FabSwingers.com forum: Newbie socials!!

By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Doing this post after a discusion in chat this morning.

There were a few Newbies in the room who said they would love to come along to one of the socials but felt it would be too much for them to be in amongst the regulars who all knew each other and as a few have said before it can be a bit intimidating when everyone knows each other and they dont .

Just wonder if maybe a newbie social would work ?maybe a few regulars to give some advice to the newbies but the rest would be newbies to socials.

i know ther will be some who will say u cant segregate regulars from newbies but thats not what its all about its about giving them confidance to attend on a much smaller social say maybe just 40/50 ppl?

opinions please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it is a great idea, and would defo be up for going, I think having a few regulars would be good, as it would allow them to pass on their knowledege to us newbies, who if like me don't have a clue sometimes!!!

one ticket for me if it comes off pls!

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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

sounds good jacs but what about a lunch

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

no _eather talking a proper social more organised than a lunch

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we arent newbies to the site but social virgins, if we qualify for two tickets wed be interested lol xxx

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

ok let me clarify this a bit by newbie socials i mean ppl who havent attended a social not newbies to the site xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Count me in for a ticket to a social as well.. never been to 1 and would like to get to 1 and meet all you lovelies on here..lol.

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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

well jacs 2 places for me iknow what its like to be a newbie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my brthday party was full of newbies jacs they all had a ball was very relaxed and eased somes nerves its a brill idea if u need a hand im here xxx

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By *1cebren4uWoman
over a year ago

clydebank

Jacs i think it would work there are lots out there shy like myself pmsl who would like to come along just to ask questions and maybe get used to ppl being about them and bring thier confidence up to scratch. I dont think ppl will feel they are being segregated but there are lots out there with jobs that are frigtened to go along to socials as they dont know what to expect at them and get this image that ppl have sex at these socials and hence why the newbies continue to remain social virgins untill they have this image removed from there heads.

So if you want to go along with this and need anyhelp as they call me swinging super nannie ill help you out.

Basically we all had to start somewhere and if not given the chance to go forward ppl will still remain in limbo.

Just my thoughts im sure others will have theres.

Brennie xxxxxxxxx

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

ty for ur offer of help bren and pleasure xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well jacs 2 places for me iknow what its like to be a newbie "

Heather the point of it .. from what i make out is its n=for social newbies.. your a regular so not a newbie lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would be a newbie social ....

Had hoped to go along to the Dundee Birthday Social last weekend but had daughter committments.

What I find difficult from a newbie point of view is not so much the prospect of going along to a night out per say (it's always daunting having to do any networking with strangers) ... but the fact that it's all so secret.

I understand why ... though so don't need justification for this.

For instance people seem to say give me two tickets without knowing the date, venue and where to stay locally.

It's kind of paramount from my own point of view because I need to consider, if staying in a hotel how I am getting to the venue .... and whether the hotel is appropriate for a tranny.

It's a different culture from what I am used to with Tranny nights ... they get advertised ... time, date, venue, cost and a list of hotels to choose from .... so I can see and plan ahead before having to say I can make it.

Also when a night is advertised .... like the Edinburgh one it is so far in advance I don't know what I am doing so can't commit .... but very soon the tickets seem to be sold out ....

I would suggest a newbie night may be slightly pointless without a fair number of regulars there .... perhaps a bring a newbie to a social night ...

Regulars have to find someone new to invite along .... (not as in a swinging partner .... just a guide so to speak)

Then arranging to meet them before hand somewhere safe/close ....

I am determined I am going to get to a social as soon as possible ....

Kirsty

xxx xxx

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By *ips2lipsCouple
over a year ago

dundee

we were social virgins untill dundees social on fri, for all the newbies all we can say is that we were made very welcome and had a fantastic night so newbies just go for it, nothing ventured nothing gained

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

Sounds like a very good idea but has nobody actually seen a flaw in this?

If newbies are too shy/worried/etc/etc to attend a social where everyone else is at what would make it different being a "newbie" only social?

If they can't mingle at a "normal" social then they would be just as bad, if not worse, at a "newbie" only social. You would have 40/50 people all too shy/worried/etc/etc to speak to each other and all just staying with the people they do know i.e. the same as a lot of socials anyway!

Again not meaning to pour cold water over a good idea but can't see what the difference is between meeting new "newbies" to meeting new "regular social attendees". Meeting new people is meeting new people!

As always, just my tuppence worth!

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By *1cebren4uWoman
over a year ago

clydebank

"Sounds like a very good idea but has nobody actually seen a flaw in this?

If newbies are too shy/worried/etc/etc to attend a social where everyone else is at what would make it different being a "newbie" only social?

As always, just my tuppence worth!

Now BB lol do you think if i was there they wouldnt talk to each other pmsl xxxxxxxxx id get them all talking and exchanging Numbers lol xxxxxxxx

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"Sounds like a very good idea but has nobody actually seen a flaw in this?

If newbies are too shy/worried/etc/etc to attend a social where everyone else is at what would make it different being a "newbie" only social?

As always, just my tuppence worth!

Now BB lol do you think if i was there they wouldnt talk to each other pmsl xxxxxxxxx id get them all talking and exchanging Numbers lol xxxxxxxx

Aye but you talk to anyone bren

Sort of goes back to my point of if you are not "social" enough to mix at a "normal" social then you are gonna be 10 times worse at one where there are only other "shy newbies" at!

Again, just my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

great idea

we like the idea of a social but dont like the idea of standing on our own like two idiots when everyone knows everyone else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like the idea of 'bring a newbie' social.... I always try to accompany a newbie each social I go to now, I remember what it was like to go as a newbie myself.

If we have a bring a newbie social we have the best of both, regular social goers who know everyone and can network but lots of newbies too, best of both worlds and if we take newbies we stick with them and introduce them to other people attending the social.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good idea Jacs but as BB says there is a flaw in it due to peoples shyness.

As Laine added, she and some others encourage newer members to tag along, so they can at least sit with someone.

Also, looking at the number of folk who say they want to go to a social and then back out at last minute as it is... Would that be even worse if 80% were newbies?

I do however think the regulars amongst us could do more to encourage and help the newer members

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we had a bring a newbie, singles take singles, or join up and go with a couple, couples take couples etc. we could have a 50/50 split which may work?

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By *issCognitoWoman
over a year ago

secret location near glasgow

oofftt I remember my 1st social..

I had a pure riddy

Came back for more tho

We could adopt a newbie.. I brought my own newbie to the last one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My first social was a social lunch and as much as it was nice to put names to faces I could only stay for lunch which meant I didnt chat to many.. since then iv been to a cpl more and id like to attand to the newbie social ... i think its a good idea Jacs xxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We could adopt a newbie.. I brought my own newbie to the last one!

we could introduce a 'sponsor a newbie' thing like they do with the tigers and shit.

Here is your new 'newbie', every month your 'Newbie' will pm you with an update on how they are doing and to thank you for your support. Your 'Newbie' will also be on call once a month to give you oral sex, and for only an extra £7 per month, you can shag it

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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

"We could adopt a newbie.. I brought my own newbie to the last one!

we could introduce a 'sponsor a newbie' thing like they do with the tigers and shit.

you sponsor shit???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the bring a newbie idea sounds great.i usually give newbies attending lunch my number so they dont have to come in on there own, they get met at the door and introduced to all so its a bit easier,we also try n mix everyone up so new are sitting with regulars

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By *tudmuffin5640Man
over a year ago

central scotland

jacs so when are u talking about then?xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you sponsor shit???

yeah, i put a fiver on England for the world cup

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"oofftt I remember my 1st social..

I had a pure riddy

Came back for more tho

We could adopt a newbie.. I brought my own newbie to the last one!

So did I, I'm still passing on his profile details to peeps, don't think he'll be a newbie for long at this rate!

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By *issCognitoWoman
over a year ago

secret location near glasgow

"oofftt I remember my 1st social..

I had a pure riddy

Came back for more tho

We could adopt a newbie.. I brought my own newbie to the last one!

