FabSwingers.com forum: hows this for a no show?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Messaged a couple in response to a Meet Today and asked if they would be interested in meeting. I told them my age specifically since it was above their stated limit and they replied saying it was ok. We exchanged a couple of messages and meeting place details. 2 hours later, I'm on the motorway to the meet - some distance away - when I get a text saying they've changed their mind about the age and didn't want to meet after all! Is it me?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

At least they told you, albeit a bit late

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That’s not a no show, that’s a cancelled meet, consider yourself fortunate when you read about some peoples experiences posted on here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I suppose that's true - i was a bit p'd off though - lol. Put it down to experience.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

true _iew - bit hacked off when i couldn't get off motorway for ages as well - lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's shocking - doesn't matter that they sent you a last minute text - to let you start to travel then cancel is the height of ignorance. Only wish people could be named and shamed when this kind of thing happens

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By *uncpl007Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

people have ever right to change there mind about a meet,could have maybe gave little more notice but just be thankful they at least let you know before completing your journey or on arriving and telling you they didn`t fancy any fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They were decent enough to say, "change of mind" and to take the time to say so is way more than some bother to do. And people juggle fun options,had a couple tell me they were on their way to mine,, that was 2 months ago,, hope their no lost,lol

T xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"people have ever right to change there mind about a meet,could have maybe gave little more notice but just be thankful they at least let you know before completing your journey or on arriving and telling you they didn`t fancy any fun"

Aye, he should be thankful

Honestly, you see nothing wrong with what this couple did?

Like my wife posted before me, I think it's shocking.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Aye, he should be thankful

Honestly, you see nothing wrong with what this couple did?

Like my wife posted before me, I think it's shocking."

Yeah its totaly crap to give a call when you know the person has made the effort to get to you could at last have met for a coffee then decided ...

a male friend of mine traveled a few two hours for a meet only to be text ten mins before arriving to say they had changed their mind yes its peoples choices but come on have the decency to call off before you know the person is already on their way to met you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As mentioned, people juggle people, its not the best way to go, but i can imagine if your a couple not lacking in interest from guys, you can easily create a priority list or short list of guys you want to meet.

First choice guy gets told, "yeah get back to us and we can arrange to meet".

Second choice guy gets told same,as does third choice guy, but third choice guy does'nt fully suit, not in age preference etc.

First and second choice guys drag their heels and dont get back to them so they invite third choice guy.

While poor third choice guy is en-route to meet, second prefered guy does get his finger out and message them.

Can guess the rest, it happens.

T x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 21/11/10 23:29:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i had a now show a wee while ago it was on my birthday as well was suppose to go out by change as the member wanted a meet that night went into glasgow 70 miles round trip for me and she never even text to say she wounld ,nt make it , got a wee messsage at 11.00 oclock that nite sorry family thing came up and she had left her phone in the house ,i think not mibi she did but i don,t think so,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is not a moan at cancelled meets, its more bloody funny than anything else.

Lady was en-route to join us for a planned gb, 6 guys all geared up for the afternoon, location, time to be there etc, then when i was just setting out to location, she texts to say car had broken down, checked she was getting AA/Rac etc, then the real fun starts, lol, texting the guys to say its off, i had, "whats wrong with car"? But the best one was, "wheres she broken down i can go get her"?

Just pictured it, AA man frantically working away on car, random bloke pulls up, "ehh hi im meant to be gang banging you this afternoon,want a lift? we can leave the car here the now" ffs,lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Took another 5 texts to explain to him why it was'nt such a good idea!!

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

yes its crap when people dont show or txt at short notice and canx . however ,theres NO garentees on this site ! if you had met with the person and they then decided no you werent their type or they couldnt go through with having sex would you still be posting saying they wasted your time ?

in an ideal world people wouldnt get cold feet at last minute and wouldnt canx plans or just not turn up . fact is its not a perfect world especially when you are dealing with the complexities of human nauture . its not great thing to happen but everyone on here gets let down some way or other at some time ,just part and parcel of the scene . i would maybe advise though that maybe better to speak to people awhile rather than last second meet .give you then a chance to get to know them ,and for them to get to know you . maybe then the age thing would of been second place to you as a person . again no garentee of course .i actually met a guy afew times in town for coffee then when it came to going to his house i was left waiting an hour .txt started out saying his ex hadnt picked up their daughter yet she was running late .then heard nowt ,so just took it he either bottled it ,wasnt actually single or just wasnt interested . just move on and put it down to exsperience x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Same happened here.

