FabSwingers.com forum: Saying no....

By *arried adventurers! OP Couple
over a year ago

North Lanarkshire

How do you say no when you get messages from people you're not interested in?

I think I'm doing something wrong and would be keen to hear how other people do it.

If I'm just firm and straight to the point then I tend to get a lot of abuse. If I try and soften it a bit then I get messages begging for a social meet at least or asking why I'm not interested.

What do you do?

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"How do you say no when you get messages from people you're not interested in?

I think I'm doing something wrong and would be keen to hear how other people do it.

If I'm just firm and straight to the point then I tend to get a lot of abuse. If I try and soften it a bit then I get messages begging for a social meet at least or asking why I'm not interested.

What do you do? "
it's never been a massive issue for me as most I'd say 99% of guys on here are okay about it.

Only a small percentage have reacted in a nasty way and it's simple to eliminate then in the touch of a button so not really a big issue.

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By *ifefunseekersCouple
over a year ago

St Andrews

"No thanks.

Happy fabbing xx"

Works for us

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By *earded blossomCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

I ( Karen) learned the way... When I had a single profile, I had abuse, then I had a stalker who then got his friend to take over. Ignore if not interested n then if necessary block. If they bothered to read profiles they would see the "no reply means no thanks" xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly don't understand what people hope to achieve by being nasty.

I have my fair share of knock backs, and most people who give me the KBs are polite and respond saying they aren't interested, some just delete.

Either way take the hint and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got a cpl of fem friends on here who have recently had same problem , I think it's best just to ignore , I know it's not nice but to get abuse back for saying NO is wrong x

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

I always say "thanks for your message but it's a no from us, happy fabbing". Occasionally we'll get a "why not?" or "shame" but I don't respond to that.

Those are the ones I respond to. I don't even reply to one liners, "hi"s or ones that talk directly to me and ignore him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you were in a bar and tried to chat someone up and they said no you would walk away don't understand why people get arse or abusive when they are on here just keyboard warriors hit the block button and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply with thanks but no thanks. Then block them so I don't get the heave ho of them asking why

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By *quirtiliscious1Woman
over a year ago

Dundee

I just say thanks for message but not meeting anyone new. Hope you find what you are looking for.

If they are daft enough nto message again it's the delete and B button lol.

Squirts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always say "thanks for your message but it's a no from us, happy fabbing". Occasionally we'll get a "why not?" or "shame" but I don't respond to that.

Those are the ones I respond to. I don't even reply to one liners, "hi"s or ones that talk directly to me and ignore him "

This

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

if it's a half decent message then I say "sorry no thanks but good luck"

Anything after that I just ignore

If it's a crap message I just ignore

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Few years ago this site was very different but now it's more of a chatting site I think personally... The meets are very rare but I guess that's down to us guys, we gotta catch the eye. So lift your game guys!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A no thank you is all that's needed. No sugar coating. If there that much of an ass hole just block them. There the kind that you don't have to pander to. It's what they want there so insecure. So as we say. HAPPY FABING.

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By *axter1987Man
over a year ago

your hotlist

I appreciate a "thanks but no thanks" rather than just straight delete. Or leave the mail unread. Just find it really ignorant if it's a mail thats read and then deleted, really grinds my gears for some reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I appreciate a "thanks but no thanks" rather than just straight delete. Or leave the mail unread. Just find it really ignorant if it's a mail thats read and then deleted, really grinds my gears for some reason."

But some women on here get a crazyyyy amount of messages man so they don't go through them all...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I ( Karen) learned the way... When I had a single profile, I had abuse, then I had a stalker who then got his friend to take over. Ignore if not interested n then if necessary block. If they bothered to read profiles they would see the "no reply means no thanks" xx"

That is ridiculous!!

Some people just don't like to be told no. And others clearly have insecurities that they feel makes it acceptable to take out on others. I've heard the phrase 'keyboard warrior' and seems apt for some.

We tend to say 'Thanks but not for us, happy fabbing'. We have been fortunate not to get abuse.

Not everyone is everyone's type, the world would be a boring place if we all fancied the same person

-Mrs-

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It feels horrible saying no to people. We've met alot of people socially who are great company just not what we are looking for to play with and its even harder saying no to them. Its trying to find the right time and the right way of saying it that's difficult when you know they are interested in you.

We've only really had abuse from one couple and they are blocked we've no time or patience for all that nonsense lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do prefer to get a simple thanks but no thanks message back as just feel it is polite, but as someone already noted, the amount of mail the ladies receive on here is ridiculous so I certainly don't expect it. It scares me though hearing the amount of abuse folk have gotten just for politely turning someone down.

