FabSwingers.com forum: Agony Aunt/Uncle

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ask any question and the next person can give you advice on your problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I like this guy but I got jealous,(to much booze) and now he is keeping his distance, how do I sort it,

I would even buy an out fit for him,to defroke me,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have an unnatural religious related sexual fixation, a hunchback, cross eyed, cheese dick and halitosis. I'm fucked aren't I??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have an unnatural religious related sexual fixation, a hunchback, cross eyed, cheese dick and halitosis. I'm fucked aren't I??

yep and its all to do with your cheesy dick

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I like this guy but I got jealous,(to much booze) and now he is keeping his distance, how do I sort it,

I would even buy an out fit for him,to defroke me,

Instead of drinking yourself ply him with the booze and he will be up for anything

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I can't stop crying because this guy I have feelings for told me he loves my sister more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't stop crying because this guy I have feelings for told me he loves my sister more.

"
if she is your twin hide her under the stairs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't stop crying because this guy I have feelings for told me he loves my sister more.

That's easy. Give your sister my number and she'll never look twice at him lol x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can't stop crying because this guy I have feelings for told me he loves my sister more.

if she is your twin hide her under the stairs

Like Harry potter?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't stop crying because this guy I have feelings for told me he loves my sister more.

Your sister didn't trample my heart into the ground with her shameless flirtation with Boywonder and DLT. I'm the real victim here!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I can't stop crying because this guy I have feelings for told me he loves my sister more.

Your sister didn't trample my heart into the ground with her shameless flirtation with Boywonder and DLT. I'm the real victim here!!

That's not advice

get off the problem page cheese dick

well unless you find another problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't stop crying because this guy I have feelings for told me he loves my sister more.

Your sister didn't trample my heart into the ground with her shameless flirtation with Boywonder and DLT. I'm the real victim here!!

That's not advice

get off the problem page cheese dick

well unless you find another problem "

I'm sensing a lot of deep seated anger. Anger management and sedatives could alleviate that problem....tic tac nipples!! (You started it calling me cheese dick!)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"tic tac nipples!! (You started it calling me cheese dick!)

Tic tac nipples

I was only mentioning one of the problems you said you had

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sense you always have to have the last word. Try being more submissive.

________________________

Dear Aunty

Im addicted to M&Ms plus I have an oral fixation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"tic tac nipples!! (You started it calling me cheese dick!)

Tic tac nipples

I was only mentioning one of the problems you said you had

Going back to your problem, these comments suggest you're being overly picky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get uncontrollably angry when I open a packet of cereal and it tears down the side, like really fucking pissed off!.

Why must this happen, I'm so laid back I'd make a great sun lounger!

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"I get uncontrollably angry when I open a packet of cereal and it tears down the side, like really fucking pissed off!.

Why must this happen, I'm so laid back I'd make a great sun lounger!

Don't let the ripped packet annoy you - it's not a metaphor for your life, merely a demonstration of your super strength. Next time, ask a lady or small child to open it for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But I eat soooo much cereal in a week I need to open at least 2 boxes and my flatmate or my wee boy arent always here.

Does this mean I should be scouring the meets each time I get to my last half dozen weetabix?

Im no quiteas popular as you Andy...I might starve!

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By *r and Mrs SnogalotCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I sense you always have to have the last word. Try being more submissive.

________________________

Dear Aunty

Im addicted to M&Ms plus I have an oral fixation.

An oral fixation is never a problem!

Shy x

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"But I eat soooo much cereal in a week I need to open at least 2 boxes and my flatmate or my wee boy arent always here.

Does this mean I should be scouring the meets each time I get to my last half dozen weetabix?

Im no quiteas popular as you Andy...I might starve!

Plan ahead Jim!

Get 10 boxes open at a time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"But I eat soooo much cereal in a week I need to open at least 2 boxes and my flatmate or my wee boy arent always here.

Does this mean I should be scouring the meets each time I get to my last half dozen weetabix?

Im no quiteas popular as you Andy...I might starve!

Plan ahead Jim!

Get 10 boxes open at a time

Someone give this man a cake !

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By *rs Robinson no 1Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Dear Agony Uncle..

now that I have booked a bed in the Lightburn Geriatric Unit

do you think it's time for me to reire and hang up my heels.....and take up tea dancing in the afternoons?

hoping to hear from you at your convenience

a quickly aging Rx

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Dear Agony Uncle..

now that I have booked a bed in the Lightburn Geriatric Unit

do you think it's time for me to reire and hang up my heels.....and take up tea dancing in the afternoons?

hoping to hear from you at your convenience

a quickly aging Rx"

Whilst it's true you've booked your room, it won't be ready for at least another 20 years so I'm afraid you will need to strap those heels back on and stride with pride

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can someone. Supply the number. For

Instashag!!

Yours. Hopefully. Desperate paisley

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Can someone. Supply the number. For

Instashag!!

Yours. Hopefully. Desperate paisley

070000996675448256282543

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Can someone. Supply the number. For

Instashag!!

Yours. Hopefully. Desperate paisley

070000996675448256282543

For more local to paisley it's

467827424

You're welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can someone. Supply the number. For

Instashag!!

Yours. Hopefully. Desperate paisley

070000996675448256282543

For more local to paisley it's

467827424

You're welcome

"
Thanx mate

Mucho. Grazi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got very d*unk last night and started something between 3 women that got way outta control and has left my credibility and confidence shattered. What am I to do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got very d*unk last night and started something between 3 women that got way outta control and has left my credibility and confidence shattered. What am I to do?"
phone. Instashag. My freind. They will. Sort that out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I got very d*unk last night and started something between 3 women that got way outta control and has left my credibility and confidence shattered. What am I to do?phone. Instashag. My freind. They will. Sort that out

Thanks Captain, 1st I'm away for a long shower as last night has left me feeling sullied!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Thanks Captain, 1st I'm away for a long shower as last night has left me feeling sullied!