Arranged a meet at three hours notice. All was dandy and I set of for an hour and a bit's drive.

Got there, but the couple had left. Asked around to make sure I was at the right place, which I was.

Drove back home and sent them a message, polite, but expressing my disappointment clearly.

The answer was along these lines: "Yeah, we decided to leave early." and that was it. No apologies offered.

Have fun, but use your brains!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aye, he should be thankful

Honestly, you see nothing wrong with what this couple did?

Like my wife posted before me, I think it's shocking."

I agree with you and your wife. Height of ignorance, waste of the OP's time and petrol. Completely out of order on every level and my definition of a time waster.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As mentioned, people juggle people, its not the best way to go, but i can imagine if your a couple not lacking in interest from guys, you can easily create a priority list or short list of guys you want to meet.

First choice guy gets told, "yeah get back to us and we can arrange to meet".

Second choice guy gets told same,as does third choice guy, but third choice guy does'nt fully suit, not in age preference etc.

First and second choice guys drag their heels and dont get back to them so they invite third choice guy.

While poor third choice guy is en-route to meet, second prefered guy does get his finger out and message them.

Can guess the rest, it happens.

T x"

Well I think "people juggling" is even more shocking. Seriously, sometimes I wonder about what people find acceptable on here. These are people we're dealing with, not objects!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aye, he should be thankful

Honestly, you see nothing wrong with what this couple did?

Like my wife posted before me, I think it's shocking."

Not as shocking as someone thinking that people have no right to change their mind, don’t think anyone said it was ok what happened, but it was certainly better than travelling all the way there and nobody being there. No will always mean no regardless of when that no comes along and lucky for the OP it was at the start of his journey.

Personally these things will always happen when it comes to arranging short notice meets, best chatting and getting to know people first, like db9 said, even more so when there’s people out there happy to hang you high and dry when a better offer comes along.

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

Aye, he should be thankful

Honestly, you see nothing wrong with what this couple did?

Like my wife posted before me, I think it's shocking.

I agree with you and your wife. Height of ignorance, waste of the OP's time and petrol. Completely out of order on every level and my definition of a time waster."

so if people turn up they are oblidged to have sex ??? i mean wouldnt want to be classed as wasting someones time and petrol !! in your defination of time waster that would be the case though !!! lmfao !! lets be adult here even if you arrange a meet ,spend time and petrol getting there,still no garenteed person will want to take things any further and nor should they feel they have too ! people have right to change their mind at any point if they dont feel comfortable for what ever reason . if i met a guy and didnt click with him or feel comfortable do i then have to take things further ?would he have right to call me a time waster??? i dont think so ! its my personal choice . would op be posting if the cpl had turned him down face to face .?? hes still made the journey ect ...

people will always have different tolerences, some ppl will class canx a meet with plenty of notice wasting time just as no doubt there will be some who will class ppl who turn up and decide not to play as time wasters . of course those are the two exstreams but you get the idea . i think only true definition of time waster is someone who arranges meet with knowledge then they have intentions what so ever to ever turn turn up . all the rest is as i said unfortunate but happens !! as you said in post you are dealing with human beings, as such we can then change outr mind about things for what ever reason

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aye, he should be thankful

Honestly, you see nothing wrong with what this couple did?

Like my wife posted before me, I think it's shocking.

I agree with you and your wife. Height of ignorance, waste of the OP's time and petrol. Completely out of order on every level and my definition of a time waster.

No, at no point did I say anyone would be obliged to have sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of ranting and raving. Name and shame if its that bad!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think we all just need to realise that if we are willing to set up last minute meets in such a short space of time, then we should also consider the possibility that if either party has a change of mind or has to cancel for whatever reason then we are never going to get adequate notice.

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

no jenny you didnt say ppl are obliged to have sex ,i was making a point . you have blasted a cpl as time wasters because they canx a meet when op was on route wasting his time and petrol . i was mearly giving another _iew point ! would you consider the cpl as time wasters if they decided not to take meet further after meeting the guy face to face for two minutes ?? after all still used his petrol and time ... it starts setting a dangerous presidenence . people will be worried about canx any meets at any stage for fear some would class them as time wasters and name and shame them !! sorry in my book thats not right .as i also stated what one person may class as time wasting others may not ...so where exactly do you draw this invisable line exactly??? i spoke to a guy on line here on and off and never felt felt totally comfortable and never felt a connection .when i told him this he got very abusive and said i was a time waster !! thats his opionion ...mine my gutt instinct was spot on .some people use the term time waster at slightest reason if things dont go exactly way they want . people have the right to alter their descions ,its called personal choice .difference with choice and time wasting is the deliberate intention not to go with what was agreed . op has point his _iew on here as entitled but is only the one siad. the cpl may well have a completly different version of events .we will never know if the cpl deliberatly set up meeting knowing they wouldnt go ahead with it so why condem them so quickly ???

