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Friday Joke !

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By *owboy Bebop OP   Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

This is quite a long joke...but it has a cracking punchline ! Hope you find it funny

A woman meets a guy in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she noticed that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears.

There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears, carefully placed in rows covering the entire wall.

It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them and she was immediately touched by the amount of thought he had put in to organizing the display.

There were small bears all along the bottom shelf, medium-sized bears covering the length of the middle shelf, and huge enormous bears running all the way along the top shelf.

She found it strange for an obviously masculine guy to have such a large collection of Teddy bears, but doesn't mention this to him, and actually is quite impressed by his sensitive side.

They share a bottle of wine and continue talking and, after a while, she finds herself thinking, 'Oh my God! Maybe this guy could be the one! Could he be the future father of my children?'

She turns to him and kisses him lightly on the lips. He responds warmly. They continue to kiss; the passion builds; and he romantically lifts her in his arms and carries her into his bedroom where they rip off each other's clothes and make hot, steamy love.

She is so overwhelmed that she responds with more passion, more creativity, more heat than she has ever known.

After an intense, explosive night of raw passion with this sensitive guy,they lie there together in the afterglow. The woman rolls over, gently strokes his chest and asks coyly, "Well, how was it?"

The guy gently smiles at her, strokes her cheek, looks deeply into her eyes, and says:

"Help yourself to any prize from the middle shelf."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Brilliant lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahaha good one !!

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By *akedninjaMan
over a year ago

edinburgh

haha thanks for sharing

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By *awk3y3Man
over a year ago

West Lothian

A man walks into a zoo and finds the only animal there is a dog, it was a shitzu... *BOOM*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotch-less panties in an attempt to spice up her sex life.

She puts them on ,together with a short skirt and sits opposite her husband. At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs....enough times that her husband finally asks "are you wearing crotch-less panties?".."y..e..s" she answers with a seductive smile "thank Christ for that!...I thought you were sitting on the fucking cat!!!!!!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call a Scotsman who is half way home ?/

Hamish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was in the pub last night.

Meet a travelling man got talking shared a few drinks together.

At the end of the night he asked if I'd like to come back to his ???

Well what a night. Was on the walzers, the dodgems, motorbikes.

Came home with a goldfish. Boom boom.

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