The only reason your feeling sullied is because you had a wet dream about us three

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only reason your feeling sullied is because you had a wet dream about us three

Did not.....I woke up before the vinegar stroke!

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By *aintmikeMan
over a year ago

glasgow

"Dear Agony Uncle..

now that I have booked a bed in the Lightburn Geriatric Unit

do you think it's time for me to reire and hang up my heels.....and take up tea dancing in the afternoons?

hoping to hear from you at your convenience

a quickly aging Rx"

Remember age is just a number , Its not how you feel Its more Who you feel

SO HEREs to you Mrs Robinson,,,Jesus loves you more than you will know,,da dee da dee,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,hoho,,,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dear Agony Uncle..

now that I have booked a bed in the Lightburn Geriatric Unit

do you think it's time for me to reire and hang up my heels.....and take up tea dancing in the afternoons?

hoping to hear from you at your convenience

a quickly aging Rx"

Dear R,

The day you hang up your heels, hell will have frozen over and every male in Christendom will have been neutered.

You know you've I'll grow old disgracefully and there is too much to disgrace left in you for your retirement to be considered

Go ravish a toyboy and you'll feel better in the morning

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By *rs Robinson no 1Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Dear Agony Uncle..

now that I have booked a bed in the Lightburn Geriatric Unit

do you think it's time for me to reire and hang up my heels.....and take up tea dancing in the afternoons?

hoping to hear from you at your convenience

a quickly aging Rx

Remember age is just a number , Its not how you feel Its more Who you feel

SO HEREs to you Mrs Robinson,,,Jesus loves you more than you will know,,da dee da dee,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,hoho,,,

yes Mike and I feel like a 36yr old...but he's no longer interested !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That wasn't me before anyone starts

I should be so lucky lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Agony Aunt

I'm bored with food but what can I munch on that would interest my appetite. Please no more thistles.

Goat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dear Agony Aunt

I'm bored with food but what can I munch on that would interest my appetite. Please no more thistles.

Goat

Dear Goat

My brother Paddy had one of your colleagues as a pet at one time and he was most partial to a chomp on ladies bloomers. I believe he munched on a five pound note also....this made him poorly however. The vet instructed my brother to take him back the following week if there was no change. I would stick to the thistles if I were you.

Miss McGinty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear agony Aunt

I have a really bad case of foot in mouth how do i over come this

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dear agony Aunt

I have a really bad case of foot in mouth how do i over come this

You sure do. There's no hope for you duffus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dear agony Aunt

I have a really bad case of foot in mouth how do i over come this

Experience on here tells me it very much depends on who

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dear agony Aunt

I have a really bad case of foot in mouth how do i over come this

You sure do. There's no hope for you duffus

sorry

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dear agony Aunt

I have a really bad case of foot in mouth how do i over come this

You sure do. There's no hope for you duffus

sorry

Don't worry about it, I'm not. It's all sorted now anyway x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dear agony Aunt

I have a really bad case of foot in mouth how do i over come this

You sure do. There's no hope for you duffus

sorry

Don't worry about it, I'm not. It's all sorted now anyway x"
Just as well you all know how special i am xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just as well you all know how special i am xx

Batman special or Forest Gump "special"?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dear agony Aunt

I have a really bad case of foot in mouth how do i over come this

You sure do. There's no hope for you duffus

sorry

Don't worry about it, I'm not. It's all sorted now anyway xJust as well you all know how special i am xx

You are special and that's why I forgive you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just as well you all know how special i am xx

Batman special or Forest Gump "special"?

"
Really Special

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Really Special"

Unique is a better description chief, special can have negative connotations. Your a howl, some of your posts have me doubled up with laughter! Keep up the good work Dark Knight!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had someone say they thought i made them up till they met me then quickly realized that 98% of them were probably true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dear Agony Aunt the woman I love is normally such a sweetheart until she gets a drink. Then, she becomes an evil, foul mouthed trollop, hits on every woman in the site, blocks me and has major sister issues. Please help I'm getting desperate!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have an addiction to a site were i spend a lot of time chatting on the forums ting is i start uni in a month do i keep it going or do i delete it help. ps if answer is delete can someone come and do it for me don't think i can

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dear Agony Aunt the woman I love is normally such a sweetheart until she gets a drink. Then, she becomes an evil, foul mouthed trollop, hits on every woman in the site, blocks me and has major sister issues. Please help I'm getting desperate! "

Can't believe your saying that about cutie. She hides the drinking well

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Planning on making a romantic dinner for mr geting home tonight, severe hangover head and cant think straight ....help!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't believe your saying that about cutie. She hides the drinking well

Deflection of the highest order.

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

"Can't believe your saying that about cutie. She hides the drinking well

Deflection of the highest order.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't believe your saying that about cutie. She hides the drinking well

Deflection of the highest order.

It's cool JC....I defended your honour.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Can't believe your saying that about cutie. She hides the drinking well

Deflection of the highest order.

sorry cutie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry cutie "

You're sacked as the resident Agony Aunt....hang your head in shame!

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

"Can't believe your saying that about cutie. She hides the drinking well

Deflection of the highest order.

sorry cutie "

That's ok

I enjoy a few glasses of vino at the weekend and everyone thinks I'm a raving alkie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That's ok

I enjoy a few glasses of vino at the weekend and everyone thinks I'm a raving alkie

I know more than a few raging alkies....you're not one of them!

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