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By *lawless doveWoman
over a year ago

bothwell

I reply with a not for me sorry most times it's enough but sadly you get a few, wonder if it's the same guys as everyone else, acting like kids or worse I just ignore and delete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I prefer someone to reply thanks but no thanks, it's an honest and respectful response. Those that just straight delete is their choice I suppose, everyone does things differently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How do you say no when you get messages from people you're not interested in?

I think I'm doing something wrong and would be keen to hear how other people do it.

If I'm just firm and straight to the point then I tend to get a lot of abuse. If I try and soften it a bit then I get messages begging for a social meet at least or asking why I'm not interested.

What do you do? "

We say 'sorry we don't match each other's needs. Thanks and good luck' or something along those lines.

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

I'll let you know if and when it ever happens lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry but not my type , age

That's what I get all the time lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I take my hat off to you for asking this question, I only wish there were more members like you.

I've been an active member for 3 weeks now and chatted to a lot of nice people at After 8, on this forum and face to ace meets with single ladies.

I have spent hours writing unique messages to at least 50 or more matching couples (looking for single guy my age) on here, unfortunately with no results yet but I guarantee you I have had less than 10% of that replying with a No Thanks

There are currently about 12 of these messages not even been read. When you put so much effort in reading their profile and writing about what's on there and just get ignored this way, it's hard to keep going.

I've got to the point of giving up on getting meets with couples just for that reason or maybe write a general email that I can copy and paste.

Maybe I've got the wrong approach, I don't know, getting dates with single ladies on and off FAB is a much easier but it's a swinging site and thus swinging with couples the reason I joined.

So back to your topic, just a simple No thanks as suggested in other posts is rare and most welcome

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

[Removed by poster at 10/09/15 06:53:25]

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

You've only been here 3 weeks but you've been proactive in going to after8 and you've had socials, I'd say that's pretty good going. Patience is key around here.

Unread messages may mean that they have so many they haven't got to yours yet. It's nothing personal.

With regard to copy and paste messages, they're easily spotted and may put some people off as they'll feel you haven't bothered to read the profile.

You don't need a lengthy message, just a bit about why you're interested and what you have to offer the couples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You've only been here 3 weeks but you've been proactive in going to after8 and you've had socials, I'd say that's pretty good going. Patience is key around here.

Unread messages may mean that they have so many they haven't got to yours yet. It's nothing personal.

With regard to copy and paste messages, they're easily spotted and may put some people off as they'll feel you haven't bothered to read the profile.

You don't need a lengthy message, just a bit about why you're interested and what you have to offer the couples

Thanks boobs. .will keep going anyway. .God loves a trier they say x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just ignore or I don't even read sometimes. I've 224 unread emails at the moment. I've got about the same in read messages. One out of all of that I'm going to reply to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just this morning, I sent a 'not interested, thanks for the message ' reply to someone.

He messaged back that I was rude, amd why wasn't I interested?!!!

Delete.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just this morning, I sent a 'not interested, thanks for the message ' reply to someone.

He messaged back that I was rude, amd why wasn't I interested?!!!

Delete. "

That is downright rude and out of order. I would support that they should be banned from the site.

No means no as far as I'm concerned and it should be the same for anyone who wants to be a member on the site

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

I really don't know why they feel entitled to an explanation. Not into you, so move on.

We had the male half of a couple message (not for the first time), and when I declined he asked me why. I replied that they weren't for me, he then proceeded to ask which one of them was putting me off!

I'm not sure what answer would have made him feel better. It was actually both of them, but I wasn't going to justify myself.

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

Im not a prolific messager on here looking for meets ..but if i message a lady and she says no ...thats cool...i dont need to know why...in fact id rather not know lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just ignore or I don't even read sometimes. I've 224 unread emails at the moment. I've got about the same in read messages. One out of all of that I'm going to reply to. "

Wow..guess I didn't realise that some women get that many emails in a day..I'll be more understanding about an unread or no reply from now on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im not a prolific messager on here looking for meets ..but if i message a lady and she says no ...thats cool...i dont need to know why...in fact id rather not know lol "

Same here..getting told I'm too fat and ugly all the time might lead to jumping off the nearest bridge lol

Only kidding I've got thicker skin than that and beauty is only skin deep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im not a prolific messager on here looking for meets ..but if i message a lady and she says no ...thats cool...i dont need to know why...in fact id rather not know lol

Same here..getting told I'm too fat and ugly all the time might lead to jumping off the nearest bridge lol

Only kidding I've got thicker skin than that and beauty is only skin deep "

Even women get told those things especially if we ignore or delete or reply no thanks. Sometimes they are even said without some dented ego as a reason. However that's why the block button is there. I think everyone needs a thick skin on here at times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont message everyone, just folk that take my fancy. Its usually just ignored mind you, despite some effort in my message!

