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Dirty Jokes...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

...anyone got any good ones?

I've not heard a funny one for at least a day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 prostitutes sitting in a cafe talking about the kind of punters they are getting.

1st says"the usual,big flash cars and lots of money but tiny cocks".

her pal says"your going for the wrong ones,go for the wee deformed ones they have huge cocks".

"I'll give it a try"says the first.

next day she is walking down the street when she sees a wee fella with a hump on his back and thinks"i'll try him".

she says"would you like to come up the stairs for half an hour?"

"Ive nae money misses"he says

"Its on the house"

"A free shag?lovely"

He goes upstairs and drops his trousers and his cock was nearly 11 inches long.

"Oh thats lovely,can i kiss it?"asks the hooker

wee fella says"missus,you can kiss it,caress it,fondle it,bite it or sook it,bit for fuck sake dont blow up it,thats how i got this hump on my back"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guys in a nightclub in edinburgh,and he pulls this wee woman with a hump on her back,so they leave the club and they are taking a romantic walk along portobello sea front,all of a sudden the guy jumps the barrier and starts digging a hole in the sand.

"What the hell are you on?"asks the woman.

he says"its for your hump,its a ride i want not a fucking see-saw"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guys in a nightclub in edinburgh,and he pulls this wee woman with a hump on her back,so they leave the club and they are taking a romantic walk along portobello sea front,all of a sudden the guy jumps the barrier and starts digging a hole in the sand.

"What the hell are you on?"asks the woman.

he says"its for your hump,its a ride i want not a fucking see-saw" "

I had to think.....ha ha or lmao as the young uns say

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By *outhsider101Man
over a year ago

glasgow

met a girl once and she told me her name was Carmen, cos she liked cars and men.... so i told her my name was Charlie Beerfanny!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Guys in a nightclub in edinburgh,and he pulls this wee woman with a hump on her back,so they leave the club and they are taking a romantic walk along portobello sea front,all of a sudden the guy jumps the barrier and starts digging a hole in the sand.

"What the hell are you on?"asks the woman.

he says"its for your hump,its a ride i want not a fucking see-saw" "

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By *976scottMan
over a year ago

North Lanarkshire

Reminds me I should be posting;)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mr dlt you been on sickapedia again,

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By *homCrownMan
over a year ago

West Fife

Guy goes into a bar accompanied by a cat and an ostrich.

The guy buys a round of drinks from the quizical barman and the trio stand at bar chatting.

A while later, the ostrich buys the next round from an increasingly inquisitive barman.

Some time later and with empty glasses the ostrich and bloke look at the cat. The cat sats, "what?".

In unison they say, "its your round!"

The cat says, "oh eh is that the time, I'll need tae shoot the craw (go home) ... it was a Glaswegian cat...

At this the barman steps in and says, hey, wait a minute, whats the script with the cat? Yous two have both bought a round, whats up with the cat?

The fact that a cat and ostrich were in the bar drinking seems to have slipped over the barman's head, however...

The guy says to the barman, well, a while ago I was walking along the beach at St. Andrews and I found an old lamp. I took it home and cleanded it up. As II was polishing, ... POOF!... a genie appeared and granted me two wishes. I thought for a few moments and said, I wish for a bird with long legs and a tight pussy.....

...well this is what I got!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Mr dlt you been on sickapedia again, "
nope

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A man and a woman were having drinks when they got into an argument about who enjoyed sex more. The man said, "Men obviously enjoy sex more than women. Why do you think we're so obsessed with getting laid?" "That doesn't prove anything," the woman countered. "Think about this: when your ear itches and you stick your little finger in it, wiggle it around, and then pull it out, which feels better—your ear or your finger?

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