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Helping women understand men

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By *ikerbob1957 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.

Don't ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as The origins of navel lint, Sport and Motorbikes.

Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.

Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

Anything you wear is fine. Really.

You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.

Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

I don't know what day it is. I never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

Yes, urinating standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.

Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

Check your own oil.

Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the

magazines.

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awesome!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One addition needed

No matter how old we seem, we never actually grow up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. Live with it.

Don't ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as The origins of navel lint, Sport and Motorbikes.

Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat.

Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period.

Anything you wear is fine. Really.

You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.

Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work.

I don't know what day it is. I never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar.

Yes, urinating standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes.

Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers.

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend.

Foreign films are best left to foreigners.

Check your own oil.

Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.

Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one.

Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women, how can we know how pretty you are?

Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.

You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done - not both.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we.

Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.

Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the

magazines.

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out.

"

This was doing the rounds on fb a wee while ago.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahahahaha love it so funny but true . Need to do one on men revenge LOL

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hahahahaha love it so funny but true . Need to do one on men revenge LOL "
youd never manage,we are all perfect(yes i have thrown down the gauntlet)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmmmm thought you were going to tell us something we didn't already know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Classic!??

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By *oe bloggs69Man
over a year ago

fife

Hey cats are cool,dogs are too much hassle nowadays

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Another few additions -

If you are going to be a helpless woman at least dress up for assistance.

If it's near the laundry basket it's meant for the laundry basket, we just didn't get it in when we threw it that way.

Socks don't need to match exactly. Black socks are black socks.

We like red underwear. It's just a thing. Don't ask why.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One addition needed

No matter how old we seem, we never actually grow up"

Is that right T.C.

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By *ikerbob1957 OP   Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

How true is the wonder bra and low cut top? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So many wrong points. But hey, everyone fits a stereotype

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And it's not going to suck itself

John

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol pretty funny. I'm sure most folks on here can relate to something on there.

P x

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