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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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A welsh farmer was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture of North Wales.
Suddenly a brand-new little yellow and red convertible advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.
The driver, a very short fella in red velvet pantaloons, yellow gingham shirt, green waistcoat and pointy red hat, leans over and asks the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
The farmer looks at the man, obviously a tw*t, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, Why not?"
Fugy parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo. He then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany.
Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has
been processed and the data stored.
He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel
Spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
Miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the farmer and Says,
"You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says the farmer.
He watches Fugy select one of the animals and looks on amused as he stuffs it into the boot of his little yellow and red car.
Then the farmer says to Fugy, "Hey boyo, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
Fugy thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a member of parliament and work for the UK government", says the farmer.
"Wow! That's correct," says the flabbergasted gnome, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required." answered the farmer, "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about
cows...this is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog you sailor shagging fopp"
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