FabSwingers.com forum: Funny mails

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Had some free time this morning so thought id go threw some of my mail and came accross one that read....

Cant decide from your pictures if your fat or not can you send some clearer ones??

Lol made me chuckle! So whats the most funny or bizarre mail uve recieved

Little beauty

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

Dont get much mail

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We'll are you fat or not haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheeky git. Did you reply? I would have given him a comeback

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cheeky git. Did you reply? I would have given him a comeback

Nah this fat birds got to many mails to get threw to bother lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should have replied "Please hit guide dog a kick and get used to being a wank!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cheeky git. Did you reply? I would have given him a comeback

Nah this fat birds got to many mails to get threw to bother lol xx"

Don't listen to people like that. I get insults all the time x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Cheeky git. Did you reply? I would have given him a comeback

Nah this fat birds got to many mails to get threw to bother lol xx

Don't listen to people like that. I get insults all the time x"

Auk i dnt tbh. If it was someone i gave a shit bout it would b different x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My fav is the old classic ...

So can't your fella get it up ?

Lol lol lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had some pretty bizarre requests that were too extreme for my innocent eyes to read never mind repeat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had some pretty bizarre requests that were too extreme for my innocent eyes to read never mind repeat. "

You said you wouldn't mention those you!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've had some pretty bizarre requests that were too extreme for my innocent eyes to read never mind repeat.

You said you wouldn't mention those you!!"

I kept your name out of it!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yeh ive had some crackers over the years but that ome just made me chuckle x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had all sorts of insults and weird requests wud be here all day if I said them all lol yeah iv had the anyone over a size 12 is obese wtf prob 1 springs to mind of the weird ones was asked while ago if I'd go to a guys house wear his wife's wedding dress so he cud use n abuse me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had some. Bizarre. Requests

Always. From blokes tho!!

Seems there aren't many horny. Women. On this site??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My funniest one recently was being told I must be a man About 2 weeks ago because I didn't want to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had some. Bizarre. Requests

Always. From blokes tho!!

Seems there aren't many horny. Women. On this site??

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My funniest one recently was being told I must be a man About 2 weeks ago because I didn't want to meet. "

Oh yeh thats a common one x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got a mail inviting me to a threesome once.. The slight detail of the guy not.having anywhere to meet or indeed a woman to threesome with....awsome i thought lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The mail that made me laugh recently was a guy wanting to spank me !!!!

I was polite and mailed back telling him I would only be interested in a woman doing that to me,He mailed back saying he would dress as a woman and wear falsies !!!! Just had to block after that !!! The icing on the cake was he lived near London !!!!

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By *ee-YinWoman
over a year ago

nr bathgate

I get "why do you call yourself wee fatty" doh cause I'm wee and fat

Got a random mail me "do you wear stockings" just 5 minutes ago my reply was "do you"

Get abuse all the time but I just don't give a shit now xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Most bizarre one was a guy asking me to sit on a "throne" so he could put his head under and be my human toilet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The mail that made me laugh recently was a guy wanting to spank me !!!!

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By *ee-YinWoman
over a year ago

nr bathgate

Used knickers seem to be a popular request too xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeh ive had some crackers over the years but that ome just made me chuckle x"

Beats the ones that just say hi where you at CJs?

hehe

Geek

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once was offered a £500 to meet n give a guy a blowjob........told him i wouldnt get outta bed for any less than a grand.... Backfired tho..he agreed...!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Used knickers seem to be a popular request too xx "

Yip alot and also recently ive had more men ofdering to pay me for my services lol xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeh ive had some crackers over the years but that ome just made me chuckle x

Beats the ones that just say hi where you at CJs?

hehe

Geek

Yeh i was eyeing u up n smiled lol well y not just say hello!! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Used knickers seem to be a popular request too xx "

Had that one.

