FabSwingers.com forum: A question about FBs/FWBs

By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

I've just been told that people might not want to meet with us because we aren't a real couple, and this has got me thinking, why not? I know some may cite that it's not a stable relationship, for example.

We describe ourself as friends with benefits because that's what we are. To us, a fuck buddy is someone you give a booty call to, and then goes away again until the next time.

Mr is one of my closest friends - we talk a few times a day, we spend time together without having sex, we give each other birthday/Christmas presents, we can talk to each other about anything and are always there for each other. And the sex is fantastic.

Is it just that he's married that makes us appear less stable? What about those in the same position where both parties are single? And are they less stable than those real couples who also play separately?

Or is it another reason altogether? Genuinely curious on people's thoughts. Although I'd appreciate no comments about his marital status, this is a question about FBs/FWBs. Thanks.

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By *oe bloggs69Man
over a year ago

fife

At least yr upfront about it n if u two r happy then u shouldn't give a fk what others think

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"At least yr upfront about it n if u two r happy then u shouldn't give a fk what others think"

Thanks, but the question really is why some people feel they will only meet 'real' couples as opposed to FBs/FWBs. In that, what do they feel one offers while the other doesn't?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree theres a big diff between a fk buddy and fwb at least you both are honest and open on here about the situation few couples claim to be real living together couples and they arnt but there choice as is your choice to your relationship its just another fab situation where some judge too quickly

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By *heGronkMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

It could be that he's married (to someone else) and some people have an issue with that. Unlikely to be anything to do with "what you can offer", more the potential fallout if he gets caught - assuming his wife doesn't know.

If you were FBs and he wasn't attached, I reckon more people would be fine with it.

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

You answered your own question the male half of your relationship is married how can he be there for you all the time when his actual family need him sorry I dont buy the cheat storys plenty think it works hell some folk believe they are saving folks relationships by cheating me I dislike the dishonesty its that simple

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

When we first went to a club, we met a guy there who contacted us afterwards. During conversation he asked if we were together, and was surprised when I said I was single.

His response was that out of all the couples that attended that night, we seemed the most like a couple

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By *oe bloggs69Man
over a year ago

fife

Aye too many fookin judges and jurers on here

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"It could be that he's married (to someone else) and some people have an issue with that. Unlikely to be anything to do with "what you can offer", more the potential fallout if he gets caught - assuming his wife doesn't know.

If you were FBs and he wasn't attached, I reckon more people would be fine with it. "

But I have seen comments here about people who don't play with FBs at all. So if some of those consisted of single people, why would they still not meet them?

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"You answered your own question the male half of your relationship is married how can he be there for you all the time when his actual family need him sorry I dont buy the cheat storys plenty think it works hell some folk believe they are saving folks relationships by cheating me I dislike the dishonesty its that simple"

Again, I wasn't inviting comment on his marriage, I also posed the question about FBs who are both single.

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By *oe bloggs69Man
over a year ago

fife

Only ppl I won't meet are single profiles who have a "friend" lurking in the background

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"Only ppl I won't meet are single profiles who have a "friend" lurking in the background"

You mean the ones that ask at the last minute if you mind if their friend comes along?

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By *oe bloggs69Man
over a year ago

fife

Aye them

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

[Removed by poster at 20/02/15 17:42:42]

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

Again, I wasn't inviting comment on his marriage, I also posed the question about FBs who are both single. "
im with someone we are both on single profiles there is no dishonesty we only meet cpls together if we want to as I said for me its the dishonesty that makes me steer clear of these folk

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

" im with someone we are both on single profiles there is no dishonesty we only meet cpls together if we want to as I said for me its the dishonesty that makes me steer clear of these folk"

And the question I asked was why some people choose to meet real couples rather than FB/FWB couples. Even if those FBs are both single. Do you have any comment on that subject?

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

" im with someone we are both on single profiles there is no dishonesty we only meet cpls together if we want to as I said for me its the dishonesty that makes me steer clear of these folk

And the question I asked was why some people choose to meet real couples rather than FB/FWB couples. Even if those FBs are both single. Do you have any comment on that subject?"
alot of fb/fwb on here are just that two individuals that dont really know each other that well depends what you are looking for I have no intrest in just fu**ing anyone friendship is a min req for others its all about sex

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

" alot of fb/fwb on here are just that two individuals that dont really know each other that well depends what you are looking for I have no intrest in just fu**ing anyone friendship is a min req for others its all about sex "

As I've said, we aren't fuck buddies (a term I hate, by the way), we are friends and we do know each other well.

Do you think that maybe if others stopped calling themselves buddies and used FWB instead, people would be more approachable to that?

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

For me it would make no diffrence I class both terms the same if I meet a cpl they are a cpl who know each other well and there is honesty no one being decieved two singles together I would be fine with as no deception but not if they just got together yes im being judgemental but for me this works

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"For me it would make no diffrence I class both terms the same if I meet a cpl they are a cpl who know each other well and there is honesty no one being decieved two singles together I would be fine with as no deception but not if they just got together yes im being judgemental but for me this works"

That's your choice

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By *andACouple
over a year ago

glasgow

We don't meet fb or fbw couples. Although we aren't married we've lived together for a number of years and when doing something so intimate we just prefer others who are in a similar situation.

