FabSwingers.com forum: Regrets.....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Big subject for a Saturday night.

But I (Dexter) had a real heart to heart with my two daughters earlier today.

Their mother and I are no longer together.

They are both happily married with kids.

And we talked about things we'd do different given the gift of hindsight.

For me right here...right now.

I wish I'd spent more time with them when we were all younger. And taken more pictures.

So for any of you out there with young kids.......do whatever you have to...but just spend more time with them.....talk to them. Involve them in your life.

And also give more time to your own parents......

We are all here for so short a time....

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"Big subject for a Saturday night.

But I (Dexter) had a real heart to heart with my two daughters earlier today.

Their mother and I are no longer together.

They are both happily married with kids.

And we talked about things we'd do different given the gift of hindsight.

For me right here...right now.

I wish I'd spent more time with them when we were all younger. And taken more pictures.

So for any of you out there with young kids.......do whatever you have to...but just spend more time with them.....talk to them. Involve them in your life.

And also give more time to your own parents......

We are all here for so short a time....

"
Awwwww this is a lovely post and comes across as very heart felt .

Try not to dwell too much on the past and consentrate on the here and now you still have them in your life so build on making new memories rather on dwelling on ones you could have had .

Im very close to my own kids and just spent a wonderful five days in New York with my daughter will have lovely memories from that to look back on just mum n daughter time .

Good luck and keep building memores xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lovely post

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

spoken like a true gent, lifes about living and being there for ones that are close to u when it counts, and also when it doesnt count but just be there my kids are still young we have a friend relationship as well as a mother son relationship which i hope makes a differnece when there older fingers crossed xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"spoken like a true gent, lifes about living and being there for ones that are close to u when it counts, and also when it doesnt count but just be there my kids are still young we have a friend relationship as well as a mother son relationship which i hope makes a differnece when there older fingers crossed xx"

If you put the work and effort in when they are young......it will pay dividends when they are older.

When all is said and done......the only thing that matters is family.

And remember its not only your kids.....its also your parents.

I'm lucky. I'm 56. And both my parents are still alive. One day they won't be.

And that scares me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Lovely post "

Thanks Flexy.

If it just makes one person think about their children and parents more then its worth it.

I'm in a real reflective melancholy mood tonight.

Every now and then if we just take some time out to think about those close to us.....it will make us better people.

Its like my older daughter said to me today......"Dad. You don't need to be the one that sorts everything out all then time. If once in a while you asked us for help when we know you are struggling it would bring us closer"

I completely welled up at that point.

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Dexter - you are a VERY wise man.

I try I give my kids as much time as I can - I know they won't need me as much as they get older but whilst they are still quite young, they do.

I speak to my mum regularly but don't see her very often as she lives at the other end of the country.

As for my dad - he chose a long time ago to cut all three of his kids out of his life. His choice. Not ours.

So it makes me want to be better for my kids.

I hope they appreciate it once they're older

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Dexter - you are a VERY wise man.

I try I give my kids as much time as I can - I know they won't need me as much as they get older but whilst they are still quite young, they do.

I speak to my mum regularly but don't see her very often as she lives at the other end of the country.

As for my dad - he chose a long time ago to cut all three of his kids out of his life. His choice. Not ours.

So it makes me want to be better for my kids.

I hope they appreciate it once they're older

Evening Andy....

Believe me. I'm 57 and my girls are in their 30's. They need me and I need them as much now as I ever did.

You never stop being a parent....or a child.

Sorry to hear about your dad. But like you say its his choice.

Life is about the choices you make. If you make more right ones than wrong ones.....then you will end up with a good life..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a cracking post fir a change.your kids as we all know are the most precious thing we are gifted with I am lucky to be blessed with four amazing children and scully has one.......I treasure every single minute I have with them and will do anything to protect them and kp them safe in this warped world of hours.........

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think Dexter you have hit the nail on the head there.

I think we both try and spend as much time as we physically can with our son but with Ian's job sometimes that just not possible. But then I become both parents. I (Charlie) never knew my biological father he left not long after I was born.my mum re married and I grew up with a fantastic step dad and to me he was my dad. But when I was 17 he unfortunately passed away very suddenly after an accident.

So I think that my one regret was not having my dad walk me down the aisle and see me marry and see his grandson. What I wouldn't give to see him again evan if it was for a second. I miss him terribly.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Big subject for a Saturday night.

But I (Dexter) had a real heart to heart with my two daughters earlier today.

Their mother and I are no longer together.

They are both happily married with kids.

And we talked about things we'd do different given the gift of hindsight.

For me right here...right now.

I wish I'd spent more time with them when we were all younger. And taken more pictures.

So for any of you out there with young kids.......do whatever you have to...but just spend more time with them.....talk to them. Involve them in your life.