I'm running out of knickers now though. Need to stop selling them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think the funny ones are the straight guys who want to suck my cock eehhh how about naw

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Used knickers seem to be a popular request too xx

Yip alot and also recently ive had more men ofdering to pay me for my services lol xx"

What services do you offer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yeh ive had some crackers over the years but that ome just made me chuckle x

Beats the ones that just say hi where you at CJs?

hehe

Geek

Yeh i was eyeing u up n smiled lol well y not just say hello!! X"

That was almost a year ago now

Geek

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think the funny ones are the straight guys who want to suck my cock eehhh how about naw

I hear you boy wonder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Used knickers seem to be a popular request too xx

Yip alot and also recently ive had more men ofdering to pay me for my services lol xx"

I did buy you a pizza yesterday.... Oh wait you paid n I supplied the services... I feel slightly used.... Mmmm

Geek

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeh ive had some crackers over the years but that ome just made me chuckle x

Beats the ones that just say hi where you at CJs?

hehe

Geek

Yeh i was eyeing u up n smiled lol well y not just say hello!! X

That was almost a year ago now

Geek

Hahaha no that ome walked past me remember

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Us women could be making a fortune on here !!

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By *ee-YinWoman
over a year ago

nr bathgate

"Used knickers seem to be a popular request too xx

Yip alot and also recently ive had more men ofdering to pay me for my services lol xx"

Aye, what the hell is that about?? Xx I just block them ........although with Xmas coming lol

Seriously tho I couldnt xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Used knickers seem to be a popular request too xx

Yip alot and also recently ive had more men ofdering to pay me for my services lol xx

What services do you offer

Oh id.need to.show u in person xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/08/14 11:50:32]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Used knickers seem to be a popular request too xx

Yip alot and also recently ive had more men ofdering to pay me for my services lol xx

What services do you offer

Oh id.need to.show u in person xx "

Why is it a laminated list

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By *ee-YinWoman
over a year ago

nr bathgate

"Used knickers seem to be a popular request too xx

Had that one.

I'm running out of knickers now though. Need to stop selling them

Maybe we should charge for that service too xx

My knicker drawer is almost empty lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Used knickers seem to be a popular request too xx

Yip alot and also recently ive had more men ofdering to pay me for my services lol xx

What services do you offer

Oh id.need to.show u in person xx

Why is it a laminated list

Do i need it to be??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got a bizarre mail yesterday asking if I would deliver a take away to him

I replied saying "takeaway? "

"Yes you know when you phone up for food and someone comes to your house with it and you give them the money "

Long story short he APPARENTLY thought he recognised me from his local takeaway . When I said no he asked if I wanted to share a spring roll !!

Told him I prefer meat not veg

but politely refused

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Used knickers seem to be a popular request too xx

Yip alot and also recently ive had more men ofdering to pay me for my services lol xx

I did buy you a pizza yesterday.... Oh wait you paid n I supplied the services... I feel slightly used.... Mmmm

Geek

Lol ur not used u got bbq sauce

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a bizarre mail yesterday asking if I would deliver a take away to him

I replied saying "takeaway? "

"Yes you know when you phone up for food and someone comes to your house with it and you give them the money "

Long story short he APPARENTLY thought he recognised me from his local takeaway . When I said no he asked if I wanted to share a spring roll !!

Told him I prefer meat not veg

but politely refused

Poor guy doesn't know what he's letting himself in for by going with a takeaway with you hehe

Geek

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Used knickers seem to be a popular request too xx

Yip alot and also recently ive had more men ofdering to pay me for my services lol xx

I did buy you a pizza yesterday.... Oh wait you paid n I supplied the services... I feel slightly used.... Mmmm

Geek

Lol ur not used u got bbq sauce

Yeah n some red sauce too

Geek

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Used knickers seem to be a popular request too xx

Had that one.

I'm running out of knickers now though. Need to stop selling them

Maybe we should charge for that service too xx

My knicker drawer is almost empty lol "

Think you better. Nowt for free

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What services do you offer

Oh id.need to.show u in person xx

Why is it a laminated list

Do i need it to be??