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By *ohnny4playMan
over a year ago

Kinross

At least you got the text when en route, it saved some time and travel.

I always go to meets with the thought that when we meet I might just not bee what they are looking for, that there is no 'chemistry'.

It is always dissapointing that things do not go as hopped for all parties, but there is never a garauntee of play, only the mutual desire! Everyone is entitled to cold feet or second thoughts.

I'd rather someone backed out than had a bad time and never wanted to try again - it is all about having fun.

Life is too short to let yourself get wound up when your hopes get dashed!

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

"Think we all just need to realise that if we are willing to set up last minute meets in such a short space of time, then we should also consider the possibility that if either party has a change of mind or has to cancel for whatever reason then we are never going to get adequate notice. "

i agree totally !! i think ANY meet you have to keep in mind folks can change their minds .there are no garentees in life and certainly none in this scene .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Temp xxxxx

Cmere to a get a Kiss at ya lol xxx

Buboo x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"no jenny you didnt say ppl are obliged to have sex ,i was making a point . you have blasted a cpl as time wasters because they canx a meet when op was on route wasting his time and petrol . i was mearly giving another _iew point ! would you consider the cpl as time wasters if they decided not to take meet further after meeting the guy face to face for two minutes ?? after all still used his petrol and time ... it starts setting a dangerous presidenence . people will be worried about canx any meets at any stage for fear some would class them as time wasters and name and shame them !! sorry in my book thats not right .as i also stated what one person may class as time wasting others may not ...so where exactly do you draw this invisable line exactly??? i spoke to a guy on line here on and off and never felt felt totally comfortable and never felt a connection .when i told him this he got very abusive and said i was a time waster !! thats his opionion ...mine my gutt instinct was spot on .some people use the term time waster at slightest reason if things dont go exactly way they want . people have the right to alter their descions ,its called personal choice .difference with choice and time wasting is the deliberate intention not to go with what was agreed . op has point his _iew on here as entitled but is only the one siad. the cpl may well have a completly different version of events .we will never know if the cpl deliberatly set up meeting knowing they wouldnt go ahead with it so why condem them so quickly ???"

I stated above where I would draw the line. If I was en route to a meet (bear in mind that would mean I was probably on a plane or on a 4 hour bus journey) and I got a text saying, oh sorry I've changed my mind because your age is now a problem when it wasn't before I'd class them as timewasters and I wouldn't engage in any further contact with them. That's my personal choice. I'm not asking you to agree with it. I'm just telling you how it is ... for me. To be honest I'm a bit confused as to why you're so bothered. You do things your way, I do things mine. We clearly have different ideas on the subject. And that's cool. If I got to the meet and none of us had sex, I wouldn't care. My time wouldn't have been wasted. I'd have met the people and found that out, but in all likelihood, we'd at least have a laugh. I never expect any sexual encounter and I make it clear to potential meets not to expect it from me either. If it happens it happens, but at the very least there will be a social meeting. I hope that clears up any confusion.

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

im bothered as you have only heard ONE side of the story and straight away have blasted this cpl by saying theres no excuse and they are out of order and branding them as time wasters !LOL!! is this not being alil hastey not to mention judgemental ???

as for you not being happy if you were txt saying the age was now an issue as you were traveling 4 hours for a meet .well first of all this was a last minute meet so you are taking a huge chance that person isnt going to be what you want or exspect or get cold feet as you dont know a thing about that person !! second ,just because your willing to travel 4 hours for a meet dont mean you wont get let down for one reason or another ! the op didnt even state he had to travel that far for meet . op just said he spoke to the cpl and two hours later he was on the motorway (didnt say he had been driving 2 hours )...they could of been 15 minutes away from him we dont know ! plus we dont know if this was a cpls first meet or ANYTHING behind what may of prompted their change of mind .yet you were all too ready to jump to conclusions and have them sentenced and condemed on the forum .

i dont exspect you to agree with my point of _iew ,its just that MY _iew point .but i would hope it would give people food for thought and maybe take a step back.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/11/10 17:07:04]

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By *rian4444Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

People change their minds - that is fine and comes with these games - it is telling you that is important.

