FabSwingers.com forum: I am not

By *uitar_antihero OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

I am not the owner of a bbc.

I am not ripped.

I am not classically handsome.

I am not vwe or vvwe.

I am not going to make every woman squirt.

I am not going to be taller than you if you are 5'6 & like to wear 6inch heels.

I am not clean shaven all over.

I am not in possession of a firemans uniform.

I am not going to throw you around the room.

I think that about covers all the usual requirements.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably better off putting this on your profile than on here fella.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uitar_antihero OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Nah, this'll do just fine

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

We know... tell us something new!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uitar_antihero OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

I am not here to tell you new things

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gutted!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's me out

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am not the owner of a bbc.

I am not ripped.

I am not classically handsome.

I am not vwe or vvwe.

I am not going to make every woman squirt.

I am not going to be taller than you if you are 5'6 & like to wear 6inch heels.

I am not clean shaven all over.

I am not in possession of a firemans uniform.

I am not going to throw you around the room.

I think that about covers all the usual requirements.

Can you make cake and hot choc?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am not the owner of a bbc.

I am not ripped.

I am not classically handsome.

I am not vwe or vvwe.

I am not going to make every woman squirt.

I am not going to be taller than you if you are 5'6 & like to wear 6inch heels.

I am not clean shaven all over.

I am not in possession of a firemans uniform.

I am not going to throw you around the room.

I think that about covers all the usual requirements.

Can you make cake and hot choc?"

yea cake will get you places

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Cake???????????

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mmmmmmmm cake

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eliciouslySalaciousCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Can you make cake and hot choc?"

We never quite got round to cake (...) but we can vouch for his fajita making skills :p

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cake provides so many double entendre opportunities

iced buns

chocolate fingers

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cake provides so many double entendre opportunities

iced buns

chocolate fingers

Sticky cream donuts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Mmmmmmmm cake

Errrrr excuse me - I GAVE you cakes and what did I get in return???

(oh yeah, I remember now

)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Mmmmmmmm cake

Errrrr excuse me - I GAVE you cakes and what did I get in return???

(oh yeah, I remember now

Yeah a big squidgy huggle ... Huh can't believe you almost forgot

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Mmmmmmmm cake

Errrrr excuse me - I GAVE you cakes and what did I get in return???

(oh yeah, I remember now

)

Yeah a big squidgy huggle ... Huh can't believe you almost forgot

Gonna get a really BIG cake next time - because you never know

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uitar_antihero OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Can you make cake and hot choc?

We never quite got round to cake (...) but we can vouch for his fajita making skills :p"

I am not here to make cake. Apart from you guys, you can have cake

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Glum now. Feel so unloved.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Glum now. Feel so unloved.

Awwwwwww come here, I'll give you a furry cuddle and some cake too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I make a cracking rich chocolate and raspberry muffin. So I'm not completely useless apparently

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oooh muffin

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really shouldn't eat cake. I'd prob put back on all the weight I've lost.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're still hot ladyIce. You can have cake

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan
over a year ago

Glasgow West

"Glum now. Feel so unloved.

Awwwwwww come here, I'll give you a furry cuddle and some cake too

Don't wear anything woolly for the furry cuddle, it'll be like Velcro...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan
over a year ago

Glasgow West

In answer to "I am not"...

I say "Human".

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *issNaughtyxxxWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Put the things you ARE, instead of the things that you Are'nt.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Add to that Probably outside your 18-99 age parameters

Although I clearly state 100% straight some people think I should suck cock.

I am a trained chef amongst other dubious careers I've embarked upon so making cake or any other food source

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uitar_antihero OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

I am not thinking that the intended humour of this post came across as intended

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am not mystic meg but my customers seem to think I am.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"I am not thinking that the intended humour of this post came across as intended"

You made me smile as always

Now where's my frigging cakes????

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"I am not mystic meg but my customers seem to think I am."

You look much better than septic peg!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You not seen me in my work gear.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uitar_antihero OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Ok,so explaining a joke takes away the humour but anyway....

This 'I am not' post was supposed to be a tongue in cheek dig at all the profiles that are adamant you must be vwe, or must be in uniform or whatever.

It seems I fluffed it. Oh well.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of us knew exactly what you meant

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ustcutieWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

Made me

especially some of the posts

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uitar_antihero OP Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Some of us knew exactly what you meant "

I hoped so. My comment was for those who didn't get it.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did someone mention cake??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"Did someone mention cake??

Oi you - that's my line

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan
over a year ago

Glasgow West

"I am not thinking that the intended humour of this post came across as intended"

I posted a similar status last week. It seemed to confuse a few people too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread