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Make me smile

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Im on a downer.

...go ahead punk, make me smile.

If you can be bothered, add a joke or something nice to this thread and see the reaction...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've a basket of kittens here with your name on...now cheer the fuck up!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've a basket of kittens here with your name on...now cheer the fuck up!!!!!!

"

I WANT!!!

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By *ckleticklesWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Clouds are all murky and angry getting ready to open again... lying in bed listening to the rain thunder down is therapeutic and good for the soul...and if it starts to storm and the lightning strikes, then all the better. My wee nose will be pressed against the glass watching it all......but then I'll get horny and miss the end of it....he he he

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've a basket of kittens here with your name on...now cheer the fuck up!!!!!!

"

OMG!

Thats done it

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Clouds are all murky and angry getting ready to open again... lying in bed listening to the rain thunder down is therapeutic and good for the soul...and if it starts to storm and the lightning strikes, then all the better. My wee nose will be pressed against the glass watching it all......but then I'll get horny and miss the end of it....he he he"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now I've got Steve Harley , Make Me Smile going round my head.

Love that song.

Dx

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By *umboarderMan
over a year ago

east lothian

“A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?" The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, her breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions." "Onions?" the son asks. "Yes. You see them and they make you cry." This infuriates his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, "Mom, how many different kinds of penises are there?" The mother smiles and says, "Well, dear, a man also goes through three phases. In his 20s, his penis is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it's like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it's like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?" the daughter asks. "Yes: Dead from the root up, and the balls are just for decoration.”

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"“A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, "Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?" The father, surprised, answers, "Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, her breasts are like melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like onions." "Onions?" the son asks. "Yes. You see them and they make you cry." This infuriates his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, "Mom, how many different kinds of penises are there?" The mother smiles and says, "Well, dear, a man also goes through three phases. In his 20s, his penis is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it's like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it's like a Christmas tree." "A Christmas tree?" the daughter asks. "Yes: Dead from the root up, and the balls are just for decoration.” "

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

Hamsters on little tiny roller-skates having a whale of a time when no one is looking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mate just got back from africa last week, he canny stop buying raffle tickets...

.... he's been diagnosed with tombola

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Hamsters on little tiny roller-skates having a whale of a time when no one is looking "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My mate just got back from africa last week, he canny stop buying raffle tickets...

.... he's been diagnosed with tombola "

Hahhaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was refused a job the other day on my application I put about a gangbang apparently does count as team work

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I was refused a job the other day on my application I put about a gangbang apparently does count as team work "

Hahaha

Oh God - imagine a swinger related job interview

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im just listening to leonard cohen,should try tha.........oh hang in wrong thread

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By *umboarderMan
over a year ago

east lothian

“A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!" Over the next several months, he saw her doing this often. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning differently. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, and started stroking himself, moaning, "I need a bike! I need a bike!”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jimmy, a wee shy Glaswegian bloke goes to his local one night where he see's a beautiful young woman sitting by herself at the bar, after about an hour he gets up, goes over and very politely asks if he can buy her a drink.

The woman leaps off her seat and screams "no i do not want to go back to yours for a shag" Jimmy Scurried back to his seat in embarrassment, about 15 mins later the young woman walked over and said "sorry if i upset you but im doing research for my PHD into how men react in stressful situations"

Jimmy jumped up and shouted "£150, no fucking chance"

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