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"We don't meet fb or fbw couples. Although we aren't married we've lived together for a number of years and when doing something so intimate we just prefer others who are in a similar situation."

So it's a shared experience then, which FBs don't have. That's helpful, thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We look for couples very similar to ourselves, and this has always worked for us. And no offence, but the married part would matter to us. It means to us, someone is being hurt and cheated on, that's not swinging to us. But am sure their are plenty folks who would look past this (Mr)

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"We look for couples very similar to ourselves, and this has always worked for us. And no offence, but the married part would matter to us. It means to us, someone is being hurt and cheated on, that's not swinging to us. But am sure their are plenty folks who would look past this (Mr)

No offence taken, we understand it's not for everyone.

It was just that the FB situation was raised and it made me curious as to why people would or wouldn't meet them

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By *riction addictionMan
over a year ago

bathgate

Think two big things that are required on here are honesty and discretion from wot av read u got those boxes ticked

Far as the whole cheating thing goes av had a married fb was never an issue to me

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I have read in the past the FWB couple are SOMETIMES perceived as one member ( usually male ) exploiting the other ( usually female ) to get meets, they see it easier if a female on their arm

and that the female is hoping for more in the context of love/relationship and going along in the hope it deepens into that.

as I said, I have read that being said. There may or may not be any substance to that.

good luck, you strike me as a very honest poster on these forums

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

and that may put other couples off.

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

Much appreciated

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Much appreciated

I answered in both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As already said ,for some cpl's FB/FWB cpls can be seen as one half using the other half to get more meets.

Others may also feel that a cpl who are together just for sex may not have that spark/connection/chemistry when playing as a cpl. This may lead to the assumption that they will play almost like singles instead of working together when playing with others.

Certainly not all playmate cpls are like that but unfortunately that seems to be general feeling.

Why not go to a club together and let people see the chemistry you have together and how you work as a cpl to enjoy fun with others.

There are cpls and singles who actually prefer playing with playmate couples, so best of luck in finding peeps that are looking for what you both have to offer as a 'cpl'

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

"As already said ,for some cpl's FB/FWB cpls can be seen as one half using the other half to get more meets.

Certainly not all playmate cpls are like that but unfortunately that seems to be general feeling.

Why not go to a club together and let people see the chemistry you have together and how you work as a cpl to enjoy fun with others.

There are cpls and singles who actually prefer playing with playmate couples, so best of luck in finding peeps that are looking for what you both have to offer as a 'cpl'

Oh we do, we have club verifications, and we're very much a team. It's just that someone commented on the FWB situation today and I thought it would be interesting to see why some people choose not to meet them.

Some very interesting points coming across

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm put off meeting FBs because quite frankly usually these come in the form of single male profiles and when you're about to meet they ask if their FB can join. Big nono as I like to speak to both halves of the couple.

FWB on as a couples profile is different as you can get a bit of chat from the two. Although in my experience, some couples aren't interested because they don't think you have as good a connection as them which could lead to jealousy issues before/during/after the meet. I don't necessarily believe this depends on status but it has been said in the past

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

None of us have any right to judge, there is only one person who can do that! If it works for you and u ain't hurting anyone go for it... happy shagging I say!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree theres a big diff between a fk buddy and fwb at least you both are honest and open on here about the situation few couples claim to be real living together couples and they arnt but there choice as is your choice to your relationship its just another fab situation where some judge too quickly

Well said

Cue the moral indignation brigade

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've just been told that people might not want to meet with us because we aren't a real couple, and this has got me thinking, why not? I know some may cite that it's not a stable relationship, for example.

We describe ourself as friends with benefits because that's what we are. To us, a fuck buddy is someone you give a booty call to, and then goes away again until the next time.

Or is it another reason altogether? Genuinely curious on people's thoughts. Although I'd appreciate no comments about his marital status, this is a question about FBs/FWBs. Thanks."

This is us - and it's for the following reasons (all built up from experience over the last year)

As a couple having sex with other people we want a connection, we are close knit and know each other's bodies well. We desire a couple with a similar background to this (ie long term stable relationship) as we prefer the dynamic it creates. You mention your experience at CJs and how much of your behaviour is couple like but it's not the same. Plus not all FBs / FWBs are like you.

We like meets with couples to be social as well, in your specific circumstances where you have a small window AND can't accommodate (I think I read that in your profile?) then it puts all the emphasis on us and takes away the getting to everyone bit.

FBs / FWBs are an unknown - you don't live together or have a bond like a married couple. If it goes wrong you can walk away - as a couple being respectful of each other through is paramount

And, as is so often said on here, it's our preference based on our perception of what a FB /FWB relationship is

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By *oobsandballs OP Man
over a year ago

st andrews

Interesting, thanks.

Yes our window of availability is currently small, but hoping to rectify that soon.

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