FabSwingers.com forum: The BITCH is back...

By *urse Ratshit OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Can the following idjits please report to reception NOW!!

ANDYKAY - You have been promoted to gardener, and you need to cut all grass and lady gardens by noon!

CHARLIE - you are on maternity leave

JINTY - Go back to your cell and stay there till further notice

SKYHOOK - Go to bed before midnight ffs!!

DITA - You are in solitary until further notice

ROXY - Still thinking about you!!!! And not in a good way

Rest of the idjits, line up for morning pills before breakfast. We are on purple and yellow today. And stop drawing on the walls!!

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Yes _urse ratshit.

Can I have the keys to the ride on mower please?

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By *evilishCouple69Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow

But how can we make doors to Glasgow Under without drawing on walls?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Phewwww...looks like I've got off with it today

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By *urse Ratshit OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Andy, keys and razors are in the usual place

Kuntlykinkles, you are on shift in exactly 13 minutes... pills are locked away and you do not have keys.

Where's the newbies~?? I have jackets going free xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Andy, keys and razors are in the usual place

Kuntlykinkles, you are on shift in exactly 13 minutes... pills are locked away and you do not have keys.

Where's the newbies~?? I have jackets going free xx"

Bugger... no meds

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

allegedly some new ones...

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Right ladies, form an orderly queue while I fire up the mower

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Andy, keys and razors are in the usual place

Kuntlykinkles, you are on shift in exactly 13 minutes... pills are locked away and you do not have keys.

Where's the newbies~?? I have jackets going free xx"

new jacket !! I could use one

do they have nice shiny buckles

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Andy, keys and razors are in the usual place

Kuntlykinkles, you are on shift in exactly 13 minutes... pills are locked away and you do not have keys.

Where's the newbies~?? I have jackets going free xx

new jacket !! I could use one

do they have nice shiny buckles

Have you lost yours already bino?? We bedazzled it especially for you! Ratshit will be pissed when she finds out

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By *urse Ratshit OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

ALL jackets have shiny buckles and it is each patient/victim/twonk to ensure that you keep them shiney!

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By *urse Ratshit OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Andy, keys and razors are in the usual place

Kuntlykinkles, you are on shift in exactly 13 minutes... pills are locked away and you do not have keys.

Where's the newbies~?? I have jackets going free xx

new jacket !! I could use one

do they have nice shiny buckles

Have you lost yours already bino?? We bedazzled it especially for you! Ratshit will be pissed when she finds out

SHUTTIT Gardener... you are responsible for bushes till noon!. You have no business discussing buckles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"ALL jackets have shiny buckles and it is each patient/victim/twonk to ensure that you keep them shiney!"

good job i keep a giant sized tin of brasso in my sport billy bag just in case i have any polishing emergencies

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By *ky HookMan
over a year ago

Dundee

Bloody hell bed before midnight. I wasnt even home before midnight last night...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bloody hell bed before midnight. I wasnt even home before midnight last night..."

Thats's cos you were a daftie and missed yer bus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Andy, keys and razors are in the usual place

Kuntlykinkles, you are on shift in exactly 13 minutes... pills are locked away and you do not have keys.

Where's the newbies~?? I have jackets going free xx

new jacket !! I could use one

do they have nice shiny buckles

Have you lost yours already bino?? We bedazzled it especially for you! Ratshit will be pissed when she finds out

sssssshhhhhh !!!

Dont tell anyone but im selling them back to the nhs, got a contact at carstairs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Andy, keys and razors are in the usual place

Kuntlykinkles, you are on shift in exactly 13 minutes... pills are locked away and you do not have keys.

Where's the newbies~?? I have jackets going free xx

new jacket !! I could use one

do they have nice shiny buckles

Have you lost yours already bino?? We bedazzled it especially for you! Ratshit will be pissed when she finds out

sssssshhhhhh !!!

Dont tell anyone but im selling them back to the nhs, got a contact at carstairs

Pffftt....just the one? Loads of my friends live there!