So did I, I'm still passing on his profile details to peeps, don't think he'll be a newbie for long at this rate!

The hottie you had at yer birthday!.. Offt x

Gimme the one from last times details.. I missed him! haha x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love Laines idea - bit like bring your kid to work day lol

Adopt a newbie today!

Only flaw I can see with the newbie only night is who decides which regulars get to go?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I love Laines idea - bit like bring your kid to work day lol

Adopt a newbie today!

Only flaw I can see with the newbie only night is who decides which regulars get to go?

If ye bring a newbie yer in, no newbie no ticket lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol I get that bit Laine - its the one with all newbies and a few regulars I meant

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

ok peeps ty for all your comments have taken them all on board and still thinking things through i do think it can work due to the emails i have recieved and thro chatting to ppl in the room... hey we can only try so think this is one im gonna give a go if it fails it fails if its a success then great we wont know till we try xxx

Thanks all

luv jacs

xxxxx

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"I love Laines idea - bit like bring your kid to work day lol

Adopt a newbie today!

Only flaw I can see with the newbie only night is who decides which regulars get to go?

the same rule would apply to who gets to come along by a first come first served basis regulars and newbies hope this clarifies things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this is a great idea if the issues raised by others can be overcome.

Scotsbloke

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By *itsandbobsCouple
over a year ago

lanarkshire

another wee idea as newbies ourselves but got a couple of socials lined up so wont be by the time this comes round. We always found it difficult to get tickets for socials if u are not in forums almost every day as it always seemed the same people that got in early so it gave the impression of being quite clique (rightly or wrongly). Why not open it up to newbies first and only a couple of regulars and see wot the uptake is. Sure the regulars will take up the unwanted and returned tickets that are bound to happen as people pull out. (ooer pardon the pun). But def agree u would need some of the more ahem chatty regulars to put people at ease. Just our wee tuppence worth. Good luck x

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"another wee idea as newbies ourselves but got a couple of socials lined up so wont be by the time this comes round. We always found it difficult to get tickets for socials if u are not in forums almost every day as it always seemed the same people that got in early so it gave the impression of being quite clique (rightly or wrongly). Why not open it up to newbies first and only a couple of regulars and see wot the uptake is. Sure the regulars will take up the unwanted and returned tickets that are bound to happen as people pull out. (ooer pardon the pun). But def agree u would need some of the more ahem chatty regulars to put people at ease. Just our wee tuppence worth. Good luck x

if socials r one of ur intrests then id check the forums on a daily basis for socials defo not a clique regarding soacials as they all work on a first come first served basis .

i already know how im going to run this newbie social but ty for ur input

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry if this sounds harsh but we are speaking about a group of adults who have uncomplicated sex with strangers or relative strangers and they are too shy to attend a social function with similar types. Some may have been to clubs before.

what exactly are they scared of ? that they be recognised by neighbours, cousins or their mum.

they will have their clothes ripped off the second they walk thro the door.

and we are wondering if they are too scared/nervous to walk in, that they would be more relaxed walking in with a different group. They would still be strangers.

apologies if that sounds harsh, not my intention.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe it should be open to the 'newbies' initially to apply for the places then and bring an 'old hand' with them? If they don't take the opportunity and run with it then the places left would be opened up for the regulars to come with a newbie friend/s?

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"sorry if this sounds harsh but we are speaking about a group of adults who have uncomplicated sex with strangers or relative strangers and they are too shy to attend a social function with similar types. Some may have been to clubs before.

what exactly are they scared of ? that they be recognised by neighbours, cousins or their mum.

they will have their clothes ripped off the second they walk thro the door.

and we are wondering if they are too scared/nervous to walk in, that they would be more relaxed walking in with a different group. They would still be strangers.

apologies if that sounds harsh, not my intention.

Think meeting someone for 121 sex it a bit diffrent to meeting 150/200 people who mosty all know each other when u feel like the only one who knows no one

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"They would still be strangers."

That was the point I was making earlier too.

It won't matter if the attendees at a social are regulars or newbies they will still be "new" people to the newbies and if they are worried about meeting new folk then it will be exactly the same.

You will need to have a "meet the newbies lunch" beforehand so the newbies are not worried about meeting the newbies at the social!

Got to say the idea of taking a newbie under your wing, so to speak, at a "normal" social sounds like a more sensible idea!

Again, just my opinion.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" think meeting someone for 121 sex it a bit diffrent to meeting 150/200 people who mosty all know each other when u feel like the only one who knows no one "

totally agree. stripping naked and performing sexual acts on relative strangers is a lot more daunting to many.

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By *itsandbobsCouple
over a year ago

lanarkshire

absolutely know now thanks to some great folk on here that it is not clique. But by the very nature of having to be quick and check forums everyday which some folk connot means its generally the same people who have the opportunity to attend most socials. Not a fault just how some peoples access and time works with the first come first served basis. Dont know of a fairer way tho. Again good luck lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yeah good luck with this one jacs - its a well intentioned and good idea - hope you manage to pull it off (oo er)

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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

jacs iknow am no a newbie but can i still come alongxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

and jacsi i allways try to make newbies welcome mind yer xmas social i had 2 newbies under ma wing

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Heather once we know when n where its gonna be il do another post

but its gonna be a case of first served im afraid to make it fair on everyone know ur in here eveyday so sure ul be first wth ur name down xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just a wee bit about socials i myself have been to a few socials but we are all newbies at one time and you also have folk whos been on the site for over a year without attending socials now to we class them as newbies or not so it aint any diff from someone whos been on the site a week or a year whos not been to a social as i say we all have to start some where

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"just a wee bit about socials i myself have been to a few socials but we are all newbies at one time and you also have folk whos been on the site for over a year without attending socials now to we class them as newbies or not so it aint any diff from someone whos been on the site a week or a year whos not been to a social as i say we all have to start some where

if u read further up i already clarified what this post is about its not about newbies to the site but newbies to socials weather uve been on the site an hour a day a week or a year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes a do understand but everyone has to be a newbie at a social and we all have to start somewhere better to be thrown in at the deep end as my first social was in manchester with about 300 folk and it wasnt to bad

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"yes a do understand but everyone has to be a newbie at a social and we all have to start somewhere better to be thrown in at the deep end as my first social was in manchester with about 300 folk and it wasnt to bad

yes but not everyone are as confidant as you are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yes a do understand what your saying love

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think its better to do something like i do jacs.

Eat & meet's they are not so formal & relaxed and gives new people the chance to talk without having to shout over music !

The one's i have held, have been really good. just chatting over a meal, drink and we all end up in bar area so we can laugh and talk more.

Just thought its a more relaxing way to introduce them to others so they get to see faces they know at a bigger social event !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Adopt a newbie would be a great idea, there is no way I would ever put myself out there so to speak at a social on my own because so many people know each other on here and how can I say it nicely lol have previous meetings/socials etc behind them.

Since Ive joined Ive always wanted to go to a social but most certainly wouldnt go it alone as a single bloke, but a buddy system or adoption scheme for an evening would most certainly help people feel more at ease about it, plus it would maybe introduce some more people into the whole circle of things on here.

Saying that I dunno who would adopt me for an evening

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

try a lunch meet first that helps just watch on forums and put your name down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ok let me clarify this a bit by newbie socials i mean ppl who havent attended a social not newbies to the site xxxx"

Don't think it's a good idea at all.

We're social virgins but there's no way we'd want to go to one only for ppl who were first timers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think a lunch social is better

for newbies..but who am i

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think a lunch social is better

for newbies..but who am i

xx"

Your stunna by name and stunna by nature thats who you are xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ok let me clarify this a bit by newbie socials i mean ppl who havent attended a social not newbies to the site xxxx

Don't think it's a good idea at all.

We're social virgins but there's no way we'd want to go to one only for ppl who were first timers."

awwww i'll hold ur hand if u want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think a lunch social is better

for newbies..but who am i

Your stunna by name and stunna by nature thats who you are xx

aww thanks swing thats a kiss i owe u

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think a lunch social is better

for newbies..but who am i

Your stunna by name and stunna by nature thats who you are xx

aww thanks swing thats a kiss i owe u

xx"

Ill hold ya ta that lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what he will do for a kiss lol, so when u coming to a scottish lunch/social swing???