An amusing wee story - i gave people may address and mobile number with 'call or text if a problem'. Half an hour late (only short distance) - they are still online in here telling me they are standing beside their broken down car at Bridgeton Cross with apologies and cant now come.

Next morning they message me again with a further apology - but not about the broken car this time - something completey different.

What a tangeled web we weave when first we practice to deceive.......

Not even very good liars - you have to have a laugh.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

seriously wondering can anyone put a post up on here without it turning into a war of words?

auds

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wow - wasn't expecting such a load of responses and definitely didn't expect of want any tension. It's in the past and no lasting harm. Onward and upward! Thanks for taking the time to post and for the understanding even though it does come with the territory. Keep having fun and taking care.

Joe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"im bothered as you have only heard ONE side of the story and straight away have blasted this cpl by saying theres no excuse and they are out of order and branding them as time wasters !LOL!! is this not being alil hastey not to mention judgemental ???

i dont exspect you to agree with my point of _iew ,its just that MY _iew point .but i would hope it would give people food for thought and maybe take a step back."

Seriously?

I was answering the OP's post based on the question the OP asked. Giving my opinion. I'm not sure what's got your back up but I did not slate anyone, the couple in question have not been named and shamed so chill out. I'm not being judgemental, I'm stating a fact. If this had happened to me, short distance or not, unless it was for a very good reason I would think of them as timewasters. I'm sorry if this offends you, but quite frankly, it's none of your business how I decide who I meet and who I don't, who I class as timewasters and who I don't. I don't name and shame so no one's any the wiser, other than those I may "perceive" to be timewasters. You've made this into something completely different. The fact is the age thing is the excuse the OP got according to his post so its relative. I'm jumping to no conclusions, I responded to the information given.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"would you consider the cpl as time wasters if they decided not to take meet further after meeting the guy face to face for two minutes ??"

Absolutely not, but that's not what they did, is it?

If they had at least met face to face then decided he wasn't for them (as we have done on a few occasions with both singles and couples) there is no way they could be called timewasters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" plus we dont know if this was a cpls first meet or ANYTHING behind what may of prompted their change of mind ."

Yes we do.

The OP stated in his initial post that they said it was the age issue which suddenly became a problem.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Right!! The Op's info, never said if the cost of a hotel was in the equasion?

All we got was "on way to meet n got cancelled en-route" by the couple at least bothering to say so!!!

Seriously, and thats utter time wasting in some people opinion? Cool, ok.

If no hotel involved, bit of time taken up, petrol used, occupational hazzard.

And as a single guy, kickin yer heels with time to try and create a meet, technicall yes time was wasted.

Thats all. What other lush plans were put on hold i wunder?

T xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ffs the guys just havn a rant....

everyone does it.

hes prob sat wondering WTF??

auds

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ffs the guys just havn a rant....

everyone does it.

hes prob sat wondering WTF??

auds

Yep, and im just tryin to help put it in perspective for him.

As in, there are worse case scenario's if you stick around long enough.

T xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ffs the guys just havn a rant....

everyone does it.

hes prob sat wondering WTF??

auds

Aud Hun dont waste yer breath !!! Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All we got was "on way to meet n got cancelled en-route" by the couple at least bothering to say so!!!

Seriously, and thats utter time wasting in some people opinion? Cool, ok."

In our opinion,yes it is.

The OP did give the reason he got cancelled too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ffs the guys just havn a rant....

everyone does it.

hes prob sat wondering WTF??

auds

If I was him, I'd be having a bit of a rant as well. lol

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

I had a meet tonight, text the guy this afternoon to confirm time and place - even asked him if I was at hotel first what I should order for him. Sat for over an hour like a tube and no show.

Have text him again and still no answer, although I have noticed he was online when supposed to meet me - that to me is a no-show and does not get a second chance!!

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

" plus we dont know if this was a cpls first meet or ANYTHING behind what may of prompted their change of mind .

Yes we do.

The OP stated in his initial post that they said it was the age issue which suddenly became a problem."

the op mailed knowing the cpls age preference and that he was outside of that . yes they agreed to meet , are we now not allowed to reconsider descions now on the site ? i i said we dont know exactly why they changed mind,we only have ops version of event.the age may well been the easy get out for the cpl . the cpl may have just had an gutt feeling about the meet or not comfortable with it .could be first single guy they were going with and got cold feet ,the op may have been over enthusiastic with messages ..we arent in position to know WHOLE story .yet with out ALL the facts people are so ready to fling the term time waster on to them . not only in the jungle they have a kangeroo court it seems lol !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All we got was "on way to meet n got cancelled en-route" by the couple at least bothering to say so!!!

