FabSwingers.com forum: "ohh thats the one thing you dont say to a woman".

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thats cobblers for a start, theres hundreds of things we dont/should not, indeed would not dare say is'nt there ?

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By *ane DTV/TS
over a year ago

Glasgow ish

Yes your bum does look big in that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"So, is parking still part of the driving test then darling" ?

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By *976scottMan
over a year ago

North Lanarkshire

Is it your crabbit week then darling?

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By *unybunyWoman
over a year ago

Living in a Scottish office somewhere

why do you need so many shoes?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No it's not your trousers that make your arse look big darling, it's your arse that makes your arse look big. ~kiwi~

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you on the blob, love?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Past experiance" your mum is fit as fuck

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By *ane DTV/TS
over a year ago

Glasgow ish

No you can't get the new hand bag

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By *976scottMan
over a year ago

North Lanarkshire

Woman walks out the bathroom after being in for ages getting herself ready!

" darling does my bum look big in this "

Husband replies

" well darling in fairness it is a small bathroom"!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its not "because they look nice" is it, the bigger wine glasses thing, really is it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"When is the baby due?"

When she isn't pregnant.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I made that mistake once...the bruises have gone down though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"No"
lmao best answer yet lol

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By *ussymufferMan
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

no I am not getting you dish washer that's your job cooking and cleaning

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your mother's a bit of an arse isn't she

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Nolmao best answer yet lol

My mum raised me to know better ^_^

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ffs!!!! I told you not to use the pink toothbrush ( mrs answers why? )

I used it to clean my golf shoes!!

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

[Removed by poster at 03/09/14 00:53:12]

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

You went to the beauticians . Which one we'll sue em!

The chocolate bar in the fridge?? Oh I ate that one .Didn't really enjoy it either ...

what you waiting for ..This cock won't suck itself you know ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I binned all the snack food and Ice cream and snack food because you said the diet starts tomorrow.

I cancelled the sky subscription because you said there's fuck all on. Now we havemoe time for sex.

No blowjob, no shoes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I binned all the snack food and Ice cream and snack food because you said the diet starts tomorrow.

I cancelled the sky subscription because you said there's fuck all on. Now we havemoe time for sex.

No blowjob, no shoes!

this really made me chuckle

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Never say 'you've put some weight on!' especially to a pregnant lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe the other curtains would have looked better?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Its a gazeebo darling...you can have a cig any time you want now, even if its raining, good eh !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Calm down!

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

Can you make sure you dont arse my steak to the pan again ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not time for bed, why are you out of the kitchen

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Get a taxi! I'm not picking you up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" i thot you said you were getting ur hair done "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How did i end up with the ugly sister

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By *976scottMan
over a year ago

North Lanarkshire

I think you should start those pelvic floor exercises again darling!

It was like throwing a sausage up a close!

It was like parking my car in the clyde tunnel

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

"Calm down!

Ooh this

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By *lasgowkisserMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I used to know your mum.......

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By *ompip3Couple
over a year ago

Paisley

"I understand!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lately. .....mr....

Sorry hunny I wasn't listening , say that again ?? Xx

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By *ky HookMan
over a year ago

Dundee

""When is the baby due?"

When she isn't pregnant.

I said that once... the baby was 3 months old!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Woman walks out the bathroom after being in for ages getting herself ready!

" darling does my bum look big in this "

Husband replies

" well darling in fairness it is a small bathroom"!!!!

"
pmsl

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its not time for bed, why are you out of the kitchen

"
grrrrrrr lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your sisters looking good these days

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By *irtyRabbitx2Couple (FF)
over a year ago

Glasgow

Is it in yet

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Get your own cake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad your fine now move over so I can watch the footie

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By *lasgowkisserMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I thought u had the condoms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is ur pal single ???

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

It doesn't taste as good as my mum cooks it .

I thought you liked the toilet seat kept up ..

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

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By *976scottMan
over a year ago

North Lanarkshire

I bumped into your mum and dad last night at CJ's!

There both looking fit for their age!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You want to give that comfort eating a break and start comfort exercising, you already look like the back of a bus!

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By *awbagMcBawbagMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

For full on nuclear annihilation...

"Nope you're wrong. Your sister does it much better."

...and run!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know where you G spot is, your sister has it.

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By *976scottMan
over a year ago

North Lanarkshire

Was that Fart from the front or back bottom?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You want to give that comfort eating a break and start comfort exercising, you already look like the back of a bus! "
haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know where you G spot is, your sister has it."
lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's not what your sister said when I did that, she enjoyed it

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By *976scottMan
over a year ago

North Lanarkshire

Your cool with me going out with my mates again tonight arn't you darling?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was a supposed to wear a condom?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it in yet

That's not always the guys fault ye know!! Lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Calm down!

Ooh this

"
..How ???

(big cloud of dust behind me...runnin road runner speed) lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ooh haagen daas.....I can work off the calories in That whole tub in two hours on the bike. How you gonna shift it?

Of course you can't have diamonds, I'm supposed to be your best friend

Yes dear, you look lovely in my shirt. I should buy all your clothes!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I best come with you, its good you know what kind to get but dyou know where it goes? The oil for the car?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex never complained about giving me a bj in the morning

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'll just wait in the car then if its a months food shoppin yer doin, ok luv?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what you waiting for ..This cock won't suck itself you know ..

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By *ikerbob1957Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

When I was last on a plane it had a female pilot. I wasn't worried as I knew she wouldn't have to reverse park it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

.....me......

Oh I'm so sorry when you said that I should take you horse riding !!!!

I thought you were meaningme riding yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This ones true

A friend of mine actually said to his mother in law

Thank god that's over and done with, I can't go through that again - No big deal you say

Thing was they were standing outside the birthing suite in Rutherglen Maternity about 5 minutes after his wife had just given birth !!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Are you on the blob, love?"