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

Soapy's too feart, thinks we will eat him alive, and he could be right lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"what he will do for a kiss lol, so when u coming to a scottish lunch/social swing???"

Im not lol but i will be at the Beach party xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Soapy get yer arse up to our socials I promise you will never have laughed as much as we do - it took me a week for me sides to recover from the last social I went to.

And dont worry we will put you in a wee box so we can point and laugh at the funny shortarse

Shona

x x x

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

aye Soapy, plus we have blue body paint, white shorts and a pointy hat just for you. Consider yourself an honorary member of the Smurfle Brigade x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"aye Soapy, plus we have blue body paint, white shorts and a pointy hat just for you. Consider yourself an honorary member of the Smurfle Brigade x"

You cant do that to Soapy cos Fugy wont like having the competition

Shona

x x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Soapy get yer arse up to our socials I promise you will never have laughed as much as we do - it took me a week for me sides to recover from the last social I went to.

And dont worry we will put you in a wee box so we can point and laugh at the funny shortarse

Shona

x x x "

Dya know i might even do that lol

Aint been ta Scotland for years xx

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By *cotsteveMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Can I put myself up for adoption then?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well shortstuff its about time u gave scotland another visitxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

tbh It's probably the main reason I've never made it along to one, I'm really such a shy guy with my clothes on

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By *alakMan
over a year ago

Milan

If I can say my 2p opinion, I don't think a social for newbees only would be a good idea at all, because it would create a sort of "parallel community". Besides, one of the things I loved most at my first social were a couple of nice persons showing me the rules of the games and making me at ease.

Rather, I would be in favour in saving a ticket "quote" at socials for newbees, so that they can be sure there will be other ppl in their situations.

And, most of all, we should encourage the hardened swingers to make new friends (that's the idea of a social, right?) and not stick the whole nights with their old pals!

Again, just my opinion, happy to discuss

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By *l coupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

A newbie social sounds fab!

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"A newbie social sounds fab!"

watch this space details to follow xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

think a newbiee social sounds great - didnt read all the posts but think a normal sized one with regulars would be good cos a lot of newbiees talk to them? Depending on dates think i'd say two tickes our way please x x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/07/10 19:46:18]

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"A newbie social sounds fab!

watch this space details to follow xxxx"

You are determined to take this idea forward so good luck with it.

Still believe a mixed social is a better idea and as someone else has said on here you are starting off what seems like a 2 tier system in swinging. Are we not all meant to be adult enough to be able to be meeting other adults?

It's not as if the "normal" socials are one big gangbang

they are a night out to meet others socially and get to know them!

Again, just my tuppence worth!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

know what you mean - but like im saying newbiees talk to others who might attend socials and might like to meet them to feel more comfortable. But im easy (great choice of sentence i think) when it comes to socialising with others. Here's hoping we get to go meet some nice people.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"But thats the whole point in people saying they dont feel comfortable going to a social with all those that have been to many and are well in the loop on here.

I for one would think it would be quite intimidating going alone to something where there are well established friendships there.

By your own admission in your post you are saying there are 2 communities on Fab those that are socialites and meet people and those that are social virgins. I think I would rather meet other people that are in the same boat as myself that meet people that are there every time."

There r not two communities on fab at all there r some ppl who have mailed me saying they would love to come to one of the social but feel a little intimidated cause it seems most who attend know one and other by arranging a socail for those who have never been before would maybe give them the confidance to brave one of the bigger socials with regular social attenders .

I am listenig to all the comments but at the end of the day there r ppl who have shown a great intrest in a social for social virgins and have given me very valid reasons why they would like one .

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By *l coupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

As a newbie to socials it is a bit daunting to go to a main social where you don't know most folks but they mostly know each other.

A newbie social where no-one knows anyone levels the playing field and then from there those that liked the social could go to a main one with a bit of confidence that they can get on with other folk.

We think its a great idea and depending on where/when will be watching out for tickets.

Well done guys!!! Its not often new folks are thought about or catered for.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

socials are open to everyone tho - newbiees included and the more that go surely the better but i (the mr) went to the pub where a small social was taking place and it was still daunting even tho im on here all time talking to everyone that i met - so still think that feeling will be the same in a room were you dont know anyone, so i think there would be no difference if it was a newbiee one or a mixed. x x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ive thought about this alot the last few days and although i know jacs is going ahead i will forward my opinion anyways....

i think u will go to alot of effort for a not so big reward... by this i mean i dont believe many will turn up..

im sure u will have alot of interest with people claiming they would like to come then on the actual night not so sure they will actually attend.

a night out was planned in inverness a few months ago, many of which were newbees attending .... not many ppl went... the organiser had gone to alot of trouble but when push came to the shove they called off one by one...

perhaps consider a lunch firts off to guage how it is gonna pan out before u put alot of hard work into organising it.

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So if there is a newbie social does that mean that there will be limited spaces for non newbies? i just feel that if people are shy and nervous walking into a venue where they can see people getting on and not everyone knows people there.We have been to many socials and didnt know a lot of people there, would they not feel more nervous going into a venue full of shy nervous people

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"As a newbie to socials it is a bit daunting to go to a main social where you don't know most folks but they mostly know each other.

We think its a great idea and depending on where/when will be watching out for tickets.

Well done guys!!! Its not often new folks are thought about or catered for."

I don't think anyone is actually seeing past the "newbie" tag!

It doesn't matter if the strangers you meet at a social are regular social attendees or if it is their first social they are still strangers to the people they haven't met yet, that's what any social is for surely? A social is a night out in the venue with drinks, music, dancing (if you can count my sober moves last week dancing

) it isn't as scary as some would make it out to be!

Off to find a new brick wall!

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"So if there is a newbie social does that mean that there will be limited spaces for non newbies? i just feel that if people are shy and nervous walking into a venue where they can see people getting on and not everyone knows people there.We have been to many socials and didnt know a lot of people there, would they not feel more nervous going into a venue full of shy nervous people"

You have hit the nail on the head there!

But it does give the regulars who get the limited spaces a chance to get in with all the newbies, not that I believe that is the main reason for this idea being punted!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah I might be interested in this as ive never attended one before and find id probably feel like a duck out of water at ones for regulars.

Great idea!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

suggestion for an icebreaker..

line everyone up and play this song :

Eenie meenie miney mo

Catch a bad chick by her toe

If she holla (if, if, if she holla) let her go

Shes indecisive

She cant decide

She keeps on lookin

From left to right

Girl, cmon get closer

Look in my eyes

Searchin is so wrong

Im Mr. Right

You seem like the type

To love em and leave em

And disappear right after this song.

So give me the night

To show you, hold you

Dont leave me out here dancin alone

You cant make up your mind, mind, mind, mind, mind

Please dont waste my time, time, time, time, time

Im not tryin to rewind, wind, wind, wind, wind

I wish our hearts could come together as one

Cause shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova

Shorty is a eenie meenie miney mo lova

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By *l coupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

bb we know what you're saying and that you are against it but if you don't like the idea of it why don't you just give it a miss and wait for the next regular one?

The idea behind being daunted by a social for regulars is that you'd all be in your own natural groups of people you know. You guys don't get what the fuss is about becuase you've been there, done it and bought the t-shirt. We and others haven't!, but might start after popping our social cherry

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

pmsl@eenie meenie miney mo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

he wouldnt be going anyways cause he is a "regular" as u put it so he has nothing to miss!!!!

everyone on here does not have groups, everyone that go to socials do not know everyone thus being the whole point of a social event to get to know more folk.....

are you honestly saying you will be able to walk into a room full of new people and go introduce yourselves and not be able to do the same at a "normal" social event????

t x

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"bb we know what you're saying and that you are against it but if you don't like the idea of it why don't you just give it a miss and wait for the next regular one?

