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Fab joke of the day!

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By *976scott OP   Man
over a year ago

North Lanarkshire

My neighbour said to me today:

"Dave, how come you have so many cars?"

"Well," I said "The wife and I have been doing a bit of swinging recently"

"Oh right" he said sheepishly "Do a lot of them stay over then?"

"No" I said "It's just that every time she pulls a set of keys out the hat, the owner fucks off!!!!!

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By *lasgowkisserMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Ally mc Coist. Boom boom!

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By *976scott OP   Man
over a year ago

North Lanarkshire

The Legia Warsaw substitute is the most popular substitute in the east end since methadone

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By *lasgowkisserMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Brave talk fae a guy fae airdrie

One of Scotland's beauty quiet spots

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By *976scott OP   Man
over a year ago

North Lanarkshire

Good one!

What's eight miles long and has an IQ less than 40?

The post office queue on giro day in the East End!

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By *lasgowkisserMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I feel safer in the Gaza Strip wi a Israeli

Flag than I would in airdrie main st

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By *976scott OP   Man
over a year ago

North Lanarkshire

Come on own up! Someone got Tam Cowans Joke book for Christmas!!!

Man from East end goes to the Doctor

"My heroin habit is ruining my life," I said to my drugs counsellor. "I started off burgling houses to get the money, then I had to pimp out my wife and daughters, and now I'm sucking guys off in the park for a fiver."

"Let me make a call," he said, "and see if I can get you on a programme."

"methadone?" I asked.

"No, Jeremy Kyle."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did the leper say to the prostitute?

keep the tip

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why dont you ever hear jokes about airdrie?

'Cause the punchlines are too long

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ally mc Coist. Boom boom!"

You'll find that was basil brushes line ps im a celtic supporter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you see a celtic fan on a bike why should you never swerve to avoid him?

it could be your bike

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you see a celtic fan on a bike why should you never swerve to avoid him?

it could be your bike "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And i cant be called biased as i put a joke up about airdrie as well

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By *lasgowkisserMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Airdrie tourist guide

Hahahahahahaha

Had to Laff at that one myself!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glasgow rangers have reformed as a new company.

also kind of ironic that they have been fucked by greene and whyte

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By *lasgowkisserMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I've just walked by ibrox where someone has nailed their season ticket to the front door. I said I'm fuckin having that! , nails could come in handy....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Glasgow rangers have reformed as a new company.

also kind of ironic that they have been fucked by greene and whyte "

Brilliant

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By *anarkshirelassCouple
over a year ago

lanarkshire

I walked past Celtic park with my son and said...you wont ever play in there son...He said why not dad...?

I said because I want you to be able to go to the toilet without your bum hurting..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hear about the bedridden compulsive wanker

Fell out a bed and broke his pyjamas

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was on an aeroplane recently and the captain came on giving his speech "we're currently flying at an altitude of 35000 ft and a speed of 500 mph, we will be landing in approximately 2 hours" however he forgot to turn the microphone off and he said to his Co pilot "I could use a blowjob and a coffee right now " at that moment an air hostess goes running down the aisle towards the cockpit so I shouted to her "don't forget the coffee! "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wee boy arrives 10 minutes late for class teachers says young man were you been her replays up maryhill teach says ok going sit down 5 minutes later a second las appears teacher ask's again were have you been young lad replays up maryhill teacher says ok sit down a few minutes later a young lass walk in and the teacher says let me guess you have been up maryhill to the young lass response no miss i am mary hill

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By *976scott OP   Man
over a year ago

North Lanarkshire


"Ally mc Coist. Boom boom!"

Ronnie who?

Hope you had a good night mate! Love the banter!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

3 mates sit down with a pint and 3 flies indavidualy land in each one of there pints..

Englishman ! Arghh new Pinot here barchap there's a fly in it

Irishman ! Same prob with a fly but he gets a napkin and carefully picks it out and drops out of the window

Scotsman ! And again prob with fly, he carefully lifts out the fly by its wings holds it over his pint a says "

Spit it ooooot ya we bastard!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"3 mates sit down with a pint and 3 flies indavidualy land in each one of there pints..

Englishman ! Arghh new Pinot here barchap there's a fly in it

Irishman ! Same prob with a fly but he gets a napkin and carefully picks it out and drops out of the window

Scotsman ! And again prob with fly, he carefully lifts out the fly by its wings holds it over his pint a says "

Spit it ooooot ya we bastard!!!! "
winner then x

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By *ogue78Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Jeez celtic have been put out more times than my bins this last couple weeks!!

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By *lligator3Man
over a year ago

Dundee

I hope that isn't a euphemism!

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