That definitely requires a fist to the face if you say that to a girl! Hate it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you ask do I look ok?

And he says " you look fine".....fine!!!!! Fine!!!!!! Wtf is fine!!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But i thought you said.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could have waited until I'd got some sleep before you went into labour!!

Luvs ya xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ha! Or key me finish the show I was on!! B x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No dear the dress doesn't make you look fat, your fat makes you look fat!

Is what I'm thinking but too much of a shite bag to say lol

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By *lenfiddichCouple
over a year ago

inverness

when getting ready for my gym class and only half changed so still had legins on and tshirt, other half says 'have you seen the size of your arse'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember when you use to be thin....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It was just sex, it didn't mean anything. I love you!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ugh, yes, Sarah that feels amazing!!!!"

"Erm...my names Claire"

Just for the record that's never happened to me thank god!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Ugh, yes, Sarah that feels amazing!!!!"

"Erm...my names Claire"

Just for the record that's never happened to me thank god!! "
Aye ok pal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Ugh, yes, Sarah that feels amazing!!!!"

"Erm...my names Claire"

Just for the record that's never happened to me thank god!! Aye ok pal

Well.. Apart from when you called me a different name

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Ugh, yes, Sarah that feels amazing!!!!"

"Erm...my names Claire"

Just for the record that's never happened to me thank god!! Aye ok pal

Well.. Apart from when you called me a different name

"
It was Dave eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Ugh, yes, Sarah that feels amazing!!!!"

"Erm...my names Claire"

Just for the record that's never happened to me thank god!! Aye ok pal

Well.. Apart from when you called me a different name

It was Dave eh?

And creep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Ugh, yes, Sarah that feels amazing!!!!"

"Erm...my names Claire"

Just for the record that's never happened to me thank god!! Aye ok pal

Well.. Apart from when you called me a different name

It was Dave eh?

And creep

"
Can't beat a bit of old fashioned romance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Romance was that not a group in the 80s

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 06/09/14 02:09:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Ugh, yes, Sarah that feels amazing!!!!"

"Erm...my names Claire"

Just for the record that's never happened to me thank god!! Aye ok pal

Well.. Apart from when you called me a different name

It was Dave eh?

And creep

Can't beat a bit of old fashioned romance

Yeah, cause calling me creepy Dave really gets me going

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Ugh, yes, Sarah that feels amazing!!!!"

"Erm...my names Claire"

Just for the record that's never happened to me thank god!! Aye ok pal

Well.. Apart from when you called me a different name

It was Dave eh?

And creep

Can't beat a bit of old fashioned romance

Yeah, cause calling me creepy Dave really gets me going

"
Well something worked haha Was it not a 5-2 victory for the away team?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Ugh, yes, Sarah that feels amazing!!!!"

"Erm...my names Claire"

Just for the record that's never happened to me thank god!! Aye ok pal

Well.. Apart from when you called me a different name

It was Dave eh?

And creep

Can't beat a bit of old fashioned romance

Yeah, cause calling me creepy Dave really gets me going

Well something worked haha Was it not a 5-2 victory for the away team?

I do believe it was old chap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Ugh, yes, Sarah that feels amazing!!!!"

"Erm...my names Claire"

Just for the record that's never happened to me thank god!! Aye ok pal

Well.. Apart from when you called me a different name

It was Dave eh?

And creep

Can't beat a bit of old fashioned romance

Yeah, cause calling me creepy Dave really gets me going

Well something worked haha Was it not a 5-2 victory for the away team?

I do believe it was old chap

"
it was a strange game, 3-1 down and thought I was getting back in the game before you hit me with a quick fire double. I then got a last minute consolation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Ugh, yes, Sarah that feels amazing!!!!"

"Erm...my names Claire"

Just for the record that's never happened to me thank god!! Aye ok pal

Well.. Apart from when you called me a different name

It was Dave eh?

And creep

Can't beat a bit of old fashioned romance

Yeah, cause calling me creepy Dave really gets me going

Well something worked haha Was it not a 5-2 victory for the away team?

I do believe it was old chap

it was a strange game, 3-1 down and thought I was getting back in the game before you hit me with a quick fire double. I then got a last minute consolation.

I'm totally fucking lost

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Ugh, yes, Sarah that feels amazing!!!!"

"Erm...my names Claire"

Just for the record that's never happened to me thank god!! Aye ok pal

Well.. Apart from when you called me a different name

It was Dave eh?

And creep

Can't beat a bit of old fashioned romance

Yeah, cause calling me creepy Dave really gets me going

Well something worked haha Was it not a 5-2 victory for the away team?

I do believe it was old chap

it was a strange game, 3-1 down and thought I was getting back in the game before you hit me with a quick fire double. I then got a last minute consolation.

I'm totally fucking lost

"
Why does that no surprise me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Ugh, yes, Sarah that feels amazing!!!!"

"Erm...my names Claire"

Just for the record that's never happened to me thank god!! Aye ok pal

Well.. Apart from when you called me a different name

It was Dave eh?

And creep

Can't beat a bit of old fashioned romance

Yeah, cause calling me creepy Dave really gets me going

Well something worked haha Was it not a 5-2 victory for the away team?

I do believe it was old chap

it was a strange game, 3-1 down and thought I was getting back in the game before you hit me with a quick fire double. I then got a last minute consolation.

I'm totally fucking lost

Why does that no surprise me

Cause it's happened once or twice before

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once or twice an hour?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is it mine,

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"well what do YOU want to do today", never understood why that gets women reacting in various levels of annoyance, from a simple tut n sigh or can escalate to a mini ww3 in the house, lol,,

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