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By *urse Ratshit OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Enough of the lafty hoo ha!! This is not Butlins!!

Kukukuntls - my office!!! NOW!!

Bino - you are on 5 day med missout

Nurse R - You are still the best

FMUMA - you're a fuckin wank

PP - PFFT, What to say??

Other idjits and inmates - limited meds and punishment to follow

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Lady gardens all done _urse ratshit

Now just the lawns to do.............where did I put that razor...........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Erm..... Will I be allowed out soon????

I've been quiet all morning.....but I'm lonely now......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can we get a jacket and a rubber room so we can bounce of the walls ? Lol

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By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

I've been stuck for a week, can't get the buckles out

Oh and I'm in need of pills today please nurse R

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I get my buckles swapped for Velcro.....Roll on 2pm meds!!!!!!!!

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

What time is visiting hours ...i got a spare cpl minutes

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"What time is visiting hours ...i got a spare cpl minutes

You might have spare time but temp said she's leaving you in the pink jacket on your own today as penance for saying the 'G' word to her at the weekend!

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

I said alot of words.....lol but G word ??? Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Enough of the lafty hoo ha!! This is not Butlins!!

Kukukuntls - my office!!! NOW!!

Bino - you are on 5 day med missout

Nurse R - You are still the best

FMUMA - you're a fuckin wank

PP - PFFT, What to say??

Other idjits and inmates - limited meds and punishment to follow"

I'm ALWAYS in trouble

......and it's always that Jinty's fault

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Enough of the lafty hoo ha!! This is not Butlins!!

Kukukuntls - my office!!! NOW!!

Bino - you are on 5 day med missout

Nurse R - You are still the best

FMUMA - you're a fuckin wank

PP - PFFT, What to say??

Other idjits and inmates - limited meds and punishment to follow

I'm ALWAYS in trouble

......and it's always that Jinty's fault

Oi!!!!!?????!!!!!! *head swivels right round*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Enough of the lafty hoo ha!! This is not Butlins!!

Kukukuntls - my office!!! NOW!!

Bino - you are on 5 day med missout

Nurse R - You are still the best

FMUMA - you're a fuckin wank

PP - PFFT, What to say??

Other idjits and inmates - limited meds and punishment to follow

I'm ALWAYS in trouble

......and it's always that Jinty's fault

Oi!!!!!?????!!!!!! *head swivels right round*

Jesus!! Ratshit needs to change your meds!!

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"I said alot of words.....lol but G word ??? Lol"

I can't say it - she will punish me too

Its the 'G' word that you use those daft looking sticks to hit your balls around.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Defo need to be on some kind of meds to keep up with the random conversations in this forum at times lol

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Defo need to be on some kind of meds to keep up with the random conversations in this forum at times lol

Random? How can it be random when we all like cake and jammy dodgers?

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By *ky HookMan
over a year ago

Dundee

"Bloody hell bed before midnight. I wasnt even home before midnight last night...

Thats's cos you were a daftie and missed yer bus

Ach the walk was good exercise

Not as fun as the exercise I wanted

but it was good for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Defo need to be on some kind of meds to keep up with the random conversations in this forum at times lol

"Infantile" was the word I'd have used.

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Defo need to be on some kind of meds to keep up with the random conversations in this forum at times lol

"Infantile" was the word I'd have used."

Awww shucks - didn't think you'd noticed - Thankyou

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oooh think I'm a wee bit late. Heads pop's in the room phew no-ones here.

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By *urse Ratshit OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Oooh think I'm a wee bit late. Heads pop's in the room phew no-ones here.

OH REALLY!!!!

BINO - all brasso and other types of polish are not allowed. You will now spend the next 3 days in solitary.

CHARLIE - You have been reassigned to kitchen duties as you are now eating for two. Please note that cakes/pastries/chocolate has been confiscated.

FUZZBALL - You have been fired!!

JINTLE - Not a feckin chance you are moving from where you are!!!

ALL NEWBIES - Good luck, you will need it.

DITA - Do not question who I am, I have eyes and ears everywhere. My true identity is an amalgamation of many.

