FabSwingers.com forum: Deleting without reading!!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Right first off I can understand some people deleting a msg without reading if there is no picture attached when they have asked for a picture. What really annoys me is when you send a message and it is obviously deleted without being read. Maybe it is because I am old fashioned but surely saying 'hey' or 'thanks but no thanks' takes a minute. Especially when the message itself has been polite and sometimes even a bit witty.( I have my moments,hehe)

Anyway, rant over, just think some people are very rude, seems to be more poser types too but ah well. Maybe I'm having a bad day but would love to hear anyone elses thoughts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it depends who sent it but I try to reply even to say NO. However some folks persist and ask again a few days / weeks later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

got to admit that we are on the similar boat when it comes to mail being read and deleted, only takes a moment to reply. Do not buy it when people say they havent got time as if they have time to read it and look on your page, they have time to reply, we know this for a fact as ee have two young kids amingst others things filling up our time x

but, we all need to take the good and the bad with the site xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

dont worry about it ..... in a way its good they havent taken the time to reply, least u find out at an early stage how rude they actually are and not worthy of a meets anyways xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many times does this have to be said lol... its the same every time.. with the same answer... get over it and move on! it happens to all of us at some time, and no matter how much we moan on it it will always happen! why waste time worrying?? just my 2p worth lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because, believe it or not, people do have a life out with swinging and havnt got all day to reply to all their mails.

You as a guy probably get 2 or 3 mails a day? Single girls will get hundreds a week... And if they do reply saying no thanks some of them then start to question why.

So, for many, much easier to ignore.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I admit i have done this but its usually when its mail from someone who obviously hasnt read the profile as they are out with my age range or they are in england or somewhere where there is absolutely no chance of me meeting them , not done out of rudenss but having lots of mail and I do normally reply even if it is just to say no thanks. Never done to slight the person sending but i would suggest read a profile all through first before contacting someone but failing that dont let it get u down , move on to someone who will be much more ur cup of tea, my tuppence worth , take care .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it was your choice to write, the person did not ask you to write.

it is their choice what they do with that message.

writing a 'no thanks' does take time....even if you had nothing to do at all, it is still your time so your choice how you want to fill it and the assumption that you should use your free time to write to someone you dont know and never will always seems a little bizarre.

is the fact the message has been deleted not already an indication that the person is not interested. what additional information can you hope to gain by that person saying "no thanks"?

i dont respond since getting the usual abusive responses that rejection sometimes brings.

i'm not rude nor ignorant as anyone that has entered into dialogue with me will, i'm sure, be happy to testify. however, i do have a right to decide how act on here and i'm glad i dont set my standards by how others dictate

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Haha ach I know people have lives outside this site and I realise that some lucky people do receive hundreds of messages it's just my opinion.. Iv driven hundreds of thousands of miles but every now and then I have a rant about someone cutting me off on the roads, not because I'm shocked or angry or think it shouldn't happen to me but just because it pissed me off and I needed to vent a bit. I feel better for venting. I'm well over it now. Il always reply to messages, maybe as I only get one a week from wanting to suck me even though I'm straight.haha. I'm even polite to them a you never know when it might get lonely one night.haha

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By *egs4uWoman
over a year ago

somewhere around

"I admit i have done this but its usually when its mail from someone who obviously hasnt read the profile as they are out with my age range or they are in england or somewhere where there is absolutely no chance of me meeting them , not done out of rudenss but having lots of mail and I do normally reply even if it is just to say no thanks. Never done to slight the person sending but i would suggest read a profile all through first before contacting someone but failing that dont let it get u down , move on to someone who will be much more ur cup of tea, my tuppence worth , take care .