I doubt very much that I would be attending this one anyway so giving it a miss was never an option!

Not against it as such, just can't see what the difference is between meeting strangers who have been to a social before and those that haven't and like any thread on here we can all put our point of view across if we so wish

Yeah I have been to a few socials now but, not surprisingly, I had to attend my first one too at one point and would have hated the idea of going into a room full of folk who were too shy to chat, dance and get to know others just because the others had been to a social in the past!

You may not like the opinions of others but that's why most threads are started on here i.e. to get other peoples opinions. So I will continue to post when the urge takes me; but thanks for your concern!

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

PLEASE DONT TURN THIS INTO ANOTHER FORUM ARGUMENT

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/07/10 21:21:02]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

guys play nice..cum hun u want

ill bust there baws hun xx

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By *l coupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

If we were to walk into a room where no-one was in pre-set groups we'd be more confident with walking up to people and chatting than we would be if we walked in and people were off in groups of them and folks they know.

We've been told thats the way it is at socials by people that have been to them, so yes we would be more wary at the moment of going to a regular social.

Thats why we're so for this one!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No one turning this into a forum argument but correct me if im wrong YOU did ask for peoples opinion in your first post so i guess thats what you are getting,so far i havent saw anything that would suggest an argument just peoples valid opinions

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

noooooo stunna thats even worse lol

just dont want pll being nasty to other ppls thoughts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

what exactly are they scared of ? that they be recognised by neighbours, cousins or their mum.

they will have their clothes ripped off the second they walk thro the door.

and we are wondering if they are too scared/nervous to walk in, that they would be more relaxed walking in with a different group. They would still be strangers.

apologies if that sounds harsh, not my intention.

woohoo wer do we walk in

clothes off at door he he

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"PLEASE DONT TURN THIS INTO ANOTHER FORUM ARGUMENT

Not arguing and haven't noticed an argument starting!

Just putting my point of view into an open forum and all this hype folk seem to be spreading that "regular" socials are something to fear doesn't help any "newbie" or anyone for that matter.

They are what the name suggest - a Social Evening to get to know people!

Again, just another persons opinion who believes a "bring a newbie social" would be a lot better idea and wouldn't make it a 2 tier system for socials.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"noooooo stunna thats even worse lol

just dont want pll being nasty to other ppls thoughts "

ok cum ill take my boots aff

lol xx

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By *l coupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Let's just agree to disagree on it, some folks have their opinion and others have another opinion.

Nothing anyone has said would swing the other's opinion away from what they were previously thinking.

Think the thread should maybe be kept for those interested in the newbie social, arrangements etc.

Love and hugs to everyone xx

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"Let's just agree to disagree on it, some folks have their opinion and others have another opinion.

Nothing anyone has said would swing the other's opinion away from what they were previously thinking.

Think the thread should maybe be kept for those interested in the newbie social, arrangements etc.

Love and hugs to everyone xx

Sorry, but now you want to restrict the forums and only let folk post who agree with the OP?

Every thread and every social is open to all, that's the beauty of FAB!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

has an actual social been agreed and in organisation?? As said previously this thread is for suggestions... everyone at 1 point on this site was a social newbie!! i would agree more on the bring a newbie suggestion than anything else... too much people on here talk about cliques as it is... what would we be like if we having "regular" and "newbie" socials!! At the end of the day we are all adults... where is the fear in going to a party??

I have held a few socials.. and always encourage "newbies" to go many of whom have turned up and enjoyed themselves.. they just have to realise it is just a big party.. and not a big sex on the dancefloor orgy which i was once asked!! haha

Mrs H xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totaly agree with you on that,thats what the forums are here for, for people to voice their opinion. I for one cant understand why someone would join a site like this, were you met strangers and have sex with them, but your nervous about walking into a pub or hired venue for a SOCIAL nite, which is drinking dancing etc. Are yous nervous about walking into a night club where there are people there that you dont know. My question still wasnt answered who decides how many non newbies can go, if its first come basis, does that mean that if all the newbies get tickets first non newbies cant go and vice versa. Also a point thats been missed why dont the hosts of the socials make a point of intergrating the newbies to the rest of the crowd, Larry and Lil did it at the first social we went to, just a thought

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"Totaly agree with you on that,thats what the forums are here for, for people to voice their opinion. I for one cant understand why someone would join a site like this, were you met strangers and have sex with them, but your nervous about walking into a pub or hired venue for a SOCIAL nite, which is drinking dancing etc. Are yous nervous about walking into a night club where there are people there that you dont know. My question still wasnt answered who decides how many non newbies can go, if its first come basis, does that mean that if all the newbies get tickets first non newbies cant go and vice versa. Also a point thats been missed why dont the hosts of the socials make a point of intergrating the newbies to the rest of the crowd, Larry and Lil did it at the first social we went to, just a thought"

As the orginiser

depending on no's i will decide how many regualrs and how many social virgins will be there But it will be mostly social virgins than regulars .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As the orginiser

depending on no's i will decide how many regualrs and how many social virgins will be there But it will be mostly social virgins than regulars ."

Cant see this being very fair... i would never dream of saying only so and so could come to any of the socials i organise!! And how do u decide what regulars go.. or newbies for that matter?? i understand where your idea came from Jacs.. i was in room at time of discussion... but seregating newbies form regulars is gonna make it worse!!! Were all meant to be as one when in chat rooms... its just the same as in socials is it not??

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Hoops it will be run the same as any social i wont be hand picking who and who cant come there will be so many places for newbies and so many places for regulars once the post is in the forums ppl add their names same was as any other social

as soon as there r enough to fill the social post will be closed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd love to attend if an invite is available!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry Jacs.. but your last post said as you were the organiser you will pick how many regulars and newbies can attend.... maybe my mistake

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

yes hoops hun how many not who

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As the orginiser

depending on no's i will decide how many regualrs and how many social virgins will be there But it will be mostly social virgins than regulars .

yeh thats what i read too Hoops

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry i have to agree with hoops on this one spot on hoops xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

all i can say is roll on next social woohoo !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We gonna have 1 in Fife.... 1 in Glasgow and 1 in Edinburgh.. cause the newbies wont want to travel outwith there area!! Sorry but mind racing ahead to what it would be like lol... all a good idea that might not work.. but ye never know... i hope it does!!! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"all i can say is roll on next social woohoo !!

Im with you there Jo

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"As the orginiser

depending on no's i will decide how many regualrs and how many social virgins will be there But it will be mostly social virgins than regulars .

yeh thats what i read too Hoops"

And I read it as that too

What if a newbie sneaks into a regular social before the "newbie/select regular social"; do they have their ticket withdrawn?

Sorry but this really is getting into the realms of it being a private party for the OP to get to know the newbies! Blunt that may be but the more that is posted on the organisation of it the more that's what it sounds to me anyway!

As always, no offence meant or intended but just my opinion.

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

can i just say something in regards to newbie socials that I don't think has been mentioned but i think is relavant to any conversation...

I think what we are in danger of doing here is creating a two tier system here....

what happen after social number 1... are they allowed to go to another....

what i feel a fear of happening here is that at socials you are just going to create another tier of cliques.....

those who have been on the site for ages.. then not so long... then not so long again... and then newbies.....

of all of the places, then last thing i thought i would hear would be more fragmenting of the site... and the reason why I love coming up to scotland for socials is the all-inclusiveness...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sounds like a very good idea but has nobody actually seen a flaw in this?

If newbies are too shy/worried/etc/etc to attend a social where everyone else is at what would make it different being a "newbie" only social?

As always, just my tuppence worth!

That would be the whole point in getting some established socialites to join in as well to help the newbies thaw out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this is like war n peace ere ffs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well said, there are always going to be new folk, where will it end we are going to end up having socials coming out our socials lol

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"As the orginiser

depending on no's i will decide how many regualrs and how many social virgins will be there But it will be mostly social virgins than regulars .

yeh thats what i read too Hoops

And I read it as that too

What if a newbie sneaks into a regular social before the "newbie/select regular social"; do they have their ticket withdrawn?