Seriously, and thats utter time wasting in some people opinion? Cool, ok.

In our opinion,yes it is.

The OP did give the reason he got cancelled too."

Ehh., you've edited that to suit you.

No wurrys, if ever u2 need to cancel short notice, hope you get an understanding one that does'nt feel the need to use the example in a forum thread ,lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All we got was "on way to meet n got cancelled en-route" by the couple at least bothering to say so!!!

Seriously, and thats utter time wasting in some people opinion? Cool, ok.

In our opinion,yes it is.

The OP did give the reason he got cancelled too."

And if as we keep saying you get given a reason for cancelling, thats a bit better than no reason, dont make it right but it aint as terrible as some get put through, we could be here till 2011, yes it does , no it does'nt ing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I had a meet tonight, text the guy this afternoon to confirm time and place - even asked him if I was at hotel first what I should order for him. Sat for over an hour like a tube and no show.

Have text him again and still no answer, although I have noticed he was online when supposed to meet me - that to me is a no-show and does not get a second chance!!"

Name and shame pinky.

How fucking dare he!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" plus we dont know if this was a cpls first meet or ANYTHING behind what may of prompted their change of mind .

Yes we do.

The OP stated in his initial post that they said it was the age issue which suddenly became a problem.

Wasn't you, was it? lol

Still timewasters of the worse sort in our opinion and no amount of "benefit of the doubt" posts are going to change that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All we got was "on way to meet n got cancelled en-route" by the couple at least bothering to say so!!!

Seriously, and thats utter time wasting in some people opinion? Cool, ok.

In our opinion,yes it is.

The OP did give the reason he got cancelled too.

Ehh., you've edited that to suit you.

No wurrys, if ever u2 need to cancel short notice, hope you get an understanding one that does'nt feel the need to use the example in a forum thread ,lol

If we ever cancel at short notice(as we have done in the past) we call the ppl/person involved and give them our very valid reason and our sincerest apologies for mucking them about, not just tell them that, a few hours on, we now consider them too old.

p.s. we edited to get the important points in.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All we got was "on way to meet n got cancelled en-route" by the couple at least bothering to say so!!!

Seriously, and thats utter time wasting in some people opinion? Cool, ok.

In our opinion,yes it is.

The OP did give the reason he got cancelled too.

Ehh., you've edited that to suit you.

No wurrys, if ever u2 need to cancel short notice, hope you get an understanding one that does'nt feel the need to use the example in a forum thread ,lol

p.s. we edited to get the important points in."

The rest of the original reply was kinda relevant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Right!! The Op's info, never said if the cost of a hotel was in the equasion?

All we got was "on way to meet n got cancelled en-route" by the couple at least bothering to say so!!!

Seriously, and thats utter time wasting in some people opinion? Cool, ok.

If no hotel involved, bit of time taken up, petrol used, occupational hazzard.

And as a single guy, kickin yer heels with time to try and create a meet, technicall yes time was wasted.

Thats all. What other lush plans were put on hold i wunder?

T xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The rest of the original reply was kinda relevant."

No it wasn't!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The rest of the original reply was kinda relevant.

No it wasn't!"

Is Pantomime season right enough,,"ohhhhh yes it was",lol

T xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's shocking - doesn't matter that they sent you a last minute text - to let you start to travel then cancel is the height of ignorance. Only wish people could be named and shamed when this kind of thing happens

Because of the timing of it,its shocking?

If they cancelled bit sooner it would of been fine?

But if they have a change of heart/mind 10 mins before it,that makes it shocking? And they become "timewasters"?

So if you have a change of heart/mind and its too near meet time you cant cancel or else us who know not the full details are free to tag them timewasters?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think its rude to do an arranged meet then cancel or no show, they need at least 24 hours notice of not meeting.

I'm a shy fella but i always turn up for meetings with the people, ok sometimes i dont feel as attracted to them as I do online thats why I never promise sex only meet to see where we take it from there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think its rude to do an arranged meet then cancel or no show, they need at least 24 hours notice of not meeting.

Ok, i once went into work the same day i was to have a much looked forward to meet, but work stuck me on an 11hour flight to LA, i never was able to cancel within 24hrs, thats me a timewaster now?

