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THE ULTIMATE BLOWJOB JOKE POST ;) X

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By *akedninja OP   Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

Q: What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?

A: Your wife will always blow your bonus!

Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree?

A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blowjob!

Q: Why did God give men penises?

A: So they'd have at least one way to shut a woman up.

Q: Why is being in the military like a blow-job?

A. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

Q: What do you call a guy who cries while he masturbates?

A: A tearjerker.

Q: How can you tell which is the head nurse?

A: She's the one with the dirty knees.

Q: Which of the following words does not belong: meat, eggs, wife, blowjob.

A: Blowjob. You can beat your meat, eggs, and wife; but you can’t beat a blowjob.

Q: Why did the woman smile when she walked down the marriage aisle?

A: She realized she gave her last blowjob. Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?

A: Pick him up and suck on his cock! Q: What’s the best thing about a blow job?

A: The ten minutes of silence!

Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly?

A: Kick his sister in the jaw.

Q: What does tightrope walking and getting a blowjob from your grandmother have in common?

A: You don't look down Q: What do you call ball's on your chin? A: A dick in your mouth!

Q: Why do men pay more for car insurance?

A: Women don't get blowjobs while they're driving. Q: What's the difference between pink and purple?

A: The grip! Q: Did you hear about the blonde who broke her nose on a steering wheel?

A: She was trying to blow the horn. Q: What's so good about an Ethiopian blow job?

A: You just KNOW she'll swallow! Q: Why did the blonde give a blow job after sex?

A: She wanted to have her cock and eat it too.

Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator?

A: Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me!

Q: What is the difference between oral and anal sex?

A: Oral sex makes your day and Anal sex makes your whole weak.

Q: What's the difference between love, true love, and showing off?

A: Spit, swallow, and gargle, Q: What’s better than a rose on your piano?

A: Tulips on your organ.

Q: Why doesn't Tom Cruise eat bananas?

A: He can't find the zipper!

Q: Whats comes after 69?

A: Mouthwash.

Q: What's the definition of a Yankee?

A: Same thing as a "quickie,"only you do it yourself.

Q: What's sicker than having sex with a pregnant woman?

A: Having sex with a pregnant woman and getting a bj by the baby.

Q: What is the square root of 69?

A: Ate something!

Q: Why do blondes give such good blowjobs?

A: Because that's what they train for all their lives.

Q: How do you know if your boyfriend has

a high sperm count?

A: You have to chew before you swallow!

Q: Whats the differance between a roast beef sandwich and a blow job?

A: You don’t know? soooo...you wanna do lunch tomorrow?

Q: How can you tell when you've had a really good blowjob?

A: You have to pull the sheets out of your ass.

Q: Why did the blonde fail at being a prostitute?

A: Because she gave blow-jobs literally.

Q: Why is sex like a game of bridge?

A: If you have a good hand, you don't need a partner.

Q: Why is 68 the maximum speed for sex?

A: Because at 69 they blow a rod!

Q: What’s the definition of trust?

A: Two cannibals giving each other a blowjob.

Q: What’s the difference between pink and purple?

A: The grip!

Q: What does 69 equal?

A: A couple of mouths full.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jeese ninja I know I'm not hung over but I evan had to concentrate on this post.

But very good.

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

That must have taken a good few minutes of concentration ninja - funny too

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By *akedninja OP   Man
over a year ago

edinburgh


"Jeese ninja I know I'm not hung over but I evan had to concentrate on this post.

But very good. "
lol would you rather have concentrated on facilitating me with a blowjob? xxx

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By *akedninja OP   Man
over a year ago

edinburgh


"That must have taken a good few minutes of concentration ninja - funny too "
you got that right buddy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol

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By *akedninja OP   Man
over a year ago

edinburgh


"Lol "
hehex which one is your favourite?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im a big cheese fan so for me its "Tulips on your organ".

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By *homCrownMan
over a year ago

from West Fife

Never had tulips on my organ. ?...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Never had tulips on my organ. ?... "

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By *homCrownMan
over a year ago

from West Fife

Cos they fall off as it rose up from below the stage!! ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cos they fall off as it rose up from below the stage!! ..."

youre not making it any better santa baby!!!

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By *homCrownMan
over a year ago

from West Fife


"Cos they fall off as it rose up from below the stage!! ...

youre not making it any better santa baby!!! "

My... THE organ...., lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lol hehex which one is your favourite?"

Has to be numbder 4

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By *akedninja OP   Man
over a year ago

edinburgh


"Lol hehex which one is your favourite?

Has to be numbder 4 "
hehe x

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By *akedninja OP   Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

What's everyones favourite? x

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By *hris n AnnaCouple
over a year ago

edinburghish

Pmsl the Hillbilly one made me laugh out loud

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Jeese ninja I know I'm not hung over but I evan had to concentrate on this post.

But very good. lol would you rather have concentrated on facilitating me with a blowjob? xxx"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's the definition of trust was my favorite.

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By *akedninja OP   Man
over a year ago

edinburgh


"What's the definition of trust was my favorite. "
hehe theyre all ny favourite x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why is it called, "a blowjob" ?

Women always do the opposite of what you tell them!! Boom Boom!

I'll get me coat.................

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By *akedninja OP   Man
over a year ago

edinburgh


"Why is it called, "a blowjob" ?

Women always do the opposite of what you tell them!! Boom Boom!

I'll get me coat................. "
lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Soo funny made me chuckle

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By *akedninja OP   Man
over a year ago

edinburgh


"Soo funny made me chuckle "
chuckle chuckle vision to me to you x

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