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a cautionary tale

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Banned from Sainsbury's! (didn't like shopping there anyway)

Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury's buying a large bag of PURINA dog food for my loyal pet, and was in the checkout queue when the woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had- an elephant??

so, since i'm a bit 'mature' and have little to think about, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the PURINA diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't because I landed up in hospital last time, but I had lost 2 stones before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices, and IV's in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet, and that the way it works is to ,load your pockets with PURINA nuggets and simply eat one or two every time u feel hungry. the food is nutritionally complete, so it works well, and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was enthralled by my story)

Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in hospital because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I had stepped off a curb to sniff a rather attractive Irish setters arse, and a car had hit both of us.

I'm now banned from Sainsbury's (Tesco's welcomed me with open arms)

Better watch what you say to 'mature' people. They have a lot more time and life experiences to think up daft things

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By *autious CoupleCouple
over a year ago

home

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pmsl!!! That really appealed to me!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got more than a chuckle from this!

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

And that's why we love you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love it.....great tail...

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By *mudg3rMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

You're barking mad, mrs B.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well if your banned from tescos there's always waitrose.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The old ones are the best,

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By *cottishsexgoddessWoman
over a year ago

Glenrothes

PMSL!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mfao

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only u mrs b,, guess what martin will have in his pocket for u,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nice one lol

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By *ane DTV/TS
over a year ago

London - till 25th

Brings a whole new meaning to dogging it!

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By *imbo57Man
over a year ago

kilmarnock ish

Fantastic tale Mrs B had me one the edge of my seat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Only u mrs b,, guess what martin will have in his pocket for u, "
note to self:tescos for some purina before next social

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Only u mrs b,, guess what martin will have in his pocket for u, note to self:tescos for some purina before next social "

dinnae go to Sainsbury's!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Love it.....great tail... "

Haha nice one x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Better watch what you say to 'mature' people. They have a lot more time and life experiences to think up daft things

"

And they've heard more jokes to steal

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Better watch what you say to 'mature' people. They have a lot more time and life experiences to think up daft things

And they've heard more jokes to steal "

didn't 'steal' it, only resurrected it and passed it on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Supberb

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By *mooth tongue 4uMan
over a year ago

edinburgh

Their treatment of you was a bit 'ruff' x

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