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try a joke thread

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Well what if you had one green ball in one hand and another green ball in the other , what would u have control off ( The Green Giant ) thats mine any others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

An old couple are getting ready for bed one night when all of a sudden the woman bursts out of the bathroom, flings open her dressing gown and yells "Super Pussy!" The old man says "I'll have the Soup".

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area

You both might want to TRY again

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan
over a year ago

Glasgow West


"You both might want to TRY again "

No. No. I'd call it quits at that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What word has 14 letters,begins with N,ends with n,has an n in the middle and means constipation?

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!

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By *akedninjaMan
over a year ago

edinburgh


"You both might want to TRY again "
lol

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By *akedninjaMan
over a year ago

edinburgh


"You both might want to TRY again

No. No. I'd call it quits at that "
lol

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By *akedninjaMan
over a year ago

edinburgh


"What word has 14 letters,begins with N,ends with n,has an n in the middle and means constipation?

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!"
thats a good one rab

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What word has 14 letters,begins with N,ends with n,has an n in the middle and means constipation?

Nnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!thats a good one rab "

Much safer typing it.Got to be very careful if you tell it to someone!!

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By *nferno sausageMan
over a year ago

Aberdeenshire

I've been sleeping with this bloke's wife and today he sent me this text:

"You go near her again and ill have you dead! Mark my words!"

To which I replied: "8 out of 10, - I'll requires an apostrophe and a capital I."

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By *ussymufferMan
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

paddy goes in to florist and said I would like to buy a bunch of flowers for my girlfriend the florist looked at him and said "certainly sir what is it your after ?" paddy replies "my hole"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just for that....

Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef......

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

A guy was meeting a friend in a bar, and as he walked in he noticed two pretty girls looking at him. He heard one girl say to the other; “Nine.” Feeling pleased with himself, he swaggered over to his buddy at the bar and told him that the girl in the corner had just rated him a nine out of ten. “Sorry to spoil your evening,” said his friend, “but when I walked in they were speaking German

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan
over a year ago

Glasgow West

What's the difference between Brussels Sprouts & bogies?

You can't get kids to eat Brussels Sprouts...

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By *he Enigmatic MagnetMan
over a year ago

Glasgow West

[Removed by poster at 17/10/13 18:05:03]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Man: Is this seat empty?

Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

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By *rnycpl2705Couple
over a year ago

Killin

Man: excuse me miss but do you believe that the hand is quicker than the eye?

Woman: yes I think it can be.

Man: well give me a wank then, nobody will see!!

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By *rnycpl2705Couple
over a year ago

Killin

A young man walks into a bar and orders 5 double whiskies.

The barman asks " are you celebrating something ?"

"Yea" says the man "I've just had my first blow job"

The barman says "congratulations son let me buy you another one"

The young man replies " no thanks mate....if 5 doubles can't get the taste out my mouth then nothing will!!!!"

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By *ussymufferMan
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

[Removed by poster at 17/10/13 22:07:11]

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By *ath-N-DelCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow area


"wee glesga woman was walkn home from bingo when she got dragged in to bushes. help help am getn robbed? she cried. ur not getn robbed ya daft cunt ur getn shagged replied her attacker as he unzipped his jeans. the wee glasga woman looked down at his cock and said if ur shagging me with that am getn robbed trust me "

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