Meds dispensed at 7pm tonight, unless I start watching Emmerdale.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If ahm not allowed out who's getting the tea??? There's a man here looking fir pork and cauliflower cheese....with a Banoffi pie chaser! Can you open ma cell please!!!!!

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

I did my best

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nurse ratshit, old brass

oops that should read dont take my old brasso

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Forgot emmerdale was on. Ta

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By *urse Ratshit OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

You have 3 mins to line up and open your gobs for meds.

Jinty - pink

Andy - yellow

Roxy - wee white

Fmuma - the whole fuckin lot!!

Charlie - cake

Bino - fairy liquid

Newbies - you have to work for yours and try and get the off the oldies!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You have 3 mins to line up and open your gobs for meds.

Jinty - pink

Andy - yellow

Roxy - wee white

Fmuma - the whole fuckin lot!!

Charlie - cake

Bino - fairy liquid

Newbies - you have to work for yours and try and get the off the oldies!!"

Well I'm here and my mouths open wide

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Still here a d mouths dryer than a nuns fanny! Hurry up nurse!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You think your mouths dry? Im chewin' through the straps here! Somebody let me oot!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You two can think yersels lucky

fairy liquid !!!

Im forever blowing bubbles......

nae pun intended

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any chance some bugger can loosen my restraints. I cant feellany blood getting to my brazils!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glad to see ive got away with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Glad to see ive got away with it

Aye...for today

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Glad to see ive got away with it

Oh dear, I dread to think what she's got planned for you!

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By *urse Ratshit OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Well, it seems that one person (JINTY) has ruined it for you all.

On no account will smuggling and harbouring a member of the opposit sex into your cell, erm room, overnight be tolerated.

Therefore, I am invoking section 97.4, subsection 261.1 of your room agreements, and NO meds will be issued until Friday.

Now shut the fuck up and leave me in peace to swally the meds that Jinty has forced you all to mis..

Ratshit's gonna get off her face!!

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

See jinty, I told you that you'd never get away with that many guys in your room!!! And I did say it was pointless telling them to hide behind the curtains when they don't even come down to waist height!!

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By *urse Ratshit OP Woman
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Glad to see ive got away with it

Oh you have NOT been forgotten about, just biding my time with your punishment!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Awe ffs!!!!!!! Why do I always get the blame! Right....I'm having the two wee pink pills I squirrelled away from the last med round ......see you next Tuesday!!!

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By *ky HookMan
over a year ago

Dundee

Ok so locked in my room till friday... suits me fine im off to sleep night night all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jesus

From a former inmate/employee of a lunatic asylum this sounds like home to me.

Ho I've got Prozac, Mirtazipine and some other yellow jelly thing for sale in my cell.

Guys they are a tenner a time, ladies can have 2 pills for a blow job 3 for a shag and I'll let you lose a weekend in medicinal heaven if you spend the night.

Now let's hide this stash from Ratshit, as she will need to search me again and I enjoyed that last anal probe a but too much

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Jesus

From a former inmate/employee of a lunatic asylum this sounds like home to me.

Ho I've got Prozac, Mirtazipine and some other yellow jelly thing for sale in my cell.

Guys they are a tenner a time, ladies can have 2 pills for a blow job 3 for a shag and I'll let you lose a weekend in medicinal heaven if you spend the night.

Now let's hide this stash from Ratshit, as she will need to search me again and I enjoyed that last anal probe a but too much "

I've heard she's ordered her own big Bertha!!

Wendy wouldn't give it up lmao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bertha uh oh don't like the sound of that.

Unless it's electrical and sends shock waves through the baw bags. Oh the orgasms are heavenly.

Need tae swally mair jellies

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By *ky HookMan
over a year ago

Dundee

Dont care if I get let out or not Im dying, has man flu hope it only lasts 24hrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ehhhhhhhhh?

How very fecking bizarre.....

Why am I not surprised Rosy is involved?

And why do I think that fugy should be on the nurses list?

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