As always, no offence meant or intended but just my opinion.

what utter crap if i wanted a private party to meet newbies u think id advertise it in the forums get real

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"can i just say something in regards to newbie socials that I don't think has been mentioned but i think is relavant to any conversation...

I think what we are in danger of doing here is creating a two tier system here....

what happen after social number 1... are they allowed to go to another....

what i feel a fear of happening here is that at socials you are just going to create another tier of cliques.....

those who have been on the site for ages.. then not so long... then not so long again... and then newbies.....

of all of the places, then last thing i thought i would hear would be more fragmenting of the site... and the reason why I love coming up to scotland for socials is the all-inclusiveness..."

Fabio, you haven't read my posts have you mate?

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"As the orginiser

depending on no's i will decide how many regualrs and how many social virgins will be there But it will be mostly social virgins than regulars .

yeh thats what i read too Hoops

And I read it as that too

What if a newbie sneaks into a regular social before the "newbie/select regular social"; do they have their ticket withdrawn?

As always, no offence meant or intended but just my opinion.

what utter crap if i wanted a private party to meet newbies u think id advertise it in the forums get real"

Yup to be honest that is what this is sounding like, sorry Cum but you have taken up this idea, asked for opinions and then just taken on board the ones that you like.

As I said earlier you are gonna do this no matter what anyone else says and I did say good luck with it and every other one that you will need to organise once you do start off the 2 tier system of socials!

Again, just my opinion and not utter crap!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Look at the end of the day the reason why you good people organise socials is so we on fab can meet up have a laff a few drinks a wee dance and meet new people. I think its utter tosh to have a separate one for new people, not to the site but to a social,what if they have been on here for a year and had ten meets under there hat, thats hardly shy and nervous about meeting new people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think i might organise a social for all the new single ladies only lol

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

asked for opinions and then just taken on board the ones that you like.

i have actually took on board all comments bb ty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Think i might organise a social for all the new single ladies only lol "

ohhhhh.....now yer talking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Look at the end of the day the reason why you good people organise socials is so we on fab can meet up have a laff a few drinks a wee dance and meet new people. I think its utter tosh to have a separate one for new people, not to the site but to a social,what if they have been on here for a year and had ten meets under there hat, thats hardly shy and nervous about meeting new people"

Totally agree with this.. like said earlier... if you can walk into a bar/nightclub then surely you can walk into a social... yes its nerve racking but aint that where the buzz comes from?? And as a regular to socials... i still get a tad nervous about entering them!!! Well until my foot enters the door lol

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By *alakMan
over a year ago

Milan

guys... easy.

It's a new idea. Some people like it, some other don't. Let's not get personal but rather express our disagreements with politeness, and without the need of insulting each other.

We are a great community, the worst we can do is slip down the road of animosity

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By *l coupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Guys

Jacs just trying to do something different and help newbies. Instead of villifying her for it why don't you simply wish her luck and leave her to it.

If its not a roaring success then no great loss, if it is a roaring success then great some social virgins have had their cherries popped and will be feeling more confident about going to the main/regular socials.

What's so bad about that? Some people really should chill out before they give themselves a heart attack

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nerves are part of what makes socials exciting........newbies or oldies.......its one community !!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So only the people who agree with it are allowed to put their opinion over?

If this went ahead im sure there would be even more people not agreeing with the who goes and who doesnt go scenario... im only suggesting this needs to be seriously thought over..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It seems that so many people are adverse to having a "newbie" mainly social. I personally think is a half decent idea being that "my husband and i" attended our first social last year and after the first couple of hours i really wanted to go home as felt so out of place with everyone else all hugging n greeting everyone else as old friends. I am by nature a quiet person so to attend this social only knowing some people to talk to on the site I wouldnt go up to them and say hi, which I now know is the kinda normal thing to do.

So Jacs go ahead with ure "newbie socialites" and good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes thats the whole point its gonna become a them and us site then, jezze we are all here for the same reason to meet like minded people

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"Guys

Jacs just trying to do something different and help newbies. Instead of villifying her for it why don't you simply wish her luck and leave her to it.

What's so bad about that? Some people really should chill out before they give themselves a heart attack

I wasn't villifying anyone, I was putting my opinion into an open forum and have wished her luck with it.

If you think a social just happens then yeah your point on "no great loss" would be justified but seeing as it takes a hell of a lot of organising then it would be a great loss.

Will be no heart attack happening here tonight or any night soon am in great health, but thanks again for your concerns, luvs ya for it, I really do

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Look see at the end of the day we r all invividuas some r very socialable some r a little bit more quieter if ppl have requested a newbie social then they must feel the need for it why ppl care so much about a divide i dont know as im sure in ur own little swinging worlds u all have ur own we groups u feel comfortable in and meet either at partys small pub get togethers or for what ever reasons u all meet but u wouldnt all invite everyone from the site to come along its a social for ppl who feel the need for it .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Then why do most newbies come into chat and moan that we all in little cliques.... but they want to make their own clique lol..... no win situation then aint it!! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my 2p worth, the socials on here are organised so far in advance that newbies signing up for 6,8 months time may have attended a social already or have given up !

Would it be possible for a social aimed at attracting new people to be organised with less notice, or alternatively as I have seen in other sites, the date advertised but the post for putting your name down not put up until 1 or 2 months beforehand, that way, more new people will get a chance to attend anyway?

......waits behind sofa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People care because its is creating a divide. you say that you decide how many newbies and regulars go, any other social has been about how many people the venue will hold. So if you decide how many regs and newbies go,then some people will get left who would normally attend. Again if people are so "shy" why are they on a swinging site for god sake get a grip ppl

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"my 2p worth, the socials on here are organised so far in advance that newbies signing up for 6,8 months time may have attended a social already or have given up !

......waits behind sofa

Sounds like fun might be had behind that sofa..... can I join ya?

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By *dinburgh_duoCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

.... is now waiting for the OP to throw yet another flounce and demand this thread is closed on account of everyone and their aunty not falling to worship..... in theory it's a good idea but I don't believe that any one person on here should dictate who should and shouldn't come to an event, it detracts from the values of this lifestyle.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/07/10 22:54:34]

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

".... is now waiting for the OP to throw yet another flounce and demand this thread is closed on account of everyone and their aunty not falling to worship..... in theory it's a good idea but I don't believe that any one person on here should dictate who should and shouldn't come to an event, it detracts from the values of this lifestyle....."

hmmmmmmm why would i want the thread closed ? its very intresting reading

and who am i asking to worship?

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By *dinburgh_duoCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

Yourself it would appear

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

And yet again repeating myself i will not be choosing who gets to come to this social it will be advertised like any other social

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"Yourself it would appear"

HMMMMMMMMMMM

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

excuse me but see unless u know something i dont then please dont tell me i hand pick who comes to any socials i organise ask anyone whos ever been to one and get ur facts right before commenting

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By *dinburgh_duoCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

As the orginiser

depending on no's i will decide how many regualrs and how many social virgins will be there But it will be mostly social virgins than regulars ."

Your memory span seems short, see above!

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

As the orginiser

depending on no's i will decide how many regualrs and how many social virgins will be there But it will be mostly social virgins than regulars .

Your memory span seems short, see above!"

yes i will decide how many will be attending but not whos actually going

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"my 2p worth, the socials on here are organised so far in advance that newbies signing up for 6,8 months time may have attended a social already or have given up !

......waits behind sofa

that is an interesting point and i that I do agree with... that socials list are opened too far in advance....

I would like to see it when for example it was only 10-12 weeks as opposed to 9 months... because it does defeat some of the purpose

what i can see happening is tier upon tier upon tier of social.... and the site becoming more fragmented than becoming all inclusive

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"excuse me but see unless u know something i dont then please dont tell me i hand pick who comes to any socials i organise ask anyone whos ever been to one and get ur facts right before commenting "

sorry it is a forum we all have our own saying we say what we think hun xxxxxxx

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By *dinburgh_duoCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

"my 2p worth, the socials on here are organised so far in advance that newbies signing up for 6,8 months time may have attended a social already or have given up !