And also give more time to your own parents......

We are all here for so short a time....

Awwwww this is a lovely post and comes across as very heart felt .

Try not to dwell too much on the past and consentrate on the here and now you still have them in your life so build on making new memories rather on dwelling on ones you could have had .

Im very close to my own kids and just spent a wonderful five days in New York with my daughter will have lovely memories from that to look back on just mum n daughter time .

Good luck and keep building memores xx

Thank you so much for this reply.

I remember taking my girls to New York back in the early 90's. I had pulled together enough money for the flights and a budget hotel called the Walcott just off Times Square.

But it left me with very little spending cash.

So it was Subway and Maccy D's. And service buses and Shanks pony.

But on the last day I had enough travellers cheques left for a taxi to JFK and a present each from Macys.

They each got a Get Along Gang doll which they both still have 20 year later...

I bet you and your daughter will remember that trip for the rest of your lives....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think Dexter you have hit the nail on the head there.

I think everyone reading and posting on this thread will have memories that are stiring teary eyes.

I know I am.

I know from your post specs that you and Ian will have very demanding jobs.

I did too. I traveled throughout Europe auditing Casinos and Leisure Clubs while at the same time trying to work my way up the corporate ladder.

Meant I missed a lot of time while my kids were growing up and my parent were growing older.

And I always justified it by the monthly salary.....

At the same time my brother stayed at home, served his time as a joiner and was there not only for his kids but also our parents. He was there to pop in every day. See how there were.

Looking back they were probably more proud of my success.....but more grateful for my brothers daily support...

Bloody hell.....this is an emotive thread...

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"I think Dexter you have hit the nail on the head there.

I think everyone reading and posting on this thread will have memories that are stiring teary eyes.

I know I am.

I know from your post specs that you and Ian will have very demanding jobs.

I did too. I traveled throughout Europe auditing Casinos and Leisure Clubs while at the same time trying to work my way up the corporate ladder.

Meant I missed a lot of time while my kids were growing up and my parent were growing older.

And I always justified it by the monthly salary.....

At the same time my brother stayed at home, served his time as a joiner and was there not only for his kids but also our parents. He was there to pop in every day. See how there were.

Looking back they were probably more proud of my success.....but more grateful for my brothers daily support...

Bloody hell.....this is an emotive thread..."
Im sure your parents know you had to do to follow the career path you chose to go down .

I have one son whos done extremely well in his career and will more than likely have to leave this country to follow his dream... would I stop him? would I hell as like hes worked too damn hard at uni for five years to miss out on his dreams .

Of course il miss him but its his life and hes got to live it, I for one would not see him any less of a son for not being here for me in my old age as loyalties lie deeper than that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think Dexter you have hit the nail on the head there.

I think everyone reading and posting on this thread will have memories that are stiring teary eyes.

I know I am.

I know from your post specs that you and Ian will have very demanding jobs.

I did too. I traveled throughout Europe auditing Casinos and Leisure Clubs while at the same time trying to work my way up the corporate ladder.

Meant I missed a lot of time while my kids were growing up and my parent were growing older.

And I always justified it by the monthly salary.....

At the same time my brother stayed at home, served his time as a joiner and was there not only for his kids but also our parents. He was there to pop in every day. See how there were.

Looking back they were probably more proud of my success.....but more grateful for my brothers daily support...

Bloody hell.....this is an emotive thread...Im sure your parents know you had to do to follow the career path you chose to go down .

Of course il miss him but its his life and hes got to live it, I for one would not see him any less of a son for not being here for me in my old age as loyalties lie deeper than that. "

I know what you mean. I'm originally from a small island. My brothers son has made a great life for himself in New Zealand. My sisters daughter and son are in Africa and Canada.

They keep in touch via skype and email.

You will feel proud of the life your son has made for himself and feel grateful for the part you played in that.

And like my sister and brother treasure every moment you manage to meet up. Whether its you traveling to visit them....or them coming back home....

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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

my biggest regret in life was at 18 due to social and personal reasons i had to give some one away..It had to be done i met him later on in life and he had 2 fantastic parents so u could say i did the right thing Not making enough time to talk to people and now they aint here to talk to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ive thought long and hard about this thread..and for that i thank you. Sometimes we all take the people closest to us for granted. In my case, two of the most precious people in my life were taken away from me far too soon. What i learned from it all is....no matter what the circumstances are it is never too late to put things right while we are on this earth. Finding the courage to do it can be hard...we are all fallible and make mistakes in life and the best we can often be is only good enough. So i wholeheartedly agree...hold those dear to you even closer....for to be without them is an endless pain .....but without trying to sound like an old hippie (even though i am one) the greatest gift is ....LOVE

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