too.

regarding Scotland Forum.. I choose not to post very much and stick with the other ones. The reason being it is usually the 'kiss, shag or avoid' or the 'name the 5 people you would shag/stuck in lift with'... and I find these types to be part of the issue.. someone is going to take offence and it will kick off. I avoid these like the plague.

It is Xmas and maybe a time for people to start relationships/friendships again, forgive wrongs done and apologise for doing wrongs....

if I have wronged anyone.. I am sorry x

Merry Christmas

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has it changed so much emmmmm YES!!!

The fun and frolics have been replaced with backstabbing and bitching, the forums once a fun read has been replaced with point scoring and the chat unfortunately is no longer fun.

As View previously pointed out people seem to confuse this site with a dating site which I witnessed first hand at the recent social whereby a young gentleman got a slap on the face due to him attending the social with one female and daring to chat to another!!!!!

The bitching with never stop, the backstabbing will never stop and the only way forward is for everyone to stop rising to the attention seekers. Ignore the remarks made in the forums, rise above them, if there is someone acting like an idiot in chat, block them and if people concentrated more on themselves maybe just maybe fab can be fun again for everyone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry tands i really didnt mean to slap your hubby i honestly did think he was attending with me

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

"my previous post was in the context of swinging in general/the site and not the Scottish scene. I posted the same reply in the Lounge.

It is Xmas and maybe a time for people to start relationships/friendships again, forgive wrongs done and apologise for doing wrongs....

if I have wronged anyone.. I am sorry x

Merry Christmas

xxx

Nae chance of a shag then????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my previous post was in the context of swinging in general/the site and not the Scottish scene. I posted the same reply in the Lounge.

It is Xmas and maybe a time for people to start relationships/friendships again, forgive wrongs done and apologise for doing wrongs....

if I have wronged anyone.. I am sorry x

Merry Christmas

xxx

"
thought there would have been more peeps admitting to deliberatly setting out to ridicule posters,but then again it takes a real person to admit to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thought there would have been more peeps admitting to deliberatly setting out to ridicule posters,but then again it takes a real person to admit to it.

I think we all do it from time to time. Sometimes I guess its mis-guided banter, sometimes frustration (pfffft, yet another thread on timewasters or why people cant get meets) and other times its people been too sensitive...asking for comments but when they get a negative one, throwing a strop.

I guess 99% of dont set out to piss people off but sometimes it happens. Ill forgive those that have pissed me off if others forgive me

S. xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thought there would have been more peeps admitting to deliberatly setting out to ridicule posters,but then again it takes a real person to admit to it.

I guess 99% of dont set out to piss people off but sometimes it happens. Ill forgive those that have pissed me off if others forgive me

S. xx"
we are not talking about pissing people off,its deliberately setting out to ridicule someone and it happens more or less on every thread and even by moderators just to let all there friends get a wee chuckle but as ive said its rife through all the threads on fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's it....close down the forums again! at least until we all have something constructive to say. We got on really well when we had no forums, perhaps that's the reason chat was so much fun?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"I witnessed first hand at the recent social whereby a young gentleman got a slap on the face due to him attending the social with one female and daring to chat to another!!!!!

Obviously there will be 2 sides to any story but if the above is accurate as to the sole reason for anyone lifting their hands to someone else... the offender should be banned from socials.

if it was a guy who struck a female all hell would have been let loose.

clearly someone who is delusional with self importance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I witnessed first hand at the recent social whereby a young gentleman got a slap on the face due to him attending the social with one female and daring to chat to another!!!!!

Obviously there will be 2 sides to any story but if the above is accurate as to the sole reason for anyone lifting their hands to someone else... the offender should be banned from socials.

if it was a guy who struck a female all hell would have been let loose.

clearly someone who is delusional with self importance.

Totally agree with everything you said there _iew......socials are meant to be fun and a way of meeting old friends and making new ones.

legs

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I witnessed first hand at the recent social whereby a young gentleman got a slap on the face due to him attending the social with one female and daring to chat to another!!!!!

Obviously there will be 2 sides to any story but if the above is accurate as to the sole reason for anyone lifting their hands to someone else... the offender should be banned from socials.

if it was a guy who struck a female all hell would have been let loose.

clearly someone who is delusional with self importance.

I agree with you here View and for me I think that all story's have three sides to a story their side your side and in the middle the truth. I also fell that if anyone lifts their hands wether male or female they should be banned from the socials. Colin and I were talking the other day about socials and if these are the sort of things that is going on at them between a bunch of like minded people and are adults I don't know if I want to go to another one again. So from what I can see the fun from the fourms, chat and socials has gone I hope not as this is for social reasons and for fun where is the social side of things where people get together to have a laugh and an evening out with friends.