......waits behind sofa

that is an interesting point and i that I do agree with... that socials list are opened too far in advance....

I would like to see it when for example it was only 10-12 weeks as opposed to 9 months... because it does defeat some of the purpose

what i can see happening is tier upon tier upon tier of social.... and the site becoming more fragmented than becoming all inclusive"

Yeah, I totally agree Fabio

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

didnt some open a xmas one up on 2009 for xmas 2010 surly that is a bit long

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"excuse me but see unless u know something i dont then please dont tell me i hand pick who comes to any socials i organise ask anyone whos ever been to one and get ur facts right before commenting

sorry it is a forum we all have our own saying we say what we think hun xxxxxxx"

yes i agree but when ur telling me i hand pick who comes to the socials i arrange when thats not true then im gonna say something about it

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"didnt some open a xmas one up on 2009 for xmas 2010 surly that is a bit long

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx"

not as far as i know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ok here goes....

not really wanting involved with this discussion/argument call it what you want BUT...

we think the idea of a newbie social is a bad one, a very bad one, it created divisions, and as swingers we should all be inclusive regardless of what we like, what we dont like, bi, straight, same room, seperate, full swap, soft etc etc

newbies and experienced fab members go to social together all the time, so what really is the difference in this one?

once you have been to your first you realise how good they are, you will make friends very easily and after that first social you never look back, when we wnt to our first we were very nervous, not knowing anyone when we arrived was very ackward, but by the end of the night we had made some very good friends, in fact great friends, so newbies sign up for any of the great socials listed here in the forum, their is a few crackers coming up!

get to know a few other members before you go, even arrange a chat over a coffee before hand then you will know someone at the social already to sit beside

thats it, our thoughts for what they are worth

please guys stop the bickering, we are all open minded swingers, peace and harmony!!!

oh but finally the op does not deserve to be slagged of for the idea, just because you or any of us do not agree with it

....heads for the hills waiting for some flak!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ok can we pls have a social for the following groups....

the blind

the deaf

the disabled

the singles

the couples

the bi's

ppl with big cocks

etc etc

oh and ffs i am joking

wanna be in my gang????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is the problem, some people find it harder than others to meet new people and make friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ok here goes....

not really wanting involved with this discussion/argument call it what you want BUT...

newbies and experienced fab members go to social together all the time, so what really is the difference in this one?

get to know a few other members before you go, even arrange a chat over a coffee before hand then you will know someone at the social already to sit beside

thats it, our thoughts for what they are worth

please guys stop the bickering, we are all open minded swingers, peace and harmony!!!

oh but finally the op does not deserve to be slagged of for the idea, just because you or any of us do not agree with it

....heads for the hills waiting for some flak!!!

"
looking at your profile i see you have been on the site 2/3mths so i take it u may have only been to 1/2 socials yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hi i think this would be a great idea.... me and my partner would love to try going to a social ...but were always quite scared of what to expect...

this sounds just our thing to ease us into it

we would be happy to get details.and a ticket when its arranged.

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By *dinburgh_duoCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

I don't think anyone would object to the idea of a newbie's social but what I think would be objectionable is the OP deciding on how many newbie's would attend and how many regulars would attend. As i've already said, to put too many boundaries on a trivial social derives from the values associated with this lifestyle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ok here goes....

not really wanting involved with this discussion/argument call it what you want BUT...

newbies and experienced fab members go to social together all the time, so what really is the difference in this one?

get to know a few other members before you go, even arrange a chat over a coffee before hand then you will know someone at the social already to sit beside

thats it, our thoughts for what they are worth

please guys stop the bickering, we are all open minded swingers, peace and harmony!!!

oh but finally the op does not deserve to be slagged of for the idea, just because you or any of us do not agree with it

....heads for the hills waiting for some flak!!!

looking at your profile i see you have been on the site 2/3mths so i take it u may have only been to 1/2 socials yourself

ok not wanting sucked in here but what point are you trying to make in asking that question?

we see from your profile you have only just joined. we take it you have never been to a social yourself then

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By *dinburgh_duoCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

"ok here goes....

not really wanting involved with this discussion/argument call it what you want BUT...

newbies and experienced fab members go to social together all the time, so what really is the difference in this one?

get to know a few other members before you go, even arrange a chat over a coffee before hand then you will know someone at the social already to sit beside

thats it, our thoughts for what they are worth

please guys stop the bickering, we are all open minded swingers, peace and harmony!!!

oh but finally the op does not deserve to be slagged of for the idea, just because you or any of us do not agree with it

....heads for the hills waiting for some flak!!!

looking at your profile i see you have been on the site 2/3mths so i take it u may have only been to 1/2 socials yourself

ok not wanting sucked in here but what point are you trying to make in asking that question?

we see from your profile you have only just joined. we take it you have never been to a social yourself then"

On the other hand, we've been on the site since it started and only been to 1 social, are we newbies?! Where does one draw a distinction?! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

good point edinburgh duo, what comparison can be made between how long you have been on the site and how many socials you have been to?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

see - thats my point - its virtually impossible to attend any socials within the first few months of being here as they're all full already

Sheer luck and chance got me to my first social last year within 2 months of joining as original venue was scrapped and hastily put together social was organised otherwise we were told quite bluntly next social with places would have been 6 months away.

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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

I think I prefer the idea of the bring a newbie to a social rather than having a solely newbie social.

As someone (tootz?) pointed out in an earlier post, they attended one of our socials a couple of years back and we make sure at every social we run that we try to get everyone talking to as many people as possible.

At the end of the day, there are going to be people who just won't "do" socials. And that is entirely their decision, making up new socials just for those people is IMO bound to fail.

Before our very successful social in April 2008 we held maybe 5 or 6 for regular members of this site and another and barely got more than 20 ppl at them. Socials just weren't the done thing then.

As an aside, when I joined these sites I was a single fem. My first social was in Nottingham. I travelled alone, flew down to East Mids, was picked up by someone I didn't know, stayed in the organisers house, went to the social with them and I was literally shitting myself. I had never done anything like it before and I doubt I would do it again but you need to work thru your nerves and get to something you enjoy.

Socials are about meeting people with similar interests as you. They aren't about coupling off, shagging in the corner etc. There really is nothing to fear about socials at all and if you just work thru the nerves then you will find lots of very friendly people, have a fantastic night and maybe make some new friends and playmates ... whether they be new to socials or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As members of the site for a couple of years now, Jo and I have been to quite a few of the socials, probably most of them to be honest (except the day time ones).

We have often commented on how many new faces we see at them, so newbies are going to the socials as it is, yes some do just sit in the corner as they are shy....ffs.... I was really shy at our first social, hardly spoke to anyone...and wanted to leave within 30 mins of getting there!

As far as we can see the existing way that socials are organised (by Jacs, Play, DM etc) works well....tickets are allocated on a first come first served basis with regulars and newbies alike having an EQUAL chance of going.

BB does raise good point that if a socil virgin is too shy to go to one of the existing socials then it would be even worse going to one where most are also virgins. Least with how it stands currently, there is always some d*unk nutter that will go and drag the newbies on the dance floor and get them involved!

I also think that some of the socials are planned far to much in advance, or at least the 'put your name down here' thread is posted far to much in advance. This in itself stops newer members going to socials.

The xmas social was probably fully booked a month after it was announced.... how would a newbie to the site now manage to get to that?

Maybe what is needed is socials to be announced in plenty of time but the actual post for who wants to attend be held back to nearer the date and for a certain percentage of spaces held back to a month before the date so newer members have a chance of going.

I believe that Fifelass held back some tickets for newbies at her birthday bash.

When posting social events maybe its a good idea to post what happens at these events...ie, its not a mass orgy and it is just a 'social gathering' of like minded individuals in a normal function room.

Just my thoughts....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well this is a tough one (and I doubt we can solve it, but will add our two cents worth anyway).