Totally agree thongz

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

awww i want hundreds of mails a week!!!! lol

auds xx

ps,,,in life shit happens,,just smile,,shrug your shoulders and move on xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/07/10 17:58:25]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"awww i want hundreds of mails a week!!!! lol

auds xx

ps,,,in life shit happens,,just smile,,shrug your shoulders and move on xx

I like this idea but every now and then I like to add 'Have a major rant' right at the start and it makes everything seem magic. haha x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol juicy

thats the best bit about being a woman,,,we get to rant everyday!!!

auds xx

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"It is obviously deleted without being read. "

Obviously? How have you worked that out?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Theory,,,,"Its a Tuesday thing"?

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"Right first off I can understand some people deleting a msg without reading if there is no picture attached when they have asked for a picture. What really annoys me is when you send a message and it is obviously deleted without being read. Maybe it is because I am old fashioned but surely saying 'hey' or 'thanks but no thanks' takes a minute. Especially when the message itself has been polite and sometimes even a bit witty.( I have my moments,hehe)

Anyway, rant over, just think some people are very rude, seems to be more poser types too but ah well. Maybe I'm having a bad day but would love to hear anyone elses thoughts.

Here we go again!!

Sorry but you can never tell whether or not a mail has been read or not before it is deleted!

It is not as if you get a "read receipt" like you do with other email programs such as Outlook. You send an unsolicited mail to someone and if they decide to read it and then delete or simply delete it all you see next to that unsolicited mail is "Deleted"

Like others have already said, if they don't reply & delete your mail then tuff luck, get over it, stop moaning about it and move on!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Here we go again!!

Sorry but you can never tell whether or not a mail has been read or not before it is deleted!

Like others have already said, if they don't reply & delete your mail then tuff luck, get over it, stop moaning about it and move on!"

yeah I understand and as I have mentioned earlier, I just needed a wee rant, I have no way of knowing if someone deleted a message without reading it or if they just didnt like the look of me. I just had a bad day and felt like a moan, then commented on here that it was all fine and I was moaning about nothing more or less.lol.

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

covered under frequently ask q and a .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We delete certain messages without reading them because the ppl that send them obviously haven't read our profile.

If they had bothered to read it they wouldn't have sent the message in the first place.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Messaged plenty with the age limits etc, and if worded nicely enough,there is likewise no need to clinically block some guy who for example may be inviting you to a super fun swinging party.

I do see also why opting to block the oblivious types who just systematically fire a standard ask to people.

T xx

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By *0tmilkMan
over a year ago

kircaldy

Yeah nips me that I've made the effort to message someone and not so much as a "no ta" in a reply!

Actually today I did get a no ta reply, and I actually felt great! Not because I'd been turned down of course, but just that someone finally replied.

I get scunnered when folk say they won't reply to short messages, I've given up wasting my time on long messages until I strike up a conversation with someone WORTH sending a long message to!

It makes you right jaded! Shame!

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"Yeah nips me that I've made the effort to message someone and not so much as a "no ta" in a reply!

Actually today I did get a no ta reply, and I actually felt great! Not because I'd been turned down of course, but just that someone finally replied.

I get scunnered when folk say they won't reply to short messages, I've given up wasting my time on long messages until I strike up a conversation with someone WORTH sending a long message to!

It makes you right jaded! Shame!"

And off it goes again!

Folk will no doubt get scunnered too at receiving your unsolicited mail and they can do what they like with it i.e. delete it without replying!

No one has to reply "no ta" to the mail they receive if they don't want to and if you keep letting it scunner you then your will be even more jaded than you say you are already!

If you really believe the folk you are sending the short messages to aren't WORTH sending a decent one to then no wonder you are getting no replies. If they aren't WORTH sending a decent message to why send it in the first place to try and meet these people that aren't WORTH it?

Like I already said earlier in this thread - if they don't reply & delete your mail then tuff luck, get over it, stop moaning about it and move on!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

heres a wee suggestion....

dont look at your sent messages! we dont, we really dont care if peeps reply or not, we're honestly having a blast here on fab, the site is what you make it and we're making it the happiest place on earth lol

happy swinging all and stop yer winging!

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By *0tmilkMan
over a year ago

kircaldy

And off it goes again!