Things interupt plans,and folks equally understand that.

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

"I think its rude to do an arranged meet then cancel or no show, they need at least 24 hours notice of not meeting.

Take it you don't have kids then??? You do NOT get 24hrs notice for a child getting ill or for some other kind of REAL LIFE situation

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

[Removed by poster at 28/11/10 10:51:05]

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

i totally agree !!! life happens and like most on here the site fits in around my real life not visa versa !!

plus if ur using the meet today options on here youd have to be mystic meg to give the person 24hrs notice lol !!!

people can change their minds about meeting for any reason and at anytime ,just way human nature is !! nothing is ever garenteed .

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By *if42Man
over a year ago

dundee

"
....why can't they be named? Appreciate there may be reasons for a late cancellation but where it's simply a change of heart at least if your aware they might cancel on you whilst en route others might think twice about going?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

....why can't they be named? Appreciate there may be reasons for a late cancellation but where it's simply a change of heart at least if your aware they might cancel on you whilst en route others might think twice about going?"

"you were meant to meet us last night and you didnt show, no call, no txt, no email, your a bloody timewaster, you should be ashamed now we are going to name you for it...." thats why naming and shaming is not allowed, because its one sided and can be made up to easily if someone was to upset you. Just learn to get over it, grow a thicker skin and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

obviously we had no plans to meet but thats how easy it would be to abuse such a policy and the best reason why naming and shaming should never be allowed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People will never, should never, be named and shamed because as this threads truely proving, the one side of a story aint enough grounds to go naming and shaming and the simple fact folks cant accept circs and bad timing of cancellations, certainly does'nt entitle them to crack them up to be anything better than the next person that has a failed meet.

Some folks need to get over themselves, over the slight dissapointment and do as we all do, just stay up beat about the next meet being what we all are here for, FUN!!

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

I am blaming, naming and shaming... the SNOW!!!!! the bloody white stuff has totally messed me about this week!!

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

the bastard !! it done same to me aswell !! hope admin will take action and get rid of the snow so swinging can be resumed as normal lol !!!

typical though isnt it ,exact time when you can do with some body heat you cant get it lol !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

theres always a way if its needed so badly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"theres always a way if its needed so badly

Where there's a Will there's a way P4U

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

"theres always a way if its needed so badly

Where there's a Will there's a way P4U

not if it involves trying to open airports!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People will never, should never, be named and shamed because as this threads truely proving, the one side of a story aint enough grounds to go naming and shaming"

lol, how is it proving that?

All it's "proving" is that you think your opinion is the right one.

We would disagree with you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

now theres a surprise xix lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"theres always a way if its needed so badly

Yes? Ah, never thought, should have hired a chopper to winch her out when she got snowed in!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People will never, should never, be named and shamed because as this threads truely proving, the one side of a story aint enough grounds to go naming and shaming

lol, how is it proving that?

All it's "proving" is that you think your opinion is the right one.

We would disagree with you!"

Grrrroovy,lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"People will never, should never, be named and shamed because as this threads truely proving, the one side of a story aint enough grounds to go naming and shaming and the simple fact folks cant accept circs and bad timing of cancellations, certainly does'nt entitle them to crack them up to be anything better than the next person that has a failed meet..."

Wisest words here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"now theres a surprise xix lol

Lmao, well we do. Not just me tho, J disagrees as well and has said so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wisest words here. "

In your opinion. Again, we would have to disagree. lol

Isn't this fun

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

naming and shaming on the site would just cause a can of worms to be opened and easy for spiteful peopl to abuse .

i coul;d say i was due to meet you and you canx at the last second with a feeble excuse ...... total lie of course but just that easy for the less reputable people on site to muddy the geniune folks on here . think it would be the actual timewasters whod be doing the naming and shameing lol!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is this current weather etc THE prime example of a major potential cause of a cancelation.

You check roads are ok, you tell meet your on way, halfway there suddenly roads aint ok, you turn round because of the fear of both not getting there or at least think chances of getting home dont look good.

Nobody would be a timewaster, nobody would deserve to be tagged one but,it could be as near as ten minutes from meet time it happened.

T x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is this current weather etc THE prime example of a major potential cause of a cancelation.

Nobody would be a timewaster, nobody would deserve to be tagged one but,it could be as near as ten minutes from meet time it happened.

