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Crime Fighting Fugy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Local Arbroath woman Gloria Bumsrush, 48, has become something of a local celebrity after racing to the top of the book charts with her novel 'Gnome Offender'.

Not surprisingly, the inspiration for the book came from looking out her window at the little fella by her garden pond.

"I was having problems with my septic tank - shite leaking out all over the place. So I called the local council and they sent around a little chap in red velvet pantaloons, yellow gingham shirt, green waistcoat and red pointy hat. He happened to be on an offenders rehabilitation scheme", she said.

"I invited him in for a cup of tea and he told me lots of tales from his very recent past experiences that I then formed into an erotic-crime novel I was writing".

'Gnome Offender' follows the adventures of amateur crime-fighting gnome, Fugy, Son of Fugy - a short, scrawny figure with a dark and shady past involving dogs, Chinese Triads, motorcycle gangs, oriental fisherman and an international flower importing crime syndicate.

One night while on a major stakeout in a garden, Fugy is a witness to crime most foul - the murder of the plastic heron by the pond by an armless, plaster of Paris Venus DeMilo garden statuette.

Fugy falls in love with the statuette but is torn between his love for her and his duty to protect the citizens of Arbraoth's garden ponds.

"It's 90% based on truth", adds Gloria.

The book has been snapped up by the same lot that bought The DaVinci Code and other meandering shite.

Gloria has even started work on her follow up:

"I've had another septic tank leak and the same council lad is back around again. I'll pick what brains he has and maybe get some idea's for further Fugy, Son of Fugy tales", she says.

In all crap bookstores now......woof....Get down Fugy....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol brilliant stu!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pmsl... Mr Grizzly, you have the mind and imagination of a best selling author, and once again you put a wee grin on this truckers face!!! The ponds in Arbroath are safe with fugy on the case, lol

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

and you're still no breaking yer promise to view - yer no picking on him . instead you're turning the fugster into a hero - --- shame on you !!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"and you're still no breaking yer promise to view - yer no picking on him . instead you're turning the fugster into a hero - --- shame on you !!!! "

....... Am an Angel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

LOL Stu he'll be wearing his bobbly off white y-fronts on top of the pantaloons at this rate !!!

Is it a man, is it a dog shagger nooo its super fugy (son of fugy)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"LOL Stu he'll be wearing his bobbly off white y-fronts on top of the pantaloons at this rate !!!

Is it a man, is it a dog shagger nooo its super fugy (son of fugy) "

I think you took that too far!!!, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

stu , u need to get these in print

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy


"and you're still no breaking yer promise to view - yer no picking on him . instead you're turning the fugster into a hero - --- shame on you !!!!

....... Am an Angel"

yeh right and i'm a virgin !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lmfao , pure quality xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Virgin on what Mad ????

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Virgin on what Mad ???? "

yup....ya got that right Kay.....virgin on mad

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i still think you should get out more stu and keep taking your pills lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i still think you should get out more stu and keep taking your pills lol"

I'd up the dosage

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By *aucy3Couple
over a year ago

glasgow

i cant wait for the books and films.theyll make harry potter, look like a party political broadcast.love it.

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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

thanks for cheerin me upxx

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