Haha you got me there x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a bizarre mail yesterday asking if I would deliver a take away to him

I replied saying "takeaway? "

"Yes you know when you phone up for food and someone comes to your house with it and you give them the money "

Long story short he APPARENTLY thought he recognised me from his local takeaway . When I said no he asked if I wanted to share a spring roll !!

Told him I prefer meat not veg

but politely refused

Poor guy doesn't know what he's letting himself in for by going with a takeaway with you hehe

Geek

"
why because I like things a little spicy

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think the funny ones are the straight guys who want to suck my cock eehhh how about naw

"
that s a daily. That one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had one message telling me I was an even bigger wanker in real life than I was on the forums and to shut the fuck up about nuns. My parish priest is such a dick!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think the funny ones are the straight guys who want to suck my cock eehhh how about naw

I hear you boy wonder

"
well stop messaging me the ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a bizarre mail yesterday asking if I would deliver a take away to him

I replied saying "takeaway? "

"Yes you know when you phone up for food and someone comes to your house with it and you give them the money "

Long story short he APPARENTLY thought he recognised me from his local takeaway . When I said no he asked if I wanted to share a spring roll !!

Told him I prefer meat not veg

but politely refused

Poor guy doesn't know what he's letting himself in for by going with a takeaway with you hehe

Geek

why because I like things a little spicy

lol "

No, cos you are a messy bitch n don't tidy up after yourself

Geek

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got a bizarre mail yesterday asking if I would deliver a take away to him

I replied saying "takeaway? "

"Yes you know when you phone up for food and someone comes to your house with it and you give them the money "

Long story short he APPARENTLY thought he recognised me from his local takeaway . When I said no he asked if I wanted to share a spring roll !!

Told him I prefer meat not veg

but politely refused

Poor guy doesn't know what he's letting himself in for by going with a takeaway with you hehe

Geek

why because I like things a little spicy

lol

No, cos you are a messy bitch n don't tidy up after yourself

Geek

"
that's what you've got a cleaner for !! I'm a guest ffs lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iam half way to a 3some I just need to ladies to join me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, cos you are a messy bitch n don't tidy up after yourself

Geek

that's what you've got a cleaner for !! I'm a guest ffs lol

You always have a dig about my cleaner, you just can't help yourself! Jealousy gets you everywhere lol

Geek

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

No, cos you are a messy bitch n don't tidy up after yourself

Geek

that's what you've got a cleaner for !! I'm a guest ffs lol

You always have a dig about my cleaner, you just can't help yourself! Jealousy gets you everywhere lol

Geek

Your cleaners rubbish i could do better! And would look better in a maids outfit

Beauty x

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By *oversforfun2000Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

We just got the funniest one today, the guy asking me if my legs were made of Nutella cause he wants to spread them!! He then went in to tell me he is no weather man but he predicts me getting a few inches tonight!!

Have to say it did make me giggle!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always think the guys asking to get you pregnant are the funniest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now that is a Bit extreme lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only funny mails I get are all the guys asking if I wanted a blowjob

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, cos you are a messy bitch n don't tidy up after yourself

Geek

that's what you've got a cleaner for !! I'm a guest ffs lol

You always have a dig about my cleaner, you just can't help yourself! Jealousy gets you everywhere lol

Geek

Your cleaners rubbish i could do better! And would look better in a maids outfit

Beauty x"

Oi I pay her extra for that outfit

Ok so you know how hard it was to find a cleaner I wouldn't bang? It didn't leave many of the decent cleaners left lol

Geek

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always think the guys asking to get you pregnant are the funniest. "

Funny thing is they keep falling for it.... I fire blanks too

Geek

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a belter from a guy a few weeks back telling me he was just kidding about wanting to meet me anyway because I was a fat cow with a fake profile... This from a guy who had been online over a year, no verifications & no pictures! Made me giggle

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