We have been on this site a while and have been to two socials now (couldn't make the last due to flight delays). Although we have been on a while, we have (like a lot of ppl) other things going on and fab is not always at the top of our priorities. Having not been on for a few weeks in June, imagine our surprise whe we read in this forum that the Christmas social is already fully booked, in June!!! We both appreciate (*although probably underestimate) the vast amount of work that goes into organising a social. Our congrats to those that do, because as far as I can guess, it takes a huge amount of involvement, dedication and organisation.

On the subject of seperate social depending on level of "experience", we think this is a sticky topic. How do you decide who are newbies? How do you decide the appropriate mix of newbies and regulars? How far in advance do you advertise to ensure that newbies are included? We have been fab members for a while but remember our first social well! Yes we were beyond nervous, did not know what to expect and did stand by the bar for the first half an hour. However, ppl spoke to us, chatted in the ladies while I (L) was fixing my make up and were generally friendly and welcoming. A fact we bore in mind at the next social we attended and tried to pass on.

Despite the fact we have been member for a while, our meets have been few due to various family commitments and we would hardly class ourselves as regulars. So where would we fit in if there were a two tier system in place? We think that obviously it is tough to get to know people but that goes for all walks of life and extracurricular activities. Some ppl are social ppl whereas others obviously prefer the quieter side of individual meets. You can never please everyone, but excluding ppl and having entrance criteria does not seem to be the best solution.

Just an opinion and big up to those that go to the bother to organise these shindigs.

JandL x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this post make me laught lol

the newbie are shy 2 attent a social?

fs lol newbie's meet stranger's 2 shag

them but they 2 shy 2 go to a social

for a drink? pmsl xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 02/07/10 08:52:00]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am amazed by how many people have joined this debate, but I am not sure it is shyness, but rather 2 other reasons that newbies (like me) don't attend socials.

firstly is the worry you'll be standing there alone, and as much as I know that you are all wonderful friendly people here (well most of you), it is still a worry in a social situation, and secondly cos they fill up really quickly.

I realise the worry of who decides which regulars get to join us noobs, as I am sure that everyone feels that they would have something to offer us in advice etc., but I still hope something can be organised.

I think the adopt/bring a newbie is a great idea, and hope that if this one does go ahead, then someone will take pity on me and invite me to join them at a social!

Just my rambling thoughts on this idea

Dave

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

ok peeps as my christmas social has popped up in this thread i feel the need to mention that yes it did fill up pretty quickly and that many feel its not fair on newibies joining the site much later on now i know everyone who has organised socials has there way of how they want to run things in my instance there were so many places advertised and i also have reserve places for cancelations and reserve places for newbies joining later on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its not the shyness of ppl on here that are new its the ignorance of the ppl that arrange them as we found out ourselfs u go to a social to mix with new folks not to get ignored because ur an outsider

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"its not the shyness of ppl on here that are new its the ignorance of the ppl that arrange them as we found out ourselfs u go to a social to mix with new folks not to get ignored because ur an outsider "

im sorry but as an organiser of socials i dont think i have or ever will be ignorant to anyone who attends as a few will tell u im more than happy to take newbies around at spcials and introduce them to ppl as i have done many times in the past

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

thats just our experience it felt like we had just came of the street we tried to mingle with the rest and got ignored thats why we dont go to them anymore

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"thats just our experience it felt like we had just came of the street we tried to mingle with the rest and got ignored thats why we dont go to them anymore "

well thats one of the reasons for trying to arrange this social as so many have told me the same thing doesnt mean the ppl organising them r ignorant caues others wont chat to u

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ok peeps as my christmas social has popped up in this thread i feel the need to mention that yes it did fill up pretty quickly and that many feel its not fair on newibies joining the site much later on now i know everyone who has organised socials has there way of how they want to run things in my instance there were so many places advertised and i also have reserve places for cancelations and reserve places for newbies joining later on "

I think a lot can be learnt from comments on this thread and applied to any socials organised in the future.

Its hard to pass comment or an opinion on this without sounding that were been ungratefull to those that do organise socials.

Having helped GandL organise that one last year, I can see how much work and hassle it can be. Therefore, I am, as well as the rest of us im sure appreciative of people like Jacs, Play, DM, Atomic, Fifelass, Laine etc that take time to organise these events for the general fabs community.

No organisation of any social will be perfect. Yes, comments were made about the Xmas one been posted too early and that will have a negative effect of excluding many newbies but it has its positive points too... plenty of time for planning etc.

Taking BB's point about newbies been too shy to attend any social, whether it be a newbie social or regular one.... As these members are new, I would see there is more chance of them backing out at last minute and so causing a major headache for 'reserve lists' etc. Also, for the security of the event, this may sound harsh but there is less 'trust' in those newer members. Look at the hassle that Sioux had on her social venue been rumbled and a more recent social had threats made against it too (although they werent advertised so much).

Anyhoo, if this does go ahead, then best of luck with it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See thats a double edged sword also.

Id like to attend a social but have no desire to come along on my own and sit like a spare part not knowing anyone there. Id like to attend a social to meet some new people as there do seem some good people on here as well as the loopy ones as well.

However you mention newbies that they are happy to meet people for a shag lol, well it all depends if firstly you are lucky enough to get a meet in the first place, but its also in my opinion much easier to meet someone one on one that going to a place full of total strangers with the majority of people already knowing each other?

I am curious though as to the newbie's that do attend socials for the first time, whether they feel comfortable approaching social veterans or do they feel that its better to let the others come chat first?

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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

i hope jacs social goes ahead. can i make a few suggestions .if a newbie puts theyre name down for a social when they arrive would it be a good idea for the organiser to introduce them to some ,regulars this would break the ice.Now before you all jump on ma head i know jacs and a few others do this so why not make it a general thing and yes i know im a social regular but varosi and i went through the newbie thing and it was hellish to pur it mildly so im allways ready to welcome newbies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

in response to hornyedinburgh question about noobs approaching regulars, as a social virgin, I think if i recognised someone at a social, and had spoken to them in the chatroom i'd prob feel ok approaching them. However, if I arrived at a social and didn't recognise anyone, I probably would feel a little more conscious about approaching people that I might otherwise in a different social setting because of the nature of things here, and the worry that I may begin to drool!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"in response to hornyedinburgh question about noobs approaching regulars, as a social virgin, I think if i recognised someone at a social, and had spoken to them in the chatroom i'd prob feel ok approaching them. However, if I arrived at a social and didn't recognise anyone, I probably would feel a little more conscious about approaching people that I might otherwise in a different social setting because of the nature of things here, and the worry that I may begin to drool!!!"

I feel exactly the same and have been to several socials only tend to speak to the people I recognise or already know. Bad of me I know but I'm quite shy, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

adopt a newbie...good idea in principle

1 or 2 small potential problems- where do the many regular single guys find a newbie female or cpl to help them attend- are they excluded if nor accompanied by a newbie?

if a newbie pulls out at the last minute for whatever reason are the adoptees still allowed to attend

and finally who decides which regulars are allowed to attend and which arent?

would be nice if it all worked out but in my most humble opinion i think eat and meets are a better way of getting involved

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im up for newbie adoption!! laine or _abio?? highest bidder wins!!

times people forget they were once new to the scene and sometimes that wee helpin hand makes things less scary for people! im down for the christmas social and i will be paraniod for the first wee while as i probably wont know anyone but once i find someone to yap with i will be fine!

as for the arguements if you dont like whats being planned for somethin you dont need to go you can just sit at home with your pals and bitch about it or wait and hear how horrendous it was so that you can be happy!

you really cant please everyone and your damned if you do, damned if you dont!! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"adopt a newbie...good idea in principle

1 or 2 small potential problems- where do the many regular single guys find a newbie female or cpl to help them attend- are they excluded if nor accompanied by a newbie?

if a newbie pulls out at the last minute for whatever reason are the adoptees still allowed to attend

and finally who decides which regulars are allowed to attend and which arent?

would be nice if it all worked out but in my most humble opinion i think eat and meets are a better way of getting involved

xx"