T x"

Make perfect sense, but don’t expect everyone to agree, some people live to swing, it’s like taking a junkies last fix, they’ll never accept things can get in the way whether its reasonable or not, obviously its whole different story if it was them that was forced to cancel last minute though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is this current weather etc THE prime example of a major potential cause of a cancelation."

The weather had exactly feck all to do with the reason the OP was given.

We all know that cancellations happen for numerous and varied genuine reasons.

I've had to leave mid meet because of a family emergency.

He, however, was fed a big pile of shite about an age issue that wasn't an issue when he set out.

There is a difference.

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By *if42Man
over a year ago

dundee

Some folks need to get over themselves, over the slight dissapointment and do as we all do, just stay up beat about the next meet being what we all are here for, FUN!!"
...in this example dunno that it's a case of anyone getting over themselves...it's a fucker being on en route for long enough to someone knowing your outwith their age preference before you set out only for them to change their minds! I do appreciate there are two sides to every story but personally I'd like a way of knowing who these people are, bit like the old buyer beware policy. Knowing would at least let you take extra precautions befpre travelling, whatever they might be.

Guess the answer if the genral consensus is no naming and shaming is simply contacting the person 'slighted' and asking them who it was.

Interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is this current weather etc THE prime example of a major potential cause of a cancelation.

The weather had exactly feck all to do with the reason the OP was given.

We all know that cancellations happen for numerous and varied genuine reasons.

I've had to leave mid meet because of a family emergency.

He, however, was fed a big pile of shite about an age issue that wasn't an issue when he set out.

There is a difference."

Seriously, and your all so full o sympathy for him as if its a "First", its so terrible? Its "get the feckers" that did this?

As i keep saying. and others do, had worse cases of getting messed about and i understand its a bit dissapointing, but thats as much as it can be, ohh merry christmas when it comes, good will to all men n all that.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is this current weather etc THE prime example of a major potential cause of a cancelation.

The weather had exactly feck all to do with the reason the OP was given.

We all know that cancellations happen for numerous and varied genuine reasons.

I've had to leave mid meet because of a family emergency.

He, however, was fed a big pile of shite about an age issue that wasn't an issue when he set out.

There is a difference."

There’s no difference, that’s the whole point, people can give any reason they wish to cancel a meet, and how do any of us know that they didn’t just say it was the age thing to let him down gently, or if something was said during the conversation that made them uncomfortable after having time to think about it, we all just have to accept these things happen and that anyone can change their minds at anytime without having their reasons questioned.

At the end of the day all that’s written on here is a one sided story, how anyone can conclude anything from that is beyond belief, which is probably why some people think naming and shaming will never work, because it seems that one side of a story is enough for some people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you've only got one side to a story that's all you can go on.

Why is that so "beyond belief"?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Seriously, and your all so full o sympathy for him as if its a "First", its so terrible? Its "get the feckers" that did this?"

Yeah we have sympathy for him and because it's not a first doesn't make it right.

We've said nothing about "get the feckers".

You seem to be defending the couple rather strongly. Kinda odd when, as a single guy, the shoe could be firmly on your foot next time.

Maybe you don't mind being fucked about on a whim by ppl.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you've only got one side to a story that's all you can go on.

Why is that so "beyond belief"?"

Do you really need to ask that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you've only got one side to a story that's all you can go on.

Why is that so "beyond belief"?

Do you really need to ask that?"

I thought we just had!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If you've only got one side to a story that's all you can go on.

Why is that so "beyond belief"?

Do you really need to ask that?

I thought we just had!"

So you believe hearing one side of a story, a sketchy one at that, is enough to name and shame someone

We obviously have differing opinions which we’re both entitled to but personally we believe anyone has the right to change their mind at any given time, doesn’t matter to us what the reasons given are, the outcome is the same, they don’t want to meet us its as simple as that, so we’d move on to someone who did and put it down to bad luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anyway .....

A few years ago i took a female out for a romantic meal and drinks,they called it Dating @ the time.

We had decided to move on to a late night Cinema too watch a romantic film,a really liked this idea and was getting very excited

However....

As we waited on the film too start the Cinema had a Powercut,Fkn typical,so we had too leave...

Hows About That For a NO SHOW

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So you believe hearing one side of a story, a sketchy one at that, is enough to name and shame someone

Sorry, we're missing something here.

What bit of his story is sketchy?

Yes, we realise it is one side of it.

The OP has given his account.