Folk will no doubt get scunnered too at receiving your unsolicited mail and they can do what they like with it i.e. delete it without replying!

No one has to reply "no ta" to the mail they receive if they don't want to and if you keep letting it scunner you then your will be even more jaded than you say you are already!

Like I already said earlier in this thread - if they don't reply & delete your mail then tuff luck, get over it, stop moaning about it and move on!

This sounds like your encouraging a cleak, which is the death of sites like these.

To be honest I read profiles and if someone says what they are looking for and I think I meat their criteria I email them. Thats not unsolicited surely? Its trying to spark up a conversation.

It takes very little to be polite, and it encourages everyone... rather than putting folk off and then for them to bitch on the forums.

I'd much rather be yapping away and making new friends and not getting frustrated at the lack of help and friendliness.

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

And off it goes again!

Folk will no doubt get scunnered too at receiving your unsolicited mail and they can do what they like with it i.e. delete it without replying!

No one has to reply "no ta" to the mail they receive if they don't want to and if you keep letting it scunner you then your will be even more jaded than you say you are already!

Like I already said earlier in this thread - if they don't reply & delete your mail then tuff luck, get over it, stop moaning about it and move on!

This sounds like your encouraging a cleak, which is the death of sites like these.

To be honest I read profiles and if someone says what they are looking for and I think I meat their criteria I email them. Thats not unsolicited surely? Its trying to spark up a conversation.

It takes very little to be polite, and it encourages everyone... rather than putting folk off and then for them to bitch on the forums.

I'd much rather be yapping away and making new friends and not getting frustrated at the lack of help and friendliness."

If you are meaning "Clique" then how can what I said ever be construed as encouraging it to happen?

You were the one that said you were "jaded" and didn't think it was "WORTH" sending people a long message because it was "wasting" your time!

It is still an unsolicited mail to them whether or not you read the profile, so it is up to them whether or not they send you a "no ta" or even just delete your mail!

Bitching, as you put it, will also put a lot of folk off meeting you or the other bitchers. Who wants to meet someone who moans that because they sent them a mail and they didn't reply they feel they need to tell everyone how "jaded" they have become!

The "tuff luck, get over it, stop moaning about it and move on" is a good bit of advice and was said in the friendliest way possible for that type of advice!

As always, just my opinion!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeah nips me that I've made the effort to message someone and not so much as a "no ta" in a reply!

Actually today I did get a no ta reply, and I actually felt great! Not because I'd been turned down of course, but just that someone finally replied.

I get scunnered when folk say they won't reply to short messages, I've given up wasting my time on long messages until I strike up a conversation with someone WORTH sending a long message to!

It makes you right jaded! Shame!"

When i first ever clicked onto and signed up to "be a swinger", can safely say it was 6 months before my first meet,theres a lot to learn in terms of message style, approach,attitude etc and kind of a blessing in disguise, there was no forum to go swaggering into to,to share my storys of no replies, nearly meets etc, you just patiently believed you could learn as you went along and in time had fun, worked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's half the problem with all the whinging posts on here Tony, people join and are annoyed when they can't get a meet within hours of joining.

As you say, whether you a single or a couple its all about taking it easy and learning as you go.

If I or we send a mail and its ignored then so be it, obviously not their thing, and hopefully won't bother them again. We only tend to mail people we have either met at socials or spoke to in chat, maybe that's why most of our sent mails are replied too.

Problem with all this type of post is that no one ever seems to take on board what is said and there will be a similar post in a weeks time, lol

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

http://www.fabswingers.com/articles/FAQ

There are too many rude people on here who don't reply to my messages!

It's not rude not to reply.

Some ladies and couples get hundreds of messages a day so it simply isn't possible for them to reply to everyone. If you don't get a response, you can safely assume they aren't interested. If you're getting a lot of "no-replies" then you should consider your profile and the messages you send. Are they giving the right message? Are you standing out from the thousands of other guys on here?

Above is Admins answer to this.Have a read on there.

As this has run it's course then maybe time to shut.

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