I think cumplay said in an earlier post that it would still work on a first come first served basis for people attending the social, as per usual

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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

you really cant please everyone and your damned if you do, damned if you dont!! x

No one is arguing or bitching about it. The OP asked for opinions and has been given them, very varied. There is no right or wrong in this situation. No one is going to be happy if it fails miserably. After all, those arranging socials sometimes fork out a lot of money in advance so really, it's in no ones best interest for anything to fail.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i admire anyone who tries to organise one it must be a nitemare!! im lookin forward to the christmas one first one ever! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i admire anyone who tries to organise one it must be a nitemare!! im lookin forward to the christmas one first one ever! x"

gd luck relax n enjoy be ur first of many to follow im sure xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i admire anyone who tries to organise one it must be a nitemare!! im lookin forward to the christmas one first one ever! x

gd luck relax n enjoy be ur first of many to follow im sure xxx"

oh i hope so!! its just like every other social occassion when you dont really know anyone it makes you a bit nervous but a wee vodka or 3 n il be fine im sure there be other people iv spoke to either on here or met that i can chat with! xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

always someone happy to meet up before hand to ease yer nerves there a gd bunch on here they do try to make everyone feel welcome ive always had a ball at the socials first one was last years xmas social and after 10 min of entering venue my nerves were gone now i love going to as many as i can xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

TBH, the adopt a newbie thing already happens at socials, its just not something thats typed down.

Our first social we were, well OK, I was nervous as feck and we had an offer from a couple to meet up with them in a bar before hand and walk in with them.

Still to this day see people doing that, offers of pairing up (singles or couples) within chat flying about so that people dont have to walk in alone.

New members come into chat, get told to go to forums to read about the socials..... they do this.... oh, all the socials for next 3 to 6 months are booked up.

So my opinion on the solution as I said on an earlier post is to hold back a percentage of tickets for newer members and do a second post about a month away from the date inviting those that are new to the site to attend.

If these tickets dont get taken up then they go to those on the reserve list from the original post.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Like Steve we also paired up with another regular couple to attend our first social... another reason why you have the pre social drinks... peeps can meet then and arrange to go to venue together.. as an organiser i also reserve tickets for newbies to come along... and the reason they posted so early (halloween 1 was 4 months in advance) is so people can sort sitters/ work and hotels.. i know myself its not easy when you have kids!!

Like Maf says i agree the eat and meets are the best way... 1st 1 i held 18 people turned up and i only know about 3 or 4 of them!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone else has said it all.....

The socials are not a swingers club where everyone just strips off and gets to it.

For the newbies.... the scoials are just that, a vanilla setting where u can meet people and see them face to face with no pressure to perform.

There are a lot more folks there that dont know each other than there are that do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would love to come to a social x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would love to come to a social x"

Then why dont ye stick yer name down for 1 then

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

did you try introducing yourself to people? most would be happy to chat with you ...our table often has newbies at it and we often bring others as our partners for the night too

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

I think the one thing that I think we should seperate in this conversation is the "newbie socials idea" from the "opening of lists" as they are completly seperate issues...

me personally.... i would like to see them only open up lets say 3 months ahead... that way it still gives people notice to come along and bargins on hotels... and gives newer people a chance to attend... so maybe thats the best of both worlds......

p.s.... i bid for mznawty a packet of cheese and onion crisps.. and an gobstopper!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put another 199 comments in on this,, i still wont get wat its about, lol, sorry.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put another 199 comments in on this,, i still wont get wat its about, lol, sorry.

Dont you ever keep up ?? lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Put another 199 comments in on this,, i still wont get wat its about, lol, sorry.

Dont you ever keep up ?? lol

Ehh, is it socials fur new folk that had nae intention o going to one but now "ITS THE LAW",lol?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i can understand why people wonder about why socials are booked so far in advance, personally, where i'm organising the socials etc in Edinburgh, the venues only has set dates available, the one we got is now fully booked til after february 2011!

plus you have to pay in advance for the venue, in this case thats been over £500 of my own money that you have to pay up front to secure it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

okies, heres an idea on this one

instead of a typical 'social' why dont we have an activity day / night, bring a newbie with you event

such as bowling, go karting, or paintball etc

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By *alakMan
over a year ago

Milan

that could be a good idea in fact... but we need to find an activity for 100 ppl

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By *lightly temptedMan
over a year ago

coupar angus

100!

Be a bit intimidating for most folk that many strangers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yeah i wasnt thinking as many people as 100, smaller groups, so that people wouldnt be so scared of going

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By *lightly temptedMan
over a year ago

coupar angus

20 or 30ish (including the experienced 'chaperones') seems a better number. Still a bit scary but not tooo scary.

And that way the more experienced people can spend some time chatting and putting the more nervous at ease.

Nothing worse than being a wallflower cos your scared to speak in case you offend. (Been there done that

Lot braver now tho

)

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By *lightly temptedMan
over a year ago

coupar angus

"Now BB lol do you think if i was there they wouldnt talk to each other pmsl xxxxxxxxx id get them all talking and exchanging Numbers lol xxxxxxxx

Or mostly naked (in my case anyway)eh Bren

My first social was Katy's birthday bash, and you were gonna have me in a maids outfit.

(Which didn't fit

so I wound up in my boxers with a pretty pink bow on

) It broke down my nervousness pretty damn quick though

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By *alakMan
over a year ago

Milan

That's good - I volunteer to chaperone an attractive hot gal!

"20 or 30ish (including the experienced 'chaperones') seems a better number. Still a bit scary but not tooo scary.

And that way the more experienced people can spend some time chatting and putting the more nervous at ease.

Nothing worse than being a wallflower cos your scared to speak in case you offend. (Been there done that

Lot braver now tho

)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ah ure such a benevolent soul _alak

applauds loudly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now BB lol do you think if i was there they wouldnt talk to each other pmsl xxxxxxxxx id get them all talking and exchanging Numbers lol xxxxxxxx

Or mostly naked (in my case anyway)eh Bren

My first social was Katy's birthday bash, and you were gonna have me in a maids outfit.

(Which didn't fit

so I wound up in my boxers with a pretty pink bow on

) It broke down my nervousness pretty damn quick though

pic available on request hahahaha

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By *lightly temptedMan
over a year ago

coupar angus

still waiting for you to FIND IT BTW Katy x :P

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We think this is a very good idea ....so good we where even willing to come out of the social wilderness to help out ......

just a pitty we will be in Gran Canaria on the proposed date .....

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By *l coupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"We think this is a very good idea ....so good we where even willing to come out of the social wilderness to help out ......

just a pitty we will be in Gran Canaria on the proposed date .....

Has a date been announced? Are tix available??

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By *tudmuffin5640Man
over a year ago

central scotland

so when is the date then? xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so when is the date then? xxxx"

date has not been announced, but we asked for possible date because of holliday plans.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hoping date will be announced soon so i can get my name down for the social!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you can go to every social organised, but actually u only speak to one or two people at a time.. not the whole room.... so don't be scared.. we have been to lots and are still meeting new people.. both regular chatters and newbies. i think a newbies only is not a good idea

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By *1cebren4uWoman
over a year ago

clydebank

"Now BB lol do you think if i was there they wouldnt talk to each other pmsl xxxxxxxxx id get them all talking and exchanging Numbers lol xxxxxxxx

Or mostly naked (in my case anyway)eh Bren

My first social was Katy's birthday bash, and you were gonna have me in a maids outfit.

(Which didn't fit

so I wound up in my boxers with a pretty pink bow on

) It broke down my nervousness pretty damn quick though

OH MY GOD didnt put two and two the gether pmsl here was that really u lol but you were a good sport lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so when is the date then? xxxx

date has not been announced, but we asked for possible date because of holliday plans.

But for you to say you will be away to gran canaria... means there is a proposed date??

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

i do have a date if this social goes ahead so will let u know for sure once ive looked into things xxx

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By *cotguy39Man
over a year ago

perth

like ur idea pls add me 2 ur list thx

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