I am now going to sit back and see what people are going to say about this but you see I don't care I am to long in the tooth to worry about what people say about me. So you all go ahead and say what you want I just feel that we should all get on and have fun if you don't like someone move on but block first then you won't have any more dealings with them. As you go through life you find things as silly as bitching and the like is less importaint and having fun is the best you can hope for

As always this is my own thoughts.

Michelle xxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I witnessed first hand at the recent social whereby a young gentleman got a slap on the face due to him attending the social with one female and daring to chat to another!!!!!

Obviously there will be 2 sides to any story but if the above is accurate as to the sole reason for anyone lifting their hands to someone else... the offender should be banned from socials.

if it was a guy who struck a female all hell would have been let loose.

clearly someone who is delusional with self importance.

As always this is my own thoughts.

Michelle xxxxxx "

Here Here Chelle well put i know where your coming from, thats one reason i only post when i feel i have something to say, and i dont care if people have a pop at me as i expect it the way the site has become.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Seems to be one of the main points in here is that people are cautious to comment on post or chat for fear of some kind of backlash or negative comments, we may not agree 100% of the time but surely a reply to any post or comment can be put in a polite manner even if you dont agree with whats being said. The Forums are for subjects which members feel that they would like other peoples _iews and comments on not for them to be ridiculed or castigated for what they have posted and chat should be for conversation that stimulates not denigrating what people have to say and most of of it should be fun and sexy.

Just my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a Fab newbie really...only been here a relatively short period of time... but I've found the vast majority of swingers to be brand new. Welcoming and open minded.

I think we can all be quite OTT at times with the banter. Sometimes it could be easily misconstrued as more intimidating than it truly isn't...but at other times it is a bit selective and could rightly be seen as bullying. I think some of the stuff hurled tomma's way is quite shocking and I've been close to saying as much but when a newbie...you tend to duck.

As for dating sites etc, you get that on every form of social networking site. Swinging IS social networking which is why groups may be seen as cliques when they aren't really. It may appear that way but it is more complex.

I think the forums are toxic. It asks for opinions. Then you get opposing opinions - call it human interaction and thought at work - to be eventually followed by dogma which is when it gets really toxic.

Let it go and let it happen. My philosophy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well said xx

auds xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mr Horny here and been reading some of the posts and thought I would say something stupid!

In my opinion and only my opinion there is a huge difference between a swingers site and a sex site. Most newbies, possibly because of the press reports months ago, seem to thing they can email women / couples and ask for a meet there and then. Gone have the days of chatting and getting to know folk, having a laugh and build up to the day they eventually meet.

Speaking for Mrs Horny and I we are fed up with guys sending us one line emails saying nice pics or fancy a meet, this puts folk off straight away and perhaps thats why the site has changed so much.

Swinging is a lifestyle and perhaps too many folk think this site is the cheapest way to get their leg over.

I know im hardly ever on this site, let Mrs H do the perving lol, so im not in the best position to pass comment but folk need to liven up and if it means you have to pay to join this site perhaps that will deter some of the idiots that do join.

Feel free to pass comments big enough and ugly enough to accept them. Mr Horny

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Just sitting thinking to myself.

Why must we make life so difficult?

Every once in awhile you need to stop and enjoy the scenery,

Because life isn’t about how much power you have

Or how many friends you have,

Life is about trying to find what makes you happy

And not getting caught up in the everyday nonsense that happens on here

This forum post put everything into perspective,

If you rush through life and never stop to look around

Have you ever really lived?

Too much going on in the world for all the crap in here the year is almost over so lets all try and make this a much nicer place to be like it once was .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Well Said Dyno.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

christ would people acually really speak there minds in forumns ,as if they did they would get shot down badly, i dont comment much about fuck all but if most people butted out of others lives on ere and didnt give a shit if this one had been with this one life ere be so much better after all we all ere just for fun .. should keep there bitchness out of it altoghter and live a little ....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Think we'd all like to see people stop worrying about what other people say Whippy, comments in the forums can surely dealt with in an adult way or opinion. The site is supposed to be fun and maybe somewhere along the line that idea of that got a bit blurred but the only people that can remedy that is the members themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think there is way more than enough bitchyness , backstabbing etc goes on in real life everyday, we like this lifestle and like to come in here as what might be classed an escape.

Sure sometimes we do moan a bit when in , but never do so in a bitchy backstabbing way ........this is meant to be fun so please folk help keep it that way....... because if you do not the good people out there will finally say "enough is enough" (like quite a few we know of already have) and leave the site ....never to return !!!

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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

just read your comment jacs ad i couldnt agree more so come on folks lets all cheer up and enjoy the site i know i do am i an oddity because ive never encontered any bitching on here towards myself so come on folks make LOVE not war

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