Dont mind knock backs, in fact I appreciate the no responses, out of courtesy.

Given I am a guy, I dont get the opportunity to say no as I dont get anyone messaging me first! Haha

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

Weirdly dont think ive ever asked to meet usually a natural progression and done on phone if memory serves right

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By *rjandmrskCouple
over a year ago

West Dunbartonshire

We are polite and say Thx for message but not for us and happy swinging then block so there are no more messages.

We block as we had some nasty mesages back when we said no and a few ask why and we dont feel we have to jusify ourselves. The same way if someone says no to us we block them to so we know not to ask again. Nothing personal at all.

Mrs K

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

Well that's a new one. Most of the time our "no thanks" messages are read and deleted, or we receive a "thanks for the reply" reply.

Today I've just had someone reply asking for a pair of my used knickers. And some men wonder why they get blocked

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

"Well that's a new one. Most of the time our "no thanks" messages are read and deleted, or we receive a "thanks for the reply" reply.

Today I've just had someone reply asking for a pair of my used knickers. And some men wonder why they get blocked

A new business venture for ya

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By *earded blossomCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Well that's a new one. Most of the time our "no thanks" messages are read and deleted, or we receive a "thanks for the reply" reply.

Today I've just had someone reply asking for a pair of my used knickers. And some men wonder why they get blocked

A new business venture for ya

Haha! We got that n that's exactly what I said to John x

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

"Well that's a new one. Most of the time our "no thanks" messages are read and deleted, or we receive a "thanks for the reply" reply.

Today I've just had someone reply asking for a pair of my used knickers. And some men wonder why they get blocked

A new business venture for ya

Haha! We got that n that's exactly what I said to John x"

They were after John's "panties" ???? Lmao xx

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"Well that's a new one. Most of the time our "no thanks" messages are read and deleted, or we receive a "thanks for the reply" reply.

Today I've just had someone reply asking for a pair of my used knickers. And some men wonder why they get blocked

A new business venture for ya

Haha! We got that n that's exactly what I said to John x"

Hmm, wonder how much a pair I could charge...

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

"Well that's a new one. Most of the time our "no thanks" messages are read and deleted, or we receive a "thanks for the reply" reply.

Today I've just had someone reply asking for a pair of my used knickers. And some men wonder why they get blocked

A new business venture for ya

Haha! We got that n that's exactly what I said to John x

Hmm, wonder how much a pair I could charge...

Buy multi packs from primark ...maximise your profit margins

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst it's always disappointing to see your mail deleted without a reply, some folks just don't have the time or inclination to respond to 100+ mails when they put a meet up, you just move on.

If I get a polite rejection, then I'll usually send a polite thanks back, and then we all move on with our lives.

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By *earded blossomCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Well that's a new one. Most of the time our "no thanks" messages are read and deleted, or we receive a "thanks for the reply" reply.

Today I've just had someone reply asking for a pair of my used knickers. And some men wonder why they get blocked

A new business venture for ya

Haha! We got that n that's exactly what I said to John x

They were after John's "panties" ???? Lmao

xx"

What do you think?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Usually if it's a decent message I will reply no thanks , not my type sort of reply .

If it's a rude message or someone who messages that's messaged before and been told before no thanks, I just delete it with no reply .

Majority accept it but there's always one or two who want to question your decision

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

"Well that's a new one. Most of the time our "no thanks" messages are read and deleted, or we receive a "thanks for the reply" reply.

Today I've just had someone reply asking for a pair of my used knickers. And some men wonder why they get blocked

A new business venture for ya

Haha! We got that n that's exactly what I said to John x

They were after John's "panties" ???? Lmao

What do you think?

I get the picture

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By *oobsandballsMan
over a year ago

st andrews

"Well that's a new one. Most of the time our "no thanks" messages are read and deleted, or we receive a "thanks for the reply" reply.

Today I've just had someone reply asking for a pair of my used knickers. And some men wonder why they get blocked

A new business venture for ya

Haha! We got that n that's exactly what I said to John x

Hmm, wonder how much a pair I could charge...

Buy multi packs from primark ...maximise your profit margins

I like your thinking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Well that's a new one. Most of the time our "no thanks" messages are read and deleted, or we receive a "thanks for the reply" reply.

Today I've just had someone reply asking for a pair of my used knickers. And some men wonder why they get blocked

A new business venture for ya

Haha! We got that n that's exactly what I said to John x

Hmm, wonder how much a pair I could charge...

Buy multi packs from primark ...maximise your profit margins

I like your thinking

Can I buy shares in the company. .awesome idea

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