How you come to the conclusion that it's "sketchy" from the information he's provided is baffling.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You’re obviously on some sort of wind up here

It’s sketchy because it doesn’t include all detail, it only includes the details that are important to the post.

Still not sure why it makes any difference, people can and should be able to change their minds at any given time, and its lucky for the OP that they did it when he was starting his journey rather than just saying nothing.

He said described it as a no show, we personaly, think it was a cancelation.

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"You’re obviously on some sort of wind up here

It’s sketchy because it doesn’t include all detail, it only includes the details that are important to the post.

He said described it as a no show, we personaly, think it was a cancelation."

Agreed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You’re obviously on some sort of wind up here

lol, not on a wind up at all.

Just been on the recieving end of a few timewasters ourselves, as have a lot of our friends.

Quite funny to note the single guys jumping to the defence of the couple (who haven't given ANY side to the story). Maybe they're hedging for a meet. lol

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

[Removed by poster at 02/12/10 16:29:31]

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"You’re obviously on some sort of wind up here

lol, not on a wind up at all.

Just been on the recieving end of a few timewasters ourselves, as have a lot of our friends.

Quite funny to note the single guys jumping to the defence of the couple (who haven't given ANY side to the story). Maybe they're hedging for a meet. lol

* Too many "then"s in the last version! *

Why would me agreeing with them mean I was hedging for a meet?

I don't agree with your point of _iew on whether or not what the OP described should be classed as timewasting! The people cancelled the meet, they didn't wait until he got to theirs and then say no and sent him packing, now that would be timewasting.

Hopefully your next "pearl of wisdom" on me might actually be accurate in your next "wind up" reply!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You’re obviously on some sort of wind up here

lol, not on a wind up at all.

Just been on the recieving end of a few timewasters ourselves, as have a lot of our friends.

Quite funny to note the single guys jumping to the defence of the couple (who haven't given ANY side to the story). Maybe they're hedging for a meet. lol

Don’t need anyone to jump to our defence, you're just being childish now, it doesn’t take Einstein to work out it that this was a cancellation and not a no show, but if you think that people have no right to cancel meets just because you’ve had problems with timewasters in the past then thats your call, just don’t expect everyone to agree thats all.

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By *hoseboots1952Couple
over a year ago

grangemouth

if that cpl knew you had to travel a fair distance then i think its awful they left it so long before texting you.they have no consideration for the logistics of arranging meets. they at least DID text you, albeit a bit(!!) late in the day, so you werent left hanging around waiting at the meeting point. so sorry it happened tho, we know what thats like, we never got any message, just a complete no show and no replies via texts or emails.BUMMER!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

shit happens,,,get over it and hope your next meet is better

auds xx

ps,,,wonders how long ago this happened,,,and still it rumbles on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What lies beneath all this is,and i bet its true for most, yes he had a dissapointing set of circumstances and a meet was called off, those of us reading it though, bet the next thing you just may of found yourselves saying was, "i've been dealt worse than that", thats it in a nutshell for me,and thats why theres a wee bit of understanding for the OP, and a likewise understanding of the other people too.

"Timewasters"? "Name and shame them"?

Theres enough, "Gossip", "rumours","guess what i heards" and daft playground mentality rattling around on here to keep folks going into 2011 without flogging this thread,lol

Merry Christmas,

T xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hopefully your next "pearl of wisdom" on me might actually be accurate in your next "wind up" reply!"

So because you don't agree with us our replies are wind ups?

Excellent. You're a class act

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don’t need anyone to jump to our defence, you're just being childish now,"

As you're a couple and we were referring to single guys defending the couple in question (we're assuming it isn't you. Maybe it is tho) we're not saying you need defended.

Childish? lol. We think not.

It's called debate, having an opinion and having a differing _iew to yours.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" ps,,,wonders how long ago this happened,,,and still it rumbles on

Just like the snow

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats one swingers favourite couple is another swingers least favourite couple.

Someones timewaster is another swingers "best meet ever".

Meets are fragile,time precious things and sometimes they come together with no probs, other times they dont.

Been there n done that.

Nothing in this threads been shocking, more like part n part of what occurs, nothing else.

T (unshocked),lol

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"Hopefully your next "pearl of wisdom" on me might actually be accurate in your next "wind up" reply!

So because you don't agree with us our replies are wind ups?

Excellent. You're a class act

Nah it was you saying I was only agreeing with the couple to get a meet that I was meaning as the "wind up" you are entitled to your opinion just the same as I am!

And cheers for the compliment as I know I am a class act.

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