FabSwingers.com forum: Jokes

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

How to stop Church gossip:

Margaret, the church gossip, and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business.

Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.

She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing!

Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away.

He didn't explain, defend, or deny.

He said nothing..

Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Margaret's house, walked home .... And left it there all night.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The New Doctor:

A young doctor had moved out to a small community to replace a doctor who was retiring.

The older doctor suggested that the young one accompany him on his rounds, so the community could become used to a new doctor.

At the first house a woman complains, "I've been a little sick in my stomach."

The older doctor says, "Well, you've probably been overdoing the fresh fruit. Why not cut back on the amount you've been eating and see if that does the trick?"

As they left, the younger man said, "You didn't even examine that woman? How'd you come to the diagnosis so quickly?"

"I didn't have to. You noticed I dropped my stethoscope on the floor in there? When I bent over to pick it up, I noticed a half dozen banana peels in the waste bin. That was what probably was making her sick."

The younger doctor said "Pretty clever. If you don't mind, I think I'll try that at the next house."

Arriving at the next house, they spent several minutes talking with a younger woman. She said that she just didn't have the energy she once did and said, "I'm feeling terribly run down lately."

"You've probably been doing too much for the Church," the younger doctor told her. "Perhaps you should cut back a bit and see if that helps."

As they left, the elder doctor said, "I know that woman well. Your diagnosis is almost certainly correct, she's very active in the church, but how did you arrive at it?"

"I did what you did at the last house. I dropped my stethoscope and when I bent down to retrieve it, I noticed the vicar under the bed."

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Fifty Shades?

He was in ecstasy, with a huge smile on his face, as his wife

moved forwards, then backwards, forward, then backwards again ........

back and forth .... back and forth ..... in and out ..... in and

out.

She could feel the sweat on her forehead and between her breasts,

and trickling down the small of her back, she was getting near to the

end.

Her heart was pounding ... her face was flushed .... then she

moaned, softly at first, then began to groan louder.

Finally, totally exhausted, she let out an almighty scream and

shouted,

"OK, OK! I can't park the bloody car!

You do it, you smug ba@**%d!"

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